LoStNcOnFuZeD's advice column | LoStNcOnFuZeD's Advice About General Sex Questions

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Q: okay so last week my bf fingered me for the first time in the pool. now what i want to know is would doing that kind of activity in the pool be bad for my vagina? I heard that sex is bad in the pool, does it go for fingering as well? i mean it hasn't bothered me at all. In fact, i really enjoyed it. Like most people say, it hurts the first time to be fingered. It didn't hurt at all. He eventually used 2 fingers near the end. I'm a dancer and i use tampons so that could be why.
Also since it was my first time and haven't done it since, would doing it out of the water feel better than being in the pool?
just curious...
thank you.

Yeah, I would stop will all genital related activities in the pool. Yeast Infections are NOT fun and that's a very good way to get one.

Q: I'm 18/f he's 21/m. My boyfriend and I have been sexually active for over a year now. Yesterday we tried a new position and if made me queef (I think that's what it's called). Anyway the point is I was really embarassed about it. My boyfriend is sweet and said he didn't care, but I don't know. Does that kind of thing gross guys out?

Well, I think that would depend on the guy. However, if you do happen to come across a guy who minds it, tell him to man the **** up because it's completely naturally. Really, it happens all the time. Your boyfriend said he didn't mind it anyway so tell him I said way to be a REAL man. I don't think you have anything to worry about.

Q: there's this boy, whom I like alot- i'm going to call him jake. well today he came over, when my parent's weren't here, we didn't go outside but we were sitting on the bench& we started making out then he was leaving at ten, so I looked at my phone I was like twenty more minutes, then it started to get serious, like we would be kissing& for a few times he did would run his hand up my back& I was like if he tries to go under my bra or near my "private" area, i'm going to stop him, so he goes over my bra, like he was feeling them, just kinda touching? it wasn't bad& it was only for a few minutes. then we were kissing again& he stuck his hands down the back of my pants touching my butt, he would do that, then bring it out& then do that again, then he took his hand& he was playing w/ my "private" part's, like my panties were still in the way but he was playing with them over my panties& at the time I didn't care, I was like he still isn't in them, blah blah blah. & now that I think of it I feel horrible, weren't even dating& I let him do that, I feel so sick, like to my stomach& I feel like a whore, I already took a shower, he's the only guy I have done anything like this with, i've only even made out w/ one guy ever then him,& i'm fourteen, do you think i'm a whore?

You're not a whore. But, I do think that 14 is a little young to be getting into more than making out. I would say that you're not ready for that type of a relationship yet, and I would imagine you would agree not only because of the discomfort you felt while it was happening, but also because of your questioning the situation after it happened. If I would adivse you anything it's to learn from this situation, and do not under any circumstances let other people take advantage of you. If you don't want something to happen, be sure that you voice that you don't want it to and then see to it that it doesn't happen.

Q: ok i want to masturbate ive tried it before but it didnt give me pleasure for a very long time and i dont have anything that vibrates what should i use? please help

Okay, I would not recommend using a vibrator because of this reason: if you use it too often, you might find that it will difficult for you to have a natural orgasm when you have a partner.

I think your problem with natural masturbation is that you're probably too aware of yourself while you're doing it, which can be a discomforting notion and somewhat of a turn off. I would advise you to maybe have some sort of visual that really turns you on, like a picture or porn while you're masturbating. It might make it easier for you.

Q: alright well.. im about 5'1 and im really curvy. i have a flat stomach and an ass so i get alot of attention from guys. well also my cup size is a D and theyre very perky. guys r always maken comments to me about them and guys always wanna see them.. the problem is... i have an inch and 1/2 space between the 2 of them and i have a huge circle around my nipple. its embarassing and im considering plastic surgey.. but my question is.. will that turn guys off? pls help.. thanks so much

Okay well first of all, there's no doubt that girls like attention from guys. I'll be the first one to admit that I get a certain amount of feel good from it. BUT, I don't think that you should be going around flashing guys who only give you that particular physical attention anyway. Those guys, the ones who continuously comment on your sexual physical features (boobs, butt, curves, etc...), are going to be the guys who care what your boobs look like.

