Member Since: April 13, 2010
Answers: 18
Last Update: April 21, 2010
Visitors: 1258
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I am a 25 year old female. And it's this guy I've been seeing for the past month. Ok here goes... Our first time being togeather we went out to eat. And everytime following we only went to his place. We have been intimate everytime we see each other and we only see each other like at night mainly after ten at night.
I have gained really deep feelings for this guy in such a short peiord of time. I usually go over his house because he lives alone, and my aunt lives with me until she gets her own home. And when I do go over we usually watch a movie. But what I've come to notice is he don't cuddle with me during the movie he don't put his arm around me only time he wants to cuddle is mainly when we are about to have sex. And we mainly have sex after we finish watching the movie. And another thing I notice is that he shows no emotion towards me. He's always getting phone calls late at night and he runs in the room to answer the phone.
And just the other day when I was over, I forced him to have a talk with me. I asked him how he really felt about me and I told him I tiered of just having sex and I didn't want to this time. So he told me told me thathe had to meet with his brother and I had to leave. I was hurt and really confused.
And yesterday I found out my best friend of twenty years past away. And when I got the news I was over his house. He didn't confort me he didn't hold me and I was really crying... He just took me home and he still haven't call to check up on me. It's easy to just leave a guy alone that you don't really care about but... When theres feeling involved it's always so hard for me to leave. Usually their the ones who leave me and that's how I usually move on. And it's so hard right now alot of things in my life haven't been going right. What should I do? And how can I do it? (link)
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I can understand that it's hard to leave somebody. Even if you should. It's great to have somebody to be with. Based upon what you have said, it would appear that your guy is just using you for sex. Hate to be so blunt, but I would doubt your relationship with him progresses much past what it is now. Unless you are ok with the arrangement you have, I would suggest moving on. There are plenty of people out there that will treat you right, they are just harder to find.
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15/f
My friend and I are 15. She's beautiful and desperate for a boyfriend (even though she refuses that shes desperate). She is planning to lose her virginity to a guy we know soon. They aren't going out and haven't known each other for more than a year. I've told her the first time should be special and that she should be in love first. She's nervous and I know she'll regret it. What can I tell her to make her change her mind? Thanks. (link)
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You are right about her regretting it, however there is nothing you can say that will change her mind. Just try to be there for her when she needs you and trust me she will. This is a hard issue to deal with but it sounds like she has already made up her mind. Arguing or trying to change her mind will just weird her out. If you want to be a good friend just make sure she is safe. Life is about making mistakes and learning from them
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Again you give amazing advice. So what if he's not talking to me because technically he's only talked to me one day (2 days ago) since our breakup (4 months ago). As i said i asked him to contact me after he thought it over. Say he doesn't contact me should i try contacting him again in a week or few weeks? I just don't want to seem like a crazy ex girlfriend lol. I don't want to overwelm him. I was his first serious gf the guy is even still a virgin (he is quite old fashioned. I'm probabl overwhelming you even though. It's just hard to get it off my mind. (link)
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Nope not overwhelming me. If you have his address send him a letter. Write out your feelings, try to stay positive. If he is old fashioned like you say, at this point he would probably be very intimidated sexually. Especially since you say he is a "late bloomer." he is probably very unsure of himself in that department and a bit weirded out about it. Whether he admits or not. You seem like you truly care about him, so I hope I can help. Don't overpressure him, or he may withdraw. He has to feel confident with you to be with you. He will struggle the most with your differences in experience levels. Very important, never share details. If it gets to that level he will place great value and meaning on it. He wants it to mean as much to you as it does to him. Patience will be the way with him . I wish o could help you with specific things to say. Feel free to ask me any question. I will answer honestly
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18f.
