Hello...im the perfect girl to spill all your problems too. Chances are I have been through them or have gone through something similar. Trust me I kno what I am talking about. So trust me enough to spill your guts and I will give you the best advice I am capable to give.
~AdviceGirl123
Gender: Female
Member Since: September 6, 2007
Answers: 16
Last Update: September 12, 2007
Visitors: 1882
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Don't get me wrong, I love my mum and she's not a bad parent but...
Well it's just us, and she has barely any friends and no one to vent out anger onto. So when she's feeling angry (Which isn't very often don't worry) she vents it all onto me. She'll yell at me for the littliest things, ground me and send me to my room. If I try to defend myself...she hits me.
She's been angry lately and I'm scared she'll hit me. She's been saying threats like one day she'll grab ahold of my throat and won't stop until I pass out and I'm getting scared to just do anything. I get really apologetic and apologize for the littliest things.
I can't talk her out of it because any word that comes out of my mouth she yells at me and gets even angrier. She seems to think that because she's the adult and I'm the child I don't get an opinion or the right to say something.
What do I do? When I tell my dad he thinks I'm just saying it because Mum and I are in a fight. I don't trust teachers or councillors and I don't want my mum to get into trouble. (link)
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You need to tell people until someone believes you. This is not right for a parent to hit their own child but unfournately it is not uncommon either. So you are not alone. But your house is not a safe environment for you to live in. Go stay with a friend for awhile. If you feel embarresed or intimidated to tell someone that this is going on then go to your best friend and ask them if their mom or dad hits them. If they say no they should still ask you if yours do. Then this is the time for you to be brave and say yes and that you need help with it. Your mom needs help and if you confide in a friend or an adult hopefully they will be the bigger person and tell someone that can get your mom the help she needs. You need to do something even if you are scared. If she isnt going to take care of you then you should take care of yourself and tell someone.
~AdviceGirl123
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My parents completely ignore me. All the things that i do are never noticed or good enough for them. They are always too busy with work so they don't notice any of my accomplishments. Last week i tried something to get thier attention. I drastically colored my hair to see if they would notice. They said it looks ok and walked away. What can i do to get them to notice me? (link)
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You need to sit them both down and tell them that you are feeling unappreciated. Make them listen to even it means that you have to draw them a picture. Tell them that they need to work harder in making time for you. Thats what parents are for, to make you feel special. You need to tell them when you dont feel like you are getting enough attention. They might not know that you feel this way.
~AdviceGirl123
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im a 15 year old female. i think i might be pregnant but im not sure.. there is no way i can go out and get a pregnancy test. so is there any other way of telling if you are pregnant without the test?
thanks! (link)
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There are signs that you will start to see like morning sickness and either loss of appetite or increase of appetite and frequent bathroom breaks needed. But the best way to find out for sure is to get a test. You yourself dont have to go and get one. If you dont want your parents knowing right away then confide in a teacher or a school nurse that you think that you might be. You can also have a friend get you a test. If you do find out that you are you should let your mom know immediatly. I know that you will be scared but it will be worth it to know that you wont have to go through it alone. Trust me. I was 17 when I found out I was pregnant. Once I told my mom I felt a lot of stress go away. Stress is never good for when you are pregnant so dont stress about this. It will only make this process worse.
~AdviceGirl123
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I am 42 and I just recently got married to a woman I have known my entire life but we both got married to other people shortly after high school. She has three teenage daughters Sam is 19 Meagan is 18 and Audree is 16. Their father left them shortly after my wife had her youngest daughter and so she has raised them all by herself. They have always been pretty affluent because my wife's family has quite a bit of money and she is a magazine editor. She lets the girls get away with murder and they get everything rthey could possibly even dream of wanting. I have a very big issue with this since my three sons (19 18 aand 17) are expected to follow very strict rules. I was in the army for several years and my children are expected to abide by my rules or face the consequences.
