ADViCELOLA's advice column

askADViCELOLA

advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: Last night I had a horrible dream. In my dream, my boyfriend left me for my best friend. We got into a little argument, he broke up with me and started dating her. I was heartbroken. I couldn't sleep after I woke up. It is really bothering me. I like this guy so much and I don't want him leaving me for someone else especially my best friend. What could this dream mean if it means anything?

I really wouldn`t think much of it. I have bad dreams all the time, and I don`t think it affects on anything. So don`t worry about it :)

Q: I'm not sure what should I do so I come to you guys. I'm going to take a poll so I have a better way to do it or not.

My sister just began to drive (she's 17) and she broke a law. For the first 6 months, she shouldn't have anyone in the car except herself and a sibling (that's me). She took some people to Dairy Queen (less than a mile far...you could walk there) from school. She does colorguard and thought it won't hurt. She didn't just break my mom's law, she broke the actual law.
Should I:

A. Let her go and if she breaks a law again and gets caught, it's her fault.
B. Tell my mom that she did it and she might get her keys tooken away, but maybe she'll think again...maybe.

If you have any more things I could do, do tell. And why should I do it?

Thanks!

Well I would choose A. It`s not good to rat your sister out, i know how that feels, but i do understand where you`re coming from. Just tell your sister, that it`s not right, and she can get in big trouble for it, and if she doensn`t listen, then tell your mom.

Q: ok well my exboyfriend and i have been writing alot of notes to eachother and we were cool but someone told him that i was saying shit about him and i wasn't and now even his friends are being mean to me and they're saying stuff like im ugly and they're just being mean to me.. and i never even said anything about him so what should i do?

Stand up for yourself, and tell them it`s not true. If he`s not a jerk he`ll believe you. I mean isn`t it obvious to him and his friends that if you`re still cool with him why would you talk shit about him. Well just tell that to him and his friends, because rumors spread around quick. Good-Luck

Q: Ok I love guys. I have plenty of guy friends but whenever a guy shows intrest in me or hints he wants to go out some time I totally head for the other direction. I start to ignore him and stop talking to him. I don't know how to become more open and I am only really open when I'm around my friends. I don't know how to change this and not be so afraid anymore. I mean he trys talking to me and getting me into conversations but i don't know how to respond. someone please help me

I know how you feel, but don`t be sacred, if he likes you or hints that he does, than you have nothing to be afraid of. It seems like you try to go around the bush, is there any reason that you can`t open up to guys? If so, you should just try not to be nervous, and flirt around a little bit, therefore, the guy will probably like you more :) Hope this helps, just remember to stay calm, and think before you say something.

Q: Ok so this is really a question but also advice.
So there’s this boy in my Church group and I think he likes me but I’m not sure.
This one time (the first time I laid eyes on him) he kept smiling at me. And even when he knew I was looking he was still smiling for a few moments and I did too. But then looked away. Then later he asked if he could trade spots with the guy next to me so he could “talk to the other guy next to him” the guy said no though. But anyway, today I came in and I all the seats were rounded in a circle and so I walked in and there was a seat right infrount of me. It looked like all the other seats were taken. And it was right by him. I don’t know if he was saving a seat for me because his stuff was there and he moved them when he saw me come in. But I’m not sure. So then I sat down. And he actually started talking to me. and he asked me "Is that liipgloss?" he was mentining my keychain that had lipgloss on it. and I answered "Maaaabey" beacuse I thought yes sounded to cheesy and no sounded well rude and whatever. he smiled and said "can I use some? I need some" he said joking ly. He was smiling I could tell he was joking.so I'm like "yea...sure!" I said sarcasticly with a smile. at that moment I liked him. also his full attenetion was on me smiling. Then the teacher told me I got to go o the trip friady. "your going?" he asked. then said cool. he put his hand up for a high five So i highfived him. He asked me questions and asked if he could see my phone. Then I cought him once or twice lookling at me. And I’m not sure but I THINK I saw him put his foot near mine. But I was looking up, but I think I saw it at the end of my eye but I’m not sure. So mabee that doesn’t count.later when I was bored I forgot about the lipgloss convo and put some on. "So it is lipgloss!" he said jokeingly. I smiled. " you know I still need some." he said then laughed. I laughed too. So does he like me???

that sure seems like it. it souds like there was a lot of flirting going on. i think that he does like, but just to know for sure, keep talking to him, but don`t make it obvious that you like him. seriously it really does sound like he likes you. go for it girl.

Q: how do you explain to a kid their pet died?

they went to live on a farm with all the other pets?

just say they`re in a better place now, and they`ll be back soon :)

Q: I basically had no clue what to put this question under, but here it is.

