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hey there.... i have a very stupid kind of question which is in my mind for 2-3 years.....
i go to gym almost regularly and have been listening to people there saying that if you really wanna improve your performance at gym then u should completely stop masturbating.. i try to control myself a lot of times but still end up doing it atleast once a week (oops)... so can anybody tell me what is the real truth and is there some special time when we should never do it relevent to gym activities.
P.S.- m a male of 19 and m considered as a bit more then average in aspect of gym capabilities and am going to gym since i was 16 ... so its like 4 years. (link)
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I was a two sport All-American in college. Both sports very aggressive, very masculine. One coach actually "strongly encouraged" us to not masturbate or have sex with anyone. He would delicately stress how ejaculating decreases our stamina and aggressiveness. True story.
I can honestly say that this abstinence had no effect, and actually had a much more of a negative countereffect. All we could ever think about was sex, sex, and more sex. Not our sport, not our education, not anything but sex and anything to have sex with. We were already naturally horny creatures, and our coach made situations much worse. We weren't more aggressive, we did not have more stamina. And I and my friends were completely devoted to this coaches program.
So officially the answer is NO.
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I have a confusing problem, I don't know if I'm Gay or now. When ever I masturbate, I have sexual fantasies of other guys (I am a guy) but when I look at guys in real life, I just don't have any, emotional feelings for them, like a guy does when he has a crush on a girl. So I have sexual feelings for guys, but when i look at girls, I get the butterflies and goose bumps, and I always have these day dreams of asking this one girl I really like out. But I've never had any sexual fantasies about them. So now I'm just confused as to why I have sexual feelings about guys, but the average crush like feelings for girls, but not the sexual feelings that I sometimes have for guys. (link)
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Right now, I would have to say, don't worry about it.
Do what makes you feel good. You don't state your age, but if you are still young (meaning in your teens and not considered an adult yet) its important to just live your life. All this added stress you put on yourself can lead to bad things.
Does it bother you that you might be gay? Or does it bother you that you don't have any crushes on another guy?
As to why you have sexual feelings about guys, I think it could be many reasons. Some guys have sexual dreams about other guys when they feel that they don't have good friendships with other men; sex is very intimate and creates a close bond. Some guys have sexual dreams about other guys when they have control issues, either being dominate and in control or the opposite, having the need to be controlled and dominated. My point is, these guys don't necessarily have to be gay. Our dreams and fantascies help us understand what are consciences are telling us we need and what makes us feel good or better. The cause could be completely pyschological. Really work on your male friendships. If you are a teen, make that "what is my sexuality" decision later on when you have less to focus on. In the meantime, do what feels good, imagine whatever you want.
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Hey, I am Leigh-Anne, I am 35 years old, a week ago me and my husband were working late, my 12 year old son was home alone, when I came home I went to his room and caught him having sex with a 17 year old girl who is a friend of the family. I was schocked. She was giving him oral sex and they immedietly stopped, please answer thanks ~Leigh-Anne (link)
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What is alarming about your question has been some of the answers posted in response. If the sexes were reversed (17 yr old boy with a 12 yr old girl) people would be telling you to call the authorities and press charges. Which, I feel, does no good for anyone, unless your child was an unwilling participant. I suspect that he probably is proud of the fact that he has been "doing it" with a much older girl.
My advice is clear. Your 12 year old son has lost his innocence, and has moved onto a stage where he needs his father to start treating him more like a young man. Your son cannot go back to the naive boy that he was, and he has been given the freedom up to this stage to do whatever he wanted. Chances are he has had more experiences than this one. How open is your husbands relationship with him? Do you have any older sons who can also talk with him? Your husband should asked him a bunch of specific questions about his sons sex life and teach him what he knows about sexual responsibility and sexual addiction. A one on one lecture sitting across each other at the dining room table probably isn't best. He should be active in something so that he does not feel embarassed talking to his dad about SEX. For us guys we are more open when we are distracted in doing something else, like drawing or video games or working on our cars. There are many books which can assist your husband in this "talk". Might I recommend a book called "Man to Man".
Do you think you might condone your sons new sex life, or condemn it? Read some of the other questions on this website from 12 year olds and you will see that 12 is NOT unheard of for kids these days having sex. Just be careful that he doesn't equate the amount of sex he has with what it takes to be a MAN. At school they boast about these things, and eventually "getting ahead in the world" becomes a sexual reference and not something that is a result of his dedicated school work. Watch him closely, but from afar.
Other people gave you advice about what to do with the 17 year old girl. She has her own issues and her parents need to know. Thats all you need to do.
I hope you can post a positive update on your son someday.
