Member Since: October 16, 2007
Answers: 16
Last Update: October 17, 2007
Visitors: 1322
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I have no christian friends, the only christians I know are adults but I cant talk to them about this because they'd all judge me for it. So I'm very happy there's someone on here who seems to be a strong follower!
Well.. its a long story.. but I would love some advice if you have time!! I just turned 17 last week, if that helps.
So, to make a long story short..i met this guy 4 years ago (he lives in another country)but all we did was talk the first time we met. We developed crushed on each other and kept in touch all throughout these four years (sending emails, poems, gifts and such)
Anyway, he's an older (MUCH more experienced guy) so to keep his interest in me: i made him all these stupid promises about things id do to him (physically) I lied about my experience and told him i did all sorts of stuff, when in reality, I hadn't even had my first kiss.
Now this summer, when we finally met.. I fell head over heals. Midnight-phone call, talk about love.. all that stuff. By the end of one day with him I knew for a fact that I would stand in front of him and take a bullet to save his life, or that I would swim across the ocean for him (NOT overexaggerating btw, I would have done anything for the guy..including marriage if he asked me to) well, it was going fine until he tried to kiss me, because I had never kissed a guy before, I was nervous and didnt want to do it (i was afraid he'd think i was bad at it..) but i ended up doing it anyways, because he kept pushing me.. and he could tell it was my first kiss.. he was like "*Sigh* you're new to this, arn't you?" and gave me this annoyed-look. So I felt embarrassed that he had seen through my lie, and lied even more - I told him I had done more than kissing (handjob, blowjob) but never actually kissed a guy.
So he spent about 2 weeks trying to get me to do things like give him a blowjob (things i would gladly do to please him since Im so obsessed with him, but was afraid to do just because I didnt want him to think I was bad at it or figure out I had never actually done it)
Every night I went home and cried because it all turned out so wrong, all my fantasuies about a romantic relationship with this guy..and all he wanted was sex.
I ended up doing things with him I really wish I hadn't. I am so hurt.. I gave him so much I wish I would have kept.
He made me feel so terrible, so heartbroken - yet I can't seem to get over him. I'd still leave my family, friends and everything I have JUST for a day with him, DESPITE the fact that he showed me time and time again he's only interested in one thing.
Now things are very bad, and I'm too afraid to turn to God, I'm too ashamed of the things I've done for this guy (which include lying, stealing, hacking, sexual activities etc)
I'm obsessed and I know its not healthy for my faith.
I dont want to feel like Im living my life for this guya nymore, I want to live my life for God, but I can't seem to do it.
WHAT SHOULD I DO? ANYTHING WILL HELP! (link)
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Break off the relationship right away. God never wanted his female sheep to be courting the wolves. Get it?
Internet relationships are risky at best because the intentions of the person on the other end might not be your expectations. I had some personal exprience with this myself. It is much better to sit down with the person that you might date and try to get to know him. Some guys are con artists and put up a goodly front but don't fall for it. The best way to get a guy to "crack" is to observe his behaviors vrs. what he says he is.
People from over in Europe tend to be an atheistic lot of hedonists and they no longer share the same moral values that most Americans take for granted. Honestly, stick with American guys who go to church on a regular basis.
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23/f
I have been with my boyfriend for 5 months. I feel very positive about our relationship now, however it has been quite rocky in the past. However, despite having had difficult times and many arguments, we have always had pretty good sex (and a lot of it). It was average at times, but at other times it was mind-blowing, better than I've ever had before.
Then the following occurred about two weeks ago:
(1) I broke up with him because I felt we argued too much and it was making us both unhappy.
(2) Four days later we were back together. We had missed each other horribly and I felt breaking up had been a mistake.
(3) Ever since, he has had BIG impotency problems. He has issues getting an erection (no matter how sexy I try to be!) and loses it very quickly when he does get it. Even handjobs and blowjobs only get him hard for a couple of seconds before he is totally soft again, so no chance of sex anytime soon (it's like playing pool with a rope, right?!)
