I can sometimes help provide answers to things you have been seeking.
Member Since: October 9, 2006
Answers: 26
Last Update: November 24, 2006
Visitors: 1961
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ductape_n_roses
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Over the years I've trained my body to withstand pleasure and concentrate on something else. Now when me and my girlfriend have sex, it lasts for hours, is this normal? One night we went for four hours straight using no pills no attatchments and none of any of those other lovely toys. Is it a bad thing that this lasts this long? How long should it last? Usually I just go until she's completely exhausted and it still feels like I can get up and run a marathon as if nothing had happened. I think there's something wrong with me. Please, if anyone knows how I can fix this tell me. Thanx o^.^o (link)
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Also train yourself to accept pleasure.
In any scenario where you have one answer, one way of responding, despite the situation, eventually there will be a problem because the answer doesn't fit the optimum response to the current situation.
Try to make love differently each time.
Use lots of lube, especially if it starts to get dry, painful, or uninteresting for your partner.
And note that i say make love, not just run an endurance race. Sometimes men have odd notions that being big, having sex for a long time, or fast-fucking, or other displays of strength and masculinity are huge turnons for a woman. Often that is not what will turn her on the most.
Find what turns her on. Vary your lovemaking style. Don't worry about orgasming - that'll happen when the time is right.
Luyah
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im 14 and my boyfriend is 15. he's not a virgin, i am. the farthest ive been-making out.
should i be intimidated by this? im kind of scared. scared of wheather he'll think im a good kisser or not
and i always freeze up around him
because i feel scared.
i need some advice
how to give a handjob & blowjob
good making out tips[what bodyparts to touch & what to do while making out..not HOW to make out. ik thattt, just..other things like tips & stuff that'll make him want more ;)]
umm...
im not realy looking to have sex
HONESTLY
im smarter than that
i have goals for myself
but.
these are things every girl goes through
and im just lookikng for some help :)
thank you so very very much anyone.!! :D :D :D (link)
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look at sextips on livejournal
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soo, i'm 15 F, and I just had a crazy night. I've had a crush on my english teacher for a while. he's 42 but is extremely hot and sweet. I thought he never noticed me, but it turns out he did. Yesterday afternoon, i went to his office for extra help and one thing led to the next. I ended up performing oral sex on him(with a condom), we made out for a while, and he fingered me and gave me oral sex. I like him so much, how can I continue the relationship without getting him or me in trouble and without people finding out? (link)
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Back off on it and try to be just non-sexual friends until you've reached the age of consent.
Talk to him privately, and acknowledge the passion, but come to a mutual understanding of what you both feel is appropriate and respectful until you are a little older, and not in a professional relationship with him.
If you care about him enough that you want him to be able to keep his job, you have to for his sake keep a lid on this.
The legal and professional penalties for him engaging in sexual behavior with a minor, and/or someone he is in a professional relationship with, are devastatingly and disproportionately enormous at this time in this society.
The lifetime penalties and requirements for someone who has been labelled a sex offender are more severe than someone who has committed arson or almost any other crime. And sex is not actually a crime, but it is labelled such in today's society.
Luyah
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why is it kinda weird to me about giving my boyfriend oral sex? People say that it can taste funny and yeah.. (link)
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Have him shower first.
And you shower, etc too.
That'll make it so much nicer.
Luyah
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my best guy friend says that he wants to have sex with me before we graduate. we're sophmores. i dont mind because i care about him because he is one of my best friends but if i have sex with him will it ruin our friendship? (link)
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My best guy friend is an FWB, and it certainly hasn't ruined our friendship - quite the reverse, in fact.
But, do you WANT to have sex with HIM ?
It's not a question of minding - but you're under no obligation, and shouldn't feel that you are.
Luyah
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alright well i'm 90% sure i want to break up with my boyfriend.. but idk what im goin to say.. he broke up with me last week and he got his friend to call me and say "john wants to break up with you. bye" (he asked me out the next day, which is how we are going out again). so i was maybe thinking i could get my friend to call him and say the exact same thign to see how he feels! or i might say "hey i think we should just take break from each other and just let things smooth out" because we got in a fight earlier today.. and hes just too dramatic and he always brings a lot of unneeded drama. so someone please help me. how should i do it?? and should i do it on the phone? (link)
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Yes, definitely have your friend call him, but have your friend say the "take a break" thing that you said.
