Short_N_Punky's advice column | Short_N_Punky's Advice About Friendship

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Q: Hi I'm Liv, 15 and I've met this guy named Barry (going 17) on xbox 360 live. And our friendship started when we started chatting on facebook. We've been chatting for a year and 3 months. We are quite far he is in New York while I'm in Hawaii. I never moved Hawaii since then. We planned to meet but my mom won't allow me. He is very nice guy and I'm inlove with him. I know that he likes me too. What should I do with this? Is it wrong to be inlove with someone you don't even see? And I really want to see him.

You are very young... but no its not you just have to keep in the back of your mind is he really 17? until you see him i wouldnt get to involved i suggest talking on phones and or get a web cam or something so you guys can talk that way and see each other. I was involved with a guy for 5 years long distance for about 3 until i was old enough to move with him but we wernt so far apart and we visited each other during the summer with our parents. Just be careful because until you actually see him and or talk to him and see him you just never know... stay safe love

Q: Hello i am a 17 year old girl who is having a relationship crisis. I am really good friends with a girl who is one year older than me. We have been friend for quite a while now. I am very nice, loyal and trustworthy. I consider myself a people pleaser because I worry about other peoples happiness then me being happy my self. We are such good friends the we can literally predict on how we will react and what we will say. We care allot about each other that we will call ourselves sisters.

But a few months into our friendship She told me a small lie about her being friends with a spirit named Atem. Even though I did not buy it I told her I believed it just to be nice and for the sake of getting into an argument. I also began to see another side of her... I got to see her need and craving to constantly date someone. If she is single she will be depressed and very emotional. And since I am the phone with her all the time I end up hearing it. i began getting stressed and sad that i could not do anything to help her.

She than said that Atem her (her spirit friend)made a new friend named Nightmare, and she told me he loved me. She would talk to me about how much he loved me. I started to get the idea that she liked me, and began to like her a little.

Later on she made a Facebook and Gaiaonline for him. I ended up seeing him on the internet. I did not know what to think or do about him loving on me on the internet. I then started to have feelings for her. But at the same time i was confused, because she would tell me how much she hated bi/and les people. She would rant about it allot.

She began acting romantic towards me at her house. She would lick, pin and touch me (not in a very sexual way) she told me on the later that "Nightmare" was possessing her. She would do this every single time i visit her. I began to really like her.

I then started to get depressed. It started to hurt seeing her sad about not being with someone, and i am not able to help her. It hurt even worse when i watched her dating someone and hearing how much she loved him. I feel like i am not good enough for her, and it's very hard to hold in all my emotions so she wont know how i feel.

I sometimes consider just stop hanging out with her, but a part of me just cant let go of her because i am horrible at making friends and I don't think I will ever find a good friend like her. I really want to tell her i knew the spirit thing was all a lie and how i feel about her. But I am afraid that she will get mad at me or even worse, hate me.

Its all my fault for believing her little lie. I was just trying to be nice, and I get myself all into this mess. I get so depressed every day to the point were i want to cry and I sometimes wish that I could just sleep my whole life. I cant take it anymore. I am hurting so bad on the inside. I am tired of living a lie. :(

Well, my advice to you is you have to start loving yourself and learn to be happy even if others arnt. It is sad when someone you care about isnt happy but if youv tried helping and there is nothing you can do than thats that, dont get depressed about it you tried. Next if your getting upset because you have feelings for her than you need to tell her how you feel about her because your risking your own emotional health bottling it up inside. About your friend she seems just a little weird for me i am into the spirit realm and i believe in all those things but what your telling me isnt normal seems like she has a problem that she needs to seek help for. Alot of people who are scared of coming out of the closet talk ill about homosexuality thats nothing new. I myself am Bi and it was VERY hard to come out and tell people expecially people close to me. But anyways just tell her how you feel and tell her about your hunches and if she makes fun or does anything to hurt your emotional well being she isnt a very good friend. As for this \"nightmare\" on facebook id stop talking to her that way because that is childish and just feeding her poor choices. Good luck hope iv helped some.