I'm 14 years old & I've been drunk 3 times.
I'm not a bad drunk at all.
I'm a person who's wound up pretty tight & I use alchohol to do things I don't even think about doing unless I'm drunk. Not that it's bad I just don't have the guts to do anything.
I guess I'm asking if this is a bad thing.
I mean, am I like, sinning or anything?
I'm not that religious but I'm still nervous.
I only drink around family, I wouldn't think of doing it around anyone else.
And if it is bad... how can I stop?
I don't really even like alcohol, I like the effect.

Thank you.

it is bad ton start drinking at a young age, becuz then you get too caught up with it. it`s okay to drink occasionally, but you have to learn not to get drunk. my uncle started drinking young, and he`s been having drinking problems for a long long time now. his girlfriend has been with him for like 8 years, she`s stuck with him, even tho he was acting bad and treating her wrong, she always took him back. well my point is, now he`sm in rehab, and hopefully that will help. drinking is very bad, unless you know how to control it. either way you shouldn`t drink especially if you don`t even like it that much.

Q: ok i am 14 and a female and i am dating a 16 year old he is very nice and we have been going out for 3 weeks i have known him for like 2 years and he is one of my best friends brothers and all my friends are kool with it and everything but ok i have made a decision that if we are together for a while i am probably gonna give it up to him if u no wat i mean so ya but he said that he doesnt want to do it til im ready

(this isnt really a questions its more like i just want an answer on wat you think about this please right bak

it`s good that he`s willing to wait, but don`t rush it, because you might regret it. you should really see how things are going with him and if you truly positively absolutely trust him, then you should consider giving it up to him.

Q: my mom is having her 29th birthday and ma bff invited me to the ross game and then go to the haunted hydro so wut should i do i think that i should go to ma moms b-day and then go to the hydro so wut should i do ?????????????

you should make like a little time plan, first go to your mom`s party, and then try to squeeze in the other stuff, that`s what i would do.

Q: everytime i watch the movie thirteen my vagina starts like pounding. its really wierd. whats going on?

umm, sounds like you got horny. it`s natural, don`t worry

Q: I don't know why, but small noises (such as people smacking their lips when they eat, or someone breathing heavily) make me really annoyed. I can't talk to anyone if they are doing something like that, because I can't concentrate. Can someone tell me what's going on??

14/f

you might have O.C.D (obsessice complusive disorder) There`s nothing wrong with that, it just means little things bother you. Actually i think i might have that too, and my friend has it, but it doesn`t mean theres anything wrong with you. I get annoyed by people doing that too. Don`t worry, you might not even have it. People with O.C.D get annoyed by every little thing, like if they see something on the floor they have to pick it up, and if they don`t they`ll go back to pick it up. That`s how i am.

Q: i'm skiiny but not annerexcic...i promise...i eat alot and i never get full and i can't help it...i can eat a meal be full for 10 seconds then get hunry again..well..not hungry but not full...i don't know why..and while eating i don't gain much weight eitheer...i want gqain arm waeight...if you look at me i'm good skinny..like healthy skinny...but my arms are long and look annerexic...

i'm 14/f and i'm 100 lbs...

do people think i'm anneraxic??...how do you gain arm weight??

you`re not anorexic, you just have a really fast metabolism. at 14 i was a 100 pounds too. my sister is 12 about to be 13 and she weighs about 75 pounds. I`m not sure how you can gain arm weight though, sorry

Q: ok well my brother says he can get on my windows xp name without knowing my password. can he really do that? if so, how?

no, i don`t think so, my sister has a password on her laptop, and there`s no way i can get in. Unless he knows your password, he can`t go on your user account.

Q: OK, I wasn't exactly sure where to put this, but, I just have a quick question. I work in food service, so, I have to have my hair up the whole time. Well, tomorrow I have somewhere to go right after work, so, I will basically be doing the "quick pick me upper" thing in the bathroom before I get off. I was just wandering, how can I get rid of my pony tail bump fast before I even leave work? It is a hugh bump that I can't just brush down. Any ideas? Thanks.

Just don`t tie your hair hard. Make sure it`s not too loose that it falls off, but just don`t make it tight, that won`t make a bump.

Q: what do i do if my best is always braging about what she has and i dont have nothing so what do i do how do i tell her i dont wont to be friends

Well i`d probably tell her that i don`t feel comfortable with her talking about that. Maybe she will understand and if she doesn`t just tell her you guys can`t be friends, because she makes you feel mad and uncomfortable.