No need to just be a copycat back at him It could be cute, but no need to stoop to his level of drama.
Luyah
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Not sure where to put this exacly but w/e here it goes.
Last year started off as a pretty good year for me. Well my friend "Bob" was the one to start off the crap going on in my life. It started off with him trash talking me outside of school and then it worked it's way into school. I tried talking to him but he had turned into a real jerk. Later it would spread into a lot of other people doing the same stuff to me. I really didn't care to much because it was my last year at the school so I was just gonna deal with it and ignor them.(they hate me because I hate rap.... =/ ) Well After a month of this I got really pissed off and told one kid let's call "Frank" off. It was at the last period of the day so after class he came up behind me and wacked my over the head so I turned around and ounched him a few times then left. Now the physical abuse would start. When i was at my locker "bob" and another kid "george" started pushing me before class. It was last period and at PE. Now the teacher left the class for 30 min so you can just guess what happened. About 6 kids ganged up on me and kicked my ass but because I hit some of them good I almost got suspended and they got nothing. I got 2 weeks of detention and crap and nothing happened to them because the stupid princiapl only asked them + me what happened and she said "more people say you hit them for no reason". Well i put up with more of that until the end of the year. Now at a graduation party "bob" tackled me in the middle of a street for no reason at all and started a fight with me. Well luckily 2 of my friends were at the party also so it was pretty much 6 or 7 on 3. Now I am not a little whimp or anything but I can not take on tons of people. So I am off to H.S. and lucky me I go to the same one as EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THE THOSE IDIOTS. Any idea how I can get these pricks to get off me? (link)
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find some adults at your new school that you can be friends with. a teacher, a counselor, someone in the principle's office.
either see how you can volunteer to help them, or be visible in some activity that they care about,
or talk to them about the other problem kids, preferably before the other kids start talking bad about you.
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My best friend and I are going to be a fish and a fish bowl for Halloween. Does anybody have any tips or experience with making costumes like these? (link)
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1. safety: try to keep visibility, so you're safe crossing streets, and able to see others on the dance floor/ food table.
2. comfort: can you dance in it? how about sitting down in a chair if you want to rest a minute ...
3. endurance/nutrition: can you drink water/ eat snacks in costume, if not have a plan to take water breaks etc so you don't get dehydrated. (a dehydrated fish is a bad thing)
I'd suggest either a vertical fish costume for the fish, with the head near your head, and the tail at your knees or feet (but leave lots of side room or splits in the side so you can take big steps and dance)
or a horizontal costume with over-the shoulder supports that makes you look like you're riding the fish
for the bowl, i'd suggest a wide cut-out like a frame, of just the silouhette of the bowl. possibly a large hula hoop for the supporting structure?
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I'm in nineth grade and I write songs and poetry.
I want to read a poem I wrote about my ex boyfriend in front of the whole school.
But the problem is, I get nervous easily.
I read it for my mom and I kept running out of breath and stopping. and when I was done reading, I was shaking.
If I can't read it in front of my mom, how can I read it to 3,000 people?
any advice on how I can overcome this?
I have always wanted to do this but I'm scared.
And I don't want to mess this up in front of everyone. (link)
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Read slowly, enunciate, take the time with each thought in your poem for your audience to hear and absorb it. Remember, they have not heard this before, have not thought through each line and the words that you have chosen.
When reading, this is your moment.
Breathe and orient yourself in the room while waiting for your cue to speak to your audience
Take a deep breath, and speak in full tones. don't let your voice rise excessively in pitch from tension or breathlessness.
If you make an error in reading or start to tense up, take a moment to collect yourself, smile broadly at the audience, and take another deep breath before proceeding
Speak to your audience, not to your paper or to your lap or to your fears of what might happen.
If you cannot comfortably do this with the poem about your ex-bf, you might want to choose a less emotionally charged poem to read publicly.
It will help to be comfortable with the thought that you may not be able to regain the relationship with him even with your best efforts and most amazing performance.
But still take pride in doing your best and being able to create poetry, and move on to other life and love journeys.
