Hello,how are you? I hope you're fine but if you're not then just ask and I'll see what I can do.
I'm a 17 yr-old girl.I live in Wales,Britain so I'd be good for an outsider's view.I'm studying for my A-levels in History,English Lit,Media Studies and Welsh.I play the cello and I'm in a whole bunch of orchestras,and a choir or two. I'm an OXFAM volunteer and I'm looking for paid work to fund university this Autumn.

The picture on this column is obviously not a picture of me, it is my avatar from Spacefem.com.

I'm bisexual and I have a boyfriend, so questions about coming out or dating are fine by me. I live with both parents and my younger brother and sister so i know quite a lot about family dynamics.

I'm very open-minded and I'll try to answer as best I can. Basically you can ask me qestions on pretty much anything.

I hope you're all doing OK.


I dont know what to do I still like my ex-boyfriend. but he doesnt like me anymore. ever since we broke up he hasnt been talking to me. we messed around while we were going out and he told everyone at school what we did. what should i do move on or talk to him and try to get with him again?

Definitely move on. If he was insensitive enough to tell secrets and intimate details to 'everyone at school' then he does not deserve you.

You are a great person and he is not worth your time.


i was renovating my house when one of the workman found a sum of money hidden in the wall. Abou this time the previous owner of the house arrived and claimed that he "left something behind" that his late uncle left hidden of whom he inherited the house from. i claim that it is mine. the workman wont hand it over on the basis of "finders keepers". can anyone help give me advice on whom has the better right to the money?

I'm not familiar with the law concerned but your local library should have a collection of law books in the reference section.

Which country do you live in?


Hey Advice columnist i was wondering if you coud help me with a problem I have.

Okay I'm a 14 year old gurl and have had my period sence I was 12, But I have always used pads. What my question is, there really as many risks to using tampons than just pads? my mother keeps saying that they'er awful and that they can get stuck. I have done my home work and know that they'er is very slim chance of getting TSS. But what I want to know is do they really get stuck? I don't believe that they do but I'm asking this for a reason to make sure.
I'm jsut so tired when i have my period that im wet. EWWW!!! and summer will come and I can't go to pool parties with my period unless Im wearing a tampon.

They very rarely get stuck- it hasn't happened to me or anyone I know who might have told me about it in the last 8 years. The cord is sewn up the etire length of the tampon so it's not at all likely.If one does get stuck inside you then it's not a major emergency. There is nowhere for it to go and they can be quite easily removed by a doctor, it might be a little embarrassing but not dangerous.

You sound well informed and mature enough to make the decision to use tampons and its not really that big a deal so I think you should go for it.


i like this kid in my class and me and him arew friends but he doesnt like me because im not that good looking but all my friends say that if he knew me even better he would fall in love but he doesnt really socialize with girls out of class but he never does his work. i want him to like me but everytime i try i make a fool out of my self what do i do to make him like me that doesnt make a fool out of me and i dont need to change the way i look like (i dont mind changing how i look but not the whole 9 yards)

You should never change the way you look to impress a guy. NEVER!

Before I go on I would like to say one thing; Though Shalt Not Need a Boyfriend.

Just try talking to him when you see him and smile when you pass in the corrider to start with.

Then start flirting a little- ask him questions about himself and stuff he is interested in. Try not to be too obvious but remember that boys are not subtle creatures.Try talking to him about other guys you fancy or an ex-boyfriend and see how he reacts. You can bo the whole hair flippnig and lip licking thing if you want but not everyone souits that style of flirting.

How old are you and how old is he? You are school age so don't be too blatantly sexual or sensual around him because it could get messy.

Always remember-the purpose of this exercise is not to make him like you but to make him feel more comfortable about makingh amove by letting him know that you like him.

w00t and yay for you. You are a terrific and lovely person.

Good Luck!

Keep this in mind


My friend (we are in 7th grade, and we are 13) has a boyfriend thats a really bad kid. He does drugs, but she tells us that he told her he would stop. but i think that he's lying to her. She wont listen to me ahe thinks that he stopped but i know he diddnt. I just dont want her to go on the wrong path, she says she wont but i think she will. She probubly will without even knowing that.

What drugs does he do? If they are relatively harmless then I wouldn't worry too much.

You should talk to your friend and tell her that you are worried. But if she thinks he has given up then he hasn't been pressurising her to do drugs with him.

13 is quite young to be doing drugs- how old is the boyfriend?

How long is the relationship likely to last?

Is your friend usually responsible?

If you start getting really worried then talk to an adult you trust.


i am hearing things that my boyfriend is cheating on me and when i ask him he said no. what should i do? please help!!!!!!!!!

In most instances you should trust him.

