I'm an engineering student (electrical). I'm just slightly a "nerd" and a "geek"--but in a good sort of way. Like, I fix a lot of things for friends, and I have a lot friends. ; ) But I enjoy other stuff too.
I am tall and otherwise average build. People tell me I have a great sense of humor and they like my wit (puns are "cheap humor"). A few girls have told me I am good-looking, but I don't think I am. I think I'm average looking. Some girls in bars have called me "handsome." But that's their job to make customers feel good.
Anyway, I am 21. I like all kinds of elecrical gadetry and computers. I would like to work for NASA someday. Space and the unknown fascinate me.
This is really weird, but I would prefer to listen to classical music than just about any other kind of music. I have a part-time job where I sometimes work on sound systems and I have to listen to rock in order to test the systems, but that's the only time I listen, except for some of the classic rock stuff that my dad has mentioned.
The thing I like most is helping people solve problems--gadget problems as well as personal problems. I have a quite a few friends (both male and female) who just like to hang out and work through their relationship problems, school problems, and career choice issues. I have thought about being a psychologist or counselor, but it doesn't seem to pay enough. : (
I ramble a lot too. ;)
Gender: Male
Location: Cincinnati
Occupation: Student
Age: 21
Member Since: October 27, 2006
Answers: 11
Last Update: December 26, 2006
Visitors: 2270
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im 14 and my boyfriend is 15. he's not a virgin, i am. the farthest ive been-making out.
should i be intimidated by this? im kind of scared. scared of wheather he'll think im a good kisser or not
and i always freeze up around him
because i feel scared.
i need some advice
how to give a handjob & blowjob
good making out tips[what bodyparts to touch & what to do while making out..not HOW to make out. ik thattt, just..other things like tips & stuff that'll make him want more ;)]
umm...
im not realy looking to have sex
HONESTLY
im smarter than that
i have goals for myself
but.
these are things every girl goes through
and im just lookikng for some help :)
thank you so very very much anyone.!! :D :D :D (link)
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Keep in mind that it's usually very easy to keep a guy wanting more. Especially because nearly every guy always wants more all the time anyway. That's the way we're made. ; ) But you need to ask yourself if sex (HJs and BJs in your case) is all you can offer. Most girls can offer their boyfriends sex. Why not try to offer more? How about trying to be an interesting person to talk to? That means knowing about stuff that's going on around you; or getting involved in interesting hobbies or sports. It means being a good listener, and being able to respond intelligently. It means being a good friend, also. You need to explore all the ways of being interesting and enjoyable to be around. This will help you be able to offer your boyfriend something more than what the average girl can offer.
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hey guys.. in 14, freshman. ivehad my boyfriend for just about a year. everyone has already had sex, or atleast thats what it seems like. And i really think im inlove witht his guy. i dont knwo hwo else to word it, just ITS LOVE. he tryed fingering me multable times, but i guess i got scared, and gave him a little push away. i think i was afraid he didnt knwo how to do it(hah) but anyways i also tryed to give him a handjob, but it was wayy harder than i thought. i almost just want to have sex, like when the moments right because i know that wont be any harder than fingering or givin a hj ya know??
help? i dont know that i should. i mean i want to but i dont know that it "right", or even realistic. im still young and all. im confused i guess.
also, any tips?? (link)
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Given the risks of STDs and pregnancy, you should not have sex at 14. Both guys and gals under the age of about 17 or 18 do not fully understand what love is. I know I didn't. Don't you think you would be better off dating other guys and learning what's available in this huge world, than to limit yourself to knowing only one guy?
Instead of thinking about sexual activities all the time, why not try just doing fun things together, with less emphasis on sex for now. One of the reasons both of you feel a constant need for sex is that you are not doing enough other fun and interesting things.
You have lots of time for sex in the future. Your opportunities to have sex don't decrease as you grow up. You will eventually find the right guy, and you will know it. In the meantime, try to find some hobbies, get involved in activities at school (or church), consider trying to help people who need help, look around your community and see if you can find ways of volunteering to make it a better place to live. These are things that you and your boyfriend can do together. Think of yourselves as a team, working together on a goal to help somebody or some thing. It's fun stuff.
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Riiight...
I'm 14. My girlfriend is 16. We both love each other very much.
Recently, after a night of passion (basically lots of making out and holding one another), she offered to take me to third base. I am simply not sure I'm ready for this, for a couple reasons...
