lizzielovesyou's advice column | lizzielovesyou's Advice About Friendship

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Q: I need some help in trying to gain back a friend. Our history is pretty, well very, complicated.

About 2 years ago we dated, only for 3 weeks but still. Then we broke up and he promised that we'd "still be friends". Except, much to my dismay, he actually meant it. And our friendship grew from there. We became even closer. Then he sorta started ignoring me for no reason. Then that stopped and we talked again. Then we made a mistake....we hooked up. So up until about 3 months ago, it was continuous hooking up + remaining close friends, then fighting, then not talking, then hooking up again, then fighting, then not talking. Then in February we had a huge fight that pretty much ended it all. Until a few weeks later, when we actually started talking again. Despite all the messiness and our huge fight, we were able to put that all behind us and have at least some semblance of a friendship again. The last time I saw him was on St. Paddy's Day, and things were pretty good between us. We talked a little after that and he even (in his own way) seemed kinda sorry and remorseful for the way he had been acting. Then one night I was talking to him online, and he gave me an attitude and he has been ignoring me ever since.

I left out a lot of the details of stuff that went down between us throughout all those times, but it's just too much to get into. And I'm not looking for reasons as to why he's ignoring me or why he does the things he does, because I don't even think he knows that. His ignoring me is most likely because he's moody and goes through weird phases of who he hangs out with and who he associates himself with. He's done this before, but we've gotten over it before. And I know the past has been rocky and hooking up always changes things, but I don't understand why it's IMPOSSIBLE to be friends again. I've had feelings for him for a long time, but I'm not interested like that anymore. I just want him as a friend again, because I really honestly miss the good friendship that we had.

Now, before anyone says "just get over him, he's not worth it" or "it can't be done, its way past being friends again", just be advised that I know that. And I've heard that before (hell, even from myself). But I guess I'm stubborn and I just refuse to believe that it's completely out of the question to be friends again. I'm totally willing to put all of the ugliness of our past behind us and just look to the future and toward the possible good times.

So what I want to know is:
- What's a good way of at the very least attempting a friendship again?
- How do you get someone to stop ignoring you (like what would be a good thing to say?)
- How do you make someone reason with you in this situation?

Ok...that's all that I can think of for now...

Thanks in advanceee =)

i think that a good way to get him to listen and gain him back at the same time would be to write him a letter explaining why you would like to be friends again. the chances of him ignoring a letter is not very likely. what could giving it a try hurt ?
let me know how it all works out
lots of love,lizzie

Q: Oka well this is my probblem.My friends and i well we are kinda falling apart, like we dont talk to eachother that much like we use to.And also we havent spend that much times with eachother it just seems like we falling apart.It all started when school started back and we been busy latly with other things and what makes it worst is that we all dont live close to eactother so that makes it hard to just go to each other houses.I just want to know what should i do.How can be become closer like we were before.I really need your help on this!

try writing notes in school by passing them to ewach other in the hallways and that way you can get stuff off your shoulders and it should bring you closer. and hey dont forget hugs are in amazing thing ha ha
lots of love,lizzie

Q: In December I was best friends with this guy. We're both 16, I'm a girl. Well we were really good friends, hung out everyday even if for 5 minutes, and called eachother everyday etc. He told me in January he liked me but decided he just wanted to be friends. Then he stopped talking to me. I was confused and hurt, after being with him everyday and talking to him, not talking/seeing to him at all was a total shock. Eventually I talked to him about it, and he said he still wanted to be friends/have a friendship. To me, it didn't seem like he was trying, and it still doesn't right now. I tell him exactly, directly, up front what I expect of him, which isn't much, and he never follows through. He calls maybe once every week, and only to ask if he's missed the bus. We hang out once a week, sometimes not at all. I guess I just really miss our old friendship and we've talked about it numerous times, I promise. And it seems while we're talking that he gets it, and the next day usually everything's so much better. But then he starts with his old habits again, and I don't know what to do! I guess I'm just asking did he give up trying to be my friend because he doesn't like me anymore? That's what it seems like to me, but I really need some thoughts here. It's been awhile since January, and I'm still confused why he seems to not be making an effort at this friendship. I'm really hurt, and just need help please.