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ok so when i was younger and had chicken pox i scratched them so now im 18 and i have marks on my face from scratching. they look like holes in my face. does anyone know how i can make them look less obv other then just putting makeup over it. (link)
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vitamin E can sometimes help even with old scars
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i sweat REALLY bad on my armpits. after a couple hours during the day, i reak. i need some suggestions for a really really good deoderant that doenst smell really strong and will keep my armpits smelling nice. also i dont want it to leave huge white lines on my shirt. thanks a ton (link)
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You need to clean your body from the inside:
More water
Lots of green veggies, chlorophyll in various forms.
Less junk food
No artificial diet drinks/sweeteners
Exercise more
Go easy on the meat and potatoes, eat lots more veggies and drink LOTs more water.
The basic concept is that if the body's main elimination systems are not fully processing normal waste products (and extra waste products due to allergy or illness etc), other parts of the body become used. actually skin, the respiratory system, etc are parts of the intake and outflow of the body that people don't always think of.
and then, use irish spring or zest deoderant soap under your pits when you shower.
Shave your pits with the deoderant soap, and then wash again with the deoderant soap.
Degree deoderant.
Bring along a small spray bottle filled with mouthwash - hide this somehow in your supplies and try to get a leakproof bottle and put it in a plasic baggie. Use the mouthwash to de-bacterialize your pits when thing start to get out of control, let it dry a bit, then re-apply more deoderant.
Oh - and sometimes chronic internal yeast infections such as Candida can lead to persistent exterior odor and/or fungous problems. Do you (or anyone else searching this topic) also have athlete's foot or other yeast/fungus outbreaks? this can be a sign of candida, which is curable - there's several homeopathic and natural products available which will help
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i have terrible breath and brushing doesnt seem to get it to go away. what can i do to get rid of it? (link)
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a friend of mine had terrible (in her case was socially crippling) breath as a child and young adult. it turns out that she has a food allergy - she is allergic to beef, and beef fat. Beef fat is sometimes used in cookies and other non-likely places.
If she avoids beef (and she does) then her breath is fine. She is now happily married to an amazing man.
Sequence of things to try:
1. brush, floss, mouthwash.
be sure to rinse your mouth thoroughly after brushing - brushing alone just kinda loosens up the crud.
2. new toothbrush
3. dentist
4. drink more water
5. more clorophyll. eat green veggies and salads. alphalpha, kelp, and/or clorophyll supplements from health food store
6. drink even more water, and find other things that will help cleanse your system: brown rice, fresh veggies, lay off the diet sodas!
7. See a health/holistic nutritionist type person and do things that support your liver, skin, circulation, and other organs that help detoxify and cleanse your body.
8. Have your health practitioner test for allergies. If this is done by a holistic/naturopathic person this can sometimes be a lot faster, cheaper and more effective than a medical doctor.
9. I'm assuming that your umm.. elimination/digestive tract is otherwise functioning well? If you're "holding" or something else is going on, additional toxins can occur and come out elsewhere in the body because the body tries to process them somehow.
While working through the above list, talk to your family, and with their support try eliminating one likely allergen from your diet for about a week, and see how you feel and if there's an improvement in your breath.
Likely allergens could be:
Dairy
Wheat
Sugar
Artificial sweeteners
you might want to web-search others.
The basic concept is that if the body's main elimination systems are not fully processing normal waste products (and extra waste products due to allergy or illness etc), other parts of the body become used. actually skin, the respiratory system, etc are parts of the intake and outflow of the body that people don't always think of.
I'm guessing that you might clear up if you start to drink more water, cut out artificial sodas (especially diet drinks) entirely, and eat more veggies.
And exercise more - preferably in the fresh air, where you can breathe freely and deeply without fear of embarassment, a couple times a week.
Let me know how it goes!
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19/F
I will admit it. I am a terrible dancer. I have fun dancing, but I look like a dork. I'm going to a Halloween dance thing with my boyfriend, and I'm at a loss as to how I'm going to dance with him, because although I have the slow dance thing worked out, I tend to look a little crazy when I boogie down to fast music.
Anybody have any tips to keep me from looking like a total loser on the dance floor? I shy away from the skanky grinding, but it may be a necessity. (link)
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Watch other dancers that you like. try to emulate them (hopefully without totally copycatting)
especially what they do with their arms and hands.
In future, you could take a dance class (or even invite your bf or other friends to take one with you)
Some dance situations offer a class that starts earlier than the evening's dance,or is held on a prior day. These can be very helpful in getting the feel of the dance style used at the event.
