Hey everyone, my name is Jordan. Im going to be a sophomore at Oklahoma State University this year, currently studying Hotel and Restaurant Management. I graduated with a 3.42 GPA from Cinco Ranch High School in Katy, Texas, my home of ten years. I am a singer, a cook, a brother, a son, a friend, an employee, and a student. I have alot of background with problems with friends, parents, siblings, teachers (long stories), employers, and of course, with myself. But ask anything you want, if I can help just one person, than I've made a difference, and I'll be happy! Please rate me based on the advice I give. I want to know if I need to change anything! Thanks to everyone who has rated me so far! I'm sorry about my period of inactivity on this site, school, my girlfriend, and other aspects of my personal life have kept me away for longer than I wanted, but I'm back and ready to answer your questions!
E-mail: jordan.j.hunter@okstate.edu
Gender: Male
Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma
Occupation: College student at Oklahoma State
Age: 19
AIM: IronChefRogue1
Member Since: April 5, 2005
Answers: 32
Last Update: July 5, 2007
Visitors: 6616
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FrEe2bMe
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Ok so here it is.
me and my BFF have been best friends for 7 years
I moved away from where I use to live like 3 years ago...so me and her live an hour and a half away but still are very close well I met this guy and we started going out and I love him to death but I think my BFF is kinda jealouse of my bf cuz he gets to see me all the time adn we do stuff together alot and I tend to talk about him alot I try not to but idk..anywayz...what should I do should I do should I stop hanging with him so much....and should My bff be close to me then My bf???.......PLEASE HELP (link)
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Well, I disagree with the responses above. While your BFF may seem like she is jealous, and you two are farther apart than you and your boyfriend, a true friend should be able to support you if you are happy in a relationship. While they may not always want to know the cute little things that little Johnny did if they don't have their own significant other, they should at least be able to understand that you have someone new and important in your life. Time will balance things out between bf and bff time, as the relationship gets a bit deeper and less new. Don't make your bf suffer because your bff is jealous, because that isn't fair to him. You should not have to choose between your bf and your bff, any friend who tries to make you choose isn't worth your time. While distance is a factor in problems like these, it can be minimized. Let me give an example from personal experience. My girlfriend and I are in a long distance relationship, and when we started, her current bff was afraid that she was going to lose her friend and tried to kinda push a choice on my girlfriend. My girlfriend decided to stay with me and be friends with her bff. Over the next few months, her friend's treatment toward her became worse until it came to a boiling point. The friend tried to play the drama queen and push it off on my girlfriend, trying to make it her fault, when it was really her (the friend) that was having the attitude problem. Long story short, bff doesnt always mean best friend forever. So you have to do what you ultimately think is right. If you think your boyfriend is worth it, dont let your friend's jealousness drive you to spend less time with him. Just remind your friend that you are still there for her, but you do have someone that you consider special in your life now. If she is a true friend, she will understand, and you two can go from there, if not, then she is not worth the effort. Best of luck to you, and I hope everything works out for you.
P.S.: My girlfriend and I will have been together for 20 months on the 18th of this month.
Jordan
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how do I stay out the the freind zone?
what say to a girl you just met on the phone?
do you have any tips I can use to act smooth?
any romance tips thats guaranteed to get me to stay with her? (link)
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First of all, there are no guarantees. You have to realize that before we continue. As for smoothness, try being yourself. Now if yourself is a perv or a jerk, which you don't seem like, then maybe you should work on that first. Be natural, try to work in some natural jokes, nothing too obvious, corny, or overused, girls pick up on that fast. My girlfriend and I have been together for five months now, and I find that the jokes or things she laughs at most aren't forced, they just kinda come naturally. Talk about things that might interest her. In other words, don't bore her with video games if she isn't a gamer, no sports if she isn't a sports fan. Talk about what she likes, her interests, favorite movies, etc. Don't focus on yourself unless she asks, don't want to come off as self-absorbed. As for just meeting a girl on the phone, try complimenting her voice or her laugh when you hear it. Something as simple as "you have a very beautiful voice" or "such a beautiful voice, you must be very beautiful" can go along way. If you get to take this girl on a date, there is something very important you should remember: chivalry is not only for the knights of old. Open doors for her, pull out her chair for her at tables, offer your jacket if she is cold(if she becomes your girlfriend, then wrap your arm around her, its one of those little signals that she wants to be closer), oh, and flowers are always good, unless she is allergic. If you can and have time, perhaps ask her friends if she has a favorite type of flower. Bringing her her favorite flowers shows that you care enough to find that sort of thing out, which is a very good thing. If there isn't time, it's hard to go wrong with a dozen long-stem red roses. Short on cash? Live in a flower-rich area? A hand-picked bouquet of bright flowers can say even more than store-bought roses. Need more in the romance department? Want to show that you can be the good guy that that good girl you want is looking for? One word: picnic. Try to find a nice open field or park or beach, a beautiful, sunny, not too hot or cold day, make some sandwiches or other great picnic food, like fried chicken (email me for a good recipe), toss in maybe a frisbee or volleyball, and you have an excellent romantic date that won't hit you in the pocket book, and will show her you are different from other guys around. Good luck, and as always, email me for more advice or recipes if you need them!