So, I love him, and I love sex, and I want more than anything to be intimate with him, but it just isn't happening! Majorly frustrating. I questioned him about it gently and he said he has just been tired and stressed. But I find this very suspicious: his life has not changed remarkably since we first got together, and he has a very laidback job. I can only conclude that he is (a) not attracted to be anymore (he assures me this is not the case), (b) cheating on me and feels guilty thus removing his desire to have sex with me, (c) has physical problems that he should get seen to, or (d) really is stressed and tired.
I'm going out of my mind because I don't know what to do. If I talk to him about it, I think it might make him feel even worse. But if I say nothing, I'm thinking about (a) and (b) above and driving myself nuts.
Suggestions would be very much appreciated!
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1. Impotency: This is a huge hint from God that you shouldn't be having sex outside of marriage. He probably feels guilty. You should also feel guilty.
2. Real love waits. He might not be the man for you. Make friends with guys you want to be with and then date them.
3. Be careful of who you date: Some guys are thugs and some are real men. Ignore the thugs. They have nothing going for them. A real man is: 1. Making more than 20k a year.
2. A manager or other professional type.
3. A Christian and is active in his church.
The professionals aren't into the same junk the blue-collar crowd is into. (mostly)
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what do you say to someone whos crying? isnt "are you okay?" a stupid question because obviously the person is not okay otherwise they wouldnt be crying. what else can you say? to 1. a stranger 2. an acquantince (link)
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Offer to talk with him/her about the problem. You have to do this is he/she is a friend but if it's a stranger, then offer to get him/her help or a phone number they can call.
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I messed up with this guy that I was really into. It's been about a month or so since we've really, really talked. I let a friend influence me to tell him that I didn't want him calling me anymore. From the moment I said it, I've regretted it every single second. It was a lie. Tomorrow he's bringing me to work because he's going to do some work on my car while I'm at work...I told him Saturday I wanted to talk to him and if he had 15-30 minutes, I wouldn't take too much of his time. He said he was working Sunday, but he'd give me a call. He never called me. Well, I called his job today about my car and ended speaking to him and he told me instead of bringing it late today, to bring it tomorrow morning and he would drive me to work and drop me off and pick me up later. So, I want to take this opportunity to talk to him for a few minutes...how do I go about apologizing for being a complete idiot and telling him that i miss him... (link)
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Call him and tell him you miss him. (Why aren't you married yet anyway??) Anyway, if he isn't a complete jerk, just tell him that you love him and you want him back.
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15/f
my one friend, told my other friend sam that her boyfriend called her like fat. and so shes always had a low self-esteem. and i have no idea why sam would even tellh er that. and its not even true about my friend, shes tottaly average. i have no idea why her boyfriend called her fat. probably because sam said that she didnt think he was cute. but yeah. so now, sam wont eat. she hasnt eaten hardly anything. and all she does is mope around. and her grades are dropping. and i feel really bad. and i hate my friend and her boyfriend for doing this to her. i want to say something to my friend and her boyfriend. and i also wanna help my friend. but i dont know what to do. (link)
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Yeah, he needs to knock it off and leave her alone. The best thing to do in this case is to be a friend to her and send an email to him warning him that if he doesn't stop being mean to her, you'll go to his parents about it.
There is a second possibility: Sometimes when grades drop and moping occurs, it means that she was molested or raped. If she is completely withdrawing herself, then that is a HUGE sign that she was molested or is being molested. Have a heart to heart talk to her. Don't repeat anything she tells you to anyone else, keep it in complete confidence. If she is being abused, then get her to make a report to the police.
I do hope that it isn't that serious but be prepared for all possibilities.
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hey im 15, and a girl and i dont know what to dress up as for halloween.
ive never really dressed up before, but i really wanted to this year
i want something cute, maybe even hot. :)
im kinda short, with dark dark brown hair..
any ideas? (link)
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You are too old to go trick or treating. Stay home and catch up on school work or help your parents with the Candy Bowl. I actually advise that people stop doing holloween because of the sharp rise in satanic activities within the last 30 years and the fact that there are a bunch of nutcases who poison and kidnap kids out there. Holloween isn't safe anymore. Best to sit this one out. ok?