Yes, there are many styles of dancing. Some will probably be more fun/easy for you.
Personally, i grew up with international folk dancing, improvisational dance. have never really gotten the hang of swing dancing. didn't have the patience for ballet, love belly dancing but have yet to study it properly. enjoy historical dancing, such as jane-austen style english regency dancing or scottish. also irish
I use mostly improvisational dancing when in a couples dance situation like the one you're entering, and coordinating/harmonizing with what my partner is doing.
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ok, this is very random but i was watching a movie about a murder and i was wondering, if someone is arrested under murder charges and someone bails them out, later they go to trial and are found innocent, do they get that bail money back? (link)
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bail is different than a fee paid to a bailbonds company
often people will pay a percentage of the total bail to a bail bonds company (you know, one of those little businesses seen often near a courthouse) the company posts the entire bail, and in so doing earns the fee/percentage you pay them.
if you're a no-show in court, the company is out the entire cost of the bail amount. so they send one of their bounty hunters to track you down.
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does anymore know any good household products at home that can get well this is a little embarassing but blood stains out of your underwear? (link)
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Dr Bronners soap.
cold water, use a little bronners, then rinse.
bronners is also great for washing face and body especially if my skin is oily that day.
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my boyfriend and i had sex on monday night and it didnt hurt when we were doing it but that morning when i went to use the restroom and peed it really hurt it was a burning feeling and when i was peeing i got up and it still kept feeling weird like it was hurting down there. i can't explain the feeling its like i have to go pee but when i do go sit on the toilet i dont have to go its like a feeling i have to go it hurts to down there. today is wednesday and it still keeps hurting. i don't know what is wrong with me i mean what is wrong with me will this every go away because its been two days and its making me cry. someone please help me give me some answers. i have made a doctors appoitment but i have to wait until october 13. to go and that is like two weeks away and i cant not wait that long. someone please help me! Thanks in advance!!! (link)
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Most likely a mild urinary tract infection.
your bf, and yourself or whoever else touches you 'there' needs to wash his hands and his 'parts' before making love. lotsa little bacterias build up and create the problem you describe.
women can get seemingly chronic and repeated irritations from neglecting to require their partners to wash first. the guys especially can take some convincing to take this little break from the act once things have started to get passionate.
A shared shower beforehand solves the problem wonderfully.
lots of water, cranberry juice. (try to get the juice or a juice blend, it's better than cranberry cocktail because there's sugar in the cocktail) if it hurts even if you're screaming and crying from the pain when you pee, drink even more!!! the pee will wash out the infection and it'll start getting better soon!
(if you hold off on fluids, you can get dehydrated and the infection because it's not getting washed downwards can spread up into your bladder and kidneys, and that is nooott a good thing - i know someone who ended up in the hospital with this - it's muuuch cheaper and healthier to drink lots of water and juice at the first sign of any pain or irritation)
trader joe's and health food stores may have a tablet form cranberry extract supplement that's cheaper and more storable than juice that you can keep on hand to take if there's ever a recurrance
hope it's gotten better!
luyah
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okay... i do not know how to explain this.. BUT.. i do know one thing, i REALLY need to control my anger before i pound someone to death.. because thats how much anger i have inside of me... i have tried the breathing in and out, doesnt help me.. i have too much anger to actually concentrate AT ALL on that. I desperately need help or advice of ANY sort before i go too far..and i have a feeling its going to be soon... (link)
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Have a list of things to do when you're starting to get backed up emotionally ....
suggestions:
breathing is good even if that alone doesn't handle the problem, that'll give you a few minutes to start thinking things through
getting some water
walking
are you frustrated because something needs to be communicated or "get through" to someone, and you don't know the best way to do that?
differentiate between facts and emotions and responses - meaning, let's say someone is standing on your foot - that's a fact. the emotions in this could be various things both for you and the person - he could be doing it accidentally, or angrily, or? and you could feel various ways like angry or in pain or bored or even happy because it's a girl that you like. and your response could range from politely bringing the problem to the other person's attention, or punching them, or accepting it if you like the other person standing on your foot. see facts, emotions, and responses - these are three different areas ...
learn to percieve facts clearly, choose emotions, and above all choose responses.
oh - and ask questions.
if you keep asking the other person questions, you will both get a better understanding of what is actually happening in any situation.
