Hi everyone, my name is Ediemarie and I am only here to help. I offer this help to anyone who needs objective advice. Don't be too embarrassed or proud to ask me anything. I will answer all questions. If there is something that you just want me to answer, just email me and I promise I will get back to you as soon as I can.
No question is too simple or silly.
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Website: Chattin With Libra Rajani
E-mail: librarajani@gmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Midwest
Occupation: homemaker/writer
Member Since: August 13, 2008
Answers: 206
Last Update: April 22, 2010
Visitors: 14115
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so i have this classmate who is dating somone who lives near me but she lives far away. she always asks to sleepover my house, which i now realize is so that she can see him. whenever she sleeps over she she immeadiatly leaves in the morning to be with him and doesnt come back until the night. every time see ditches me to see him and never answers my texts when i ask where she is. She will sleep at my house friday night, leave in the morning until 7, come home and change and go with him to a movie, then come home and go to sleep. we dont really talk besides when she needs to stay at my house. I know i am being used and she does this to a lot of people and i must add that her bf is not very nice to me either. how do we get back at her for this?? (link)
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Hi,
the best way to get back at her is to take away what she wants the most. Don't let her sleep at your house. When she questions you about it, give her a piece of your mind and tell her to go and use someone else.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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When I first met these two girls I thought they were mean and bitches butwhen I got to know them we became bffs. They made me feel important and popular when I was with them but after 3 months they started to ditch me so I left them alone and took a hint. And I found out they did this two other people too. But the weird thing is they are starting to be nice again. So I want to know what this means and should I be friends with them and will they stay like this forever.
p.s they never wheat back to amy one before (link)
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Hi,
I am so sorry, I think I missed your question because my computer was down. Take no offense.
I think first impressions are the best impressions. You can be friends with them if you just want to have a good time, but as far as taking them seriously, I wouldn't. I wouldn't trust them to be loyal or trustworthy.
If they did it to you once, they'll do it again. Take it from someone who knows first hand. I hope this helped.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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My friend is having an affair with a married man. I found out he is also having an affair with another woman at the same time. Should I tell my friend? She keeps suggesting this man loves her and will leave his wife for her; however, I know he is giving the other woman the same line. He bought my friend a clock radio for Christmas, he bought the other woman a brand new Mustang. What should I do??? (link)
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Hi,
you should definitely tell your friend that she is making a costly mistake and to end the relationship. First of all, they never leave their wives. It's just a line to string her along. The fact that he is cheating on his wife with who knows how many women shows his character. Ask her if she is sure she wants to be with someone who is so disrespectful. Her self-esteem must be really low for her to be involved with such a person.
She deserves to be with someone who only has her on his mind. Definitely tell her what you find out. It may hurt her now and she may even call you a liar, but she will be better off in the long run and she will thank you for it. You owe it to her to tell her the truth. I hope this helped.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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17/f
I want to have attractive friends. Not all of them but.. I just do. What's with me? I want to have good looking friends that I can go out and have fun with. Friends that I can attract guys with, go shopping with, and take photos with. I don't know if I need some sense talked into me or if this is fine. I'm self confident and not afraid to be seen with the friends I have now but I'd just like a change. Please help. :) (link)
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Hi,
I don't think what you're feeling is too uncommon, but like you said, it is pretty shallow. Just because you're pretty on the outside doesn't mean you're pretty on the inside. When all of the pictures have been taken and the shopping has been done, do you have a genuine friend left on the inside.
More times than not, the pretty one is the one who is going to steal that man you're trying to attract. Think about it.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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To all you girls out there, I have a question/scenario. Here is your chance to give some good advice to a confused man. I had been dating this girl for about 4 months. Everything thing was going FANTASTIC! I played it cool - didn’t rush anything - Just had the most amazing time together. I came over a couple of days ago and she did a complete 180 on me and said it was not working for her anymore. That’s fine, we all go through it – Here is my question: She also told me that when she realized that she loved me - she realized that she could not be in a committed relationship. How do you take that? What do you do about it? Should you do anything? She said she was in basic panic mode and felt uncomfortable in any relationship. She had been single for 6 yrs before she met me. Any advice here is good and appreciated. Thanks! (link)
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Hi,
this is a good question. I think your ex got into a relationship with you thinking that it was going to be no different than any other relationship that she had been in. That was until she fell in love with you. She's probably scared to death. People back out of relationships when they get scared.
