I am a thirteen year old girl and I have a close male friend. We usually get on quite well and we are always talking and hugging. We used to be attracted to each other and he on/off still is to me but I don't feel that way about him. Everyone says we act like we're a couple and that we should get together but I honestly don't want to. We are very close but are we too close? I admit I hug him more than my other friends but I don't have any feelings for him. So is it wrong to be this close to him if we're not in a relationship?
I dont think there is anything wrong with being close best friends, especially if you both know that you arent intrested in a relationship. I have to good friends (a girl and a guy) who are best friends and really close. My other friends and I are always saying that they should really just go out, because they are so close. But I understand that even when people act close that doesnt nessacarily mean they are attracted to each other. If you being physically close, just shows how comfortable you are with him and that you are really close friends. I dont think there is anything wrong with being close, and just being friends. Good Friendships and relationships between guys and girls are often mistaken for each other, but if you know the difference, it's fine! Hope I helped you!
~Kayla
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what do you do when you lose someone you thought was your best friend to someone she knows you despise?
Well... first of all I'll say you should think about your question. Are you sure you've lost your friend? Lost could mean several things... your friend might be spending more time with this other friend, or she really could have started ignoring you. I'm going to assume that she isn't completely ignoring you, just spending much more time with this other girl. Well, I have to say that friends do grow apart. However there are some things you can do. As always my advice is to talk to your friend- tell her how you feel and let her to the same... talk, but also listen! This is sure to have some kind of effect on your relationship. You could always invite your friend to do more things, just the two of you. Maybe she thinks that you dont wanna send time with her anymore? Well i'm not quite sure what else to say, becasue i dont have much info. but my main advice is to talk to her in a "open session" a truthful talk with out getting feelings hurt. If you need more help IM me or ask another question, maybe with more details! Hope i helped... i understand because my friends seem to be doing this too......
~Kayla
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Okay so i have this friend and he is a year younger than me and is going to call me in about an hour and hes gunna ask me out and i dont wanna go out with him. any ideas that i could use to say no but to not hurt his feelings?
im 13 and hes 12
Oh gosh. I've had this problem before. In my case I just told him no, no no. He kept asking me, and i think i hurt his feelings. I ended up going out with him because my brother told him yes (over AIM). It was miserable. So don't do what i did, lol. If you really don't want to go out with him just tell him straight up. Don't play games. When he calls you and asks you, act suprised and say "Oh wow. [name] you're a REALLY great guy and all, but we're such good friends i dont even want to think aobut spoiling that." If he understands from there, just leave it at that. But if he persists then say something like "I just dont think of you like that. You're my friend and i love having things that way. I'm flattered that you like me, but i just don't feel the same way. I'm sorry, and i dont want this to change things between us." hopefully you can leave it at that. If not... you're going to have to be firm. "I'm sorry, but my answer is no. I'll talk to you later, bye" i hope this helps! good luck!
~Kayla
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i'm 16 and my lil sis is havin her 13th birthday on december 19th.. she is soo pumped and doesnt really have any ideas for one. i threw a surprise for her last year so i dont wanna do that again.. she has a lot of friends and i guess shes one of the popular girls in her school so i want it to be big for her.. any one got any ideas.. cuz im not doing to good and i want this to be the best ever! x33always! me*
My advice would be that if you have a hotel in your city to rent out their meeting room if they have one. Have a big party there with a DJ and stuff. If the hotel has an indoor pool ask for acess to that, or just the hot tub. Invite lots of guys and girls from her school and make it a very mature party. have it on a friday or saturday, and then rent a couple hotel rooms and have a huge sleepover with her closest friends! This has a lot of poential! If doing that is not an option... then maybe have a formal V.I.P dinner party. invite guys and girls that a pretty close to her and go to a nice resturant (or aat home) and eat dinner, etc. You could go all out and ask the kids to dress up like their fav. star or just fancy. One more idea is to rent a cabin in the mountains and take some friends for a snow weekend.. or just go to a ski resort. I hope one of these work for you! I turned 13 a few months ago and these would've been totally awesome birthday partys! (I went camping by a lake with 10 of my closest friends for my party, it was lots of fun) I hope this helps! if you'd like any other ideas.. please drop a note in my inbox or AIM me!
