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argumentative nonappreciatve friend
Hello,
I have a friend and her 13 y/o daughter who are driving me crazy. They are living with my family at the moment (for free) and I have helped her out with thousands of dollars in which I am now very bitter about, but that is besides the point. I am normally a very giving and patient person, but I am at the end of my rope and about to blow.
These two disagree with every single thing my son/daughter or I have to say. It doesn't matter if I say the sky is blue, they'd say it's green. I can't even hold a conversation with either of them. Typically I just say "I see your point" or "oh really" and back off for the sake of not arguing. It's insulting to do so, because many times they are not correct--but are know it alls.
How does one deal with people like this?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Your friend seems to be using you because she knew that she can count on you to say yes. You said that even when the are wrong they still argue. I would commend you for backing down, but the fact of the matter is it your house and you should never let someone who is living there (rent free) disrespect you like that. You seem like a great person and you also seem like you have a lot of love to give, but this person is taking advantage of your kind heart. Friends, true friends don't do that. Another thing, before you erupt and say things that you may not mean you should tell her how you feel. You owe it to yourself and your friend to tell her how you feel. Hope this helps!!!!
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Hi,
from the sounds of your question, it seems as though you are one of those people pleaser such as myself.
YOur friend was in a bind and of course you wanted to help. It was the right thing to do. Did you think about it throughly before you invited them into your house rent free or was it one of those spur of the moment things? Either way can't be bitter about it now. It was your choice. It sucks. I know. I don't know their family situation.
I just hope that she is not using you. It sounds like she is beginning to take advantage just a bit. I understand your anger. I have a been there too many times to write about.
When people figure out how good natured you are, they take advantage. It lets you know what kind of friend she is. Don't sweat it.
However, you have to get them out of your house. If that's really what you want, go to her like a woman and tell her "I know I invited you and your family to stay and I really want to help you and I still do. But the situation as it is is not working out the way I hoped.
I want you and I to remain good friends, but I think it's best for you to move out. I will give you time to find a new place. I will even help you if I can. I still want the best for you."
If you don't do this, your resentment is going to build and you are going to really blow your top and you and your friend are going to end up enemies. Believe me she will respect you for your decision and she'll also know not to take advantage of you and your good nature again.
It's the first step into standing up for yourself. I hope I helped. It worked for me in similiar situations.
Good luck,
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I think what you need to do is lay down the law. Sit her down and start by saying i'm sick of the arguing so lets talk calmly and appropriately in an adult manor. Then go on to say that she isn't treating you the right giving the circumstances--your giving her a lot for nothing in return. Just basicly say that you diserve some respect. Here her side to. COme to an agreement. She might have to move out just to save you friendship. If your that important to her and shes that important to you, you'll do anything to get back on good terms. While you are agreeing with her your showing her that she can do what ever she wants in YOUR house. And that she can get away with everyhting. Next time be like i understand where you are comming from, but i fell like... and explain your self, if it developes into an arguement just be like okay, this constant argueing needs to come to an end. And it does, You shouldn't feel like this in your own home.
Try talking it out and if that doesn't work then maybe its your friends time to move out.
Also, don't talk to her kid. Talk streight to your friend. It will develope into a non fixable fight, trust me!
good luck!
-E
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