The girls however are completely out of control, especially the youngest one, Audree. My wife and i both agreed on a curfew for the all six kids when they moved in. She convinced me to change the curfew of my sons to be midnight for all of the kids. I agreed but with hesitation. Like always before my kids have always gotten here on time or before their curfew while her daughters completely disregard the rules. For example, Audree was late for curfew 4 times out of the 7 days last week. My wife didn't even talk to her about it. When i confronted her al she said was "She is only 16. I think we should just let her live her life." I found out the other day that her girls have never been grounded, never had acurfew, and are very open about teh fact that they go to parties and drink. Sam has gotten in 4 accidents since she has lived here, and Meagan has her boyrfriend over all the time without supervision, all things i dont tolerate from my own kids. Audree came home in tears the other night because she got a ticket for driving 19 MILES OVER THE SPEED LIMIT! My wife just hugged her and tried to calm ehr down the entire night and i never heard a single word about the ticket, which i had to pay for sicne none of her kids have jobs. I almost feel as if she is condoning this outrageous behavior since she never repremands her kids. I don't know how to explain to my kids about thsi double standard in our house but i feel like i can't interfere quite yet with her disiplining (or lack there of)since i am not their real father and have only been in their lives for 3 years. I just don't know how much more of this disrepect i can take from them. They are beautiful girlsand i love them like my own. I wish i could treat them this way though. I feel like i owe it to them to lay down the law and punsih them for things like curfew and partying and bad grades but i dont know if it will just put more stress on our relationship that could eventually cause tension between my wife and I. How should i handle this? (link)
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Compromize with your wife. I agree with you 100% of the way. Those girls do need to be punished for the bad stuff in their lives. If they arent now then they will have a rude awakenig when they get older and find out that the world doesnt revolve around them. No 16 yearold should stay out till midnight let alone drink at parties. This kind of behavior can exploit her to sex, drugs, and stuff that will destroy her life. You are entitled to enforce rules because you are their stepfather. They should respect you even if they dont like it. They need to learn that they can not walk all over people including their own mother which it seems like they have her wrapped around their little fingers.
You need to talk to your wife and let her know that you will not go on with this "no rules" system until one of your stepdaughters gets into serious trouble. You sound like you really care about them and their well being so dont let this subject go untouched because of fear of stress. Eventually they will thank you for enforcing tough but much needed diciplin on them. You dont want them to end up like Lindsay Lohan and in rehab every two days. You need to start putting your foot down reguardless if they like it or not because someone has to be the bad guy in this situation and it just doesnt seem like your wife is going to choose to be it.
~AdviceGirl123
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My five year old son isn't interested in paying with other kids. My husband is VERY concerned. He will play with his sister and his cousins (all younger, all girls) and an occasionaly older girl who will act as a follower. My son likes to be in charge, he is the 1st born. Do you think any of theses characteristics are a sign that there is something wrong with him socially? He just seems to prefer the company of adults. (link)
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Maybe you should try to find a group that has kids in age ranging from four years old to seven year olds. Both boys and girls. Maybe you will find that he isnt used to playing with anyone else but adults and younger kids. If you keep him in this group for awhile he might start to like playing with kids his own age. If it continues after this you may want to take him to a child phycologist. The problem could be a deeper issue then you would realize.
~AdviceGirl123
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ok so im going to be 18 in like 10 days and my mom is treating me like a child i have to be in the house at night by 12 all my friends can stay out late and im the oldest one in the group its so stupid im so responsible and i get treated like im 7 what can i do to change my moms mind about me staying out late and please dont say some b.s about how i shouldnt stay out late and drink and that garbage just answer my question please.. thanksss (link)
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Well talk to her about why she doesnt think you should stay out late. Maybe there is a good reason behind it. After she gives her side then you calmly and being mature about it give her your side to why you think that you should stay out later. Dont say that all your friends get to because that will make you sound 7 years old.
Maybe even though you think that you are responsible she doesnt think that your quite there yet. This is very common with parents. They dont want to let their babies grow up. If this is the case then take some more responsibility on around the house without her asking. Dont expect her to acknowledge you either because if you do then she will think you did it so she will let you stay out late. Show her that you are mature and can handle more responsibility.
~AdviceGirl123
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sorry for making this long
ok my older sister is married and has two kids which makes them my neice and nephew and i've never even got to meet them my nephew is almost two and yeha i really want to see my sister and my brother-in-law and my neice and nephew i havent seen my sister or brother-in-law in like 2 or 3 maybe even almost 4 years well they live in Hawaii and i live in Wisconsin but she always takes time to go to texas or california to see my brother-in-laws family we've asked her to come ou here but she always goes to texas or something how can i make it clear that i want to see her i mean we've all told her we want to see her you know but she doesnt listen and doesnt get that me and my other sister nad my mom and dad and grandma miss her now my mom has got to see her like 3 times cause she's flown out there my grandma spent like 3 months there and my dad has seen them two me and my sister are the only ones who havent seen them and me and my sister used to be kinda close i mean we had lots of fun together she would take us to the pool or go iceskating or stuff like that and we would just like dance to music and stuff but since she got married and stuff we havent done anything like that and i really miss her but i dont know why but i cant be like emotional with my family it's just kinda weir but i want to make it clear to her that i miss her and that i wanna see her and that i'm mad at her for always seeing by brother-in-laws family (link)
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Well you can simply tell her that you miss her and want to see her. Let her know that she is a big part of your life and it seems pretty empty when you dont see her. Maybe she will start to understand. I have a younger sister and I had no idea how big of impact I have towards her and that sometimes she just wants me to spend a whole day with her. Tell her that it is also important that you see your niece and nephew. They are part of your family and you want to share your love with them. If you want you can even plan a date for her to come see you. Search for a plane ticket for her. If you actually take part in trying to get her to come see you then maybe she will realize that she is wanted there.