My advice to you is: good guys, the ones who care about your personality instead of your body, won't have a problem. In fact, REAL men won't care what your boobs look like because they will be focusing on an emotional connection with you as well as a physical one.

Rereading this, I know it sounds very "fairy-tale" but this relationship really does exist, and I think that's what every girl should strive for. The guy that's right for you is the guy that you can be 100% comfortable around. This includes being comfortable about what you assume is a flaw with your body.

Q: what are the chances of getting pregnant from precum?

Your chances of getting pregnant from precum are just as high as getting pregnant from timely ejaculation. If you don't believe me, do some research.

Q: there's nothing wrong with making out, blowjob, tugging, and all the other fooling around with your guy friend, right? i just wanted to make sure before i do it lol, thanks!

I think that there is a lot that is wrong with it. If you like him, you should want to pursue more than just a sexual relationship with him. If you don't like him, I don't understand why you want to have any sexual relationship with him. However, there are many risks that are involved with getting sexually involved with somebody that are most frequently overlooked. Not only are there medical risks such as STD's and infection, but you must also consider the emotional risks you are taking. If you really do like this guy, you should want him to like you for who you are and not what you'll do for him. You must also consider who else might be finding out everything that you do with him. Even if you trust him to not say anything you can never be certain. So also, please consider your reputation. There is a significant difference between being sexually active with somebody you've been in a relationship with and being sexually active with some guy friend of yours. I've been in this situation before and from my mown personal experience it is NOT WORTH IT.

Q: What's the average size of a guy's penis?
my bf is 16 and he's a bit worried about it.
what can i do?

I'm not really sure that there is an "average" size because every guy differs drastically. But, if he's uncomfortable with his size (my guess would be he thinks it's too small) tell him not to worry because when he gets hard every guy becomes at least 8in before they ejaculate. and just let him kno that ur fine with it. You like it just the way it is ;-)

Q: On New Years Eve im going to my boyfriends house. I'm a virgin but that night i think i want to lose my virginity with him. I'm 14 almost 15 i know i'm young but i'm tired of being a virgin. We've only been going out for a week today but we went out for 7 months a while back. Please don't reply if your just going to call me a hoe or yell at me because i don't need that. Would i be making the wrong choice if i do? I already know about the whole getting pregnant thing im not stupid..but other than that am i making the right choice? thanks..

Only you can decide if you're making the right decision. If you truly feel like you're ready for this then just make sure you know all the precautions and consequences. You should also make sure that you're comfortable being with him and having him be the person that you did this with and will remember for the rest of your life. You need to make sure you feel safe with him and that if by some chance sumthing does happen (like if you get pregnant) that he will be there for you. But, in my opinion, it doesn't seem like you're 100% ready because you are questioning whether or not this is what you really want to do. Don't have sex just to have sex and not be a virgin nemore. You should have sex because you're in love with the person you're with and you want it to be special.

Q: Ok i have a really important question. i really want to have sex but i am not sure when girls can get pregnate. i have already have my period but is it after u get it wheil u have it or what?? plz help me

The possiblity of you getting pregnant is the smallest during your period. But, there is ALWAYS the possibilty of you getting pregnant. Just make sure that you use a condomn and maybe if birth control if you're that worried. Don't worry about anybody having to find out about the birth control. You can even go to your mom's doctor because you have doctor/patient confidentiallity. Good Luck -N- God Bless ~*CaSSiE*~

Q: what should you do when you are feeling pressured into sex when your not readi?

Ok, first of all...sex is a very special committment. So, if you feel you are being pressured into it you should tell the person who's pressuring you to quit it. Tell them that you are not ready, and if they can't respect how you're feeling then they should find somebody else to be with. Stay strong and stand your ground. You don't have to do anything until you are ready.