Q: My sister hates me, has all my life. I'm a lady in my late 50's and she a couple years younger. We have lived different lives but I am as nice as I can be to her. Anyway, she is turning every friend I have against me. She even turns family from me if she can. I think she must lie about me. She tells my facebook friends things I done 10-20 years ago when I was young and single but dumb stuff, you know. I barely have a friend left. What in the world do I do. I'm on a chemo pill 4 times a week and have alot of health problems. I have nobody but my brother and she is working on him. I just don't get it. She is married to a husband with a good job, she doesn't have to work, has 3 grown up kids that are doing good and 3 grandkids. I live alone in a one bedroom apt in a big city with no family of my own. The major difference in us though is that I'm always happy. She broods all the time. I really wish she would look at all she has. I just don't get it.

Well, first things first i would block her from your facebook. I know it is horrible to think that you have to do this to your own family but sometimes it is neccessary. Next you have to think of it this way you can always meet new friends. And if your current friends believe her and no longer want to be your friend then they wernt worth your friendship in the first place. I to have no friends and havnt for about 4 years... I do not get along with my sister and half of my family hasd turned on me. But keep yourself positive you are the richer person in karmas eyes.

Q: hi i was wondering about my question i just went on kind of a date with my boyfriend and my family and the way his actions were tell me some thing but i dont know what they mean during the hole movie je kept on looking at me and sitting close to me and then passed the pop corn over to my dad and his face would come close to mine and he would look at me when he did that and then sat back down what do u think he was thinking when he looked at me and do u think he wantd to kiss me and hold my hand? pleaase let me know

Sorry i couldnt get back to you sooner iv had a couple things going on.. But i think he probably fealt a little funny with your family there and yes i do think he wanted to hold your hand and kiss you. Guys are shy just like us and they feel more comfy with just themselves and you there. Or another reason he might have not done it maybe hes not shy but just doesnt want to kiss you because maybe he thinks you dont want to move that fast. If you want to kiss him let him know. If you need good tips with that send me another message. Hope iv helped let me know how it turns out.

Always
Short N Punky

Q: Okay...so my friend is deaf and i've known her for like a year and i picked her -from secret santa- and i was wondering wat would a deaf girl like for Christmas. I know she likes:

*PS2

*action games

*pets-i cant get her a real pet-

*movies

*Hannah Montana

*Electronics in general

Ohh...BTW she's 12

-website would be AWESOME- THX!
xoxo

A deaf girl is just like any other girl think of something creative make something for her. That really is the best gift i think my friends have made me things and i still have them. Or if you want go to the store and get her something fancy and stuff. Its really all your choice im getting a kid a box of cereal for secret santa.

Short N Punky

Q: I have a best frined in the whole world. I'm 13 and we litterly grew up together. But she had this friend a while ago who was her 2nd best friend then hurt her badley nad then hated her. But now she forgave her and there close freinds again but not as close as befor. But i hate that girl she hurt my Best freind and i could never forgive her again. But should i be frineds with the girl since there friends? because i dnt think i can forgive her. should I or should i not>

Usually there is only one of me giving advice but today there is two me and my friend. Personally if you feel that you dont like her and she hurt your friend badly your instincts are perfectly honest. Just because your friend is friends with someone doesnt mean that you have to be friends with them to. You dont have to be friends twith the same people your friends are with. I have a friendwho is friends with this girl and i hate her guts and she knows that and accepts that. You should tell your friend and tell er how you feel about the situation and if she is a ture friend to you she will understand and wont hang out with this girl the same time your hanging out with her.

Q: hi, well whenever this guy that i dont like goes and talks to this girl, which is just my friend, i get really jealous. this guy is sort of my friend, but i really dont like him. i get jealous soo easily, i hate it. any advice?

Yes get over it and face your gut feeling stop trying to hide your thoughts. The reason you get jealous when you see this is because you do like him its just your mind is trying to deny it. Either get over the facts or just stop hanging around him or the girl. There really isnt much you can do. I hope that i helped a little and write me back i love to hear how it worked out.