maybe he likes you alot and hes trying to decide weather to ve friends or more then friends with you.that would be a good reason to ignore you while he clears his head.what do you think
lwt me know how it all works out
lots of love lizzie

Q: i am a really insecure person and i am always getting teased about the way i look kids say things like what you looking at fatty and stuff like your never gonna get a boyfriend and if you did i feel sorry for him.and i have pimples anyway i can get rid of dem help me plz.

well now those kids are just ignorant.what you should do is go to a cheap store and pick out this gorgeous outfit,then order some acne stuff or what else works really good is bar soap on your face and you leave it on for like 5 minutes do that for like 2 weeks and your acne should be gone .then pick the day you want to look the prettiest and get up extra early and do your hair and a little but not to much make-up.trust me everyone has the power to be beautifull you just have to learn how to shoow it.
lots of love,lizzzie

Q: ur a pimp

okay thanks i guess your a wangster

Q: y r we friends

i dont no lol cuz i love ya
lots of love,lizzie

Q: my bff is colorblind~what do they see like black and white like a dog or what~this whole year hes been my bff~and i keep forgetting~like sendin color tests tht say like press different color buttons in order~what do colorblind people see

well not really they just dont se white and black,but they make bright colors dark,and dark colors light.
lots of love,lizzie

Q: I need some good teen friendship quotes.

not like by ben franklin or from the bible.

umm theres a really long one ,but here you go

allthoough its quite a statement it happens to be true the best friend i have ever have,im gld to say is you.Your there if i should need you ,you never turn away,i know i can depend on yu at any time of day.Some people have so many friends of who they spend their time,but no one has a best friend whos as wonderfull as mine.
So thanks for allways being there,your friendships allways true,and i just wanted to let you know,i will allways be there for you.

let me know how it all works out
lots of love,lizzie

Q: jackie, kelly and i are all good friends. jackie always follows kelly around at parties, like wherever she goes. it annoys me because then they leave me out of stuff sometimes, like all three of us could be talking and they'll randomly leave to go get a drink or go to the bathroom together and they leave me by myself. i have alot of other people i hang out with/can hang out with at parites and stuff but it's just times like that when they leave me that annoys me. advice?

try talking to them about it .If there really your true friends they will understand .just explain to them calmly !try saying something like "im not mad at you but i am feeling very left out"if they get mad then they werent friends that you need anyway.let me know how it all works out
lots of love,lizzie

Q: My friend and I have been growing apart, you know it happens. Well, she has other freinds that I know, and some are my actual friends. And now that me and her aren't that good of freinds anymore, I am worried she is going to tell her friends all of my secrets I told her in the past. What should I do?

well you should know her well enough that you could tell if she is going to tell people your secrets.but if you think that she really was your best friend then she wont tell your secrets.if she does then she was never yur friend to begin with friends never tell friends secrets(i learned that the hard way )and hey if sher tells to embarassing of a secret im sure you know some of her secrets as well.let me know how it all works out
lots of love,lizzie

Q: okay well my best friend told me that anotheror one of my frinds sisters is well....a prostatute.
i didnt believe it at first but i assure u its tre, shees about 17 and dropped out of college after a year and well she workes in a a local mall, but shees a prostatute aswell, now i really dont want tohurt my friends feelings but i want to tell him aswell so he can sort it out so do i tell him or not?

deffinitly tell him,but be very nice about it so he dosnt feel inbarrassed.maybe he or you could help her get out of prostitostion.its a very dangerous buissness
let me know how it all works out
lots of love,lizzie

Q: I think I'm completely disregarding my social life right now, to the point that I am extremely lonely. I have had one really close friend since elementary school and she was like the ONLY person I ever hung out with or had sleep overs with. I mean, I still go to parties ocassionally, but I don't have a close group of friends. And now my one best friend isn't in any of my classes and we hardly ever see each other anymore. I feel like I'm losing her. We are both so busy and have no time for each other. It's kind of sad. She has all of her volleyball friends that she hangs out with now, and I don't know most of them. I feel like such a loser. What's my problem??and how do i fix it??

maybwe you could try talking to some new people about stufff they like and ,or maybe try to talk to some of her volley-ball friends .if you care about your friend enough you will do everything you can not to loose her
let me knwow how it all works out
lots of love,lizzie

Q: There's this guy from my clique who likes to irritate me. But anyway, he makes fun of everyone. I'm rather close to him as in like I can talk to him. Both of us belong to the same clique and I guess i can talk to him pretty well as compared to the rest in my clique.

