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Q: I love writing, it's my biggest passion and I do it from the time I get home till I go to bed, so my life basically revolves around it. Well, I also recently joined Drama Club as I've NEVER been in a club before. I am also being forced to take drivers' ed since my dad is leaving us soon and we need a way to get to school. No, I don't like taking drivers' ed as it interferes with my writing and club time as well as getting a life by TRYING to be social. I don't want my license at all, big waste of time. I don't really wanna go on with that bit, but I'm also getting annoyed that I have to try harder in school. I actually have an A this trimester and worked really hard for it, but of course, leave it to my parents to push me for a HIGHER A, which makes no sense. I'm also having problems with communication with my boyfriend.
I also wrote a paper for a class and I mentioned suicide, you know, since it's been all over the news. The teacher took it to the office and told my parents that I might be considering it, but I actually laughed when the counselor mentioned it because I had never once thought of suicide... Well, until today. All this stuff is stressing me out and I hate it and seriously, the thought crossed my mind when I passed the medicine cabinet. I really don't want to do it and I'm a big coward, so I probably won't, but I really don't like the thoughts of giving up running through my head and making me flat out depressed. I'm sixteen, by the way, if that helps any... But, can anyone tell me what to do?

I have to be honest with you, I read the title of your blog and expected to read something very traumatic in your question...but by the time I was done reading your question I was just appalled. Nothing you mentioned is SO TERRIBLE that its even worth THINKING about suicide. I was your age just a few years ago and I went through SO MANY things that were 10 times more terrible than what you are going through. I was very abused as a child and moved around a lot. My parents were dirt poor and didn't really care about me, and didn't take care of me at all....then in High School 5 of my friend DIED. All at different times. I had to go to a lot of funerals and nothing is more "depressing" than watching a young person die. I hope that you realize that I am trying to give you the best advice that I can, even if it sounds harsh. The world outside of high school is SO MUCH HARDER than what you are going through now. You like to write?? AWESOME! Do it on your free time. Getting a drivers license is something that you are going to HAVE to get. Having the ability to drive is amazing. If something is going on in the house and you feel like you need to get away, you can. You aren't going to be able to bum rides off of people forever.

You need to start looking at what steps you are going to take to begin your future after high school. And in this economy, things are really rough for entry level people out there. I know you are only 16, but high school goes by quicker than you think.

I could go on and on as to why you shouldnt hurt yourself. It truly is the cowards way out. So my best advice is to suck it up and realize that what you are going through is not actually that bad. Optimism is the best medicine for making it through your teenage years. And I promise you that. I recently started a blog to help young adults take charge of their lives...the link is:

www.stephaniemorris.blog.com

steph

Q: hi im a 19/f and i recently hooked up with a guy and we did anal & oral sex. now im scared i might have gotten something from him. he had a baby 6 months ago and im not sure if he's done anything with anyone during that period of time. i got tested today for HIV gonorrhea, and syphilis. I can't believe after all that i've been through i still do this stuff. this same thing happened to me almost 2 years ago and i've been seeing a therapist since, but for some reason i feel like i haven't changed. Now im really miserable and terrified, and i feel like crying all the time because my parents don't know & their always telling me im such a good daughter & i know that im not because i keep making these stupid mistakes. i feel horrible. and even my therapist tells me not to tell my parents because the last time i told them i had sex with a guy they got really angry. i told my dad and he beat me up. but i got lucky and didn't get pregnant or any disease. so yeah and im 19 now. im so stupid and i just feel like killing myself. help me please :(

Hey there,

Firstly, nothing in this world is worth taking your life over. We all make mistakes when we are young and although it may take years, eventually, you will learn from those mistakes. You are 19 and I promise you hormones has alot to do with your promiscuity. I think deep down you have some insicurities that cause you to seek attention from men. I know this because I was there myself just a year ago. Im only 20 now and last year was a dark year for me. Ive tried therapy too but it doesnt always help.

your parents are right, they do have a good daughter. The reason I say that is because you obviously feel guilty about your behavior. That makes you human and a good person. If you had no guilt and didnt care about your behavior, then THAT would be an issue.