Q: okay.. i really need help. i have REALLY STRAIGHT HAIR, and ive tried soo many thiungs to get it to scrunch. what are the best ways to scrunch hair. i dont want any products that can damage my hair. please help. thanks so much

I just did that hairstyle yesterday, and first after i wash my hair i comb it/brush it and start scrunching it, then i put gel (l.a. looks) and started scrunching it more, then i put mousse (tresemme) andscrunched it more, and then i put a lot of hairspray so that it could stay. Some people also use a diffuser blow dryer, i don`t know if you know what that means, but i don`t have that, so i don`t blow dry it at all, because heat can damage your hair.

Q: I smoke cigerettes.. Andd i need to quit but i need an easy way to do it!

Well for me smoking is a huge turn-off, but that`s not the question you asked. Well I say you find some social groups with people dealing with the same problem. You can search it up online, and see how people quit smoking. My dad used to smoke, and he quit a long time ago. You really have to think about your health, and I don`t smoke, so I can`t really relate to you. I can`t tell you it`s going to be easy, because then I would be lieng. There`s no easy way of quitting, because once you start it`s addicting. Try finiding hobbies you like doing, and that will get your mind off of smoking. I really wish I can say more, but that`s all I can think of. Good-Luck

Q: HEY PEOPLE =D

okay this might seem corny..
because it is. haha. but that's okay.

3 years ago, i took part in a "all around the world project" meaning my group had 21 teenagers from europe coming to our scool for 1 week, and we kinda took care of them.. it was fun, and needles to say..there was a bunch of one-week romances.. here's the thing, i had this crush on one of the guys, we had fun while he was here, but when he left, we never kept in touch.. never emailed or anything, even though i have his email. i recently remembered him, and started missing him (even though we were neverclose, never kissed, admitted our feelings or anything.. we were just friends for a week basically) anyway, i want to keep in touch with him! even though im over that little crush, cause i'll never see him again! i want to start emailing with him or something..

here's the thing though, we havn't spoken for THREE WHOLE YEARS! so what do i do?
i was thinking of sending one of those e-cards that says "i miss keeping in touch with you" or something, or maybe just emailing and saying "hey what's up? i saw you online the other day, and thought about you today..and realized...." (whatever) you know? but thats gonna be so awkward! then again, i have nothing to lose do i?

help please? any suggestions?

my friend had one-- but idk, she said "create two fake accounts, then wite to him + th two fake accounts and say "hey guys, you three - i hvnt spoken to you in forever, and i was deleting people from my msn, people i dont talk to, but for some reason i couldnt get myself to delete the three of you.. so i just wanted to tell you that. haha" orsomething like that..
does that sound like a good idea to you?

thxxx

Well if you haven`t talked to him for so long, I`m sure he won`t mind talking to you. You said you had his e-mail, did he have yours? Bceause if not, maybe he wanted to e-mail you too. It`s always worth a shot, and hey you have nothing to lose.

Q: Okay, theres this guy on my swim team that I really like and I've known for four years. He's sweet and he's athletic and he's single. But, he's 2years older then me and we barely know each other. Most of what I know I got from a nuetral friend or the few conversations we've had. But, this summer I've got to know him alittle better annd I like him alot. But, he goes to a different school, and we dont have any of the same friends, so I have no excuse to talk to him. I dont know what to do. Any advice to get to know him better or win him over?

Thanks :)

Just keep trying to talk to him. I mean if you like him that much then I`m sure you too will have something in common. Also 2 years is not that much older. My dad is 10 1/2 years older than my mom, YES I know it`s freaky, lol. But just try starting a conversation with him, about anything (movies, music, school) You never know, because maybe he likes you too :)

Q: How do I get over being as self concious as I am? It's like I refuse to sign up for all the homecoming events or dance at the pep rallies. I'm really not a shy person, just a little unsure of myself. I constantly tell myself to stop caring, but at times I feel like I look majorly stupid. I usually could act like I'm fearless, but I'm tired of acting. I really want to be secure with all of my actions!! Is there any piece of advice that I could replay in my head that would make me stop with the concern?

Sometimes I feel just like you do. But I always tell myself that it`s okay to be myself. There are many people who would like you for who you are and you have to always keep that in mind. Just gain confidence for yourself. Don`t put yourself down, because this is who are this is who you`ve been and this is who you will be. It`s a matter of learning to love yourself befor others can love you :)

bio

WELL BASiCALLY, iM JUSt A REGULAR GiRL AND i LiKE t0 HELP PE0PLE 0Ut WiTH THEiR PROBLEMS. i AM VERY UNDERSTANDiNG AND i W0N`T JUDGE Y0U, iLL JUSt HELP tRY t0 SOLVE Y0UR PROBLEM.