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My friend and her love
15/f
My friend and I are 15. She's beautiful and desperate for a boyfriend (even though she refuses that shes desperate). She is planning to lose her virginity to a guy we know soon. They aren't going out and haven't known each other for more than a year. I've told her the first time should be special and that she should be in love first. She's nervous and I know she'll regret it. What can I tell her to make her change her mind? Thanks.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
You are right about her regretting it, however there is nothing you can say that will change her mind. Just try to be there for her when she needs you and trust me she will. This is a hard issue to deal with but it sounds like she has already made up her mind. Arguing or trying to change her mind will just weird her out. If you want to be a good friend just make sure she is safe. Life is about making mistakes and learning from them
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So what if you are right?
You can be right, and still be a good and respectful friend. But right now, you sound very judgement and unkind.
Look, state your opinion with love and support. Tell your friend you worry about her. Tell her you think she'd be safer and happier if she waited for a committed relationship. Say everything you need to say, and then just be her damn friend.
Listen to her. Believe what she says to you. Respect her opinion and right to choose, even if you don't agree with her opinion or her choice.
You seem to be demanding she have the exact same values as you, and that will never get you very far with anyone. You can't tell her 'it should be special' and you shouldn't tell her 'you'll regret it'. My first time wasn't with someone 'special' and no, I don't regret it. I wanted it over with, I got it over with. We were safe and it was all okay. There are perfectly sane and lovely people out there who view sex differently then you might. Those things might very true for you (they might even be true for her) but give her some respect, and listen to what she says she wants.
Be a good friend by telling her your opinions and concerns, and then taking a deep breath and listening to her. You might be absolutely right about everything, but if you are still her friend, listen to her, believe what she says and support her as best you can, even when you believe she might be making a mistake.
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Heyy there.
ok first let me say wait a go for being responsable by telling your friend that because your absolutely right.
She doesnt even know this guy and she probably isnt emotionally ready.
try to explain to her the consequence os if she goes through with it.
she will most likely feel like shit after it and regret it,she will have the bad expierience of her first time for LIFE..AND she may also get branded a slut if it got out.
unfortunately you cant make your friends decisions for her. what you can do is do your best to influence them in the right way.
Hopefully she will see sense and make the right choice.
if its the wrong one there not much you can do as if shes gonna do it shes gonna do it.
in that case at least you will know you warned her.
be there for her after if things don't go as she planned refrain from saying i told you so..as she will most likely realise her mistakes by then anyway.
i really hope it doesnt come to that,and that your friend makes the right choice.
either way your a good friend and i hope this elps! :)
much <3
Jess 16/f
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