Why do you think that he is cheating on you?

Do you have any proof?

Is that proof reliable?

Has he been unfaithful before?

Don't start getting paranoid and remember-thou shalt not need a boyfriend.


I'm not sure whether this beinglongs in activsm or not but I think that when the airplanes hit the twin towers on 9/11, the terroists actually thought what they were doing what the right thing to do. I know that they shouldn't have done it in such a destructive manner but isn't that what we're doing now? We're completely destroying Iraq and are we immature enough to say when we all realize that this was an idiotic thing to do, "Well, they started it!" Does anybody else agree with me?


Advicenators probably isn't the best site to ask that sort of question. Why not go to the Politics Forum at Spacefem.com


how do i ask a girl out on line

You don't.

Unless you know the girl in real life.

And in that case you ask her out in a more normal way.


I want a career in fashion but i dont know how to go about it. please help if you know anything xxx thanx xxx

Talk to your careers advisor. They should be able to help quite a lot.

What area of fashion do you want to work in. Design? Manufacture? Retail? Modelling?

You need to research differenty areas and possibly talk to someone already in the business.


Do you know of any exercises which can be done to tone your thighs which can easily be done a home?

Doggy Style!

It is the least dignified exercise there is but it works.

Go down on all fours like a dog and raise your bent leg as though you were a dog about to wee on a lampost. Repetitions of 5 sets of 10 on each leg.

Pretty much anything that means your are using your thigh muscles to support your leg will work.


i have a boyfriend well two actually the first one i live with the second one is just a guy im trying to see if him and i can work or not there are things lacking with the one i live with so im not sure about the second one but he is pushing me and he promised he would not what should i do

Firstly,don't let the second guy push you around.He broke a promise and is trying to pressurise you into doing something you're not comfortable with.

Also, don't you think that you are being a little unfair to your boyfriend? Try to figure out what you think is lacking and talk to him about it. You're living with him so you made a pretty big commitment.


Hearts and roses and kisses galore,

What the hell is all this shit for.

Poeple get mushy and start acting queer,

This is definitely the most annoying day of the year.

This day needs to be over, come and pass,

Before I shove a dozen roses up cupids ass.

I'll spend the day so drunk I can't speak,

And probably wear black the rest of the week.

Guys act all sweet but soon it will fade,

For all they are trying to do is get laid.

The arrow cupid shot at me must have not hit,

Because I think love is a big crock of shit.

So here is my story what more can I say,

Love is a bitch so fuck Valentine's Day

I know how you feel.
I think maybe you should go to Spacefem and post in the Creativity forum-it seems to me that you would like it there.


I shave my legs,
I sit down to pee.
And I can justify any,
Shopping spree.
Don't go to a barber,
But a beauty salon.
I can get a massage
Without a hard-on.
I can balance the checkbook,
I can pump my own gas.
Can talk to my friends,
about the size of my ass.
My beauty's a masterpiece,
and yes, it takes long.
At least I can admit,
To others when I'm wrong.
I don't drive in circles,
at any cost.
And I don't have a problem,
admitting I'm lost.
I never forget,
an important date.
You just gotta deal with it,
I'm usually late.
I don't watch movies,
with lots of gore.
Don't need an instant replay,
to remember the score.
I won't lose my hair,
I don't get jock itch.
And just cause I'm assertive,
Don't call me a bitch.
Don't say to your friends,
Oh yeah, I can get her.
In your dreams, my dear,
I can do better
Flowers are okay,
But jewelry's best.
Would you look at my face,
Instead of my chest
I don't have a problem,
With Expressing my feeling.
I know when ur lying,
You look at the ceiling.
Don't call me a girl,
A babe or a chick.
I am a WOMAN,
Get it, you prick?

I think maybe you should lose the text speak but otherwise it's good.


I know 69 mans something gross but what? I've aske dmy friends and they are like you don't know?? BUt then they only know its something gross too. What is it?

A 69er is when two people are giving and receiving oral sex at the same time. The name comes from the shape that the bodies make whilst it is happening.69ers can occur between same-sex partners as well, it's not limited to straight couples.


Toady I had my first kiss with my boyfriend. I guess I kinda wanted to do it but I wasn't 100% comfortable. I thought it would be really great but now I think that it was totally horrible. And to make it worse my friend got online afterwards and told his I liked it...ew. What should I do, I dont want to break up with him...maybe i do...oh i dont know! Help!

Don't worry, my first kiss was a bit of a disaster too. My no means sholud you break up with your boyfriend but maybe you should have a serious talk with the friend you mentioned.

Lots of practice would probably sort you out.Was it your boyfriend's first kiss as well? You would both have been nervous and not sure what to do-it's not suprising that it didn't go too well. Just kiss your boyfriend how you would like to be kissed back and you'll be fine.

