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so im terrified.
hi im a 19/f and i recently hooked up with a guy and we did anal & oral sex. now im scared i might have gotten something from him. he had a baby 6 months ago and im not sure if he's done anything with anyone during that period of time. i got tested today for HIV gonorrhea, and syphilis. I can't believe after all that i've been through i still do this stuff. this same thing happened to me almost 2 years ago and i've been seeing a therapist since, but for some reason i feel like i haven't changed. Now im really miserable and terrified, and i feel like crying all the time because my parents don't know & their always telling me im such a good daughter & i know that im not because i keep making these stupid mistakes. i feel horrible. and even my therapist tells me not to tell my parents because the last time i told them i had sex with a guy they got really angry. i told my dad and he beat me up. but i got lucky and didn't get pregnant or any disease. so yeah and im 19 now. im so stupid and i just feel like killing myself. help me please :(
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Hey there,
Firstly, nothing in this world is worth taking your life over. We all make mistakes when we are young and although it may take years, eventually, you will learn from those mistakes. You are 19 and I promise you hormones has alot to do with your promiscuity. I think deep down you have some insicurities that cause you to seek attention from men. I know this because I was there myself just a year ago. Im only 20 now and last year was a dark year for me. Ive tried therapy too but it doesnt always help.
your parents are right, they do have a good daughter. The reason I say that is because you obviously feel guilty about your behavior. That makes you human and a good person. If you had no guilt and didnt care about your behavior, then THAT would be an issue.
The only way to pull out of this behavior is to start with yourself. I know it sounds a little crazy, but you need to start loving yourself. There has to be something that you can do to make your outlook on life better. Once you are happier with life, you can start forgiving yourself. Dont subject yourself to sexual encounters with strangers. You deserve better than that.
I would like you to email me if you want to talk. I have been in your place before, and I have also helped several friends get through these tough times. Heres my email. Let me know if you need anything or just want to talk.
Stephanie.ellick@gmail.com
steph 20/f
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Okay I'm going to jump right into this...
If you are doubting yourself then maybe apart of yourself is telling you that it's time to change things. The truth is I don't know how many times you've had sex, oral or anal but every woman gets paranoid from time to time about HIV and other diseases and this is why you need to be careful when you have sex and who you have sex with. You are now an adult you also might want to try and make an appointment with your doctor to see what kind of birth control you can possibly get on and you don't need to tell your parents about the birth control because you are old enough to make your own choices. However, For your sake and your partners sake if you ever have sex use protection. You can tell your parents that is up too you, If it makes you more comfortable maybe tell your mother and not your father.
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