Best wishes, Jordan
jordan.j.hunter@okstate.edu
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hey sup? alright well my friends and i r planning this co-ed sleepover thing and im 14 so like were not going to have sex or anything and my mom said earlier this year i could have one as long as the parents were there keeping an eye on everyone. and this one wed b camping out and guys in one tent and girls in another. and theres gonna b a lot of ppl and i really dont want to miss out on it, but then i asked her again today if it was okay and she said no way. i told her she said it was fine earlier this year but she said she never said it. how can i convince her nothing is going to happen and to just ket me go?! please help i give 5's! (link)
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Ok, this is going to be a hard sell to any parent, but lets try to break this down in a way that will make your mom more comfortable. First, let your mother meet everyone you intend to invite to the party. Anyone that she doesnt like may need to take one for the team, but if she becomes to inflexible, you have to remind her that she MAY NOT CHOOSE your friends for you. Second, make sure that all the parents that can be involved, are involved. Your mom may serve as head of the guard, if it will suit her better. The more parents, the more at ease she is likely to feel. Third, make sure that the guys' and girls' tents are a respectable distance apart. Talking maybe twenty feet, if it is possible, that is twenty feet from the start of one tent to the start of another. Fourth, be as responsible as humanly possible until it is time for the party, one slip can sink the entire plan, finished and agreed on or not. And fifth, remind her that this is a learning experience for you and your friends. This is not a trip so that you kids can get it on. All that being said, some parents are so inflexible that it is a wonder they havent broken from tension. Letting your mother be active in this event will show her that you are committed to being a good little girl, and capable of earning her trust. If she doesn't allow it, then she may have flexablity issues, and may need to seek therapy, unless you have done something that proves you are untrustable. Anyway, good luck with the party. Email me if you need further help.
Best Wishes, Jordan-jordan.j.hunter@okstate.edu
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okay, ive known this guy for about nine years and weve been best friends and never got into one fight. People saiid that WE WERE LIKE cory and tapanga or that we would end uplike that but then one day i told 2 b people who he liked and he got real pissed at me and never forgave me and said go to hell but the thing was that i told like a million times how sorry i was and i rele like love this kid and then he put it on his pro and even told the girl he liked that he liked her and that got me mad.Then he even went out with her and still wouldnt forgive me. Then at my friends bat mitzva, he slow danced with me and said sorry but he still hate. All my friends tell me to get over him but i can b.c now al my friends love him and i rele miss him as a friend and its hard to forget everything we.ve be through together and idk wat to do pleze help!!
From julias friend ali! (link)
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Ok, I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you this, but hate is one of the most powerful emotions around. Hate can drive people to do crazy things, one look at the middle east will prove that. How long has it been since he got mad at you? If this has been going on for over a year, chances are this is one of those powerful hatreds. However, if this has been less than a year, chances are the damage isn't irreversable. If this guy and the girl he liked are still going out, maybe you did him a favor by throwing his hole card in just a little earlier than he wanted. You forced him to tell her he likes her, which ended up with them going out. The best advice is this: Tell him how you REALLY feel about him. If you are absolutely crazy about him, tell him. If you just like him as a friend, tell him you miss him and his friendship. If you think you can't live without him...well, some guys don't take that too well. Some girl basically told me that the other day, and, um, yeah. Don't do that. Just tell him how you honestly feel, don't sugarcoat it, just play it straight. Don't get overemotional, don't get all weepy or clingy, cause weeping is for widows, and clinging is for dryer sheets. If you can look him straight in the face, into his eyes, and tell him honestly that you love and care about him, and he can still say that it changes nothing, he is probably one of the biggest idiots of all time, and he is definetly not worth YOUR time. Good luck with this guy, if its meant to be, its will be. Email me if you need any further help.