So my parents are going out of state for the weekend coming up & they NEVER leave so i'm pretty excited. i want to invite this guy over, hoping things get pretty intense :) but i don't really know how to ask him. i rarely ask him to hang out .. i always let him ask me because i'm scared of rejection. i kind of want him to know that i want things to go further sexually and this would be the perfect time so when i ask do i say come over my parents are gone ;] or what would you guys do? or just say something like i'm lonely will you come over? i just wish i could hint at it instead of flat out asking him because here we go again w/me and the rejection thing. i don't know what would you guys do or say?? thanks!:) (link)
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If your guy is smart. With you saying your parents are and you want him to come over because you are scared/lonely will work. If you want a little more of a giveaway, hint at something you may or may not be wearing. He should be able to put it together. Hope this helps
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Hey. I really appreciated what you said. I'm not blonde by anymeans i know i messed up big time. He's just got my head in a loop i suppose. He even told me if i had just slept with someone and not left him he would have been able to forgive me for that because like he told me as humans its hard to not want the comfort of someones arms and the time i had to wait was a long on. YOu had said you were once in a similiar situation but you didnt go back to her. I realize as you said its hard to get past the images just thinking about it. What might have changed your mind to go back to her though? What do you think she could of said that would have made you know she was sincere and wanted to be with only you? I've told him every honest thing from my heart: that it wasnt worth loosing him; if he gave me the chance to prove myself i could prove i was sincere and faithful; that i still loved him. Then he asks me how he thought it would be if we got back together. Do you think thats a sign he still has feelings for me? I don't know how to get through to him to prove its all real and true. (link)
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In all honesty I think he does still care about you, and at least at one point cared very deeply. If he is talking to you and it's friendly talk. He's almost directly telling you that he wants to be with you but he's going to have trust issues. I don't what could have changed it for me. But he may be feeling insecure, maybe the other guy was better at this or that, or something to that effect. Guys are simple creatures. Just boost his ego, and make him confident. I promise you it's more about him questioning himself than forgiving you. He already has if he is talking to you. He just has to feel sure that he's better than that other guy. There won't be alot that words will change, but try to get him to do someting with you go out to eat or whatever. If hesitates about it or says no at first don't get discouraged. Give it time and he will come around when he sees you aren't giving up
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the other night I was with my boyfriend and we were laying on his couch watching a movie when this came to mind: we have been going out for around 6 months and haven't made out yet and we hardly ever kiss. I am the kind of girl that likes the guy to make the first move, and what I am wondering is; why is he being so cautious or as my friends say "like a freezer"? (link)
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He's nervous. Probably just not real comfortable making a move. Don't sweat it to much. He'll come around
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Every day I wake up, I have to think about a reason why not to commit suicide. I am married with children. I love my wife and my kids, but, the only reason I havent' commited suicide, is because I feel guilty about the financial burden it would cause. I have a spinal chord disease and every day is a struggle with unbearable pain and constant medication. I feel my wife is getting tired of me and my illness. My illness has caused me to lose my job and my home, I am bankrupt, I don't have a job or an income. What do I have to live for???? I just don't know what to do or what purpose there is to my life. I really wish God could just give me the strength to do it, so that I don't continue to suffer anymore. My relationship with my wife has deteriorated to the point where she doesn't respect me and, she's probably cheating on me...I wouldn't blame her if she is....Who wants to be with a cripple??? No one does. I really need to hear the right words, so that I can just get it done!!! I don't want to live anymore, but I just don't feel like I have the stregth to go through with it. I need to find a way so that I can do it without feeling guilty. Can you tell me how, please? (link)
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I'm not in much of a position to give advice, but I get where you are coming from. To answer your question, what is your reason to live? Your wife and kids are. More your kids though. I guarantee that no matter what your kids love you. You are everything to them. And if you still have them in your life you are blessed. Your kids need somebody to look up to and it's supposed to be you, set the right example because your choices will affect them the rest of their lives. I understand you have a spinal disease and I can't even imagine what that would be like. But you also have a wife, kids, a home, a job. Be strong, having a family and making them happy is worth it.