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ok. so, my friends all hate my bf, and i thought it was nothing. but, the other night, he kept making extremely rude comments about me and other people. and, he apologized L8R and everything, but i dunno. since then i've totally seen him in a different light. i've been seeing him the way my friends have. and, i mean-- we were, well-- are rlly close, and we love each other. but i think he is an ass hole now. i dunno what to do! please help me.
thank you soo much! (link)
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You are 100% correct: He is a (you know what) but most girls love that type. I have no idea why either. If you have any shred of self-respect, dump him and make friends with a thoughful and deep guy instead. The thoughtful and deep types usually become the managers of the thug types in adulthood. I also recommend to all teen girls that they delay all dating until University.
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how old do you have to be to work at target? what are some stores that hire young? like as low as 15 in a half? (link)
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You need a work permit. Don't let your future job interfere with your grades unless you really want to work for a low wage for the rest of your life. Get your dad (or mom) to get you a work permit (if they consent) Remember: The money isn't great but it's better than nothing. Store all of your money towards University. If you wish to get into sales full time, you could go to a bussiness school (after University) and actually manage a store. Cool, huh?. 99% of the time, a liberal arts degree is useless unless you plan to learn a trade or a marketable skill to go with it. If you are a Christian, then ask God for guidance or read your bible. (or both)
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Well... I came into this new high school last year, and i made some really good friends. There's this one guy in our group. Him, and another girl in our group used to go out before we all came to the high school, but they broke up. Then him and another girl in our group went out, and they lasted like half of freshmaan year. We are now in Sophomore year, and I reallly kinda like him. I don't know IF HE'S INTERESTED!! he def. flirts.... i think, but he does that with all the girls... I don't know guys are soo confusing. The problem is, the first girl he went out with, my good friend, still likes him!, even tho he don't like her. So, even if i DID go out with him, she would be wicked mad. I don't know.... i like him, and idk if he likes me. He always makes me laugh, and we make jokes together. Does he think i'm cute??? I don't know!!!!!
help :{ (link)
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Logic rules in this situation: Ask her if he's available. If he is: then your in the clear to date him. But here is my word of caution: Wait until University to date. You are still a kid and even the guys are still sorting out their feelings and learning to be men. You are still learning to be a woman. Just "push away" from the whole dating scene until a real man comes your way.(not a football player, an insightful and thoughtful type is better. The football player types beat women for fun, the thoughtful and insightful types would be glad to have you.)
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this might get a little confusing but i really need someones opinion.
okay so this kid zach likes me, but i only see him as a friend and homecoming was a couple days ago and i was dancing with him, but just as friends and he was saying how much he liked me but i told him i didnt see him as any more than a friend, so he asked me to dance the last dance with him as friends, and i said yes(turns out there wasnt even a slow dance though) and then he walked away for a while and this guy barrie come up behind me and we start dancing and then i got really tired so i sat down and barrie sat down with me and he had his arm around me and then zach walks over and seriously freaks out and makes a big scene because barrie has his arm around me and he goes off and tells all these people me and barrie are dating and barrie went and agreed, because he likes me, but i only see him as a friend to so i had to explain to all these people that im not going out with either of them, and then my EX pete IM's me and asks if me and barrie are dating and i say no, and pete was asking because that would mean we couldnt hook up anymore, because pete has a girlfriend but he wants to brake up with her( dont tell me im a slut because i hook up with someone that has a girlfriend, i dont need a lecture) but anyways so i explain it to pete and then the next day at school zach freaks out again and wont talk to me and i thought we worked everything out but now im falling my chorus class because i refuse to go in there with zach because all he does is say stupid shit like if i went to the bathroom he would be like " shes not going to the bathroom shes going to find barrie" and it just annoys me, and me and zach use to be best friends and i miss that a lot.
but then theres this other guy bryan who i kinda like and i told him and he told me all this stuff how he liked me and then the next day i find out hes going out with this girl that like ;ives in a diffrent state and he will never see and like he just completely lied to me and i dont no what to do? should i forget about bryan?
