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ok so this is like the first time ive ever used this site but i need some advice & sorry if this is long but i will rate all 5s. =]

so recently my best friend and i got in a fight -we'll call her Jamie. well she saw these emails i was sending with this girl "Amy" that were talking about her and this boy BUT i really was trying to help her out, i prob shouldnt have been talkin about it but i was like joking around and tryin to find out who the guy likes. but she saw them and thought i was betraying her which i was not trying to do at all. she was mad at me for like 4 days and wouldn't talk to me, and she doesn't know this i dont think but i cried so much because i really thought i was loosing my best friend and i really missed her. i apologized but she didn't talk to me until these goths were mean to me and then we talked for a while last night and im pretty sure we're ok now .. the only thing is that before she told me she won't trust me for a long time. this really hurts me because we had a very trusting relationship and we told each other alot and i dont want to loose that. i would never tell any of her secrets ever and i would never do anything like what i did again but idk if she knows that. how long do you think it will take for her to trust me again? do you think we're really back to how we used to be? she is my best friend and im so lucky to have her but i want her to trust me and i want to know that we really are OK and back to how we used to be, i wasn ttrying to do anything at all. but another thing is i found out that she called me fat behind my back before and talks about me behind myback sometimes, too. but i would never backstab her.. can someone help me w/ all this??

also she thinks i invited these girls "patricia" and "denise" to this thing yesterday because i just wanted to start drama which is not true i didnt invite them i asked if they were going because they usually go. i didnt even think about that she wouldn't liek it.

so basically that whole week sucked for me i was really sad, i mean i have other good friends that were there for me but she is like my best friend and i thought she would never talk to me again thats how it seemed.

how do i make sure we're ok? and if she still trusts me? thank you so much for answering!@

I think you really need to have a long conversation with your friend. You need to talk about what you did that bothered her and reassure her that you will never do anything like that ever again. You need to make sure she understands that when she was mad at you in made you ver upset and you don't want the relationship to change beteween the two of you.
Then I think you need to talk to her about what you heard she said about you. She may have just been upset about the whole thing and didn't really mean it.
If she really is your best friend, then you shouldn't keep thinks that are bothering you from her. You should be honest and always tell her the truth. Best friends are for soemone to tell everything to, right?

Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes.
- unknown

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what happens when you run outta answers, and you dont know what to do anymore? what happens when your not happy with yourself and your lost and confused? what happens when you think your fat and everyone else tells you your wrong? what happens when you lose your bestfriend because shes just not the same anymore? what happens when you life falls apart?

Oh hunny, I think some therapy would be good. It sounds to me like your sorta depressed. You should find someone you can talk to about it. That always makes me feel better when I'm upset about something.

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I'm curious about something. If a person has been a smoker since they've been 12 years old, what long term effects would it have on the person? I'm asking because my friends wife is 54 and has been smoking since she was 12. She smokes about 2 packs a day. I think he is worried about her health. I already know that it has prematurely aged her from the outside. She has a very wrinkled face and horrible black and yellow stained teeth. Also does anyone have any solutions as to how she could quit? I hear it's very hard but possible.

My dad has tired quitting millions of times. For him, it just hasn't worked. I guess it just depends on who you are and how strong you are. My dad doesn't really want to quit that bad, so he doesn't try very hard.
She can try patches or noccotine gum or something like that. Other times you don't even need stuff like that. My aunt quit smoking by chewing regular gum and sucking on peppermint things. I guess it just depends on what your personal situation is.
Cancer is pretty much the biggest long term thing.

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Theres a new girl at my school; Lizzie.
She seemed really sweet and over the past 2 weeks we've become [ or so i thought ] great friends.

The first day she got here, she asked me like who are good people to hang around, who to trust/not trust, who the populars are, who would get you in trouble, and what our school is like.

I told her in my school you can't trust anyone. I told her about a girl on our Team that is so stuck up and self-concieted and thinks she popular [ and shes deff. not ]And I told her my opionion about other people too. Well Lizzie ran off and told all those people what I had said about them and how not to trust me. This made me mad cause she specificly asked about these people then stabbed me in the back by telling them my opionion about them.

I don't wanna confront her about it though; I'd feel so embarressed. What should I do?