Q: Ok well i been wid mybf for over 9 months and i have been thinkin bout"IT" lol well i wanted to wait till i was like 16 but i dont think im gunna b able to wait that long cuz im 13 now turnin 14 next month but i feel im conforablen stuff n im almost definately positive my bf iz!! lol so my questions iz do u think i should or do u think im to young?!?!?!?! plz help!! thanx

~*~ Should I?!?!? ~*~

I think sex is a very special commitment and it is nothing to joke about. You must be very very committed before you even think abotu having sex. Nine months is a long time but for a 13 going on 14 year old I think it is too soon. I'm going to be 15 soon so believe me I can relate. I'm not sure how educated you are on sex either because I know 18 year olds who still aren't even sure why a girl gets her period!!! But, I think you should definately hold off until you are older because you still have many more experiences to have before you lose your virginity. You shouldn't be pressured into having sex either. If you tell your b/f you're not ready or you think you should wait he should respect your decision. If he doesn't than there is somebody else out there who will. You might think you are comfortable having a commitment, but sex is a big deal and it ALWAYS changes EVERYTHING. Especially, if you're not 100% what you're getting into. Please take my advice and hold off until you are older, have more experiences, and are much more aware. Good Luck n God Bless ~*CaSSiE*~

Q: I've been goin out with this guy for about a year now. We both really like each other and I believe it could be love (I'm 18)... we've talked about having sex, we're both virgins and he told me he's ready to have sex with me and wouldn't push me if I wasn't (and he hasn't pushed me at all)... but I don't really know if I am or aren't... so how can I tell for sure if I'm ready?!

I think that when you are ready for sex you will know for sure. Don't do it if you have any doubts at all about whether or not you are ready. You're lucky to have a boyfriend who respects your feelings enough to give you the time you need. Take advantage of that. Even if you are in love, love doesn't mean we should have sex. Make sure you're ready.

Q: anyway i dont know wha to ask im askin for advice on this thing called life wehre can i get a life i got a life but its going my way but one of my freinds wants one n i told her i would buy her one where can i buy a life( not the board game i tried that already) can u help me find a life for my friend

yes FREDDY (lol)...i think i kno where you can get a life for your friend. Just tell her the name of the place where you bought yours. Don't you remember? Itz called "Get A Life". I hear they sell some pretty cheap onez too! lol...ur retarded u loser! lol jk :)

Q: My boyfriend and I are going to become sexually active soon and I just have one problem. I told him I'm a virgin and I'm really not. No one knows that I've had sex once before and I cannot tell him or anyone because of specific reasons. He's not a virgin either, but will he be able to tell I'm not?

ok 1st of all, if ur thinking about becoming sexually active with this guy you should tell him the truth. Why do you feel the need to lie about it? It's not like he can judge you because he isn't a virgin either. And if he does judge you than all you have to do is find sumbody better than that because you deserve so much more. But anyway, yes I think he will be able to tell that you've had sex before because there won't be as much resistance. In other words you won't pop. But, if he hasn't had sex with a virgin before than he might not be able to tell because he won't know what it feels like to have sex with a virgin. I think that you should just tell him that you aren't a virgin. Then, you don't even have to worry about any of this. Get back to me if you need any further help.

bio

Hey! My name is Cassie and I'm 21 years old. I live in the suburbs of Chicago where I like to spend time with the important people in my life, play softball, and volunteer in my community. I am currently a junior in college. Throughout my years of schooling I have been involved in activities such as: volleyball, basketball, softball, theater, poms, choir, band, foreign language club, science team, and academic achievement programs. I am a Secondary Lutheran Education Biology Major with a minor in Spanish Education.

I enjoy getting to know people. I am generally an optimist and choose to believe that every individual has something to offer. Please feel free to ask me anything. I promise that I will consider every question thoughtfully and give you the best possible advice.