The only way to pull out of this behavior is to start with yourself. I know it sounds a little crazy, but you need to start loving yourself. There has to be something that you can do to make your outlook on life better. Once you are happier with life, you can start forgiving yourself. Dont subject yourself to sexual encounters with strangers. You deserve better than that.

I would like you to email me if you want to talk. I have been in your place before, and I have also helped several friends get through these tough times. Heres my email. Let me know if you need anything or just want to talk.

Stephanie.ellick@gmail.com

steph 20/f

Q: hey.. so im 16f and wanting some advice on a guy and sex.. so ive known this guy, lets call him john, for a while and we've liked eachother on and off,we havnt talked alot he moved and cuz i started talking to one of his friends which i still am. but me and john want to hangout soon and first im debating on wether i should or not.. me and him always had the emotional aspect of a relationship but we never experienced the physical with eachother. so i know if we hangout we're going to get physical, and i want to have sex with this guy but i cant, im a virgin and i dont want to be that easy and other reasons, so how do i know when were about to have sex..? like are there specific things that he will do that shows like hes ready to have sex. and when we are about to, how can i stop that from happening without like crushing him and killing the moment? lol. other than that i want to get physical with him, just NOT regular sex.

First of all, I am very impressed that you are proud of your viginity and arent wanting to lose it so fast. That good keep that up!

Now, Its completely fine if you want to spend time with this guy, but just make sure you dont let anything happen unless you want it to.

teenage boys usually cant control themselves and will try to force you into sex or make you feel guilty and give in. dont let that happen!

getting physical is OK but when he starts trying to take your clothes off and tries to start sex, get up and tell him that you dont mind getting physical with him but sex is out of the question for now. Advise him that its not about him, its just that you are not ready to give up your viginity, which is your precious gift. If he really cares about you, he will understand and not push you too far.

good luck girl! let me know if you need anything else!

Stephanie 21/f

Q: I know this isn't about sex but i didn't no what to put it under lol.

So I think Obama should have never became president
I think hi is an idiot.

So i want to know people who did vote for him why you did what were your reasons?
Cause if you think hes ganna pay for your bills and provide for you hes not.

I just wanna know everyones reason for why they voted for him or why you didn't vote for him.
Also a lot of people including me, Think he manly won cause he is black and i think if that is true witch i think it is i think thats wrong.
My resons are because I think racism is wrong and if people vote for him only because he's black just means your being racist. Now you might note be but your basing your decision on the color of his skin i and i think thats horriable.
I bet if he was a white man he would not of one or he wouldn't of one for the reasons he did.

PLEASE DO NOT TAKE THIS OVENSIVLY IM JUST SPREEDING MY OPINION ON WHAT I BELIEVIE AND I WANT TO KNOW WHAT PEOPLE BELIEVE OR THINK.

Make sure next time you ask a question, you spell check yourself. its not that big of a deal but I have to say people get really annoyed when they constantly have to read spelling errors.

Now, to answer your question.

I voted for Obama AND I will again if he re-runs in 2012.

I am a white female, so dont think for a second that rce had anything to do with my decision. You say people who voted for Obama JUST because he is black is racist....WELL, if people voted for McCain JUST BECAUSE they didnt want a black president is being racist as well! is it not?

Did you actually watch any of the presidential debates? Did you research any of their campaign bulletins or rallies? If you DIDNT, how can YOU form an opinion at all????

People under the age of 18 should NOT be able to vote. I personally dont think that people underage fully understand politics yet (in most places you dont even take government in school until you are a senior)

I proudly voted for obama because I stayed up to date with the campaigns of both candidates the whole time they were running. The things that Obama said versus the things that McCain said made my decision far too easy.

McCain is a Repub. JUST LIKE BUSH who has the same views and supports the big business to get bigger, (rich get richer) the man is OLD, with a history of bad health and the idiot woman he chose as his little side-kick would drill our country into the ground. the woman is an air head.

Does this mean I agree with EVERYTHING Obama favors? Not at all. But between McCain and Obama, Obama's ideals are going to get us farther in the long run.

He said FROM THE BEGINNING, that things were going to get worse BEFORE they get better. He said that his Bailout would not show any economical improvement until about 2 YEARS into the plan. (think of how many billions of people hes trying to take care of)

trust me the recession effected my household! I got laid off and couldnt find a job for 6 months!! 6 MONTHS. But thank GOD for Obama's Bailouts because since he put the stimulus plan into effect, that offered an additional 8 months of emergency benefits that people could get IF they couldnt find a job. At trust me I was trying. I applied to atlead 200 jobs within the 6 months. Even things I was OVER Qualified for. Jobs simply couldnt afford to hire more workers.