The major one is it's simply incredibly daunting. I've never made it that far with any girl, and this is the kind of thing I've heard about in health class. I feel a little young and unprepared... I just get rather nervous when I consider it.
The other is simply the original idea I had when I first heard of it. I remember back years ago, when I first heard of the whole idea, I remember thinking "Wow, that sounds really disgusting for her. I would never make ANY girl do that for me". She says it doesn't bother me, but I don't know...
What you have to understand is that it's not her, it's me. I love and trust her indefinitely, it's issues I just have with myself. I think I also feel a little insecure about my body... I'm also afraid, however, that if I continuously pass something like this up, I'll just never be ready no matter how old I get.
Please don't answer this from a religious standpoint, and don't just say "talk to her" because I'm already doing that. She'd like an answer by Saturday.
Does anyone have any advice? (link)
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It prolly won't help to tell you what you should or shouldn't do in this situation. But keep two things in mind: There are possible health risks involved in the activity you refer to, so you should fully understand the risk of STDs; and you have your whole life ahead of you so there will be hundreds or even thousands of opportunities for this kind of sexual behavior in the future. You don't have to do it right now if you are not ready for it.
I was a junior in college before I had a sexual experience with a partner, and I don't feel that I missed anything at all. By that time, I knew what I wanted; I knew the risks and possible consequences; and I decided I was ready for sex. I like being in control of my life. This means deciding on what I want, knowing how to get what I want, and then having the guts to get it. It also means keeping the other person's wants and needs in mind. I might not have been mature enough to be able to do these things until I was well into college. Once I decided to start dating and seeking a sexual relationship, I found plenty of opportunities. The opportunities for sex don't seem to decrease as you grow up; they only increase. So, there's no need to sweat it for now; don't give in to pressure. Make sure you know what you want before you do it.
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I've got a bit of a problem with sexual compatibility with my husband. He's into things I really am not into and I'm afraid if I don't try some of these things, he'll find someone else who will. I already found a receipt for condoms, which we don't use, which he purchased on his way to Florida, when was away on a job for 3 weeks. That was proof of what was on his mind and what he was capable of. He's into really kinky things like wanting to dress up in womans clothes with makeup, has fantasies of doing it with a man, and wants me to try a threesome. I never thought of myself as square, but I guess I'm more traditional than I thought. I feel pressure to go along with some of his ideas, which I haven't yet, because I know he'll stray elsewhere. He let it go for a while & our sex life is a once in a blue moon deal, because I know he's bored. Any advice? Do I do what he wants even though I hate it, just to keep him? I do love him and hate to divorce him over this, but trust is a big issue with me too. He knows I'm not into this stuff, but just recently brought all this up again. I don't mind watching a little porno or using toys, but this is just out of my league. What should I do? I don't think compromising will work with him.
hyacinth1121 (link)
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There are many issues here that need to be dealt with. I think you should get a professional counselor involved. Both you and your husband need to talk with him or her. Perhaps you could ask your family physician for a recommendation for a counselor. Or contact the counseling department at a nearby college. If you are active in church, perhaps the pastor (or pastoral counselor) could make a recommendation. By all means, NEVER do anything sexual that makes you uncomfortable. Get professional advice instead.
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(Fourteen; Female)
I've been dealing with mild acne since age 11. I get blackheads on my nose and small pimples (not whiteheads, just bumps) all over my forhead and chin.
With the level of stress rising in school, I now get more and more pimples spreading to my cheeks, temples, neck, chest, arms, and back. Just a few here and there, but rapidly increasing.
Also, cystic pimples are popping up alot.
I've tried everything from Clean&Clear to AcneFree. ProActive is not choice right now due to money. A dermatolgist cannot happen either.
Does anyone have any sort of mirical worker? (link)
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I had a really bad problem with acne from about age 13 to about age 18. I did have doctors' care, but they didn't know how to treat it because it was so bad. I will always have scars (physical and mental) from it.
Antibiotics helped some, although doctors aren't prescribing them as much nowadays. But you would have to see a doctor to get a prescription, of course. If you can't do that, you might ask a pharmacist at your local drug store for his recommendations for good over-the-counter medications.
For me, washing the affected areas with soap at least twice a day helped some. This removed excess oils, which can contribute to acne problems. Don't scrub the areas hard though. Keep your hair and skin as oil free as possible. Also, don't squeeze or pick at the blackheads and acne eruptions. You may spread the infection this way. If the pimples need to be "opened" and cleaned out, stand under a warm shower for awhile, or soak the areas in a bathtub. The warm water will soften the skin and you will notice that some of the pimples and the pores will open up and drain or can be easily cleaned out.