If you can try to talk to him about it but make sure you don't upset him.


My husband and I wan tto get pregnant, we have sex biut it's very shallow. Can we still get pregnant this way?

You can get pregnant no matter how shallow but it probably wouldn't help the odds of conceiving.
You really should talk to a specialist about this.


Ok my name is Theo.Ok this is my problem.There are these kids that are teasing me and I can't do anything about it.I don't dare even to think of going to a teacher because they won't do anything.I told my mother and she said she could come and see the kids ut I don't want that because I am afraid they will hurt me(punch me etc.).So I don't know what to do.I have come to a point where I don't want to go to school .Ok I am not considering suicide because I have learned to deal with my problems and ask for advice.

I was teased a lot in junior school- I was completely ostracized. I told my parents and I told the school and it started to improve. If it comes to the worst then they could arrange for you to move schools.

Your school should have an anti-bullying policy which they can put into action if you tell them about it. It might seem pointless but you should talk to a teacher. if you tell one and nothing happens go to another or talk to your head teacher.

This might seem cliched but don't let them know that you're bothered by it. don't just ignore thembecause they'll realise what you're doing.

Also read Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card- some of the stuff that Ender uses, particularly his attitude to Bernard and Alai would be useful for you.

Tell as many people who can help you as you can-friends,family,teachers. Bullies are less likely to attack someone witha support base.


Towards the beginning of this year I was placed in the wrong lunch for me. Gah, people threw food and got out of hand and it was horrid. I decided not to change my schedule so I'd get a different lunch and delt with the task of finding another place to eat. Choice A was the art room. For some weeks I did this until my friend's moronic friend came in and, to make a long story short, ruined it for all of us. Then I began talking with my bio lab partner and he told me about the library. Even though you can't eat inside it (unless you're bookclub) it has atmosphere. I started going and doing my algebra homework and just hanging around with cool people who flock there.

Into the 2nd week or so of this I realised the shy burnette in the corner who was always silently contemplating life was my bio partner. I began to sit with him and play chess. It makes me sad to see someone without many friends in a new school. Sure, I had friends, oodles from the old school, but he was someone who had come from a low-budget school and knew 2 people at this high-school, one of which was in only one of his classes and had already "moved on", the other an acquaintance.

Soon he and I became great friends. And more people started to join he and I. One of my better friends comes in 2 or 3 times a week to study with us.

Last Thursday we had to sit on the floor in an aisle due to 2 classes havng reserved the library for 3rd hour. My lab partner, my previous friend and one person from the class which was in the library sat and had a generally great time. The night before, Wednesday, I sat up with insomnia and drew penguins. Some turned out to become valentines, one which was for the person in this post. I gave it to him and he smiled like he likes me. And I'm pretty sure he does. I think I've finally gotten under his skin. But... I do not want to be anything but friends with him. I just came from an evil relationship with someone who was originally my friend but then more. The problem is that part of me wants to be more than his friend or side-kick (as I dubbed him). I just don't know which to go with.

Can you imagine yourself kissing him? Or if you're old enough,sleeping with him?

Did your last relationship go wrong because you started out as friends or is that coincidental?

What message would your Valentine have given him?

How would you cope if it didn't work out between you?

Are you sure he likes you that way?

Do you want one bad relationship to stop you having fun in the future?


Oh my gosh!!! Do you have an accent? I think I saw you on Dismissed!! On MTV. Was that you? Please answer this!

As far as i know I have never been on MTV and I don't really know what dismissed is. I do have an accent- English with a Welsh lilt and a few American colloquialisms thrown in.Sorry.

It would be very cool to know someone offline who you met online coincidentaly (or viceversa) wouldn't it? Have you been on my column then and seen my picture. Somebody famous looks like me!

love 'Girl


So... I've been dating my boyfriend for a very long time (going on six years now), and our six year anniversary is coming up. I would like us to have sex for our anniversary. I have all the proper protection and am of proper age (late teens). I'm on the pill and have a secret stash of different kinds of condoms in my bedroom. I'm a virgin, but he's not, so he has been tested. He is clean (meaning no STD's). All good and well, yes?

No. I'm worried about what my friends will say if my boyfriend and I have sex. Should I be? I mean, of course I'm going to tell them. No way around that, because I just can't keep that kind of secret. They are the ONLY people I would ever tell, though, and I trust my boyfriend completely. But I'm just worried about what my friends will think of me. Again, should I be?

You should do what feels right for you, never mind what your friends think. You can't stay a virgin forever. It sounds like you're plenty old enough and mature enough to go through with this.

Have you spoken to him about it? Or to any of your friends?


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