2 YEARS!! So WHY is it that 4 or 5 months into his position, people are already BITCHING that the economy isnt fixed????

HELLOOOOO! He said 2 years people?! are you listening?! Today CNN showed that Wall Street and the Stocks are improving at an amazing rate. People bitch about his Bailouts but HEYO! You have to spend money to MAKE money. Simple as that.

as far as him being black, im OFFENDED that people refuse to own up to the fact that the man is what we need for this country and since I live in Texas, I see my fair share of racist bumber stickers and get lots of chain emails talking about "seceding from the union"...and assasination threats. Give me a f***ing break. Get over it people. Stop using the F-ing RACE CARD already. grow up you immature ignorant a-holes.

Do some research before you try to "SPREED" your opinion.

And just so you know, Ive been a republican for many years, but once Bush ruined our country, McCain didnt look too far behind. Obama was eloquent, well educated, a family man, and honestly wants a better future for our country.

thats what a president should be.

Q: What are the chances that you can get pregnant from engaging in unprotected anal intercourse while on your period with a tampon in? I know that the chances are not high with anal sex and let alone being on my period; however, I am a bit nervous and need reassurance! Thank you!

Also, as far as I know, the semen did not leak on to the vaginal area after intercourse, as I was sure to wash up immediately after.

When partaking in anal intercourse, there is no chance of pregnancy unless cum leaked into your vagina.

if you had a tampon in, and any semen leaked down, most likely the tampon soaked it up, but who knows. stranger things have been known to happen

and i dont think its possible to get pregnant while ON your period.

just keep an eye on your next cycle. If your next period is any more than 3 days late, take a pregnancy test immediatly.

i dont think you are, but just pay attention.

hope this helps! =]

steph 21

Q: when having sex, if the girl gets really wet, really easily it's most likely going to be more enjoyable, more easily to get in right?

and does that mean you don't have to use lube?

Some girls get more wet than others but yes, as long as you are wet, lube is unecessary, but it can dry up quickly sometimes so having some lube nearby is good just in case.

hope this helps! =]

steph 21

Q: okay so my bf wants me to get on top but im afraid but i want too. help

dont do it unless you absolutely are ready.

but really its not all that bad. its just like you being on bottom but backwards. you are just sitting on him like a horse.

hope this helps =]

steph 21

Q: im not sure if its because im self conscious or not about everything on me or if this can really happen, i was pregnant but lost the baby at 10 weeks and my boobs grew a lot in that time to wear i got stretch marks and i was happier with the bigger boobs since i was only a 34B and now that i lost the baby and im not lactating anymore it looks to me like my boobs shrunk like maybe even smaller than before can that really happen or is it in my head?

ACTUALLY this is quite normal! =]

when you are pregnant, your breast automatically start to grow and start producing milk.

If you become "no longer pregnant" then your body has no use for breast milk, your hormones slow down, and your breast will shrink down.

its not in your head =] i promise its normal.

by the way, im sorry you lost the baby. :-(

steph 21

Q: ok so im 16/f and i dont masturbate, really i get nothing out of it. im sexually active though and very pleased with my fiancee, however- i dont think ive ever actually climaxed...everyone says its this huge build up then you cum and feel all better- never had that feeling, how do i make myself climax? or how can i tell? cuz if i do i dnt feel it. thanks

well its very difficult, almost IMPOSSIBLE to climax JUST by having sexual intercourse. For most women, they can only orgasm when the clitoris is stimulated. have him rub it with his hand while you are having sex. you will start to feel yourself getting pleased more than ever....if he does it correctly and long enough, you will climax, and you will know when you do.

hope this helps! =]

steph 21

Q: 15/f k so i have 'hormonal acne' meaning the kind of acne thats like tiny little bumps all over your face, not big enough to pop or anything and the only way to get rid of it is through using birth control. the problem is, my doctor and parents dont particularly want me to be on birth control. i dont have that bad of periods, i mean they normaly last the full 7 days and there kinda heavy but my doctor said 'unless you have to go to the hospital because your periods are so bad than your fine' so i guess that doesnt count...and im not 'sexually active' so he wont give them to me for that either. but i could be soon so who knows. i just dont know how to get on it because every time i go i always ask to be on it and they always say no :( even though my sister got on it when she was even younger than me! so what should i do?! please help!