~AdviceGirl123
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My boyfriend who I loved just broke up with me.
But the thing is he broke up with me for no good reason. He told my best friend that he thought it was time. But I don't really understand that. We had an amazing date like 3 days ago, and we both had a ton of fun, and he seemed like everything was normal, he kept kissing me and all that normal stuff. But just last night he broke up with me. But the thing is we have only been going out for two months and in his grade (he's older) apparently it's not cool for a guy to be in a relationship for more then 2 months. My friend also asked him if I did anything wrong, and my ex told her to tell me that I didn't do anything wrong. He really hurt me, and i haven't stopped crying. I don't know what to do. I don't think I ever want to date someone again. I only want the guy that broke up with me, and I believe I always will.
Can you explain to me why he broke up with me?? And what I can to do stop feeling so lousy??
HELP!!! (link)
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No one can ever explain why guys do what they do. If I could then I would be richer than Bill Gates. But I can tell you that if he goes by what his friends say is "uncool" and just ups and breaks up with you then he is not worth it. Breaking up is always hard and the first thing you need to do is take a whole day to yourself. Rent your favorite movies and lounge around all day eating your favorite junk foods. Then you need to plan a day with your friends and hang with them all day without talking about relationships. Then you need to write down everything you liked and disliked about your ex. After you have everything written down rip the paper up and never read it again. Eventually you will want to date again even though it seems like the world is coming to an end right now. It is good to vent to people about how you miss him but do it for only two days max. After the two days are up you are not to mention that you miss him ever again. Before you know it you will feel so much better and may even start to look for a new guy but dont date him right away. Start by being friends then slowly break into the dating period. You want to give yourself enough time to heal otherwise you will soon find yourself picking out everything that your new guy does wrong and compare him to your ex. That will drive your new guy away and will leave you with more pain.
~AdviceGirl123
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i like this guy
and i havent ruined it with him yet.
hes in one of my classes but i see him alot
i guess ive known him longer then i remember
because he remembered me
but what can i do to get his attention
letting him know that im available
nothing too big to show him that im in love with him
witch is frankly not true
just little things here and there
thanks so much (link)
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The little things like commenting on what he is wearing (I know sounds girlish but guys love it). You can laugh at his jokes and funny stuff that he says. Dont hover (always be around him) because then he will think that you are trying to hard and most guys dont like that. Guys also like when you ask them what they are into or how their weekend went.
~AdviceGirl123
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16/F
Hi, I live in Erie PA and I have my whole life. The company my dad works for is currently going down the tubes, and he said there is a chance we're going to have to move sometime soon. I'm really nervous and sad about that, all my friends are here and this place is all I've ever known. Has anybody ever gone through this and has some vaild advice for me? And also, if you live near or have been to Soddy-Daisy Tennesse, whats it like? That's probably where I'll be going. (link)
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Well I had to move when I was younger so I probally didnt have it as tough but you will get through it. It will be hard in the beginning but soon you will make new friends and they will make it easier for you. You can always keep in touch with your old friends. Like the song goes "Make new friends but keep the old..." So dont worry you will live through this and in the end maybe you will like that you had to move.
~AdviceGirl123
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I got this relatioship with a boy since last October and we have been going out almost every single day since then. Only one day we did NOT go out last week, and he brought another girl to sleep over. She used to be his ex girlfriend.
He sais that nothing happened but I dont believe him. He admited himself that she slept over.
Can you help me if its the truth, or just half the truth.
Thanks.
(link)
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If he said nothing happened then you need to trust him. You cant have a relationship with someone without trust. If this bugs you that the other girl stayed the night then tell him so you can talk about it with him. Maybe you will find that there is a deeper issue then you not believing him that you have not yet discovered.
~AdviceGirl123
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Ohkay, So at the beginning of my freshman year, [i'm a sophmore now] i became really close with a boy in my biology class. he was my BEST FRIEND. around march, we started dating, because we were absolutly crazy about eachother. we're still dating now, but..he moved to minnesota. i didn't think doing a long distance realationship would be bad, since we were dating about five months before he left. but i just feel like i'm holding him back, from, dating other people, or meeting other people. hes absolutly sure that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. but the other night he told me that hes terrified of losing me, that hes afraid someone else will come along and make me feel the same way he does. i know thats not true at all. but should i still be with him? should i wait til we're older and able to be together, not just "dating together" but physically together, with eachother all the time?
i don't know, i've just really been thinking about it lately. hes the most important thing in my life, and don't doubt it when i say i love him. because i do. i thought i loved other guys before, but it was nothing like this is for me. its the best feeling in the world. i just want to know if i'm doing the right thing by staying with him.. (link)
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OK first of all, long distant relationships can be very tricky. If you feel like you are holding him back then maybe you should wait till you are older. Your both young and should explore the world before you decide to settle down. If you truly do love eachother then you will be together when you are older, but until then you both need to experiment with life before you can say that you found the one. As for him feeling like he is going to lose you is one sign that he needs to get to know other people. If you put your whole world around one person you miss everything that you may need later in life. Im not saying that you two should date other people unless you feel the need to. Im saying that you need to experience life right now because it will be harder when you get older to get away with half the stuff you can now.