Best Wishes, Jordan-IronChefRogue1@aol.com or jordan.j.hunter@okstate.edu
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okay well my friend doesn't really have that many friends nd ALOT of people hate her and like i like her but she can be REALLY annoying. and if i dont put her in my profile for AIM she gets pissed off but then im gunna lose alot of friends if im friends wit this girl so wat should i do? (link)
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Ok, sounds like you are in a lose-lose situation. One way to skirt the issue is to not name anyone in your profile. Not everyone likes to go flaunt their friends for the entire AIM community to see. Personally, I think naming names is like setting them up as targets. If you don't name anyone, and she still gets pissed, explain to her that by not naming names, fewer people will be hurt, you give your friends some shell of protection, and it takes stress off of your life. I can understand being an outcast and still wanting attention, but it is truly selfish to take one person down with you simply because you are their friend and supposedly lots of people hate them. I am not, however, about to say to stop being friends with them, because that causes yet another negative situation. How are you sure that you will lose your friends just by acknowledging that you are friends with someone who is not necessarily class favorite? Better question, what kind of friends would abandon just because you decide to be friends with someone that the "group" dislikes? True friends may disagree with friends of friends, but that does not give them a free pass to associate their hatred for your friend with you. If that is the case, you need to reevaluate who your friends really are. Only the snooty, fake people look down at people like that, probably because of massive ego problems. We all need to realize that everyone is born equally, it is what we do with the precious gift of life that makes us who we are. You need to consider who is more important to you, the friends who would leave you at the drop of a name, or the friend who is more likely to stay with you. Make the right choice, and it will label you as a good person. Good luck.
Best Wishes, Jordan
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Okay so i go to a small high school i'll be a senior, and i hang out with this group of people and i mean we're all really close, and it's really weird cause theres i'd say about.. 50-60 of us, but we all hang out at school at lunch together and take up this big spot and everything. Anyways there's guys and girls. I really want to have a birthday party this year i'll be turning 17. because i didn't do anything for my 16th really and i haven't ad one since like 6th grade. but i was just wondering if anyone had any ideas on what to do with so many people. my friend had her 16th bday at this big hotel room thing..like whats downstairs..and there was a dance floor and a dj and food and stuff. so i dont really want that. i would just feel bad if i didn't invite some people cause we're all like best friends..and thats what makes it hard. 50 best friends? whaatt.. i mean i have ONE BEST BEST friends, but everyone else is pretty much the same. any ideas?
oh and my bdays in november. (link)
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OK, there is just no simple way to plan a party for 50 friends without getting a space to accomodate. One way to simplyfy would be to break it down and have two smaller parties. Just make sure no one gets invited twice, and things will be much more simple. However, if you want to avoid dividing your friends, you will have to think about a bigger space. November is a bad time for a pool party, and if you don't want to spend money on a hotel ballroom or something similar, try a block party on your street. Invite your friends and neighbors to help you celebrate your birthday in a huge way that will help everone feel included. Men in the neighborhood can team up to grill burgers and hot dogs, the women can make side dishes like potato salad and other delicious outdoor food, you can all play basketball, listen to music, play games, and celebrate life, particularly yours. Good luck planning your party. I hope that my idea has helped in some small way. Please feel free to email me to ask more questions.
Best Wishes, Jordan-ironchefrogue1@aol.com
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ok i have a friend and i recently found out that hes gay i was really suprised at first but things got better and we talked more but now hes just been so bitchy lately everyone thinks im dating him bc hes not open yet and i think that may be one of the reason for my failed attempts at relationships hes a really good person at heart and i know that but lately i dunno hes been so moody almost like a girl you know? i just cant stand it hes getting on my last nerve! what can i do to get him to be the person i used to know even after i found out he was gay??? sorry this is so long! (link)
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I agree with zealous. With people who have not yet come out of the closet, the stress levels run much higher than non-gay people and people who have come out of the closet. They wonder what people will think of them, which friends will stay, which friends will leave, the reaction their parents will have, ect. With him becoming so moody, the most likely culprit is stress build-up. Depending on how long he has been in the closet, it may be very difficult to give up that shelter of "normality." There are many cases of people in their 40's, 50's, 60's, and even 70's, men who have been happily married to women for years, of finally coming out of the closet. Remind your friend that you will be there for him, no matter what. There is not a big chance that you can restore him to the person you once knew, because that person was a shell created to hide a much deeper secret. You may have to accept that your friend has changed, and realize that he is still the same person that you have been friends with all along. People do change, it is the glorious circle of life. Once your friend steps out of his closet, his stress level will most likely decrease again, bring him back closer to the person you thought you knew. The biggest thing you can do for him is be supportive of him. Don't try to change him, because you will fail at that. Don't try to force him to come out just to get him back closer to normal, you may end up forcing him away. And most importantly of all, don't treat him differently. People of homosexual tendancies are just as human as people who are of heterosexual tendancies. They enjoy most of the same things, do most of the same things, and live their lives the same as most people do. Embrace your friend's change, and you may realize that he is still the same person you knew, now you just know a bit more. Good luck to you and your friend. Everyone should willing embrace change, it is what keeps life interesting.