Well, the only thing you really can do is confront her... There's really no other solution. Just tell her how angry it made you for her to do that to you. To me, (even though I don't know her) she doesn't sound like a very trusting person. Or she is just looking for friends and she thinks that by telling them what you think of them will make them like her more. (*hmm*)
And for what you said about the other people, its never good to talk about people behind their backs... unless its with someone you really know well, and trust... probably not the best thing to tell a new girl.
And as for the people who she said it to (if you care that they are mad at you) All you can do is say your sorry....
So basically just talk to the girl about it. Who knows... there might be more to the story than you know

Well I hope I helped :-)
~*Ashley*~

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i have heard a or that one of my close friends doesnt really like me, but we still hang out every day. but i heard this from a lying "friend", who doesnt really like the i first started talking about. would she make it up?? what should i do???

You should talk to your close friend about everything and ask her about it. Ask her if she still likes you and tell her someone told you that she didn't.

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Me and my friend have been friends since Kindergarden. (currently in 8th grade) And in 7th grade this girl moved here and we've been friends ever since. But i try very hard to include both of them in all that i do.. and not ignore them. But then when she was in 5th grade here and this other girl became friends and ever since and it seems like i'm always being ignored by her. I understand that she has to have other friends and stuff but i feel like i should be indluded in some of the stuff she does. like occasionally go to her house. and when i invite her to my house.. it always seems like something 'comes up' and she never gets to come.. either that or she already has plans with the other girl. I don't wanna break the friendship.. but i just don't know what to do.. Any suggestions?

OOOOk! what you need to do here is just talk to your friend about what's bothering you. I'm in 8th grade too... and I know how it feels to be left out. It happened to me a lot last year, but I just talked to my friends about the way I felt and now everything is great! There's no reason for you to break this freindship up because it seems to me like you really care for her. But, when you talk to her, you have to take the right approach. Make sure she know's exactly how you feel, if your angry, tell her your angry. If you are just felling left out, tell her that. Don't let your messages get mixed up and don't yell about it if you still want to be her friend.
Hope I helped!
~*ash

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my friend says she is always excluded but thats not true and its really annoying when i go to ride my bike with some friends and she gets upset cuz we did not invite her well she lives to far away and does not know how to ride a bike this is a really bothering me what should i do to make her see she is never excluded???

Maybe you can start doing things with her just the two of you. That might make her feel like she's wanted a little bit more. Or maybe when you go to ride your bike with people you can even invite her... Even though she lives so far away, she might appreciate it. Just start inviting her more. I don't think she would say something like that if she didn't feel that it were happening.

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my best friend and i have always stuck 2gether, but lately she found this other friend who she keep on hanging out with...i know that you are allowed to have more than one close friend, but i kinda feel hurt that she rather hang out with that girl then me. She has been totally ditching me lately. she acts like i am her best friend when the other girl isn't aroung though, but not the same as she used to...please don't tell me to forget about her because i just can't...please help...
thanx a bunch!

Aright, this is an easy one.. just talk to your friend about what is going on and tell her how you feel. Don't make it seem like your mad or anything, just hurt that she'd rather hang out with this other girl now more than you. If she's your best friend, then she should be able to listen to what you are saying and be able to talk to you about what is going on. Don't get too upset about this though... It may just be that she just needs a little space from you, and in that case, don't sweat it. People need breaks from other people all the time when they're close, and its perfectly normal.

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okay. well i have been best friends with the same three people for 4 years now and we do everything together and i love them to death but now they have new friends and they will talk about plans right in my face and not invite me and so i do other things with my other friends but i cant help but get jelous. its like sometimes i dont want them to be happy unless there with me. I hate feeling this way. I hate being jelous, but i cant help it. Things have changed and i cant take it. I try to take my mind off it and do other things but none of my other friends are as close as they are. i cant just give up on out friendship. How do i stop the jelousy? and Should i tell them how i feel? cause they would probbaly laugh and get mad at me...

sincerely,
Sojelous

Hmm.. I think one of the biggest things I've been saying to everyone is to talk about it. You remind me of my best friend.. actually the same exact thing is going on (really, its kinda scary) with her. She says she feels like she's slipping away from our group. I understand how you feel. It always hurts to loose some friends that you have been best best friends with for a long time. You should just talk to them. Its totally normal to feel jealous. But, if they laugh at you or get mad at you for trying to talk to them about it them they're obviously not worth it! And I mean really. Friends are there to listen to your problems when you are haveing them and to help you out when something is wrong. They shouldn't laugh at you when you try to talk to them about it, and if they do then (I hate to say this but) they aren't "true" friends. They souldn't get mad at you either.. because that's not right. If they do then you are soo much better than them and it might be time to move on. I know its hard to move away from people you have loved and trusted for such a long time, but its really the best thing for you when you are being treated like dirt. I really hope I helped :-)
~*ash