~AdviceGirl123
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Ok, i have a problem with my ex boyfriend (Jeremy) Last year we dated for 5 months and then i dumped him for this other guy. We didnt talk this summer because we kinda had a fight. Then this year on the first day of school he was in 2 of my classes! After the 2nd class i asked him if i could call him and he said yeah and we talked a little bit. After that I thought it would be fine but boy was i wrong. Then (of course!!!) I was in a group with my friend, a girl i didn't know, HIM, and his other ex girlfriend who hates my guts! She and i have PE and hon. biology together (Hon. bio is what i hav with both Jeremy and his other ex, Miranda) She hates me because he dated me last year when she liked him still from the previosu year. Anyway we have extra lab periods when we do labs and stuff and when I work with him i get super stressed out and get really mad at him! I don't know why but he just frusterates me SO MUCH! On the first day i wanted to cry when he showed up in my classes and was super stressed and today after getting together (the whole group) in study hall to assign jobs for the lab report I got so stressed out w/him i was just like ok does everyone know what they're doing? good cause im leaving! And i left. Miranda (the ex) and i talked because i said "i know u dont like me but..." and she said" i thought it was the other way around-i thought u didnt like me!?" and i said "no i don't have a prob with u" and she said same so i guess we have a truce or whatever. i never hated he and actually think she's pretty nice but i know she used to hate me even if she doesn't anymore. My main question tho is why do i get so stressed when i work with him and how can i change it??? Last year we never had classes together so this is a first but i get so mad i want to cry or scream or sumthing and this isn't gonna work with me like that everyday! No way! Please tell me how to chill out!!!!! And sorry this is sooo long! I rate too!!! :D (link)
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OK first of all you need to breath. I had the same problem except i dated him for three in a half years. I would get stressed with him because for some reason I would always think about the mean stuff he said about me or all the fights we got into in the past. So chances are its not that he stresses you out, its your past with him that stresses you out. You may not know it but if you really think about it you will see that the past comes up whether you want it to or not. So maybe you and him need to have some one on one time and try to resolve something that happened in the past. Lets say he said something to you and you didnt think that it would bug you but you can ask why he said it. Maybe you will feel better if you try and resolve some past fights with him. And remember to breath.
~AdviceGirl123
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i feel like my life is slipping away because im always trying to find a girlfriend that will last more then a week, but everything falls through. i keep thinking that if i dont make memories now then when im old i wont have anything and ultimately end up commiting suicide (link)
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Slow down. You will find the right girl you just have to get through all the wrong ones. You are making memories with the girls you have dated. When you find the one and you two grow old together these "weekly girls" will be the thing to talk about to make you laugh. Dont think about commiting suicide because then you will never find the one. How do you think she will feel because if your not there then she will end up alone. I know times are tough because you want to have a relationship but you have to get through this and you will. You are not the only one in the world that feels like this. I feel this way sometimes too. Just slow down and let yourself breath and before you know it she will be walking your way.
~AdviceGirl123
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I need hekp to try and get a boyfrined or at least to get a boy to like me. I always see questions that girls ask about tips on flirting or getting a boyfriend; I also try to use the advice, but it just never works! I'm generally very confident and talkative, but guys still don't like me. Does the fact that I talk a lot make me come off too strong? I just want to know, are there does anyone have any tips on how to be better with guys, aside from the general "be confident?" I'm in highschool, by the way. (link)
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Who put it in your mind that you need a guy in your life? Guys, especially ones that are in highschool, dont know what they want. My advice to you is take advantage of having friends that are guys. If you are not satisfied with them just as friends then try to find a guy that you have a lot in common with. They usually work best for us girls because there will be a lot less drama. Being confindent in urself and being concieted have a fine line between them so be careful with that.
-AdviceGirl123
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So i am dating this guy and he tries to control everything about me. I really like him i just hate that he tries to control me. What should i do?
~Uncontrolable (link)
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Tell him that you dont like to be told what to do because you are not his pet. If he doesnt want to change the fact that he controls you then you two are not meant to be. You shouldnt lower yourself for people. The relationship will never give you what you need from it.
-AdviceGirl123
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