My girlfriend helped me more than anything else. She noticed that certain foods I ate--like dairy products for example--upset my stomach and also made my acne worse. I had not noticed this until she pointed it out. I would get diarrhea about four to eight hours after eating dairy products (like ice cream or milkshake), and then I would have an acne outbreak about 24 hours later. So, foods can have an effect on acne, especially if you have an allergy like I do.
I think you should definitely watch your diet even if you don't have food allergies. I believe that "eating right" is simply good for you, and it might help somewhat with the acne. There is much information available on how to eat right. I won't go into that here. But I would definitely try for a "balanced" diet. Watch your fat and sugar intake, get enough fiber, eat plenty of fruits and vegetables, and drink enough water (and reduce your intake of colas and other soft drinks).
Remember: It is likely that you will eventually "grow out of" this phase of your life, and your acne will go away.
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Help! My school work is snowballing and I really don't have to mood to do my work. I'm just so lazy and looking at the snowballing hmwork, I feel worse. And to make things worse, my hmwrk is so difficult to understand. So when I try to understand a subject, it'll take me at least three hours. So I find it very hard to plan my timetable.
And also, in school, I have long breaks and I hate it. Because I don't really feel like stdying during these breaks. I just wanna slack and day dream during breaks.
I know everyone keeps saying just plan your study timetable well but I seriously don't think I'm ever going to finish studying everything before my exams. I'm like sleeping late almost every night trying to catch up with my hmwrk. Sometimes I even ask myself why the hell do I work so hard for.
Someone please help me before I burst. (link)
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Hey, I've got the same problem--100%! I'm in college now, but this problem has been with me since junior high, prolly. One thing I do is play mental games with myself...like, thinking about how nice it will be to get out of school and get a job and make decent money. And when I think like that, I know I have to hurry up and get the hmwrk done so I can get a decent grade and get my degree and get out. Try focusing on a goal like that--like getting done with this class you're in, or to get done with this year of school, or to graduate, or to get into a college...whatever. Think that this situation you are in now is temporary--it won't last forever. You only have a few weeks or a few months to go until something changes. Try to work hard until then and be as successful as possible until the change occurs. Failure doesn't help anything, so you have to work hard enough to prevent that from happening. Also, there is nothing wrong with taking little breaks while you're working on hmwrk. Just set a limit on how long they can be, and then get back to work. Also, and this is funny--drink lots of ice water while you're working. It's refreshing and kinda stimulating, and it forces you to have little breaks when you sip it. It breaks up the monotony of doing hmwrk.
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me and my boyfriend waited 9 months before we had sex .. now WHENEVER we hang out we do it like 5 times .. i dont want it to get old .. and i think we do it too much .. he feels differently but im not sure how to talk to him .. please help =[ (link)
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All depends. How often do you hang out? Everyday? Once a week?
Do BOTH of you want sex that often? If only one of you wants it that often, then there could be a problem that you really should talk about.
Maybe you don't have enough other interesting things going on. Can you find other things you really want to do in addition to sex? Try some new things, like hobbies, working out, going out with your buds, finding some people who need your help and then helping them, getting involved in extracurricular activities at school, volunteering for something at school or in your community. Set some worthwhile goals for yourself and have your boyfriend do the same, and then achieve them.
As you get older and in college and stuff, you might find that there is just not enough time to get all the really important stuff done and also have sex several times a day. Just a thought, but it might seem pretty lame right now.
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I'm not sure that advice is EXACTLY what I'm looking for, but I'd like to understand something. Love seems to have a different impact on everyone who feels it. (This is about romantic love.) Why do you think love is important? What does it do for people? What is the point? Fulfillment? I have heard that no two people can ever fully understand each other, but we all spend years trying to find that one person who can understand us. Why ? (link)
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We're just "wired" that way, to want love. Yeah, and I am sure "love" is different for many people, but some people agree on what it means. I remember one time when a school counselor asked me to define love, because I really felt "in love" with this girl in high school, and I was miserable because she wouldn't date me, and I wanted to talk to a counselor about it. I remember taking a long time to answer the counselor's question because I hadn't really thought about trying to define love; I just felt it and experienced the emotion or the sensation without trying to find words to describe it. But anyway, I finally told the counselor that love is a feeling of companionship, of wanting to do something for the other person, of wanting to give the other person more than you have yourself, of wanting to be with the other person more than anything else you can think of, of just enjoying talking with the other person. The counselor said, "Yes, you know what love is and you have experienced it."
