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Why Can't We Be Friends?
I need some help in trying to gain back a friend. Our history is pretty, well very, complicated.
About 2 years ago we dated, only for 3 weeks but still. Then we broke up and he promised that we'd "still be friends". Except, much to my dismay, he actually meant it. And our friendship grew from there. We became even closer. Then he sorta started ignoring me for no reason. Then that stopped and we talked again. Then we made a mistake....we hooked up. So up until about 3 months ago, it was continuous hooking up + remaining close friends, then fighting, then not talking, then hooking up again, then fighting, then not talking. Then in February we had a huge fight that pretty much ended it all. Until a few weeks later, when we actually started talking again. Despite all the messiness and our huge fight, we were able to put that all behind us and have at least some semblance of a friendship again. The last time I saw him was on St. Paddy's Day, and things were pretty good between us. We talked a little after that and he even (in his own way) seemed kinda sorry and remorseful for the way he had been acting. Then one night I was talking to him online, and he gave me an attitude and he has been ignoring me ever since.
I left out a lot of the details of stuff that went down between us throughout all those times, but it's just too much to get into. And I'm not looking for reasons as to why he's ignoring me or why he does the things he does, because I don't even think he knows that. His ignoring me is most likely because he's moody and goes through weird phases of who he hangs out with and who he associates himself with. He's done this before, but we've gotten over it before. And I know the past has been rocky and hooking up always changes things, but I don't understand why it's IMPOSSIBLE to be friends again. I've had feelings for him for a long time, but I'm not interested like that anymore. I just want him as a friend again, because I really honestly miss the good friendship that we had.
Now, before anyone says "just get over him, he's not worth it" or "it can't be done, its way past being friends again", just be advised that I know that. And I've heard that before (hell, even from myself). But I guess I'm stubborn and I just refuse to believe that it's completely out of the question to be friends again. I'm totally willing to put all of the ugliness of our past behind us and just look to the future and toward the possible good times.
So what I want to know is:
- What's a good way of at the very least attempting a friendship again?
- How do you get someone to stop ignoring you (like what would be a good thing to say?)
- How do you make someone reason with you in this situation?
Ok...that's all that I can think of for now...
Thanks in advanceee =)
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
i think that a good way to get him to listen and gain him back at the same time would be to write him a letter explaining why you would like to be friends again. the chances of him ignoring a letter is not very likely. what could giving it a try hurt ?
let me know how it all works out
lots of love,lizzie
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first of all- if yaall are gonna be friends yaall cant be hooking up.. so if yaall get your friendship back.. dont! no matter what! second- try telling him that you want your friendship back and that you dont want anything to come between yaall anymore and if he ever needed you then you would be there for him.. if he wont talk then ask him what you did because whatever it was you were sorry and you want to fix it.. i hope that it all works out! hope this helps!
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