but alos theres this guy alex who i like we almost went out but i waited to long and his EX came back to him and im still not over him really, ( we kinda hooked up) and i just really like him but hes also the reason me and pete arnt together and i actually love pete a lot like more than anyone but i like a couple people to? im just so overwhelmed.
and then there is this guy richie who is really nice and stuff and i kinda like him and everyone is telling me to forget about the other guys and just try for richie but i think i put myself in a hard position with all these guys and i do realizes i lead a couple of them on.. so i guess my quesition is does anyone have any advice how i can fix this and get my life somewhat back on track so im not failing and not feeling horrible about all this drama? (link)
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Too many entanglements. It's better to be "friends first" with guys before you date them. Most girls with any brains usually put off serious dating until University. I strongly recommend that course for you. Just say to the boys: "Back off, I'm too young to date" And enjoy the free time that you have by just being friends with them and spending time with your family. (Your dad, mom and siblings, remember them?) Not only that, something in your question leads me to believe that you are on the path to finding yourself carrying a baby. Don't go there. You are wayyyy too young for that. If you are a Christian or a Jew: Then listen to your parents and your religious leaders. I also recommend you read the Gospel of John in the Bible. Salvation is the only real way to put your life back in order.
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so about a month ago my bf and i broke up. and like we were in love. but i don't know what happened :[. so ever since that ive been so sad. my heart is still broken and i TRY getting over it by having fun..but ughh idk i can't seem to get happy. then tonight i realized how pathetic my life is. theres like nothing to live for. i'm always depressed.. i have no friends anymore (because i moved) no one seems to get me:[
i don't know what to do anymore..please help (link)
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Most people treat this as a depression thing. This is an emptyness question. You are empty inside because you don't have the Holy Spirit, who will give you joy and peace. Read the Gospel of John, in the Holy Bible. The Bible is the only book in the world that is authored by a non-human source: God. He created us and he already has all the answers. He will save you from your sins and the load will "lift off your shoulders" like it did mine. I was a sinner, wandering in the darkness until He found me.
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i've tried looking through other posts about what to be for halloween but everything that everyone said is so unoriginal. i don't want to be a
-dude
-rockstar
-hannah montana
-witch
-bunny
-mouse
-cat
-dog
etc.
i want something hilarious and original. :D thanks.
13/f (link)
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13 is too old to go trick or treating. In fact, I recommend that you research the origins of this unfortunate holiday. You might find that you don't want anything to do with witchcraft or satanism. The day was celebrated by the Celts of Ancient Europe, the Druids would put out a bonfire and declare it "forever night" St. Patrick, a Christian missionary, witnessed the druids doing this and lit a fire of his own and kept it burning. That symbolized the end of satanic ceremonies in Ireland. Satanic ceremonies were swept aside and the Light of Christ reigned after the Irish left their evil religion of human sacrifice to devils and became Christians. You wonder what the link is: American holloween is a direct decendent of that dark festival. Devils still dwell in the modern day and they look for unwary people to dwell in. If you want to avoid the devils, just don't celebrate holloween, play with wegie boards and do other weird ceremonies or stuff that is evil. Turn to the Light of Jesus Christ instead of the false rewards of the evil one: like candy at Holloween.
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I hope a lot of people read this, because I need a lot of advice. My boyfriend and I have been dating for four months, and it's been the happiest four months I've had in a long time. Well, what happened, was before we started dating, him and his girlfriend at the time had just broken up. So, I'd log onto Myspace & she'd send me a bunch of crap saying how I was fat and ugly, and how I stole him from her. I ignored it. Honestly, I think she's insaneeee!
Anyways, I told Alex, my boyfriend when we first started dating, that I didn't mind if he talked to her, because I didn't want to seem possessive. But, like a week into them talking, he told me the stuff they were saying and I just told him he had to choose either her or me. I just didn't think it was fair, plus it made me really sad because she would constantly say how horrible of a person I am, to my boyfriend. So, he listened and stopped talking to her, then everything seemed okay, until..
randomly out of the blue like two weeks ago she sent him a message that says, "I miss you! I'm so sorry that I was mean to YOU! you have no idea how bad I feel. Please just talk to me." Alex said he wasn't going to respond to it, and that made me feel really good.