Love is like a switch that gets turned on within us and it motivates us to be with another person and to put the other person's needs and well-being far above our own. Yes, love may be illogical at times; I know my own behavior is sometimes illogical when I am experiencing being "in love." But it can be a heck of a lot of fun for two people. I don't think a couple has to "fully understand" each to be in love. Sometimes not fully knowing each other keeps the relationship interesting. But you need to know enough about each other to have unconditional trust, to know that the other person is always your ally, your friend, your partner. Different people have different ways of understanding each other. Understanding is something that happens as a relationship grows, and it can mean a lot of different things, depending on how the relationship develops over time.
Also, I don't think you have to spend years trying to find the "right" person. I used to think this, but now I think you can find love practically anywhere you go, if there are a lot of different kinds of people present. I am not sure that I have ever found anyone without some flaws, but I have been "in love" at least five times. Make it your #1 goal to get out of the house or out of the office and meet people. Take classes, join volunteer organizations, go shopping when other people are shopping, let your friends know that you really want to meet people, join a church and get involved in church activities, take up one or more hobbies that require interacting with people, get a dog and walk it through the neighborhood, try to be friendly and look friendly, listen to what other people talk about and see if you can contribute to their conversations, get in shape through exercise and dieting, buy some stylish clothes--you probably already know this stuff--but just in case.
Your questions are very difficult to answer because they seem to require concrete answers, and love isn't like that. But, knowing that doesn't help you at all. Hopefully, something here helps a little.
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The bar scene is beginning to make me sick.
I really wanted to try the whole "interweb dating" thing, so I did! I met someone from MySpace and he completely hated me. You might say "Oh Erica, you're clearly exaggerating."
No. If this guy had a machete, I wouldn't have a head.
I want to date. Any advice, oh hell, just any response whatsoever, would make me happy. (link)
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Seems to be the same for guys too.
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So this guy I'm seeing came over last night and we were just making out when he takes his hand, puts it between my legs and starts rubbing me. Well, I usually wouldn't have a problem with it but it seemed as if he didn't know what he was doing. Not doing it in the right spot AT ALL.
I tried taking his hand and put it where I wanted it but somehow it'd always end up in the wrong spot again.
So after that happened, I took his hand off of my crotch and didn't let him do it any more.
Now, he thinks I made him stop because I wasn't comfortable with it. Should I let him think that or should I tell him the truth?
(link)
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I wouldn't worry about whether to tell him the truth of not. Just tell him or show him what you want. As a guy, I would want to know what my girlfriend wants, and what feels best to her. Just show him where to touch you and how to touch you. My experience is that not all girls want exactly the same kind of stimulation. I know that I have not given some of my girlfriends what they really wanted because they were shy about telling me. It's not really fair to the guy when a girl expects him to already know how to touch her.
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Is it true that guys don't really like hand jobs? And that everytime they get a girl to give them a handjob, they are really just looking for a way to convince the girl to give him a blow job? (if that makes sense) (link)
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You sound pretty young. I hope you are old enough to decide what you really want to do, and not let anyone pressure you into something you don't want to do. I am sure you know all about the disease issues and the possibility of going further than you want to go, with a resulting pregnancy. If you don't know about these risks, please find out before you do ANYTHING!
As to whether or not a guy has a preference for an HJ or a BJ, it probably depends on the guy. At least for some guys, having a girl give a HJ is just incredible. I've had three girlfriends who did. They all seemed to know how, and they did them very well. One girlfriend said she wanted to try giving a BJ. She did, but she didn't like it. She said it was her first time; it was also my first time. I didn't like it either, even though she did it very well. A few weeks later, she tried it again, with the same result. We have never tried again, and may not ever, which is fine with me. Anyway, I don't feel I need BJs, especially if a girl doesn't want to. I think any guy worth having as a boyfriend would respect your wishes. If he doesn't, and he insists on something you don't want, then dump him immediately--like right now! Walk away.
Also, remember that you shouldn't have to do anything sexual to enjoy each others' company and friendship. You can do things together--work on projects together, play games together, go to movies, hold hands, dance, work on hobbies together, cuddle, kiss, take drives together, go for walks together or go hiking, and a whole bunch of other things--where you really enjoy each other while becoming great friends--all without doing anything that is directly sexual.
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