Short N Punky

Q: so my friend hates her life and her mom and stuff and idk what to do for her. it seems like theres nothing i can do, you know? so what should i do to kinda get her to appreciate her home-life more, and make her feel better about herself. because shes so pretty and shes always like "i dont think im pretty and i cant get guys" and stuff like that...so yeah, 5's for any help? thanks.

You cant change who someone is just keep trying to make her feel better about herself. All you really can do is just be a friend to her and thats all. You and her go to like a movie or go have fun then when she brings it up just joke about it say "yeah i know life sucks but hey what ya gonna do" if she agrees just tell her the one thing thats gonna be good is you and her gonna grow old and fat together. Just try to make her laugh thats one thing you can always do. Hope iv helped a little write me back id love to hear how it turned out.
~*~ Short N Punky ~*~

Q: So I have 2 really close friends (or so I thought...) and well in about late april, they kinda stopped talking to me and stuff so I made a bunch of other friends and it was ok but I was still wanting the 2 back because I didnt think I had totally lost them. So anyway, I ended up smoking pot in early May. I know, not a great choice, but I did it because I wanted to and I know all the consequences. Well word got out at school and stuff and I denied it of course but I ended up telling my 2 friends the truth. Then when I asked them why they wont talk to me, they blame it on the pot and "breaking their trust" even though I never promised i wouldnt. Keep in mind, I never pressured them into stuff like that ever. What should I do now? Do they just not want to be my friends anymore and are trying to find excuses or what? Let me know if you need more info & thanks in advanced. I really appreciate it.

Well my advice to you is get over them because obviously they are trying to find excuses. No offence but i think since iv had something like this happen before they are more than likely talking about you when your back is turned. If youv found other friends that is great leave them because there not worth your time you just concentrate on your new friends if they dont want to be your friend its there loss not yours.

Short N Punky

Q: okay...
1.my friend nikki called me a bitch and started a "I HATE JC" club.
2.she called me a bitch again, then said that she was sorry, and that it would never happen again.
3.i tell her that i'm too big a bitch to continue to be her friend, and get her to cry.
4.told out by most of my friends and people at school that i don't even like.
5.my crush helps me out by talking with me
6.lost 10 of my friends in 1 day

NEED MAJOR HELP!!! will rate good answers

Wow! seems like you just got into a big pickle didnt ya. What i would do is try to make some better friends and just keep away from the old ones. Because its obvious that they are childish and wernt your true friends. Iv had people like that before but they grow out of it. Just give it time and mean while try to make new friends it may be hard but you can do it. Hope iv helped write back and good luck.

~*~ Short N Punky ~*~

Q: Well, every year for my church we have this thing called efy. some might know this. well it is basically a week long coed camp and we have different groups. it is always fun to do cute things for the guys like "heart attack" the elevator, write chalk on the campus outside. and just different things. anyone have ANY ideas as to what things us girls can do this year? it would be greatly appreciated =)

I would love to help you i really would but i really dont understand what your asking and what you want help in. And if i dont im almost positive noone else really gets it either. Make your question more simple and less confusing.
Sorry i couldnt help.

~*~ Short N Punky ~*~

Q: theres this kid in school whos "somewhat" popular becuz hes really good looking. I want to become friends with him but i dont want to just go up to him and say "hi i want to be your friend"..how weird is that..what should i do??

If you have a class with him try and be partners with him. And if that doesnt work start talking to some of his friends and soon they will start bringing you around him and thats a sure way to get his attention. Good luck hope iv helped a little. Write back if you need any more help.

~*~ Short N Punky ~*~

Q: I'm worried about my friend, she's involved with a guy that makes a fool out of her every chance he gets. i try to tell her that she should just leave him alone but, she wont listen. should i just let her be and sit back while she's being made a fool of?