~Kayla
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ahh... the big old friend dilemma... sorry if its too confusing...
right so... ok theres this guy.. who is like my bestest friend in the whole world... and we are really close and stuff like that. like he can even say luv yuh with out being all weird yuh know??? ok well any ways... sorta of recently... like lest school year he started going out with this girl who is like my friend... and well we all talk and stuff...but like i always feel as though i am in he middle (example.. they had a fight and in a way i was the middlemen, then the outsider.. UGH confusing i know)... plus very recently this guy has been treating me weird and he doesnt seem to want to talk to me or anything.. as though he doesnt want to be my friend... and thats the way i feel.. and i dont know what to do. all i know is that i dont like it how he makes me feel all nice and floaty one moment and hated and depressed the next. plus i would understand if he was treating him bad or something, but i havent.. i havent done anything (that i know of) to make him feel this way towards me... but i dont know what to do... but i know i dont want to lose my best friend....
signed ....
confused
Dear Confused,
hmm i know how you feel.. and it's not good. The question was a little confusing, but i'll try to work through it, i definately understand why you're confused. it seems to me that you are really afraid of losing him as your best friend. My suggestion would probably be to talk to him. Ask him to be totally honset with you and just tell you the truth. Say you want to talk about your friendship. tell him that it doesnt matter what he says.. just to say it. and be willing to truthfully answer any questions he asks you. Be sure to ask him why he seems to be mad at you one minute and be fine the next. And also bring up that you dont like being the outsider or the middleman. most of all just have a good heart-to-heart with him. i dont know how much this helps.. but i hope it does. If you need anything else please ask or feel free to AIM me!
~Kayla
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ok, my really good friend cuts herself and she takes pills that she don't know what are. She only does it for attention...but EVERYBODY tells her to stop. The only way she is going to stop is if somebody tells someone....I want to tell but I don't want everybody to be like "ohhhh, Tia Told. She's a tattletale.." but I want to tell..I KNOW it's the RIGHT thing to do...she's going to wind up killing herself...WHAT SHOULD I DO???
I would anomously leave talk to your school counselor! they can help.. and if you want your identity to remain confidential then just ask them! She might be doing it just for attention, and might not actually kill herself, but still you need to tell someone! as a good friend you should protect your friend! Hope this helps!
~Kayla
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my friend name is Brittany she has a b.o. problem and ervery1 hates it. i dont kno wat to say ta her wit out hurtn' her feelns' but can somebody pleaze help me out thanks.
i rate very high.
signed confused friend.
Well you definately don't want to offend her, cuz B.O is often a sensitive subject. But my sugestion would maybe to have her come over, or even better sleepover, and happen to have a new extra tube of Deoderant. while ur putting on ur deoderant (u have to put some on while she's over... lol) ask her wut kind she uses. If she doesnt tell her she should have the extra one, cuz "at our age we should all use deoderant" or if she uses a certain kind ask her if it works good. If yes than say "that's good.. try this kind and tell me if u like it better or not" if she says no than "Hey! you should use this kind.. it's great!" Give her the new extra tube.... and hopefully she will use it! hope this works! If you have any other questions feel free to ask!
~Kayla
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ok..well me and my best friend seem to not be getting a long very well this week. i don't know whats up..but something is going on between us. at school she seems to be getting really annoyed with me lately and it seems as if she doesn't want to have anything to do with me. i don't know if she is just tired of being around me or what, but things have just been starting to feel different between us and im HATiNG iT! i've been so mad and sad and confused this week and ugh..i don't know what to do!?! can you help me? thanks so much!
