about

Hello,how are you? I hope you're fine but if you're not then just ask and I'll see what I can do.
I'm a 17 yr-old girl.I live in Wales,Britain so I'd be good for an outsider's view.I'm studying for my A-levels in History,English Lit,Media Studies and Welsh.I play the cello and I'm in a whole bunch of orchestras,and a choir or two. I'm an OXFAM volunteer and I'm looking for paid work to fund university this Autumn.

The picture on this column is obviously not a picture of me, it is my avatar from Spacefem.com.

I'm bisexual and I have a boyfriend, so questions about coming out or dating are fine by me. I live with both parents and my younger brother and sister so i know quite a lot about family dynamics.

I'm very open-minded and I'll try to answer as best I can. Basically you can ask me qestions on pretty much anything.

I hope you're all doing OK.

advice

What is the likelihood of geting pregnant if you have unprotected sex whilst on your period ?

I'm afraid to say that it is entirely possible to get pregnant any time you have sex, whatever the time off the month. The sperm will stick around inside your body for quite a while. For some women the liklihood it's a bit reduced if they have sex during their period but not at all significantly. MOre importantly perhaps, the risk of getting sexually transmitted diseases is the same whether you are on your period or not.

If you have had unprotected sex then I'd suggest you might want to go to a family planning or sexual health clinic for a checkup and if your period is late then a pregnancy test would probbly be a good idea.

I'm sorry if this all sounds a bit scary but it's quite important. You should always use proper protection if you choose to have sex.

Hoped that helped and feel free to ask me anything,
Girlwithamansname

[view]


do you have the contact info to parent planhood.....and how does it work...

Hey there,

I'm not sure if you are based in Britain or the US so I'm going to givce you contact details of family planning services in both countries.

In Britain you can find your nearest Family planning or GUM clinic via a variety of different methods.
1) Look in the phone book under GUM clinic or family planning.
2)Ask your GP or local health centre, hospital, midwife or health visitor, advice centre, helplines, health authority or health board.
3)Call NHS Direct (0845 46 47).
4) Use the search option on one of the following sites - http://www.bashh.org/directory.htm or http://www.playingsafely.co.uk/index.asp or http://www.fpa.org.uk/helpnow/where/index.htm

I'm not too familiar with the American system but you can either use steps one and/or two above or you can take a look at the family planning website, http://www.plannedparenthood.org/pp2/portal/

As for how the clinics work, this also depends a little bit on whether you live in Britain or America or some other country. It also depends on whether it is a drop in clinic or appointment only.

If you need an appointment then phone up in advance (most places provide a drop in service in emergencies), otherwise just show up. Try to get there relatively early on so as not to have to wait to long.

Go to the reception and give your name. If it's your first time then you will probably be given a form to fill in. You then wait until you are called for your appointment.

When you go in they'll check up on some aspects of your general health and ask you what you are there for and things will progress accordingly. If you have a specific question or problem then they will answer it for you. If you want condoms then they will talk a bit about safe sex and then give a lot of condoms and some leaflets in a 'discreet' brown paper bag. If you want to go on the pill then they'll discuss it with you and measure you blood pressure. You'll then be seen by a doctor who will prescribe the pills and give them to you in another 'discreet' paper bag, probably with a bunch of condoms and leaflets as well.

If you have more complicated questions then they will be happy to answer them. These people talk about sex and sexual health every day for their living. They are pretty much impossible to faze and there is no reason to feel embarrassed.

I hope that helped. Please get in touch again if you want more advice,

Hugs and balloons,
Girlwithamansname

[view]


do guys really care about how big a girl's chest is?
guys please answerrrr !! .. and girls if you know the answer too..

I'm a bisexual girl with a 38E bra size. I sometimes like biggish breasts (C-E) cup but any bigger than that can seem too big. My ex-girlfriend has a B cup and I know of women with almost completely flat chests that are very attractive.

As long as they're real then they can be any size and it really won't matter.

[view]


My boyfriend and i have been dating for a year. . i found out he had been "talking" with a few other girls.. he says he hasnt done anything with them but come on, we all know some guys just cant admit things ? Him and i have been sexual but once i found out about the other girls i just didnt have the drive to want to do anything with him, but once i did. . well, now i have a huge buldge in the back of my throat and its inflamed. It hurts to swallow and seems kinda; pussy if that could be ? What do you think it could be? Maybe, and HOPEFULLY just bronchitis or something of that sort. Also, even if it could be something else; my mom doesn't know that him and i have been having sex. Even though i am 17.. she would absolutely freak. Advice.. please.

It sounds like you have tonsillitis/ other similar illness.

Whatever it is you should go and see a doctor to get it checked. You can go in secret if you want but your mum would probably want to help if you're ill. You don't need to tell her that you think it could be an STI (which it is VERY unlikely to be) and you can can bee seen by the doctor on your own if you want.

[view]


i don't know what i want to be for halloween does any body have any suggestions...i love playboy and it can be sluttey and sexy...i am 16

Dress as an outfit you look good in and then add some fake blood. Then you can be a victim from a horror film.