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I have a best (guy) friend i have known since elementary school. We live in Tampa fl. We are both 13 and in 7th grade. He asked me out at the beginning of 7th grade. But I didn't like him like that. But now it's near the end of 7th grade and I'm like in love with him. He knows I like him. But since we are best friends we hang out alot. I've even been inside his house. But if we go out and break up we won't be friends anymore. Because he dated a girl that he had known for a while and then they broke up over something he won't tell me about. Now they are enemies and I don't want it to turn ot that way with us. So wat should I do. I have tried so many advice columns but none replied. Pleeeeeeease help. (link)
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It is always better to risk it and be wrong than to never try and wonder.
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Well,here's the thing.I've started to feel strange around my guy best friend lately.It all started when we were at my place,he gave me a hug and I accidentally tripped when he was spinning me around,so we ended up falling,him on top of me.I was blushing furiously,and so was he.Every time he hugs me I feel this strange warmth,and today when he gazed straight into my eyes,I felt like I was going to faint and started blushing.Also,when he was hugging me before we said goodbye,I felt myself relax completely and when he let go I was angry he did.I think I'm falling for him... (link)
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You two are definitely falling for each other. I say go for it don't hold back and see what happens. That type of feeling is rare, so enjoy it.
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My boyfriend and i broke up less than 3 weeks ago.He was my first bf,and i was his first REAL gf.We were great,had so much fun all the time and he randomly broke up with me because he was "getting sick of me","wanted to be free in highschool",etc.etc.but said he wanted to stay friends.We've basically been talking again,hanging out (less than we used to) and trying to be "friends". When we hungout yesterday, we were a little drunk and he came out to me and said he likes me still and thinks about me all the time and swore that im the most amazing girl ever,but he wants to experiment with other girls and crap..which ofcourse made me mad.He kissed me and all that and held my hand ,made sure i didnt get wet out in the rain,etc.etc. but ofcourse he was kind of "drunk". We made plans to hangout today too,and ofcourse he was sober this time.We got up early and me and him just went on a cute little adventure and went to all these places.He wanted to show me his old town so we visited there and he took me to this beach he used to go to and we chilled and ate and all that.And we had to sneak into one part of the beach and he held my hand and said "lets pretend like we're a couple so we don't get caught" blah blah but after a few seconds he stopped.Then we went back to my house and watched a movie,but didn't cuddle or kiss or anything..but still had a good time.I am trying to not talk about our relationship when im with him and just be happy and have fun and just see how things go.I didn't think he'd hangout with me all day today alone if he didn't like me...and same with yesterday and i felt as though the alcohol brought out his "true " feelings (as sad as that sounds).I just like him so much and I don't know how often i should hangout with him,or what i should and shouldn't say when im with him..or what!? help! (link)
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I would advise you to move on, but I will tell you that you are right. He does like you. Enough that he can't quite let you go on his own. This type of thing will be a pattern with him. He will breakup, want you back, break up.... He probably I'd just not mature enough to be in a real relationship.
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Within the past year, my life hasn't been the greatest. A lot of things have changed dramatically after I moved to another state, and I'm just not the same person. I used to be very social and happy with myself and how life was going. Now it is the complete opposite. I find myself getting very aggrivated with family, we have money problems, im anti-social, upset, crying for no reason, and starting to develop an eating disorder. I want to be the person I was before I moved. I don't want to get angry or fight with my parents every single time they talk to me. I want to be cheerful, have a positive outlook in life, stop letting my parents make me mad, and let the little things not get to me so much. Any advice? (link)
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I know exactly what you are going through, I did several times in my life. Everytime my family got settled and I met people they would move again. My advice is to remain in touch with your old friends, they know you well and will listen. Don't get stuck on them. Try some new activities, go to events and you will start to meet people. The anger and antisocial thing are somewhat normal. Just try to think about what you say to your parents before you let it go. If you are angry with them confront it calmly and directly, they will respond to it
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Okay so im 17/f. I do think i am well educated when it comes to sex but you know how things go, we always have more to learn. Anyways, i plan on having sex with my boyfriend on....thursday,april 22! Lol all planned out. But! I started my period TODAY.