and yes, do listen to what the other person has to say.
if one question doesn't work, try others. it's a valuable skill and can take practice and ingenuity.
oh - also, if expressing yourself, it often works best to make statements in terms of how you feel , as in " i feel you're crossing my boundaries when you stand on my foot ... why are you doing that? "
instead of accusational statements like " you're a stupid idiot whos standing on my f...ing foot and i will now pummell you.."
let me know if any of this helps
luyah
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The other day, i went to a funeral for a person i was friends with a few years ago. we lost contact, btu i felt i shoudl go, and say goodbye. i went with a girl i knew, and who had survived cancer. until about 2 weeks ago, she was given about six weeks to live. I felt so bad because i really cared for this girl, and i felt bad because while i was at the funeral, i felt liek "i'm glad it's not her funeral". I want to ask her out, btu i don't feel like it's an appropriate time. (link)
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Ask her gently if she would like to go out.
There may not be a more appropriate time than now to go out with her.
If you're not sure what she needs, ask her how you can help.
If you are sure what she needs, ask her if she would like you to do that.
You may not be able to change the outcome of her diagnosis, but love and laughter are some of the ingredients of the best chances she has, and will certainly improve the quality of life that she has.
Do follow through. Do not offer or promise something, and then not show up.
Most people have difficulty talking with or knowing how to address the needs of someone who is very ill or dying.
The keys are to ask ...
ask the person if they would like help.
ask the people caring for the person how you could help
ask the person how you could help.
these are skills that become more frequently needed as we get older.
Luyah
PS: my suggestions above assume that she is telling the truth about her illness. I do know of people who lie about or exagerate illness and other alarming 'facts' in their life to get attention or to cover for other problems that they're having difficulty confronting.
A very sensitive, balanced, and informative action on your part would be to talk with one of her parents or a relative or caregiver, expressing your concern, and requesting their permission to spend a little time with her.
If she is in fact ill, offering to visit her and play some non-stressful family-friendly games at their home would be reassuring to her parents, and would not detract from limited time they have with her.
If she is faking it, take a deep breath and learn from the experience. You may want to decide to continue associting with her and help her find ways to establish self-esteem and develop life skills so that she doesn't have to artificially use shock value to get attention. Or you may want to distance yourself, or some combination of both.
In any event, don't be overly hard on yourself. You have a wonderful opportunity to find out more about life, love/friendship, and communication skills. Whether she is ill or faking, you have an extreme situation - these can be difficult to handle perfectly. Just do your best, and i encourage you to keep asking for advice if you get stuck trying to figure out your next move.
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I've never been kissed before and I need to know what to do. When a guy goes to kiss you, how do you kiss back? People say it just comes totally naturally and you dont even have to do anything or think about it. Is that true? (link)
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Assuming that you like the guy who is trying to kiss you, and the way he is kissing, you respond in kind. But don't accelerate or try to go deeper too fast. Usually it's wise to let him lead.
Go softer and lighter than you'd think.
Whisper soft explorations can be soooo hot.
Kissing is actually one of the least well-practiced of the sensual skills one often hears about.
Luyah
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Ok here's the deal... yesterday in life science we
hade a chapter 2 test. I studied really hard and I
was confident that I would ace that test. But then
I got stuck on one of the problems... So I went to my life science teacher to ask a question where the girl sitting next to me took my life science journal quickly looked in my notes for the answers then left it on the ground where I was sitting to make me look as if I were cheating. When I came back I looked down surprised to see my notebook open then a kid told on the teacher that I was cheating. I got sent to the principle's office and he said he would talk to my life science teacher get this figured out and I knew I had no chance on getting everybody to know that she cheated not me. I left my parents work number so they could call them if worst comes to worst. Now I am so freakin worried.... what should I do imagine my parents dissapointed in me. (link)
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Talk to your parents before anyone else does and start off by asking their advice on how to handle this and how to talk to the other adults involved.
Tell your parents what actually happened. If there was any part of this that you messed up on even a little bit think about it and let your parents know how you can do better on that in future.
If you're trying to handle this without ratting on the student next to you, talk to your parents about that too and see what they think.
In any discussions, focus on facts and solutions, not on blame or excuses. Keep your voice calm and in an low register. Listen and understand. Let the other person know you're listening and heard them. Respect more than you request respect.
Luyah
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