The fact that she had not been in a relationship for 6 years before you tells me that maybe she was hurt before. If this is the case, you may want to take more time with her and find out what's going on in her mind and in her heart.
If you agree and think this is the case as well, don't give up on her just yet. From the sounds of it, you were really into her.
She hasn't told you enough about why she called it off and you didn't ask enough questions.
If you want her, see it through 'til the end. I hope I helped and it works out for you the way you want it to.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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hii
well heres the story its pretty long.
last week was the last week of the holidays and i was chatting to my friend on the net and she just randomly says to f*#k off and that she hates me and never was really my friend. so i'm like really cofused and thinks she just going through some troubles at home so i leave it. later that week i try talking to her again and the same thing happens but this time she starts telling me that no one likes me and i'm annoying and to stay away from her and her friend who are also my friends. i got really up set and cried.Then school started and i styaed away from her as much as possible which is hard cause i'm in her roll call and i'm in the same group as her. Then all my friends started sitting down the back with her and stuff and some of my other friends told me that she was saying stuff about me and saying that i started it all and that she wanted to start a punch up with me and stuff. then last night her and another girl from my school started a convo with me and started like harassing me calling me a sped and just making fun og me basically. i think i'm going to tell my teacher whats going on. i saved the 2 convo's she had with me calling a hoe and stuff.I just don't know what to do about my friends like all my school friend from my group hate me. what should i do
p.s sooooo sorry for how long it is
xoxo thaks for the help (link)
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Hi,
my son had a very similar situation to yours not too long ago. It's basically all about hate.
For some reason unknown to me people get it in their heads that you think you are better than they are and they decide that they don't like you anymore. When in reality, they're the ones with the problem because they feel insecure about themselves. They know they can't tackle it alone, so they tell lies and bring other people into the situation for back up. They want other people to hate you to. Girls are known for this. They specialize in it.
I hate to say it, but like the previous columnist said, the school isn't going to do much about it unless they violate you in some way. It's tough.
I don't think talking to her is going to do any good. I know you don't want to be friends with someone who would treat you like that. She is an obvious bully and your friends have chosen to follow her.
I don't know how close you are with the other girls, but maybe you could get someone alone that you can trust and find out what her deal with you is. That might be a first step. Hopefully things will die down when they find someone else to harass. I feel for you. It's ridiculous.
At some point, you're probably going to have to stand up to her and just have it out. That's a last resort of course. Keep your head up. True friends will follow. I hope I helped in some way.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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yea.. I actually have a reason why I do not want to talk to him its because I am scared I will bother him and I do not want him to think that I am jeolous about him getting into a relationship, trying to interfere in his relationship and I do not want him to think that I like him.
I actually have had feelings for him before and I told him about it 4 years ago, and he started to avoid me even though he told me that he likes me and he had mixed feelings. Sometimes I really wonder does he not have a little feelings that he likes me cause he treats me really good for example when I was clubbing with him and his friends just 3 months back, I was drunk and I went to the dance floor to dance. I got dizzy and heading alone to our table to rest, and he saw me walking off alone from the dance floor. He followed me and he told me to hold his hand tightly while he leads the way to our table. Actually, up until now my feelings have developed more than just like but I always deny that I do not have feelings for him already cause I do not want him to avoid me again. He even told me that he thinks that he will not suit me as a boyfriend and he even asked me what type of guys do I like just 3 months ago. But I didn't know he will end up in a relationship with my friend(I am not close with her) last month. I am not sure whether he was hinting me or something cause I am really afraid the same thing will repeat again which will ruin our friendship over again. That's why I just keep the feelings to myself and not letting him know about it that I still love him up until today.
Thanks for the advice, but I really want to be there for him when he needs me... its just that I do not know when is the right time to be there for him cause now I think all his problems he will definetely share it with his girlfriend already... (link)
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Hi,
I kind of figured it was something like that. That's tough. It's hard to be around someone you have strong feelings for and watch them be with someone else. Everyone has been thtough it.
You're probably right. I'm sure he suspects that you would be uncomfortabe with the situation with his girlfriend because you told him how you felt. I think he trying to spare your feelings because he cares about you.