Yesterday, he had me log on to his e-mail account to send an e-mail to his teacher, I was bored so I clicked the "Sent" folder, and saw he had sent her an e-mail, and it said, "Hey. You've been trying to talk to me, so I'm assuming it's important. I can't talk to you on Myspace because Amy [ME] will see, so get on AIM sometime and we'll talk."
I told him I saw it, and he apologized like crazy, but I don't know, if I'm just getting mad for a stupid reason or what. I just really need to know, if I'm blowing this way out of proportion.
Even if you don't give me advice,
thanks for taking your time to read this.
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Well, he is really trying to play both sides of the fence. You don't need him. Look for a guy that is honest and thoughful. It's always advisable to be "friends first" with the guys you date because then you'll you'll find out what kind of a fellow he is. If you feel dating is getting scary, just feel free to back out of it until you are mature enough to date. In fact, I recommend it. Always share information about your life with your parents and be careful on the Net! Tons of scary felons out there. Usually most girls don't really "seriously date" anyway until they are 18+ and in a University and looking for their future husband. If you are a Christian or a Jew, then remember to follow the guidance of God (or G-d, as the Jews spell Him) through your parents or religious leaders.
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I am a middle school girl. I have a good friend. Lets call her sarah. Sarah has a boyfriend and he is new to our school this year. He told me that he liked me and i liked him to. But i dont want my friend to find out. But now he is denying that he ever said that and i dont know what to do. Sorry if this confused you. (link)
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Boys only want one thing from a relationship and it is your duty to make sure that guys don't violate your "personal space" Boys at that age have a ton of emotions and they are still too young to discern "lust" from "love". Real love is this: If you got in an accident and your boyfriend stayed by your hospital bed until you recovered, that's true love. If he was lusting, he would quickly drop you for another girl. Since you are young yet, make sure that your parents know everything about your relationships (they love you dearly and want you to be okay) and relax, make friends with the boys you know and keep them at an armslength. When I was your age, my generation never dated in Middle school, we would flirt and talk but never date. Dating is really more for 18+ young women because then there is a real reason to date: Marriage. If you are a Christian or a Jew: Follow the advice of your religious leaders and your parents.
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hey guys :) 15/f.
I'm an extremely humble person. If somebody complements me and tells me how good I played a song on a piano or something, I'll just shrug it off like "nahh..I'm not good at all. You're better than me :)" And if we were to take a test, and I got a good score, people would be like "You're so smart :O" My reaction: "No no. Hah, I'm not smart at all. :]" And when I do this, I really do mean it! I don't think I'm good at these things at all! And I don't think I should be complemented..but instead *I* should complement people.!
I really hate this. I do it EVERYYY time somebody says ANYTHING nice about me or complements me. It's not bad or anything. I mean, I'm nice to people. But...How can I overcome this stupid reaction? >_>
Thank you very much :] (link)
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You are too full of yourself: Talent lasts for a time but it soon passes away like it was never there. Thank people for their complements but remember that "Pride comes before a fall" and remember that there are kids your age whose IQ is MUCH higher than yours. Be humble and thank God for your gifts and try to help your neighbors with your gifts. If you are a Christian or a Jew, then you already know this: "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God, and thou shalt love thy neighbor you as love thyself"
Here is the bright side: You can go far with your talents. Just don't become another Paris Hilton or Brittney Spears!
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I just feel like i really am. There were a series of events that just took me out of where I use to be, and I just feel like I've changed for the better. Yet, I'm falling apart. I can't concentrate. I just want to do well in school, but I keep getting distracted because I'm sad about certain things. Another thing is that small little things annoy me, and I get all this anxiety for no reason. Can I have a little advice here please? I just want to calm down and do well in school.
Thank you (link)
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You answered your own question: You are having aniexity over something. The best way to remove the agitation is to find out why you are agitated. If it is something you can solve, then solve it. But if it is beyond your control, then (are you Christian?) pray about it to God and let Him handle the situation. Remember: Your focus determines your outcomes. If you say: "I am a quitter" then you WILL fail. But, if you say: "I am a winner" then you will succeed.
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