You tried to tell her and she didnt listen, then shes being stubborn you tried to help now all there is left to do is stand back and watch her fall. Its a hard thing to watch but theres really nothing more you can do but keep trying.
Hope iv helped good luck let me know how things turned out.
~*~ Short N Punky ~*~

Q: me and my best friend have been friends for almost 3 years now. this year though we have been fighting more. im moving in a couple months so its kinda sad that are last year together is like this. how do we stop fighting as much??? 13/f

Well it depends on what your fighting about, just go and talk to her ask her why she is arguing with you or the other way around. If your moving then try to become good friends again just talk to her if she says something you dont like, dont get huffy and mad about it just understand that is her point of veiw and her opinion. I have had friends like that but she didnt even want to talk nor look at me more or less talk to me. And we were friends for a very long time since 5th and during 7th she just up and wanted nothing more to do with me. But what im trying to say is just go and talk with her dont yell or try to get your point across by trying to be bigger than she is. Let me know how it turns out. Hope iv helped a little.

~*~ Short N Punky ~*~

Q: What would you do if one of your close friends was dating a guy she really likes and he tells you that he has feelings for you instead? Would you tell your friend?

I did. I knew it would hurt her but it just wouldnt be right if they continued dating and I knew that while he's with her, he has feelings for me. It wouldnt be fair to her.

But instead of her thanking me for looking out for her, it seems as if she thinks I'm trying to keep them apart, as if Im lying or something.

The guys sister, who is also a close friend of mine as well, doesnt believe me either. Everyone thinks I'm lying, but the thing is, I have proof. Everything he said to me was by text and I didnt delete them yet.

I dont understand them. Im not the type of person who would make things up. I wouldnt try to mess up someones relationship for no reason. But I'm still viewed as the bad person.. and honestly, it really hurts me to know that none of my friends believe me. My friend knows that I'm not lying though because I've read her the text messages.. yet, Im still viewed as wrong. And even still, she continues to date him knowing that the damn guy has feelings for me. I dont know how anyone would settle for a person who has feelings for another person at the same time. Its just stupid..

I really need advice because its really hurting me to know that these girls do not see that Im only trying to be a true friend..

(By the way, the guy, he is a cool guy. We got along well, prior to when he told me he liked me. But I never ever viewed him as someone Id try to get with because I already have a man in my life that I love and who I only want to be with. So I dont want anyone to think that the reason I told her was because Im trying to get with him.. which even she may already think.)

Thank you for any advice.

20/f

My advice to you is if she still didnt believe you after you told her and her friend. The nshow them both your text and if they think that you typed that up on your own and are still making it all up then there really isnt anything else you can do. She might get very mad at you if you show it to her but eventually shell find out that hes just playing her andwhen she does shell come back to you apologizing and trying to say sorry. That is great but if he comes to you after they break up asking you out dont go out with him because then shell just think that you and him played something out to break them up so you to could get together then she wont be your friend any more. Juts remember there is only so much that a friend can do its up to the person your trying to explain it to to believe you or not. Just be a mentor and dont bug her much about it if she doesnt want to beleive you then thats her fault shell find out soon or a later. I hope i helped a little and good luck with that.
~*~ Short N Punky ~*~

Q: One of my friends has been acting really weird lately. Like, for example, (yesterday our school had a half day) and my sister and I had planned to hang out with a different friend (not the one I think has been acting weird). But somehow our friend (who has been acting weird) thought we were going to hang out with her. So, she was calling like everywhere looking for us, and at night (after we had already gotten home) my sister listened to the messages on our cell phone and 2 were from the weird acting friend. But when we asked her about it she denyed it and told us that it was her sister that had called, but in the message it had said some mean stuff that had happened almost a year ago. Please help me!!! I don't know what to do!!!

HA iv had this happen to me several times. I think the reason they say that is because they want to remain your friend and they dont want you getting mad at them for saying mean things. Another is your odd friend may have just been blowing off steam and doesnt want to admit she was mad at you because of the friendship thing.Hope iv helped a little i know i didnt say much but hope everything works out ok. Write me back anytime.
~*~ Short N Punky ~*~

Q: Ok HeReS HoW It StArTeD:

I WaS OvEr At My FrIeNdS HoUsE(aka person) AnD ThIs iS OuR CoNvO.

