stillstella's advice column | stillstella's Advice About Friendship

A lot of people judge me on what they see but never really know whats going on. I'm not close to perfect and I'm not afraid to show it. So many things have happened to me that it seems surreal sometimes. But now I'm finally happy with myself and my life. So haters keep hating because I realized how blessed I truely am.

advice

Any one know any good friendship qoutes they can send me?

My favorite friendship quote is
"A friendship that can end never began."

Here are some excellent websites with some really good qoutes on friendship.

http://www.expage.com/page/snowmonkey4/

http://www.friendship.com.au/quotes/quofri.html

http://www.indianchild.com/friendship_quotations.htm

http://www.theholidayspot.com/friendship/quotes.htm

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My bestfriend has a ton of guy friends. Sometimes I feel left out of all their conversations and dont know how to get in the conversation too. I have some guy friends but I always end up liking them for more that a friend and then i get to nervose around them so I only talk to them online...not in person...any tips?

You don't have to do any research or anything extreme to have guy friends. I have plenty of them and I do none of that. You simply have to BE YOURSELF. Its almost like talking to one of your girl friends except you cut out things like your period, what outfit you are going to wear tomorrow, which lip gloss is better, etc. They like to know that you are being real with them. So don't try to act like someone you're not. Because just like girls they can usually tell when you are not being yourself.

If you need any more tips, suggestions, or advice feel free to write me back. :)

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I'm 15 years old. I used to be popular, but ever since i switched into a private school i feel like i dont hang out as much, and when i do, its ME making the plans. I especially dont have very many guy friends any more (esp. since i now go to an all girls school). WHAT SHOULD I DO!? and how can i make new guy friends?

Since you go to an all girls school you need to go outside of school to make guy friends. Below are places I recommend.
-mall
-movies
-skating rink
-beach
-pool
-bowling alley

When you see I guy you like, you have to be courageous. Give him a little smile and wave. If he likes you too most likely he will smile and wave back, he may even come up and make conversation with you. When he makes conversation with you ask him things like what school does he go to, his age, where he lives, etc. At the end of the conversation you two can give each other you all's phone number so you all can talk again. Don't worry about rejection because that's apart of life. Its all about taking chances.

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Okay, to make a long story short, me and my friend got into a fight with our other friend because we confronted her about blowing us off and shit because she got a new boyfriend. The whole thing was blown way out of proportion. Anyway, she forgave my friend, but not me, because I was meaner (apparently). The girl told me, "Your basically dead to me." She also told me she could never forgive me and that she didn't care what I said or did. This girl was one of my best friends. It's really hard to loose a friend, and never even get a second chance. How do I get over it? (It's definately going to be hard because we have the same group of friends.)

I have also tried having a civil conversation with her as well. She gives me a one word answer, and acts as I'm not worth her words. I'm tired of feeling like shit over this..PLEASE HELP. (btw this happened last april)

If she is willing to end you all's friendship over something that was so small then maybe she was never really a true friend. If you think about that, that should help you. Don't waste your time being said over someone's who isn't even a tru friend. Mix and mingle more. Once you make a few new friends things will come a whole lot easier for you.

I hope I helped. Feel free to write me back anytime. Thanks for asking me.

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i have this really good freind, maybe a best freind, and well to ALL of my other freinds she says I LOVE YOUUUU, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. but she never says it to me. like she says it all the time, liek if you didn't know her you may think shes a lezbian.. BUT SHES NOT. why doesn't she say it to me?

Well maybe you should say I love you first. That will give her the signal that it is okay for her to say it to you.

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Hello Friends, thank you for reading this. I have a friend, she was actually one of my first friends here, and I just heard that she was saying things about me behind my back to people that are my friends. Should I confront her about what she is saying?

Yes, you should definitely confront her. What she is doing is wrong and you need to let her know that.

Tell her how you feel and that you wish she would stop.

If she is willing to talk behind your back then I don't think she is a true friend.