-CoNfUsEd fRiEnD =/
this is the Classic delimia.. my it is kinda happening to my friends right now. my advice would be to talk to her.. just tell her how u are feeling, and ask her what she is feeling... have an "open session" where you too tell each other ANYTHING,and the other person will try to understand. if u want her to understand how u feel.. u need to try to understand how she feels... she may not realize what she is doing, or she may feel like you too need a break. When you talk to her dont accuse her, and try to remain optimistic. good luck! if u have anymore questions, or need clarification.. or want more info on how to talk to her.. plz post, or AIM me!
~Kayla
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Okay, first let me say I'm going to be 17 in a week.
I've been friends with this one girl for the majority of both our lives. We used to go trick or treating every year, and she's going to want to go again this year, whereas I feel I'm too old, and I don't want to go. I know I need to tell her I don't want to go and not just make excuses, but something in me doesn't think she'll understand that I just don't want to walk around in a costume, yelling "TRICK OR TREAT" for candy.
I mean, I LOVE sugar. Seriously, I do - but I'm sick of trick or treating. How do I tell her I don't want to do this without hurting her feelings? 'Cause I know it's gonna bother her. Our friendship is sort of dwindling...sucks, but true. She's 17 too, by the way. Thanks in advance for the help.
Let your friend know that trick or treating is really fun, but you're just not into the idea so much this year. Tell her that adults might get a little annoyed at the fact that two teenagers are trick-or-treating, because it's usually an event for the kids. Also let her know that you still wanna hang out with her on Halloween. Suggest going to a friend's party, or having your own! You could also always just hang out with her eating candy and watching scarey movies at your house. You guys could even wear coustumes! Another good idea might be to hand out candy to trick or treaters. If she wants to you could put on an elebroate display with you two in witch costumes and a fake cauldron with dry ice or something like that. Let her help plan a different activity that both you and her could have fun with!
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ok...my friend has a lot of family problems, her sister who is 16 hasnt made some very good decisions. it makes me so mad becuz sometimes my mom is like "don't spend too much time around her, i think she's having a bad influence on you" and blah blah...but she doesn't even know her!!! how can i prove to my mom she isn't what she thinks she is??? also...my friend is thinking about moving. and she's my BEST friend in the whole entire world! how do i handle it? thanks so much!
this is pretty difficult to answer. You and your mom obviously have pretty different views on what you need in a friend. You could try talking to your mom calmly (when she is in a good mood)and just tell her hey mom i know you think [friend's name] is a bad influence on me... but i'd like for you to get to know her a little better... and if you still think she is a bad influence i'll try not to hang out with her so much. She has had some problems at home, but all in all she's a good person. I was wondering if maybe i could invite her to dinner (or have her come to another occasion with ur family). If your mom agrees make shure ur friend is polite and on her best behavior. Have her make a good impression on your mom, and your mom may be more willing to allow you to hang w/ her. Also try to be open and ask your mom to explain to you why she thinks your friend is a bad influence. listen, and then if she says something about her sister just say [friend] is nothing like her sister... she has problems with her family, but that doesnt mean she's a bad person. keep insisting that you want your mom to meet her and stuff.also with your friend movin... make sure she knows you dont want her to leave and how important she is to you. If she does end up moving.... try to keep in contact by phone calls, email, IMing, and snail mail. If she doesnt move too far away then invite her to go do things with you! hope i helped. if you need anything else please post again or AIM me best of luck to you!
~Kayla
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i cant belive you u got this fro me o0o well i cant do n e thing now!!!
wut do we do if we have a friend tht steals stuff from us?
(kayla s.*cough* *cough*
-kla
Well you should try to understand that this friend probably just thought what you had or did was cool so she thought she should do it too. try not to think of it as stealing stuff from you. Your friend is probably impressed by the fact that you can always find neat stuff on the internet and she... cant. Your friend thought that advicenators was really cool, and she thought.. well why not? You can do anything you want, and if you dont want your friend to "steal stuff" from you in the future just ask her not to. I'm sure your friend was going to talk to you about "stealing it from you"
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