So heres some background info on my period :)
my periods technically are around the middle or end of the month. My last period happened between Feb.19-22. And my periods are usually 3-4 days. But since i ended my last period on the 22... I was able to keep my iron levels high enough to donate blood that same week on February 25. Lucky me, the blood drive kind of messes me up on my cycle so i didnt have another period till today :) soooo if i was to have my normal 3-4 day long period..which would mean i end the day BEFORE i plan to have sex..how much of a chance is there of me getting pregnant? if of course i use protection. Any advice would help. :D btw this is my first question i have asked on here, so im pretty proud of myself lol
(link)
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Just be careful, from the info you gave that time of month is when you will be most likely to be pregnant. If you go ahead make sure you use protection,specifically condomn with spermicidal lube. If it doesn't have there is still adecent chance of pregnancy
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My boyfriend broke up with me about a month ago. He was going through a depression and cut off all connections with everyone. He says he needed time alone and that he was no longer happy with anything. First he stopped talking to his best friend. Then all other friends, then he broke up with me. I tried to still be there for him and told him to call me whenever he needed me. But after a couple of weeks of roller coaster emotions and not being sure if he was going to call or not, i decided to end the whole thing. He kept telling me that he will come back one day and that I just need to be strong and move on for now. So thats what I told him that I needed to move on and not to call me anymore unless things were going to be different. he told me he didn't know if he loved me anymore. because he doesn't know how he feels about anything anymore. He said that his depression was getting worse and needed to find jesus. So we said our finally goodbyes 3 weeks ago and haven't talk since
-Other details:
we were really in love and didn't have a bad relationship. Even planned marriage
he was in a depression when we were both in freshman year. He stopped talking to all of friends then too and then later regretted it and tried to get back in contact with them a year later when we started dating.
we are both seventeen and are in our junior year of high school. We were together 9 months but have know each other for 4 years. We liked each other freshmen year but he became very depressed because he was backstabbed by his friends and his first love cheated on him. He cut off all connections with everyone at school then to. He moved schools our 10th grade year. We didnt talk all school year but I texted him out the blue during summer and we began to have a relationship. He tried to get back in contact with the friends he cut off because he regretted doing that to them.
I REALLY MISS HIM AND IN YOUR OPINION DO YOU THINK WE WILL EVER TALK AGAIN? Should I call him or should I wait for him to call me? ( i don't think he will though...thats what scares me..)
he was my best friend and i was his. We talked about everything
Please do not tell me i need to just move on. Because i am doing that. When i am ready to date again. I will do so. But I just really want him in my life again... .. do you think it would be weird if i wait a couple of weeks give him his space... then call him to check on him?
i will do anything to have him in my life again... even if its just as friends. Every night i fight myself to call him and my friends tell me he dosent care anymore. but i have a hard time taking advice from them. He hasnt called me but i do talk to his ex bestfriend (who he cut off contact with too) and he tells me to wait for him because he is going through alot right now. I just dont know what to do anymore.
& please excuse any misspelled words and my grammar I wrote this in a rush..Thank you in advanced
Additional Details
Remember he did this before with his friends then regretted it a year later? (link)
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If you care about him the way you say you do then fo not leave him alone. Call him. Do it now. Depression sucks I know that for a fact. You do not want to do anything, see or talk to anybody. You resent the fact that you are alone and yet don't want it to change. You would probably be the best thing in his life right now. He may resist, he may resist for awhile. But the truth is he needs somebody right now and it should probably be you
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I have a sadness in my heart and I don't know why I cant seem to feel more positive about myself. I wanna be a great mother to my children but fear I am not strong enough to endure all. I love them more than anything in the whole world but that just isn't enough I fear. I don't want to fail them as a mother, I want to be a better person for my partner and I feel lost because I am not happy with myself so how can I make someone else happy. I feel he does not want me anymore. I feel so judged and hate it. I am tired of being so anxious about everything I want peace of mind. Sometimes I want to just live in a bubble and never leave. Why do I feel this way? What is wrong with me? What are steps to improve myself for my family.I have no insurance and unable to seek professional help so I am turning to the web for any suggestions. Thanks (link)
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I think you are probably just insecure.