Best Wishes, Jordan
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Ok well the guy I kinda like I just found out has a girlfriend aww i know im sad... I cant get him out of mind, i have a myspace and hes one of my friends on it cause we go to school together and stuff i mean i didnt just meat him or anything and I use to like always look at his sight and leave him friendly comments and stuff but now the picture thats his main is of him and his girfriend kissing... I respect him and respect the fact that he has a girlfriend and all that cause were good friends and Im happy for him i just want to try to think of him as a really good friend and not get sad when i see thier picture... any advide please help...
signed I respect the man (link)
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Hey. First off, I want to tell you I am sorry to hear about your situation. Millions of people, male and female, begin to like their best friends every day, I know, I've been there. To know that they are happily in a relationship is the sadest news anyone can get, short of the death or terminal illness of a loved one. It never gets easier to receive that sort of news, and it gets harder to consider them as only a friend once you like them. Crossing the friend/crush border is a VERY perilous step, one that has ruined friendships and crushed dreams. Is it possible that your friend knew you had a crush on him, and that the picture could be a subtle warning sign, warning you to not like him? I know that sounds stupid, but consider the following. You two are really good friends, so one would infer that you can maybe read each other's emotions. Perhaps he read into the fact that you like him, and thus tried to give you a small indicator that he has feelings for someone else. Or, on the other tangent, maybe he is a typical guy (and guys, lets fess up) and is blind to the fact that you like him. Perhaps he put the picture up to highlight the addition to his life, without realizing your feelings for him.
My best advice is this. The pain can be a subliminal thing, something that is in your subconcious, therefore something you won't be able to quiet easily. So, instead of trying to block the pain and the sadness, acknowledge the fact that they are just boyfriend and girlfriend. They are not engaged, and their is a high likelyhood (based on age, seriousness of the relationship, etc.) that they will not be permenant fixtures in each other's lives. Realize that just because that just because you are out of THIS round does not mean that you have lost the fight. You may have your chance with him yet, but the only way to get there is patience. Dont do something extreme, like tell him how you feel. That can only complicate the situation to a degree that is only imaginable.
Let's go the other way, a.k.a. you don't want to have feelings for him anymore. This is a much more difficult road, in many respects. Once you have feelings for a friend, it is difficult to see them without those feelings bubbling to the top. With our friends, our mind automatically is at ease, thus we are more prone to trust our friends with our life, both physically and emotionally. Our friends are often closely tied to how we feel, thus we tie ourselves to people who make us feel good inside. With male and female friends, it is easy to fall into the pit of liking each other. My advice would be this: think about WHY you like this friend. Consider what draws you to him, and from this, determine what type of guy he is. Then, instead of trying to focus on him, find other guys like him, similar in personality, and try building relationships there. The only way to beat a crush is to find a better crush, or to let your crush hurt you, something that is NOT advisable. Good luck with your friend, no matter what happens. Don't worry, just because he has a girlfriend now doesn't mean he can't think you the best girl in the world later.
Best Wishes, Jordan
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ok.. so my best friend and i were in this chat with our other friend. and the other friend and my best friend have like a really funny joke together.. inside joke. so they were talkin about their joke and i just left cuz i didnt wanna be in the middle of it. then they started bein real mean to me, so i ignored them and blocked them. since then, my best friend wont forgive me when she should be the one sayin sorry. what should i do?
(link)
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Okay, did they completely ignore you, or did they maybe just forget you were their while they were in the midst of their joke. Inside jokes are bonds that bring friends closer together. My old best friend and I used to be known as Fraiser and Niles (from Fraiser). He was older, so he was Fraiser, and I was Niles. Anyway, what would have caused them to be so mean? Did they think they perhaps you were rejecting them? That could cause their anger. Anyway, probably the best idea is to sit down with them both and just try to get the inside story, and work it out. Who knows, you may end up laughing the whole situation out, find out that it is all one big misunderstanding. If they are unwilling to talk it out, or be civil when talking it out, then perhaps you need to think about just moving on. If they aren't willing to work things out, then it is their loss, not yours. Good luck with whatever happens.
Best Wishes, Jordan
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