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April 2, 2004Answers:
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adviceprincess
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I am a very hard worker. I am studing to become a Psychologist . I am very good at giving advice. I specialize in relationships but i will answer just about anything. Do you need advice or help with a problem then i am here to help you. My column is for everyone young and old. It will be a place to express to me what you feel. If i have learned one thing, it is that you can deal better with a problem by telling someone about it and getting their imput. Never be embarrased you have nothin to loose with my column. I hope you all feel comfortable. I am here just to provide help and advice. Tell me your problem!
advice
Okay, well I am in 6th grade. Me and my best friend have been soo close through elementary school and are families are so close and we even own a beach house togehter. Well, see Through out this month we have started to grow apart. She is trying to be like her older sister (preppiesh) and like that but before she started wanting to be like her older sister she hated the way preps were and that they were retarted and stuff. Well, now she has become a prep and is being someone she isn't. She used to hate this one prep and now she is like trying to be her closet friend. I hate the way she is being. I am hopeing it is just a phase but if it isn't I think we will be spilt up and stuff. I wish I could tell her this but since we are growing apart I don't know what to do. I used do everything to be her best friend because she wanted to end the friendship but now it's different I don't know if I would really care to not be her best friend. I have a boyfriend and since this one night I haven't told her really much about him. I don't know why I want to but then there is something stopping me. I need help. She thinks I don't trust her anymore but I don't know if that is true or not?? Please help!
It sounds like a phase to me. But like you said you never know. I would try talkin to her. But start out with.. Hey I just wanted to ask you if you think that you have changed at all... if she says no then start askin her who she thinks is her best friend, and have her stores that she buys her clothes at changed. Try to show her that things are not right. Also, just wait til next year in midde school everything changes. litterally EVERYTHING.. people split off into so amny groups and other schools come together. Just keep a place for her there and if she ever comes cryin back make sure that you tell her you arent goin to be there for her unless she can say she wont walk out on you like she did here. Good luck
If she says anything just tell her " some people come into your life and walk back out with no effect; others come into your life and leave footprints on your heart" Ask her what she thinks your shoe size is because most likely you left footprints.
well this guy I have been good freinds with for a long time. And I like him, and a while back he liked me too. But that;s been put on hold because he's going out with this other girl... anyway, lately he has been walking away when I talk to him and it seems like he's pretending I'm not there, or he justdoesn't want me there. it hurts because I really like him and I miss the friends thing. What should I do?
Get your nerve up girl.. you gotta ask him what is wrong. Ask him if he stills wants to be your friend. Or the next time that you are talking to him ask him to repeat the last 5 things that you said. And make it really simple like walk up and say hey whats up with you today if he cant remember the way that you greeted him then there is somethin wrong with him. Ask him if he still wants to be friends and really start talkin to him again. Hope that helps Good luck
Alright, I'm letting you all know right now this is going to be lengthy. Over a year ago, I was dating this guy and we broke up after 4 months of dating because of problems and whatnot. I found out after we broke up that he was doing so many things behind my back like smoking pot (I'm disgusted by that) having sex with other girls, touching other girls at school, etc. We broke up, I moved on then came summer and then my first year of highschool. A long lost friend I guess you could say, met up with me and told me she met this GREAT guy and told me his name. I told her that he was an asshole he treats girls like crap don't date him he'll break your heart, yadda yadda yadda. They dated for about 2 months and broke up because shockingly enough, he was cheating on her. She came to me apologized for being a bitch and not listening to me and I forgave her. Now, about a week after they broke up I found out that he was trying to hook up with some girl. She's an innocent girl and a complete sweetheart that should not be dating a guy like him. I told her how he was and she didn't believe me. I have been trying to prove for the longest time to her (they're still dating, it's been 5 months) that he's a lying, cheating, bastard. So I got one of my friends to act as if she had a crush on him and talk to him online and see what his reaction would be. Sure enough, he accepted the offer of getting head from her, making out with her, and even getting sex from her. We saved the conversation and printed it out and showed it to her the next day. She didn't believe a word of it, so she showed it to him and his excuse was that his friend was over and they were just joking around. My friend pulled out her cellphone and read off a number and said "Is this you're boyfriend's cell phone number?" and sure enough, it was. After that day, he IMed her and said this "Baby, why'd you have to start shit today, I didn't want her knowing about that!" Which proves my point that he's a lying, cheating, bastard. I'm fed up with trying to deal with her not believing me. But it bothers me so bad that he's doing all this to her! She hates my guts because she claims I'm trying to break them up and me and a good friend of hers almost got into a fight (fists, hair pulling, slapping.. typical girl fight). I decided not to even bother anymore, but I feel so horrible just sitting here, seeing what he's doing to her and not being able to do ANYTHING about it because she won't belive me! I think that now she's begining to see what he's doing to her but I really don't want to forgive her for what she put me through. Should I keep trying to point out the blaitenly obvious? Or should I let her figure it out on her own? IF she ever figures it out and they break up and she comes crying to me, what should I do? I don't want to forgive her! Please help, this is so confusing for me. Sorry it was so long.