Most likely you are a great wife and mother but you just can't see it because of your low self esteem. Your husband may or may not have picked up on this, but if he has he should say encouraging things. But for it to truly work you have to be comfortable with yourself. You seem like a deeply caring person and you probably feel misunderstood. Try not to worry so much I would bet you are doing much better than you will give yourself credit for. Have a little confidence and things will change
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my question is, im going on a diet, exercising and everything and i was wondering about those low fat frozen meals. I tried the healthy choice and those are so disgusting. no flavor or anything =P do you know any good healthy meal brands??! Thanks! (link)
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Smart ones and lean cuisine are pretty decent and have the weight watcher tags on them so you know how many
points you have and whatnot. Also an alternative is schwans. They have awesome food, a diet plan called livesmart. A little pricey but very good stuff
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like i love my girlfriend with all my heart but its hard 4 me to trust her but i really do love her but anyways my girlfriend been bringing up dis new guy that goes to her school and shes like he annoying and stuff but i believe she keep thinking about him because she likes him cause like she saids he is annoying when he is not evening doing anything to her and he doesnt even talk to her so i believe she likes him but she wont tell me i ask her lots of times and she gets all mad saying i only love you and i only want you i really need some help and no disrespect but please dont say if you really love her you should believe her i cant cuz it doesnt add up :( (link)
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You are the one who would be the best judge if something is really up or not. If you are comfortable with her possibly seeing someone else then mention that to her. However I will assume you are not, because you say you love her. There probably is something extra to this guy she talks about. If there is and she truly cares about you, it will work itself out. Just be confident and don't let it shake you
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can somebody please tell me what prude means? Somebody called me a prude, and I have no idea what it means but from the way they said it I can only assume I was supposed to be insulted by it.
Thank you (link)
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Prude basically means you are uncomfortable sexually. When somebody says it to you as an insult try not to let it bother you. If they are not patient with you then forget them they are not worth your time. Hope this helps
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I met my ex online and he lives a short distance away from me. However at the time we started dating he was in the USMC stationed in CA. He came home once in the 7 months we were dating and we went out had a great time. His visit was about 3 months into our relationship. Being alone eventually got to me and I slipped up on night and ashamed of myself i did not contact him for 5 days. When i did contact him i just told him i had met someone and thought we should go our seperate ways. All the affair i had at that time was sex. Me and the guy i had a affair with started dating shortly after. Missing my ex though of course i left him not long after our relationship started. I did not contact my ex however for several weeks after i left the guy i had a affair with. when i did contact my ex he had told me he was home for good out of the USMC and i poured my heart out and was honest about everything. At one point he says that he could never trust me again (understandable) and then he asks me how he thought it would be if we got together again. I still get the feeling he still loves me. But i know i hurt him badly. Is their any advice someone could give me about proving that im as hurt as he is and i can be faithful? Which is hard because it is hard to get him to contact me back. I miss him so much.
21/female he is 23/m (link)
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Being a guy who has been in a very similar situation.
I did still care for the girl, but every time I looked at her I saw her with the other guy. I still wanted her but some images you can't get out of your head. I never could. If you really want to make it work with him, my advice would be to be open and honest, admit your faults, but never share details and if possible avoid bringing it up at all. To be honest most guys are very visual, and it may be awkward at first, but he has to have something to get that image out of his head and replace it. It sounds bad but it will probably work
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