TELL your doctor, that you want to be on it. Tell your parents that you REALLY need to be on it just incase. If you seriously want to be on it, tell your parents, have a mature talk with them, remind them about your sister getting it when she was younger.

be honest with them and tell them that there is always a possibility of sex and you would feel safer if you were on it.

just have a mature talk about it and hope that helps. =]

steph 21 =]

Q: i've been a relationship with my ex-boyfriend for bout 3yrs and our sex life was great!! but since we broke up and we i have sex with my new boyfriend i dont seem to catch an orgasm it doesn't matter what we try i just can't seem to get off

some men are just better in bed than others!

it depends on their penis shape, and how adventerous they are in bed.

try to direct your new guy and show him what feels good. He cant really read your mind. =]

steph 21

Q:
yeahhhh another sex question haha sorry!:)

but i was just wondering, roughly the percentage of getting pregnant if you are on birth control, and take it the same time every day BUT the condom broke, tore, etc?

IF you are taking your pills at EXACTLY the same time everyday, the chance is about 5%. BUT if the condom broke, and cum got inside you, that definetly increases the chance to about 8%.

just always remember that no matter what precautions you take, there is always a chance at pregnancy.

hope this helps! =]

steph 21

Q: 19/female.

so me and this guy are really attracted to each other. i'm SOOOO ready just to get with him. don't tell me it's bad or i'm not ready, i know i am. i know who I am, and what i believe in BUT the problem is actually getting to that point.

should i text him sometime this week and ask what he's doing this weekend? and be like "wanna have some fun;)" youuuu know where i'm getting at hahaa. but i don't know if he would really understand what i was talking about what if he was like hahaa why? or something like that, it would ruin it all!

any other suggestions?

thats fine, if you are ready like you said. You are old enough.

Just remember that you arent the only person who has to be ready, he has to be ready to make that step too.

just be mature and ask him if hes ready to go to the next level. if you are both ready, then go for it.

hope this helps. =]

steph 21

Q: Hi
I just turned 18 two days ago. I have been on the birth control yaz since I turned 16. My boyfriend and I had sex last night and i was on one of the off pills. ( the white ones for those who know yaz ) .. i know i have a chance of being pregnant.. anyone could tell me that. But do you think it is possible.. since ive been on yaz for 3 years now.. ?

There are many things that could be depending on, like,

did you use a condom?

have you taken your pills everyday, at the same exact time every day?

if you did and you used a condom, your chances are low, BUT, if you didnt use an condom, or you dont take your pills at the right time, then that raises your chances of getting pregnant.

unfortunetly, it doesnt matter how many years you have been on birth control, there is still a risk of pregnancy. Just watch your period and if you are more than 3 days late, take a pregnancy test.

hope this helps! =]

steph 21

Q: I was doing stuff with a guy and he wanted to cum on my boobs..but it didnt exactly go there, it dripped toward my vag area..like on it, but not in it..it was at the top of it and then i got up really slowly and carefully and rushed to wash it off but im really scared i could be pregnant. he said im not but i dont know

As long as the cum was ON the TOP of your vag, and not IN it, then there is 0% chance you are pregnant.

steph 21 =]

Q: okay this probably sounds really stupid, but i don't exactly understand what dry sex is?

i heard it's great. but then if you don't exactly want to have REAL sex, it's not a good idea, right? because won't the guy just try and have sex with you then?

Dry humping is basically grinding eachothers genital areas together while fully clothed. It can get very steamy and make you want to do more. Basically stimulating the clitori by rubbing it up against your boyfriends crotch area.