Person: Ummm I need To Tell you Sumin Serious But you Cant Tell AnYbOdY!!!
Me: Ok You Can TrUsT Me
Person: I think I mite Be bi
Me: Bi as in Bisexual
Person: Duh
Me: Wow
PersOn: I kno
Me: So r you atrracted to any of our friends?
Person: yea
ME: Are you attracted to me?
Person: Maybe

So Thats It. So Im confused cuz it kinda grosses me out cuz what if she invites me to sleepover and since i cant tell anybody about it she'll get invited to sleepoers nd stuff so she could try to make a move on me nd my friends i need help
ill rate!!

No no if she was really your friend and valued the friend ship then she wouldnt hit on you if she knew thaqt you didnt like her in that way. If she wanted anyone else to know then she would hit on your friends. But i dont think you have to worry about anything because she doesnt want anyone to know so most likely she wont hit on you or your other friends. And if you dont want her hittin on you just tell her that your not like that and you dont wana be more than friends. Hope iv helped dont be afraid to write back.
Signed
Short N Punky
Ps. Good luck i had a friend like that to!

Q: You seem really cool and you seem to be the onlyone who really understood what i was trying to say cuz i think everone else who answered my question was a prepp lol. Im me sumtimes my sn is
ycbabiegrll06 (stands for yellowcard)i'v had it forever and i need 2 change it but im juss 2 lazy lol.

Lol thats ok i did but i guess you signed off from it but yeah i have a bunch of friends just like you described. But iv been called alot more then skater and iv gotten alot worse then just looks haha its kool some the stuff i do to show people how freaked i am lol. Ok well talk ya later

Q: I have all different kinds of friends in such, but i hang out with 2 of them more. Im not a girly girl( and im not a lesbian) i hate wearing skirts and dresses and i really dont lyk really preppy people tha wear houchie skirts and a half a shirt, but maybe tha's juss some of the girls that go to my school. I just don't understand why people wear that stuff when you know its unconfortable. Why wear high heels to school them you could be confortable. THey only dress like that to get guys attention. I don't like cheerleaders either they annoy me. I'm kinda skater and like to do things that girls normally don't do or arent that good at. Me n my best friend r crazy at those kinda things and fit in real easily with the guy crowd. Every place that i go i always get mean looks from preppy girls cuz i don't dress lyk a brittany spears wannabe. Why do you think people corner me cuz im skater and not a barbie doll?

Because your just like i am haha you just described me haha. But yeah they look at me funny because im a threat to them because scince there is more people like us then there is them. Plus its because they just want to make them selves feel good about putting others down or at least try. Because they want to do all that stuff but they cant so they put others down. Plus most the guys hang with us because we are one of the guys not just there girl friend. And they want that but they cant have it because there skanky bitches and we arnt. Hey if you have aim or yahoo im me sometime.
Yahoo - Lostsoul252 Aim - Vampiregoddess54
Hope iv helped a little and dont be afraid to write back.
Signed
Short N Punky

Q: ok well i have this friend who cuts, but she wont tell me that she does. i found out from someone else. i want her to tell me because i can atleast try to help her stop. i had cut in the past but i stopped and now i want to help her. i dont know how to get her to tell me so i can help her. i can't let her know that i know though. please help if you can.

Look this is a very serious situation and and tell her that i found something out and i wana try to help you. Just go out and tell her that you know its hurting her more than its gona hurt you. Hope iv helped a little dont be afraid to write back.
Signed
Short N Punky

bio

Hey, my name is Kelley, a little bit about my life: Im 24 i have a 4 year old daughter, when i was younger i got into alot of trouble because i felt unwanted and picked on alot in school. As i grew up i got into several bad abusive relationships. Now that i have gotten out of my old life im crawling up from the ashes and making a new life. Im a great listener and i love giving advice, if youd like to give me a shot id try my hardest to give the best advice i can give. The reason some people dont like me is because i tell it how it is i dont sugar code anything and im very opinionated. Id love to listen to your problems and help out that best i can.