[view]


ok,so i'm going to a show tomorrow night and you're supposed to dress up..the thing is..i dont know what to be!
i want to be something unique and original..but i need some ideas. :]

I'm going as a card guard from Alice in Wonderland (there's a group of us going together).

All you need is a black t shirt (£2) which you have embroidered the Ace of Spades onto with embroidery thread (£1) and some black eyliner (£2.50) for playing card patterns on your skin.

Either wear that with black trousers or a black skirt and black and white stripey socks.

It's a quick, easy and unusual Halloween costume.

[view]


My boyfriend and I have this game I guess you could call it. We ask eachother questions to get to know eachother better, or just to know random facts about the other person. Most of the questions are like "What attracts you to me most?" and "What do you like most about my personality?" Stuff like that. My question is does anybody have any questions I can ask him? I am completely out of questions! Thank you! =]

I have a few fun ones, I play this game too.

If you were in a porn film, what would the plot be and what would it be called?

Pink elephants or purple zebras?

Chocolate or cheese?

What embarrassing nickname did you parents call you by when you were a baby?

Who is the ugliest person you'd sleep with to get £1 million?

If you were gay for a day who would you have sex with?

I hope those have provided some inspiration,
Girlwithamansname

[view]


I have a college induction day tomorrow, where they go through your subject choices and you get to meet people at the college... it's a private college (there was a test to get in and it costs alot to go there) and the dress for the day is "smart casual"... would it be okay to wear jeans? A pair that arn't ripped ect... lol I don't have trousers! But if it's not a good idea I can borrow something off my mum :S
What do you think?
16/f/UK

It's important that you feel comfortable in what you are wearing so I wouldn't advise borrowing clothes from anyone.

More important than what you wear is how you wear it. It would be fine to wear a decent pair of jeans with a nice top and proper shoes (no trainers or flip flops). Just make sure that you look neat and that your make up is non-existent or natural looking.

Does the college have a website? Why not check it out and see what sort of clothes people are wearing in the photographs?

Have fun at the induction day and don't forget to get to know the other students,
Girlwithamansname.

[view]


hey i just started school today..and i have like none of my friends in my classes..and i like the shyest person everrr!! soo i need to make some friends.. but i'm tooo shy..ahh.please help

I feel your pain! I'm a very shy person too.

First of all I'm going to start off with a few cliches- You're all in the same boat and it's not as bad as you think etc etc...

Are you sure there's noone in your classes that you might like once you get to know them? Half of them are probably just as shy as you and maybe the person sitting behind you doesn't make a very good first impression. Try talking to them about homework or ask to borrow a pen in order to start a conversation. Do they have band stickers on their folders? Then why not ask them about their music taste?

Is there any hobby you are particularly interested in? Try joining a club or a sports team. I met my best friend in the School Orchestra because we both play cello and I'm still friends with people from the drama group even though I've stopped going.

I hope I've given you a few ideas,
Girlwithamansname

[view]


would it be considered taboo.. or incest for me to date my brothers fiances sister? i mean there is no blood connection.. hmm please help.. i dont knwo what to do

The relationship wouldn't be incestuous because, as you said, there is no blood relationship between the two of you. Some people might find it a little odd but, on the other hand , some might think it charming.

Personally, I would see nothing wrong with the relationship as long as you are all happy. I do think you should consider what would happen if one of the relationships breaks down. For example, if your brother marries his fiance but your relationship with your sister-in-law (to be) breaks down, then that could make for some very awkward family gatherings.

You should probably try talking to your brother about this to see whether he and his fiance would be comfortable with the situation. And of course, you should be sure that the girl in question likes you.

Think carefully and good luck!
-Girlwithamansname

[view]


I am currently on holiday in Spain and my period has started a week early. I therefore only have a couples of pads with me that I brought in case of an emergency. I´m obviously going to buy some pads but I can´t see any of the usual English brands I would buy and I was wondering if using Spanish pads would be safe? I.E. would they increase my risk of any infections or TSS?
Thanks!

As long as you buy them from a reputable shop then you shouldn't have a problem. Spanish girls manage ok so you should too.

If you're worried about infections then just make sure you change you pad regularly (every 4 hours preferably) and wash down there daily.

-Girlwithamansname

[view]


Does anyone have any sad slow love songs similar to "All My Life" by KC and JoJo and "Have You Ever?" by Brandy??Please help me I'm going through a bad time right now and it would help me very much! I'll rate 5's thank you!

It's not really a love song but I'd reccommend Good Riddance (the time of your life) by Greenday. It's got a more positive message than many other songs of that time and hopefully it might cheer you up eventually.