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I've figured out that i am bi...but i am a christian..and i realize how wrong it is...and i hate myself for it...im trying to change myself.....but its hard for me to completely stop liking guys....but its so wrong...in the bible it says that doing stuff with another guy is an abomination..and they should be destroyed..that scares me..so i am trying to fight it off..i have a gf...and she's helping me thru it too...but my ? is...is it really wrong to be bi?.. (link)
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What I don't understand about Christianity is is do christian people feel bad about themselves when they have sexual desires directed towards the opposite sex? Not to answer a question with a question deliberately, but I'd like to know.It sounds like many christian denominations would only allow you to have sex with a woman when you and that woman choses to make a child.
You are pummelling yourself because you have sexual urges toward men and women, and that your christian beliefs tell you that your urges specifically towards men are wrong. Why should it matter? If you will have a difficult time living a life without ANY sexual urges, male or female, why limit yourself with just one sex? Go full board. You were made by your God, in his image, and he made you bisexual. You will never be able to change that. Just be safe, and don't sneak around and break your local laws trying to live your secret life.
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I'm really attracted to my friend. Hes 17 years old and is a total hottie. I really would love to spend the rest of my life with him. He gives me chills down my spine to see him happy and when hes sad it kills me ... literaly. The only thing is, that is stopping me from being with him, is my religion. In my religion it is against my code to have sex with another male. What do you think i should do? I really want to be with him and have sex with him but when i do i feel bad... help please. im an 18 year old male. Weve known each other for 5 years now. please help. (link)
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You are clearly in love. And above all things, there is love, according to God. The Greeks broke down love in three catagories. Eros, Falleo, and Agape. Eros being the sensual, lustful love. Its where we get the word erotic. Falleo being deep brotherly love. Much like the love of companionship and togetherness. And then Agape. Pronounced a-gaup-pay. This is the "I love you so much, I will die for you" love. Zealots compare agape to Jesus on the cross. Sociologists compare agape to a mother and child. Keep in mind, the Greek philosophers came centuries before our modern religions. They had gods, but love was supreme.
You and I are just a speck in time. You were born gay, and in ancient Greece you would be accepted. Your question is no different from the dozens of others male teens who write to this website about their desires towards teenage girls. Please, avoid feelings of self loathing or guilt. You will be encountering many more serious controversies soon. Be comforted that thousands of years ago there was a Greek male that went the same delimmas that you are having today.
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I have a friend that ive known for several years. She lives a very long distance away from me and theres nothing i can do physcially for her. Her father makes her have sex with him on a nightly basis. Is there any way i can help her get help. Shes afraid of going against him, because he is paying for her college and everything. I love her to death. What can i do? (link)
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You and her need to sit back and look closely at the big picture. It is easy for us "outside-third-parties" to do because we are not involved in your daily life. Reality is her father is causing your friend many lifelong problems. Her school has a counselling department that can take care of her. Your role is to be there when she needs you. She is not obligated to pay off her college tuition with sex. She should emancipate herself from the situation, go to another school in another state, preferably close to you, and apply for student loans and grants. Maybe you can show her the light about this. Do research on college loans and grants and provide her with a way out. She can't fathom it now, but she needs to remove herself from this situation immediately. As for the mother, she knows, without question. As for the father, he clearly needs help too. He has an illness, and your friend is not responsible for this. She did not cause this. At some point, after exhausting all avenues, if she does not listen to you, you must prepare yourself for a life without her. You cannot help the unwilling.
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i have a small problem. i like sex. i like it alot. i almost feel i need it like air. i know its kinda like a drug, it can be addictive, but i dont care. im a male slut, bigtime. is there a sexaholics annonmous? i mean, i know love making is best...you know, when your dating or in love with someone, but it's like i wanna screw everything in sight! help!! (link)
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Does it get in the way of your responsibilities in life? Thinking about sex all the time is one thing, acting out on your urges in yet another thing, but choosing sex over your real responsibilities is a problem. Sex is pleasurable, and it can easily cure whatever baggage you may carry. But, the attainment of sex should never be a band-aid to your low self esteem. If this is you, you should step back a little, look into a mirror, and see what you really gain in being a male slut. Get help if you feel it would help. There are 12 step programs for sex addicts. A friend of mine in New York goes to one, and he now has a very healthy sexlife, even with some of the other addicts in his group. Personally, I believe an active sex life is wonderful, as long as it is performed for the right reasons. Churches across America are filled with former male sluts, gay and straight, that each had at some time a sudden epiphany that they were having sex for all the wrong reasons. Make sure this is not you, continue on with your healthy sex life, make sure your bills are still paid, and mind the laws in your area.
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