Ok, I'm going to go through all of this and try to not sound vain or concieted. I'm just going to be totally honest because I am the 'advisor' of our group and I am totally killing myself trying to help her.
So my friend Angela and I were fat geeks two years ago. I was the one with the sense of fashion though. Last summer, she went on vacation and came back totally transformed and in shape. She has a really nice body now. I passed on all my advice to her and she started wearing designer labels and boots and pretty much copying my "style". I didn't mind though, like it's flattering to me that she would take whatever I said to heed.
Over the last two years, I got thinner too but I a little overweight and not nearly as thin as Angela.
The problem with Angela is that she isn't the prettiest girl on the block. She has a huge forehead which she has covered up with bangs but now her face is totally square-shaped and it kind of looks like a block. She has no-lips, not thin lips, just no lips. The thing that stands out about her is her gorgeous blue eyes and her body. Anyway, she's not very attractive but she's a very nice and honest (although sometimes she annoys guys by nagging and starting arguments).
So I don't have that great of a body but I'm lucky, I inhereted good genes from my parents. I'm not as beautiful as mother but I'm fairly ok.
All my other friends are really pretty too.
So we recently found out that Angela was upset because the rest of our friends complemented me more than they complemented her. Well, I was pretty mad because I didn't think she should be that superficial. People usually commented when she went the extra mile to get ready when they do that all the time to me. Honestly, I thought it was a fair trade, I was... I guess prettier than her but she has a great body.
Now guys aren't all that interested in her. She's pretty much labeled herself desperate in fun (something no one should do even if they're joking, in my opinion). Some guys say it's becasue she comes on too strong and some say she isn't that pretty.
Recently, this guy told one of my friends that he thought I was hotter than Angela. That friend told Angela and Angela hinted that she didn't understand why. When we're all together and I talk about how so-and-so might have been hitting on me, she agrees with everyone when they say that he probably was but I can kind of -sense- that "Yeah right" is on her mind.
For example, if a guy in our class talks to me a lot, the next day, she'll wear a more revealing sexy top to the same top and try to talk to him a lot.
I'm wondering what's going on with her. Does she think I'm ugly or something? Is it jealousy? Or she thinks I'm unattractive and doesn't think guys will like me? Is she competing with me? She doesn't do it with my other friends and they're prettier than me and have better bodies. I'm afraid that this thing will escalate and I'll lose her.
I need to know how to fix this- and also try to get her a boy friend because she really wants one too. I rate 5s.
Additional info, added Monday January 16 2006, 5:12 am: To any advicenators that are considering giving me advice, please think about a few things before you do. This is not a 'dumb' issue because obviously I'm concerned about my friend and what this is doing to her. I am not judging her. I am extremely proud of her for losing so much weight, quitting smoking and getting a high GPA this year and I think that's a lot more important that looks. If you thinks this is a stupid question, please just move on. Don't waste any of our time.. Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship? tcklebunni answered Wednesday January 18 2006, 8:21 pm: Let me tell you what it is. I was so hugh at one time in my life but then i lostweight and i feel pretty and boys wanna holla and this and that. IT'S LIKE BEING A REGULAR GIRL RIGHT! well when Angela lost all that weight she thought she would just glide right in and be just one of those girls. and she's upset becuase that's not the way it works. she thought, "as soon as i lose this weight i can be normal and have a boyfriend and wear a bikini and go on hot dates all the time" but now that she has a slamming body and that's not her reality, she's disappointed. she doesn't understand why she can't have it all. and trust me, being like you and your friends is having it all. honestly, there is not much you CAN do. she has to learn to like herself for herself. i think the two of you both are superficial but have good reason to be. all the time you were fat you had to think about what other ppl thought of you and that's a hard habit to break and hard to get out of that state of mind. i think the reason she doesn't do that bratty thing with her other friends is becaue when you two were overweight, you were in it toghether and now that you're smaller, you're not in it toghether. you're doing your own thing now and she feels like if the boys can't accept her the way they do to you then there is no way that you two are still the same people. and i'm sure she doens't think you're ugly. she envies you! i guarantee it. she's jealous. she wants to be better than you. she probably wishes she was you.! [ tcklebunni's advice column | Ask tcklebunni A Question ]
MsAnswers answered Monday January 16 2006, 3:04 pm: well i'll say that it sounds like your friend is a little jealous that she took her time to loose weight and she did a great job but she still doesnt get hit on or have a boyfriend....she probably thinks that you are out to get because your prettier then her and in her head she probably thinks that you think that if your prettier then her then you shouldnt have to waste your time trying to be skinier then her, then again she probably cant stand the thought of rejection and gettin rejected because of her looks and not her body(do you understand what im trying to say?)give her time to cool and if she keeps at this or gets worse then i suggest that you have a talk with her....let me know how things worked out and if my advice did or will help you any [ MsAnswers's advice column | Ask MsAnswers A Question ]
tapdiva answered Monday January 16 2006, 2:11 pm: It sounds to me like you are comparing yourself to her. Don't! I bet you are a very gorgeous person. If the boys like you they will come back. Try talking to your friend, she may not realize how bitchy she is acting. If she blows you off then screw her. [ tapdiva's advice column | Ask tapdiva A Question ]
LEjLAXMAYAXMARiE answered Monday January 16 2006, 1:49 am: wow that was pretty long.anywho...She`s probably really self confident. going from big to skinny in a summer time is a derrassic change. you have to stop judging her. becuase if that is your friend then you should except her as her. and she should do the sam thing to you` but like you said both of you have something that the other one wants. and that`s never easy to deal with. or to think that your friend is prettier then you. just talk to her. and let her know you love her` give it to her like it is. if she`s truly you`r friend she will listen to what you have to say. Oh and don`t focus so much on trying to find her a boyfriend, the right guy will find her. hope i helped [&hearts]Lej [ LEjLAXMAYAXMARiE's advice column | Ask LEjLAXMAYAXMARiE A Question ]
kristen22 answered Monday January 16 2006, 1:09 am: I'll propbably get a 1 for this but ah well I think.....you have to much time on your hands. Your to concerned with dumb stuff like the size of someone's forhead lol I don't know why she's your friend you talk about her like she look's like shrek.
Let me make sure I go this right...Your statement's about what is supposed to be your best friend is "She has a huge forehead her face is totally square-shaped and it kind of looks like a block She has no-lips, not thin lips, just no lips she's not very attractive she annoys guys by nagging and starting arguments She's pretty much labeled herself desperate" If you think your best friend is trying to compete with you then just say that or even if you want gradually mention that friends comment you more on your looks than her and you think that might be the reason. But I do not see why degrading her in your question is anywhere helpful. [ kristen22's advice column | Ask kristen22 A Question ]
stillstella answered Monday January 16 2006, 1:02 am: I think that she is jealous. But I don't think that she thinks that you are unattractive because she probably wouldn't have copied your "style".
She is showing signs of an unfaithful friend. I think it is best to talk to her. Let her know how you feel. Let her know that you don't like it when she tries to compete with boys, etc. Just make sure you get your point of view across.
I don't think that you should try to get her a boyfriend because if the relationship doesn't work out you will be the one to blame. Trust me I'm saying this from experience.
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