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Ok, I'm going to go through all of this and try to not sound vain or concieted. I'm just going to be totally honest because I am the 'advisor' of our group and I am totally killing myself trying to help her.
So my friend Angela and I were fat geeks two years ago. I was the one with the sense of fashion though. Last summer, she went on vacation and came back totally transformed and in shape. She has a really nice body now. I passed on all my advice to her and she started wearing designer labels and boots and pretty much copying my "style". I didn't mind though, like it's flattering to me that she would take whatever I said to heed.
Over the last two years, I got thinner too but I a little overweight and not nearly as thin as Angela.
The problem with Angela is that she isn't the prettiest girl on the block. She has a huge forehead which she has covered up with bangs but now her face is totally square-shaped and it kind of looks like a block. She has no-lips, not thin lips, just no lips. The thing that stands out about her is her gorgeous blue eyes and her body. Anyway, she's not very attractive but she's a very nice and honest (although sometimes she annoys guys by nagging and starting arguments).
So I don't have that great of a body but I'm lucky, I inhereted good genes from my parents. I'm not as beautiful as mother but I'm fairly ok.
All my other friends are really pretty too.
So we recently found out that Angela was upset because the rest of our friends complemented me more than they complemented her. Well, I was pretty mad because I didn't think she should be that superficial. People usually commented when she went the extra mile to get ready when they do that all the time to me. Honestly, I thought it was a fair trade, I was... I guess prettier than her but she has a great body.
Now guys aren't all that interested in her. She's pretty much labeled herself desperate in fun (something no one should do even if they're joking, in my opinion). Some guys say it's becasue she comes on too strong and some say she isn't that pretty.
Recently, this guy told one of my friends that he thought I was hotter than Angela. That friend told Angela and Angela hinted that she didn't understand why. When we're all together and I talk about how so-and-so might have been hitting on me, she agrees with everyone when they say that he probably was but I can kind of -sense- that "Yeah right" is on her mind.
For example, if a guy in our class talks to me a lot, the next day, she'll wear a more revealing sexy top to the same top and try to talk to him a lot.
I'm wondering what's going on with her. Does she think I'm ugly or something? Is it jealousy? Or she thinks I'm unattractive and doesn't think guys will like me? Is she competing with me? She doesn't do it with my other friends and they're prettier than me and have better bodies. I'm afraid that this thing will escalate and I'll lose her.
I need to know how to fix this- and also try to get her a boy friend because she really wants one too. I rate 5s.

I think that she is jealous. But I don't think that she thinks that you are unattractive because she probably wouldn't have copied your "style".

She is showing signs of an unfaithful friend. I think it is best to talk to her. Let her know how you feel. Let her know that you don't like it when she tries to compete with boys, etc. Just make sure you get your point of view across.

I don't think that you should try to get her a boyfriend because if the relationship doesn't work out you will be the one to blame. Trust me I'm saying this from experience.

I wish you the best of luck! :)

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Hey, I know the subject is what every guy dreams of, but I need to learn how to get along with girls. I'm 14 year old male. I have some girl friends but I'm not very close to them. The reason is because I moved around so much I'm afraid to make friends because I may have to seperate from them. Because of this, I'm a loner and I sit at home and do nothing all day. Can you PLEASE give me some advice on how to become more people-friendly and get out there and make friends. Please I'm begging you.

Here are some tips to help you
-say hey/wave at me in the hallway at school or anywhere
-try to make conversation
-compliment a girl

if you want any other advice feel free to write me back or email me at stillstellasteal@yahoo.com

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OK so my best guy friend is in a fight with one of my good girl friends. These 2 are always like one minute best friends, one minute he hates her. I put her in my top 8 on myspace and hes like "ewww, take her out now." and i did. I know it was a small little thing, but it kinda scares me now .. am i letting him control me? If i tell him how i feel, he will get mad he is really sensitive. I dont wanna lose his friendship. What should i do?

Tell him how you feel regardless. You are the one that makes your decisions. If he is going to end you all's friendship over this small obstacle then he doesn't sound like a true friend.

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I like my best friend more than a friend...is this bad?
P.S.-were both girls...

Not at all! Let her know how you feel. Let things go from there.

edit: Why would you leave me such a rude comment? I told you my opinion. If I offended you then I apologize but there is no need to be so rude.

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I just got out of a relationship w/ a guy that I didn't talk to much before we started dating. He was a fun guy and I asked him to a dance and we got closer from there. Well, we broke up over a month ago, and he hasn't said anything to me at all really. He's smiled at me, but it's rare. I do want to keep a friendship with him even though he broke up with me. Should I talk to him first, or should I be patient and let it come...or tell him I miss talking to him? What would you do?

He sounds a bit on the shy side. I think you should give him some time. If he continues the behavior then you should talk to him first.

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