Recently, he kept criticising bout me. Whenever he knows a guy is interested in me, he'd be like "What?! He has really bad taste". There's this other guy who was interested in me and he happens to know that guy as well. So he was telling me "Ya, anyway, he has really bad taste. His favourite girls from the FHM magazine are all not nice."

And he likes to put me down, saying for eg "everyone in our class is quite pretty.. except for ___(my name)"

And when i just randomly told him that someone said i look like one of the girls from a pop group,(the girl is a tomboy) he'd say "ya , people say that you look like the ugly lesbian part of her right?"

And I'd be like OK FINE! just what the hell is your problem. Can someone tell me just what the heck is he doing cos he's really pissing me off a lot. And it's not like he's so handsome ok! He's not handsome at all! And I'll be like yeah what right do you have to criticise people's appearance.

maybe he just likes u as corny as it sounds guys somehow think it is attractive to tease girls (lol)just tell him look i dont find it attractive that ur teasin me,and i dont apprecheate you treating me like this so just back off.maybe he will listen up (guys are scared of girls )and if not ttake matters into your own hands (punc him ...lol)let me know how it all works out
lots of love,lizzie

Q: i have been friends with "sarah" since i was a little kid (we're both 15 now). recently sarah wanted to make a myspace. i practically made the whole thing for her since i am better with computers. i posted her first comment saying "heyy sarah whats up?". i looked at her myspace a couple days later it was gone. i assume she deleted it because sarah is really popular in school, and well im not. i think that she did not want to be associated with me because im a geek. i was really upset by this and havent talked to her in a while, and i dont if i want to. should i forgive her for being 2-faced? and if i should, should i tell her i know what she did?

well to me shes not a true friend i would ;leave her another comment saying "i didnt like you deleting my last comment seeing how i did prcticly your whole profile,i think i deserve a little bit more respect" a true friende wouldnt ignore you.
let me knw how it works out
lots ofr love,lizzie

Q: I just moved in to a house in Lake Park, NC. I have lived here for a week and I like this girl that lives across the street. I don't have the nerve to ask her out. Can someone tell me a good way to ask her out.

Signed,

newkid

iu would say you can deffinitly use your dog .Try walking over to her house with your dog and say "my dog wanted to appologise for her little runaway insident"that will strike up a conversation or maybe it wont .but before you leave say "my dog would also like me to give you my phone number ,he thinks your really cute" and then walk away .your gurinteed to get a call back.let me know how it all works out.
love,lizzie

Q: I live at a horseback riding stable and my mom is an instructor there. I have these friends and everyday after they are done working at the summer camp they come up to our house and eat lunch. Some days it feels like they just are my friends so they can come to my house. for the majority of them i know thats not true. And then they are always asking if they can eat or have something of ours and i cant exactly say no. A couple times in a row they have like cleaned our house because it is a little messy and they just clean it but they are really rude like oh we have to do it its to gross i cant look at it anymore,kind of rude. so then it makes me feel really bad. So my question is what do i do? They are being rude,esspecaily to my little sister. she is 12 (most of ther ages, im 14) but she is easy to pick on. how do i stand up to them and any other advice you have would be great

well ya dont have to be mean but that is very rude to be saying that about your house if they say "ohh we have to do this ,its so gross" calmly explain to them inn a low tone"you really dont have to because no one is telling you to ".and when they pick on your little sister just say "hey if you are going to be in the company of my family please respect them "and if they dont show em the door

let me know how it all works out
l8r,lizzie

bio

hey guys whats up im Lizzie .i love to give people advice and i sometimes need to ask others for advice if i dont know what to do .the most important thing i want everyone to know is that they shouldnt be ashamed to ask others for advice.it will get you far if u ask questions.im not here to tell people how to live there lives,im just here to help .so if u ever need advice or just want to make a friend im allways hear .hope to hear from u soon ,
lots of love,lizzie