Steph 21

Q: like the title, i really did.
I was just wondering if more people felt this way
and if there is a way to come back?
ive talked to my parents about ways to help me
and they say its just a part of life
im not thinking of suicide
but i go to food as a comfort, and thats not good for me.
i dont like clothes fitting tight, thats even less self esteem.
ive been through hard times in my life, because they were my fault.
I realized how bad of a person i am
and i dont know how to fix, especially when i apologized to people, and tried to make up for it but they dont accept ...
also, i cant really be 'happy'
and being 'in love' has just died out. I dont know
I cant feel feelings anymore, it sounds weird..but i cant feel true happines, and I cant feel relief, I cant feel blessed. I can only feel serious numbness.. i didnt know that was possible
but things dont usually 'phase' me unless its negative. I keep the feelings bottled up. I used to think when people say these things, it was all bull, but when i express, my true self to my own self.. those words come out. and i mean every one of them.
here it is:

Ive been chasing my shadows for some time now
I lost interest in everything
That made me myself.

I hope to live
Happy some day
I hope to be forgiven for my sins to you
The only way I can actually feel okay
Is if I learn to not care at all

I cant imagine myself being carried
While tears are flowing from my eyes
I don’t want to know the pain
That is kept in my heart

The growing pains of my mind
Are unexplainable to anyone else
The sadness I feel, kept inside.
Is not something im proud to tell

I feel ashamed of my existence
I lost what I knew was the best for me
I know, some still do love me,
But I realized what I aimed for was wrong

I try to make amends,
But im simply not strong
I know the ones surrounding me would not understand.

I try to give my best,
But I end up failing, wanting freedom
When I had the love that was the best
It just wasn’t close enough

I turned to things that weren’t good for me
And Ive realized, that I’m not as special as I thought I was
I’m just another miserable person

I looked at myself the other day
And I had a thought
That scratched my heart
And my well being.
My self esteem
And soul
Nearly died,
I realized.. I was the person, that I hated the most
What I saw in other people
And judged, hated them for the things they did
What they thought, what they said, even how they looked.
Their entire lifestyles, I realized.. I am living the exact way they are.
Am I just blind?
Or Do I hate myself?
Did I realize it?
OR did I know all along, but was too ignorant to notice.

Ive coasted by on life
You could say happy-go-lucky.
I’ve reached an all time low.
And I cant seem to get back
When I know it’s the most important thing

I cant describe my problem
Or even know what it is,
So I don’t know the first step, in coming back.

I cant even make proper friends
I have soiled my reputation that was at least good enough to pass by
But now I know that it is almost unfixable.
At least, that’s what I think it is.

I pour my heart to others,
And find myself at a stop..
I can’t fully say, all of how I feel
Because I am ashamed I will lose them,
Because I don’t have much left.

I found out, people are my happiness.
Other peoples satisfaction of me, was my happiness.
I don’t think ive ever made my own self happy
When I went against others
And I thought I was never like that

I could not see the person I really was
I thought I knew myself,
But when I realized my true colors..
I discovered I may have lived a lie,
That I told myself.
Without even knowing..
How can someone trick themselves, without them even knowing
When, and where…. how did it start?

Im not sure if your post was actually a question, I was in a similar situation when I was 16 (im 21 now)

i felt like my life was pointless and heres why.

I was raped, my younger sister died, my parents divorced, 5 close friends of mine died in High school, (all at different times) my grandmother died, (my last living grandparent. she raised me), Ive struggled with my weight my whole life after my rape, and kids teased me every year, my mother was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and my senior year she decided to leave her 2nd husband and could no longer afford to take care of me. At that point, I HAD TO MOVE OUT, not because I was ready, but because I had NO CHOICE, i had no relatives to move in with, so I was sure i was going out on the streets....

I guess you could say Ive had it rough...

At that point in my life, i wanted to die. life was too hard and I just didnt believe I could pull through in the end. it was pointless and I thought I was just God's toy. I wasnt even sure there was a God....

one day, I woke up on a friends couch, and I decided I was NOT going to let this happen. NOT TO ME. I was going to CHANGE what was happening to me.

so the day I graduated High School, I started my first job. there was no summer break for me. I have been working every day since.

Today, I am 21 yrs old, I bought myself a brand new car, I have my own apartment, i pay over 20 bills every month including cell phone, insurance, gas, rent, you get the idea.

all on my own. Now heres my advice:

NOW i realize that by making me go through all of those things, God was preparing me for my life. He was making me understand that the world is never fair, but you can turn BAD things into GOOD things with the right attitude!