[view]


hey im a 15 female and i have brown hair thats pretty long a little below my boobs haha, its thick and when i let it air dry its wavy, but i can wear it either wavy or straight depending on what i want.. i have some layers and face framing but i wanted to try something new for the school year. i dont wanna get highlights or anything i am just looking for a new look so people will see a difference... and nothing too short because i have a oval shaped face and it wouldnt go good with it and i dont think side bangs would either... well thankss

I am very lucky to have a trainee hairdresser for a boyfriend, and he has suggested that you should have it cut to shoulderlength with feathered layers to frame the face and maybe a fringe. Why not discuss suitable styles with your hairdresser? A good idea would be to go to your regular hairdresser (if you have one) and ask for a consultancy.

If you don't want a cut then try really simple but effective styles such as pigtails or braids.

Or you could dye it bright blue!
-Girlwithamansname

[view]


okay so i am around 5'3 and i weigh around 130.. i have stomach fat and i have been doing crunches for a long time and they dont help that much.. my question is, what can i do to lose this stomach fat?

I'm very sorry to have to tell you this but excercising the stomach muscles will not guarantee you a nice flat stomach.

The exercises WILL tone the muscles but if they are hidden by a layer of fat then it won't be at all obvious. You need to combine situps and oblique crunches with normal aerobic exercise such as running or swimming and a healthy diet.

Sorry I don't have a miracle cure!
-Girlwithamansname

[view]


well the other day when my friend slept over it was time to put our pj's on and i usually go into the bathroom to get changed and my friend just started to take it all of in front of me and i got nervous so i went to the bathroom.....does that mean anything?? like did she want to see me naked or somthing?? because she is usually a private person about that stuff

signed confused?

i rate 5's for GOOD answers

PS im a girl

It's perfectly normal for people to get changed into their PJ's in the bedroom, even at a sleepover. It's quite likely that it was subconcious- she was used to doing it at home so she went ahead and did it. I doubt very much that she did it to see you naked.

I wouldn't take her actions as a sign of anything untoward or unusual. She might be Bi/gay but getting changed at a sleepover is no indication of this.

Don't worry about it. In future, if you would rather that she got changed in private, just ask something like 'Do you want to use the bathroom first or shall I'.

-Girlwithamansname

[view]


anyone know a good recipe for a low-fat fruit smoothie. not something you just got off google though. something yummmmy :D

Mango tropical
1) Blend ice cubes into lumps in the smoothie maker.
2)Peel and stone one ripe mango.
3)Blend a few slices of pineapple and the mango together.
4)Add some orange juice.
5)If you want then you can also add some low fat peach melba yoghurt.

This is a rich but comparatively healthy and deliciouse smoothie.

[view]


I was lighting a candle when I misjudged the distance from my arm to the candle. Hot wax spilled all over my pants. Does wax come out of pants? I love these pants, I hate the big wax blob on them. help me out? if you can?

It should be quite easy to remove the wax from your trousers. You need to find some absorbent paper that is reasonably strong-blotting paper would be ideal but kitchen roll would do.

Set the trousers up ready to iron and have the iron on a medium setting. Place the paper over the wax and iron on top of it. Keep the iron moving so that the paper doesn't burn. If it starts to singe easily then lower the temperature of the iron. Replace the paper when it gets too greasy.

This should melt off and remove most of the wax, if there is still a slight mark at the end then just try washing the trousers as normal.

Hope that helped,
Girlwithamansname

[view]


hey ive been wondering.. what is your name really? its a man's name? any way.. you give really good advice!

Thank you for the compliment.

My real name is Sophia, which is obviously not a mans name. However when I was signing up to Spacefem for the first time I had just acquired a new nickname-Greg. The reasons for this a complicated, convoluted and not particularly interesting but the name nevertheless stuck. Quite a few people still refer to me as Greg.

[view]


well im 13 and my sister is 15 but for some reason, evertime a guy likes her or she goes out with someone, i get really pissed off and scare the guy away. ( I even gave a guy a black eye) I know that shes gonna go out with guys, but i dont want anybody to hurt her or take advantage of her. last summer, we went to the same summer camp, and a guy liked her and thats where i punched a kid. we tell each other everything so she knows about the gfs ive had (only 2) and she didnt like my gfs either. should i give a guy a chance, and am i being too overprotective?

It's perfectly alright for you to want to protect your sister but you also need to give her some freedom. She is older that you and probably sensible enough to make her own choices.

If you think that her boyfriend is unsuitable in some way don't try and drive him off, just talk to your sister and tell her how you feel. Resorting to physical violence is extreme and unfair on the boys concerned.

It's great that the two of you are close and you should use your friendship to help each other.

Yours in honesty,
Girlwithamansname

[view]


my birhtday is in 8 days and i cant decided to have a big party or just hang out with a few friends my back yard isnt to big and i dont no where else i could do it....should i just have a few fiends or just a little party like 20 30 poeple?

It's your birthday and so you should celebrate with the people you want to be there. Don't feel pressured into inviting everyone you know unless you really want to. A relaxed and intimate party would probably be more fun and you'd get more of a chance to talk to your gueats as there would be less for you to do. also, seeing as you only have a small venue and 8 days to prepare, then a big party wouldn't exactly be the best idea.

Happy Birthday!
-Girlwithamansname

[view]



<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
humorist-workshop
eXTReMe Tracker