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If it matters, I'm seventeen, and a girl.
Okay, so I've been really close with this friend of mine for about two years. Then all of a sudden, she decided she was too good for me. She dwells in every issue she has until she makes herself depressed. She's getting all "emo", for another thing, and pushing EVERYONE away, except our mutual friend, who happens to be a guy.
Now, she even admitted to him that she had a crush on him for awhile, but she "got over it". Somehow, I don't think she did. We're in a choral group and she always manages to position herself next to him, which bothers me - not because I like him - because I'm used to hearing his part in my ear. I'm used to listening to him. We always used to practice together for concerts, we sit next to each other in choir because we blend, and all that.
Anyway, so the main issue I have is, what do I say to her, if anything? She suddenly decided she was too good for everyone except one guy - oh, and her "college friends" which are her only "real" friends. Most of my friends are in college, and I still don't act like that.
I almost want to confront her about her pompous attitude, and about her supposed crush on our friend, but it would make everything awkward, I know.
What would you all do in this situation? I'm just curious.
I rate ones for stupidity and fours for bad grammar and spelling. =)
Thank ya for your opinions.

Well... I think its always best to talk to someone about what's going on. First off you should talk to her about how you have been noticing her acting different and how you have noticed her pushing people who care about her away. You should try to understand what is wrong with her because maybe something is bothering her that you aren't aware of. Who know's maybe all she really needs is someone to feel sympathy for her and make her feel like she's wanted. Maybe that's why she's acting like she likes this guy. She sees you with him and decides that she wants the attention with him that you have. She's probably just jealous. Also she probably dwells on everything because she doesn't feel as important to anyone and it just makes her depressed... I hope I was of some help
~*ash

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One of my best friends has been dateing this guy for a year. we are both 14. well i have always thought this guy wasnt good for her, i mean he has kicked her, black mailed her, and even sent threats. the threats were jokes, but they wee serious at the time. like there was one rape one. well lately she has been ignoring me for him. it is true that he hasnt been so bad lately and it seems like her does love her, but i still cant take it. it doesnt seem fair that i have always TRIED to be with her, and he hasnt and she takes the side of him. what should i do? should i tell her? should i just let it slide?

The best thing to do is talk to her. Never let something that's bugging you "slide"... that could be the worst thing to do. Maybe its that she doesn't relise she's ignoring you at all, and she's probably not doing it on purpose. Tell her that your friendship means so much to you and some guy shouldn't ever get in the way. Don't make it seem like your mad at her, because that never helps anything. Try to be understanding but at the same time get out what you really want to say to her. She should be able to understand where you are comming from.
As me and my friends always say "Friends forever guys whatever." haha hope I helped,
~*ash

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I think I have sort of created some sort of irreversible obsession over my best friend. I'ts not that I cant live with out her. It just that I refuse to do the simplest thing without her consent or at least knowledge. In some sort of twisted way, I cant think without her.... Shes sort of that one thing that completes me in almost all aspects of my life. I'ts scares me day by day because i feel that such a good thing is always lost... Im paranoid about losing one of the only things that makes my life, worthwhile.... Praying for her everynight doesnt seem enough and even when I'm sleeping next to her...I sleep with the deep penetrating thought that She wont be there when i wake up.... My question to you is this.. Is this a friendship or some sort of ill obsession?????

Please help me?????

19...Female

No way! No obsession! That's why she's your best friend... because you need her. Maybe even you see her as more than a best friend more like a sister... that's how I see my best friend. Best friends are someone that you can depend on no matter what and someone you can always feel comfertable with. You wanting to know what your best friend thinks about things is what most girls do anyway... I know I do at least. You and her are obviously close and that's a great thing! As for worrying about wheather or not she'll be there when you wake up.. stop worrying. I bet she feels the exact same way as you do about her. And if she does, then she'll never leave you.. Never!
Hope I was of some assistance,
~*ash

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