If I had an easy childhood, I would still be sitting at home with mommy and daddy taking care of me and not knowing what the real world is like, just like most of the people my age are doing right now. All my friends are envious that I have my own place and do what I want. I have to remind them of all the bad things Ive gone through just to get where I am...but in the end, i am the most successful person in my large group of friends....and i am the YOUNGEST. =]

The reason I told you my life story is because I think young teens/adults like you can learn alot from me. It can be motivation, to keep your chin up, and dont get depressed.

God works in amazing ways. dont ever doubt him.

If bad things are happening, remember, you are strong. most people prey on other peoples self esteem because they like the reaction you give them.

So next time you feel dont on life, just remember that you arent going to be a sad kid forever. you will grow into a happy, adult with friends and a family someday. I promise things will be hard at first, but I also promise that the mental strength you will gain from this will be VERY worth it in the end.

if you ever want to talk or want some 1 on 1 advice, ive experiencced alot and can help with almost anything. feel free to email me anytime, 24/7. im here for ya =]

stephanie.ellick@gmail.com

steph 21/houston

Q: well im waiting till marriage to have sex with my boyfriend. is there other ways i can please him. BJS is working pretty good but my hand gets tired.

its good to wait until marriage,it takes alot of willpower.

but a BJ is done with the MOUTH. thats why its a blow job.

A HAND job is with your hands.

=] steph

Q: My boyfriend was a virgin, we had sex with a condom on and he didnt even cum.
He had to get home, so we stopped. He asked if he could use it without a condom, and I was dumb enough to say yes, and i told him ive never done that before.
he went in for five seconds.

and are condoms lubricated on both sides?
it was trojan
i felt his penis before he went in, and it seemed lubricated by the condom, not bodily fluid like.
he didn't cum in the five seconds either.

well, my period was a long time ago, i can't even remember.
i should be having it within 5 to(whatever amount) of days.

my period is 8 days long.
ive always used a condom
he was losing his virginity with me,
and its the first time ive had sex in three months.
how much is the possibility?
i dont know if im going through ovulation, i should have my period by now. but i heard you ovulate one day a month.
i dont know, help?
but my period is not trackable, it jumps around.
example.
starts on the 4th of one month,
then the 20th of the next month
can skip one month
then start on the 6th

by the way, if i get my period within that time limit of days or so
then am i okay?

even if he didnt cum in that 5 seconds, there is a wet "pre cum" that secretes millions of sperm and he cant feel when this liquid comes out.

you made a mistake by letting him get insode you without a condom on. you can get pregnant WITH a condom, so NOT using one is even more risky.

Im not trying to scare you, but if you are mature enough to have sex, then you need to be mature enough to accept the consequences too.

I would say wait about 3-5 days. If you still havent gotten your period, take a pregnancy test.

if you are pregnant, you need to find out as soon as possible that way you can start your pre-natal care to keep your baby healthy.

email me if you need anything, anytime.

stephanie.ellick@gmail.com

steph 21

Q: what if i never get a peroid?

actually, dont let the previous poster worry you.

you dont have to ge it by the time you are 16.

there are a few things that you should look at here:

are you an average weight for your age? Not obese, not too skinny, being an unhealthy weight can contribute to late blooming.

next look at family history. In some cases, a look into the family history can reveal a reoccurring lateness from your mother, grandmother, sister, aunts, etc. it could be just how your genetics work.

check your other development on your body.

are you also late and blooming breasts, hip, etc?

now, if you dont get it by 16, that could be signs of infertility, but it is common nowadays for girls to not have their first menstrual cycle until they are about 18 yrs old.

if its something you are that concerned about, go see an endocrinologist, an obgyn, or your family physician. they should be able to tell you what the hold up is, and make sure you are healthy.

inbox me anytime. im here for ya!

steph 21

bio

Hi! I'm Stephanie, I'm a 21 yr living in Houston, Texas. I've been living on my own since I was 17 and wouldnt have it any other way. Ive been through many bad things in my life. Instead of letting things hurt me and make me bitter and depressed, I have let them make me stronger. I can give great advice on almost any subject. Im getting married in December to a wonderful man named Chris, and will soon my a military wife! inbox me or email me anytime, id love to hear from you!

stephanie.ellick@gmail.com