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I have no christian friends, the only christians I know are adults but I cant talk to them about this because they'd all judge me for it. So I'm very happy there's someone on here who seems to be a strong follower!
Well.. its a long story.. but I would love some advice if you have time!! I just turned 17 last week, if that helps.
So, to make a long story short..i met this guy 4 years ago (he lives in another country)but all we did was talk the first time we met. We developed crushed on each other and kept in touch all throughout these four years (sending emails, poems, gifts and such)
Anyway, he's an older (MUCH more experienced guy) so to keep his interest in me: i made him all these stupid promises about things id do to him (physically) I lied about my experience and told him i did all sorts of stuff, when in reality, I hadn't even had my first kiss.
Now this summer, when we finally met.. I fell head over heals. Midnight-phone call, talk about love.. all that stuff. By the end of one day with him I knew for a fact that I would stand in front of him and take a bullet to save his life, or that I would swim across the ocean for him (NOT overexaggerating btw, I would have done anything for the guy..including marriage if he asked me to) well, it was going fine until he tried to kiss me, because I had never kissed a guy before, I was nervous and didnt want to do it (i was afraid he'd think i was bad at it..) but i ended up doing it anyways, because he kept pushing me.. and he could tell it was my first kiss.. he was like "*Sigh* you're new to this, arn't you?" and gave me this annoyed-look. So I felt embarrassed that he had seen through my lie, and lied even more - I told him I had done more than kissing (handjob, blowjob) but never actually kissed a guy.
So he spent about 2 weeks trying to get me to do things like give him a blowjob (things i would gladly do to please him since Im so obsessed with him, but was afraid to do just because I didnt want him to think I was bad at it or figure out I had never actually done it)
Every night I went home and cried because it all turned out so wrong, all my fantasuies about a romantic relationship with this guy..and all he wanted was sex.
I ended up doing things with him I really wish I hadn't. I am so hurt.. I gave him so much I wish I would have kept.
He made me feel so terrible, so heartbroken - yet I can't seem to get over him. I'd still leave my family, friends and everything I have JUST for a day with him, DESPITE the fact that he showed me time and time again he's only interested in one thing.
Now things are very bad, and I'm too afraid to turn to God, I'm too ashamed of the things I've done for this guy (which include lying, stealing, hacking, sexual activities etc)
I'm obsessed and I know its not healthy for my faith.
I dont want to feel like Im living my life for this guya nymore, I want to live my life for God, but I can't seem to do it.
WHAT SHOULD I DO? ANYTHING WILL HELP!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Break off the relationship right away. God never wanted his female sheep to be courting the wolves. Get it?
Internet relationships are risky at best because the intentions of the person on the other end might not be your expectations. I had some personal exprience with this myself. It is much better to sit down with the person that you might date and try to get to know him. Some guys are con artists and put up a goodly front but don't fall for it. The best way to get a guy to "crack" is to observe his behaviors vrs. what he says he is.
People from over in Europe tend to be an atheistic lot of hedonists and they no longer share the same moral values that most Americans take for granted. Honestly, stick with American guys who go to church on a regular basis.
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