However, you don't know where this relationship is going with this girl. You don't know if it's going to last or not. So, my advice to you would be, for now to try and keep your feelings in check and just be his friend. Just show him that everything is the same. He'll come around. You don't have to mention anything about how you feel. YOu might be right about him distancing himself further.
He's not going to forget what type of friend you are. It's alright if there's a seperation right now and I know you want more. Don't give up hope. You never know what might happen.
Like they say girlfriends come and go friends are forever. She can't take that away. Keep me informed.
Always,
Ediemarie
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Okay so I've got these two friends Jessi, and Kayne. And last friday our school had a field trip. Well on the field trip we had to be split into groups.
Niether kayne me, or jessi had the same group so the field trip was pointless. Well anyways on the bus on the way there jessi and kayne sat by each other and it was cool they talked to me, no problem there.
However the thing was that when we got back onto the bus they sat by each other AGAIN. Only this time they didn't talk to me once till half way back to school. Kayne said " hey how was your group today" and then before I could say horrible he and jessi were back together chatting. They didn't say another word to me after that. so once we were at school it was 3:05 we got out at 3:10.
I was fed up with it so I finally said, why won't you guys talk to me. THEN things got interesting. They accused me of being jelous, and that it wasn't fair to them. That I shouldn't blame them for anything.
So now idk what to do. WHat should I do tomorow act like it never happened or ask for an apology or ignore COMPLETELY?
I tried to call but they don't pick up, and I KNOW they're home. I saw them.
I want things to go back 2 the way they were before.
(link)
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Hi,
I don't know the history of your friendship, but from my experience, 2 is company and 3 is definitely a crowd. I've been in this kind of thing before and it always turns out the same. I'm either on the inside or the outside. I don't know why that is. It's just that 2 of the 3 always seem to find more in common than the other or have the same views about the same thing.
It could be a matter of jealousy on their part for whatever reason. You're going to do nothing but stress yourself out worrying about it. YOu're never going to figure it out and I'm sorry for that.
It seems like they are already in allegiance with each other.
I would however talk to them for your own piece of mind. Ask for an explanation and tell them what their friendhip means to your.
That's really all you can do.
Definitely do not act like it didn't happen or they'll keep doing it. I really hope it works out. I'll be thinking about you. Keep me informed.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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your two reasons that you have given me was quite correct cause this is the first time he got into a relationship with a girl. And his girlfriend is one of my friends, so his girl knows that him and I were close. will my friendship with him goes back to normal once his infatuation stage is gone? how long will it last usually? I really miss those days with him, can there other ways how I can repair this friendship/the gap which has grown between us that tearing us far apart other than talking to him? (link)
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Hi sweetie,
I'm glad you got back to me and I'm happy to help you with any further advice.
The infatuation stage can last between 2 to 4 months, but I don't think you should wait that long to talk to him. It might further strain the relationship.
Is there some particular reason why you don't want to talk to him? Are you sure you just want to be friends with him?
Try this suggestion; invite the two of them and some other friends out or over for some fun. While there, mention to them that you are happy that they found each other and you hope it works out. Remember, you want to make her feel secure. Are you and she close?
Your relationship with him probably bothers a a lot since you were so close. It will also put him at ease and he will feel comfortable talking to you again.
Remember right now this is new for him. He has not forgotten you. Just be there for him when he needs you. In the meantime get out and have some fun with your other friends. Keep me informed.
As always good luck,
Ediemarie
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Hello,
I have a friend and her 13 y/o daughter who are driving me crazy. They are living with my family at the moment (for free) and I have helped her out with thousands of dollars in which I am now very bitter about, but that is besides the point. I am normally a very giving and patient person, but I am at the end of my rope and about to blow.
These two disagree with every single thing my son/daughter or I have to say. It doesn't matter if I say the sky is blue, they'd say it's green. I can't even hold a conversation with either of them. Typically I just say "I see your point" or "oh really" and back off for the sake of not arguing. It's insulting to do so, because many times they are not correct--but are know it alls.
How does one deal with people like this? (link)
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Hi,
from the sounds of your question, it seems as though you are one of those people pleaser such as myself.
YOur friend was in a bind and of course you wanted to help. It was the right thing to do. Did you think about it throughly before you invited them into your house rent free or was it one of those spur of the moment things? Either way can't be bitter about it now. It was your choice. It sucks. I know. I don't know their family situation.