You have every right to be mad. I would not be the happiest girl aloive if mine ever did that to me. The best thing I can tell you is that you have to let her figure it out on her own. In the mean time try mending the torn friendship. Just tell her that you were wrong even though you so know that you are not. Become close friends with her again so that atleast when the little bastard does ruin her life you can be there for her to fall back on. Also, you can be close to her so that if he ever tries to get her to have sex you can tell her not to that it is not worth risking pregnancy. The best thing that you can do now is try to help her with the relationship. So that she won't get crushed as hard when the time come. Even though you don't want to forgive her and she may be the biggest bitch you ever knew I would rather help the bitch so she doesnt get pregnant then watch her suffer with the hurt of gettin dumbed and possibly being pregnant. Sometimes you have to take the harder path it will pay off in the end. You will have to put up with a lot but just think about the day when he dumps her and you are the only one that she has to be there for her. If you dont think that that will work then you maybe as a last resort just tell her to come to this site explain the situation to some people and then we can all comment on it. Maybe then she will realize that you could have some knowledge. Don't get to stressed out and just be happy that you are not the one that is blin to the relationship anymore. Wish you luck
Advice for Teens
ok long story short>>>i got caught shopliftin.....(my friends had nothin to do wit it)......**dont tell me anythin about the shopliftin like its bad or anythin bc i undastand everythin that happened**....but my friends mom is pissed at her bc she is the one i was stealin shit 4....but i still dont want her to take anypart of it ....and im only aloud over her house if i talk to her parents but how would i start up a convo wit her parents?
if you dont mention anything about shopliftin is bad or anythin like that ill rate high...thanx
You could start out the convo with " I understand that you are mad at me but i think that you shoudl give me another chance. After all i was stealin for your girl. Tell her that you understand the consequences and you are willing to take responsibilty. That should work... just make her believe that you are ready for anything that she could possibly throw at you as far as questions. answer everything in a complete logical answer so that she knows you are being truthful. Wish you luck!!!!!
-- Advice for teens --
Well...It started out as:
This guy IMed my friend and she added him to a chat we were having.Well after my friend left we started talking and he gave me his other screen names. We talked/talk everyday. Well, we got really close...and now I think I may be starting to develop feelings for him.
Is it wrong that I might like him as more than a friend if I've never met him face to face? I don't know if I should...because...well,I'm almost positive he is NOT a paedophile...but one can never be to sure. I don't want to get hurt like that, but I just want to know if its wrong to have a little crush on him.
It is ok to like him. really that is the best way because you get to know him by personality not looks. which can sometimes blind people of the real heart and soul of someone. On the other hand meeting him can be dangerous like you said. If you wanted to meet him have your parents go with you and maybe a friend to stand by your side so that if somethin happens there are witnesses definatly do it in a popular area where there are people and if they arent who they say they are they wont be as tempted to make a move. For example in a restraunt is probably the best. And like i said it is ok to like him it could open your eyes to another person that you have never seen someone that you know just by the way that their mind thinks and the things that he goes through. I hope that you have luck in what ever you seek. And please be careful! I cant say that enough.
Ever since fifth grade ive had a 2 really close friends that were like the only ones i ever hang out with. But one of my friends is also in this group of girls who im friends with but they always look like they have so much fun! I really want to hang out with more people but how do i do that with out acting like a tag along?
If I were you I would just slowly start to talk to the other people in the group like on your own time. Or maybe ask your friend if she could introduce you to some of the people. Then sooner or later kind of start inviting some of the girls over for a sleep over. And just really get to know them. good luck
My best friend just became really close to this girl named Briana. Briana's really fun to talk to, but I recently found out some bad stuff about her; she cheats on her boyfriends, backstabs all her close friends, and she smokes pot. She told me about the pot thing and even asked if I wanted to join her! I, of course, said no. I don't know how to tell my best friend, because she'll accuse me of lying because "Briana's so nice!" I'm just scared that Briana will get my friend into smoking and stuff. HELP.
Well, you are in a pretty hard place between these two people. You should still try to tell your friend she diserves to know the truth even though it might hurt. If that still doesn't work try to get your friend to catch briana in the act. If nothing seems to sork try just backing up your friend and giving her self-esteem. The number one reason that people start smoking is because they are not confident in themselves and peer pressure can easily take them over. I hope that everything works out! Bye.
I want men to die... is this normal?
yes many times when a gurl is hurt they usually take revenge against their male counter part
I have liked this guy for a really long time and i really want to go out with him. He really likes me too. The problem is neither one of us is brave enough to ask the other one out. So do you think i should make the first move or wait for him. I hear him talking about me all the time. What should i do?
I think you should wait alittle longer and see what happens in the next week or so. If he is still really flirty then go for it. And if he says no then maybe that is the reason he didn't ask you out in the first place. He maybe insecure with you right now. or he just wants to be friends...and that is ok maybe you will go out later. I wish you luck in whatever you decide.
When 2 of your friends are fighting and your in the middle stuck and dont know what side to choose on what do you do? Like one person would want me to sit with them and the other one would be like lets all move away from her and i dont know what to do i mean i am friends with all of them but they make it seem like it is wrong to hang out with that person just b/c that person is different and people already make fun of her behind her back and everything. I am stuck in the middle so what do i do ?
I have had many fights that seem to always trap me in the middle. You need to sit down with your friends, both of them, and talk. If that doesn't work then you need to tell them that you are not going to sit with any of them until they settle it. It will be really hard but which would you rather have, being torn between two friends or not talking to either on of them for two or three days. It is all up to you. The way it sounds you just need to understand both sides of the story and who knows it could all be a big misunderstanding.
Therse this guy from a different School from me and hes my BFF and I tell him everything and he gets involeved w/ me N my friends fight over the internet and my friend im upset with thinks its me WHAT DO I DO?!
First of all if he is getting involved with you and your friends fights that is not his place. He is there to back you up not impersinate you online! If it is such a problem then you really need to tell him to stop. You also need to settle things with your friends and if that doesn't work your friends are not worth having if they make you that mad. i hope my advice helped cheer up and have fun.