I just hope that she is not using you. It sounds like she is beginning to take advantage just a bit. I understand your anger. I have a been there too many times to write about.
When people figure out how good natured you are, they take advantage. It lets you know what kind of friend she is. Don't sweat it.
However, you have to get them out of your house. If that's really what you want, go to her like a woman and tell her "I know I invited you and your family to stay and I really want to help you and I still do. But the situation as it is is not working out the way I hoped.
I want you and I to remain good friends, but I think it's best for you to move out. I will give you time to find a new place. I will even help you if I can. I still want the best for you."
If you don't do this, your resentment is going to build and you are going to really blow your top and you and your friend are going to end up enemies. Believe me she will respect you for your decision and she'll also know not to take advantage of you and your good nature again.
It's the first step into standing up for yourself. I hope I helped. It worked for me in similiar situations.
Good luck,
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I have a best friend which is a male while I am a female. We used to hang out alot in the past by going for movie, have lunch/dinner together and doing all sorts of crazy things until late midnight. We are so close till he will care for me when I am sick/sad and he usually shares his problem with me, and vice versa. We used to sms till late midnight too when we need someone to keep as companian when we're bored. Things had changed recently when he told me that he has a girlfriend. I was happy for him to get into a relationship but on the other hand, I was sad because I know things will not be the same anymore as it used to be. I know we won't do all these crazy things like we used to do before he got into a relationship. Somehow, I felt that he has forgotten me and he doesn't seem to care about me anymore now. Whenever I sms him, he replies very short as though he doesn't want to sms with me, giving me all sorts of reasons to avoid me (eg: phone low battery, busy) and there is no word of concern from him anymore. Last time when he was busy, he will definetely get back to me when he is free. I am very sad over this issue as I do not know how to handle this. I thought of forgetting him as my best friend and move on, but its difficult to do it. I have known him for about nearly 8 years now. What should I do? I really need an advice to overcome this problem and I always think of how boring my life will be without my best friend. How can I solve this friendship between him and I, I just want things to be like last time. Should I move on and forget my best friend? (link)
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Hi,
No, I don't think you should move on and forget about him. From what you have said in your case you have been friends a long time and have been through a lot of things together.
I know you are probably hurt byt what he is doing right now, but I can almost promise you that he will come around and start acting like the best friend you have come to love.
There could be two reasons why he is treating you this way. One, he is new to the relationship that he is in and he is in the infatuation stage. You have to be a little more empathetic to him. He likes her and he wants to be with and talk to her all the time. It is only natural.
Two, he might have told his girlfriend about you and she is not too comfortable about him being so close to another female. This is understandable too. Don't you think.
I would suggest that you call him and ask can the two of you meet and talk about your friendship. It seems as though the two of you are close enough and you can tell him how you feel. Tell him that you understand he's in a relationship, but you miss him and you feel hurt.
Let him take it from there. I'm sure it will work out because after all when you meet that special boy that you really like you are going to want that same understanding from him. I hope I helped.
Good luck,
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I was friends with this guy since the 2nd grade and this last summer i realized what kind of person he is when he's older, two-faced so my question is do I give him a call to talk about this issue [AGAIN] or ignore him and get on with my life? (link)
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Hi,
since you have been friends with him for so long, I would definitely call him out one it and ask him what the heck is going on with him. Ask him does he have some kind of problem with you and maybe the two of you can talk about it.
It all boils down to how much you value the friendship. How much is it worth to you to work it out. I hope I helped.
Good luck,
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my friend (girl) has a problem with guys.When she was younger (around 9years old or may be younger),a relative used to masturbate in front of her and to abuse her sexually.He used to open the toilet door when she is using the toilet, and things like that.She didn't tell me she was raped but she told me this terrifies her.Now she doesn't trust any guy and she's afraid when she is left alone with a guy.How can i help her to get over this problem and go on with her life?I really want to help her but don't know how!!! (link)
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Hi,
I don't think there's anything you can do for your friend right now except to listen to her and let her know that you are there for her.
She is reaching out asking for help and she needs to talk to someone who is educated in this field. I would advise her to try talking to her parents. If that is not an option, I would definetly tell her to try and go on the web and seek out counselors who could steer her in the right direction.
This is a horrible thing to have happen to her. She cannot just forget it and move on with her life. It is not that simple.
Maybe you can be there with her when she is looking for a counselor.
Good luck to you and her,
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