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Iv been serching my whole life for happyness but nothing fufilles me .I know growing up I had strict parents especaly my father who was a police oficer for 20 odd years .I was naglected and emotionaly and physacaly abused .my whole life I was rejected by family and acused of things that I did not do but hafd to live like an outcast .my family said all the time we care abut you but I wasn't treated fairly .now as an adult its hard for me to open up to anyone on the fear of rjection (link)
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Stress, anger, fear, etc. are all taking you away from the present moment. It takes you away from living life fully and enjoyably. It's a terrible affliction to be constantly thinking, but no one realises because everyone suffers from it. I suggest reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.
Do not allow anyone to determine your worthiness. Don't be tempted to give in to feelings of sadness, or to assess your own value based on this. You are a work of art in the making. Like everyone on this planet, you have made errors of judgement and you've had less than stellar moments which you perhaps had no control over when you were young. But your essence is one of purity, light and value. If you don't believe you are worthy of living a happy and fulfilling life now, then you will never achieve it. Change your mindset, find the goodness and the greatness in yourself and your life. See yourself in the cosmic eyes of the universe and you will understand. Let go, my friend, and live in the moment. This is your life and you are in control of how you live it. Live it well.
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would want to marry?
Title says it, really. Why would God, who knows all about us before He gives us life, let someone who will inevitably, truly, with all their heart want to raise a family be so ugly that no man would want them? (link)
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You must find your self worth. You find your self worth once you realise that you've been holding onto your unworthiness! You find your self worth once you realise the truth that you are totally one with the divine spirit 'which is absolutely everything and everyone. It's simple, my friend. Fully accept yourself and love yourself unconditionally. Your appearance matters not.
Complete acceptance of yourself allows a complete transcendence of yourself. You are so incredibly worthy of love, especially your very own. In fact, you are loved more than you can possibly imagine'¦ Here's a beautiful excerpt from a book entitled Love Without Conditions by Paul Ferrini.
"You have learned conditional love from people whose love for you was compromised by their own guilt and fear. These have been your role models. You need not be ashamed of this. You need only be aware of it as a fact.
From the time you were an infant, you were conditioned to value yourself only when people responded positively to you. You learned that your self worth was established externally. That was the fundamental error, which has perpetuated itself throughout your life.
Your parents' experience was no different from yours, nor was your childrenâs' experience. All of you need to heal from the same wounds. All trespasses/violations must be made conscious and the emotions attached to them must be released. This is the way that all wounded beings move from the experience of conditional love to the experience of love without conditions.
In the process of healing, you learn to give yourself the unconditional love you never received from your biological parents. And in this process you are 'born again, and reparented, not by other authority figures, but by the Source of Love inside yourself.
Learning to give love to the wounded person within begins to reverse your belief that your self worth must be based on how others respond to you. Slowly you retrain yourself to value yourself as you are, here and now, without conditions. No one else can do this for you. People can assist and encourage, but no one can teach you how to love yourself. That is the work of each individual soul.
Each soul comes into physical experience intent to grapple with these issues of self-worth. However, very early on in the soul's sojourn here conditions are placed on its natural ability to love and include others in its experience.
Reversing these conditions is essential. If the soul leaves the physical world believing that it is the victim of its experience here, it will be drawn back again to unlearn that belief. However, if the soul awakens to the truth that its worth is not dependent on anything or anyone outside its mind or experience, it will establish itself in the Source of Love and awaken from the dream of abuse.
Awakening from abuse means rejecting the illusion that you are not lovable as you are. You demonstrate love by giving it unconditionally to yourself. And, as you do, you attract others into your life who are able to love you without conditions.
Your attempt to find love outside yourself always fails, because you cannot receive from another something you haven't given to yourself. When you withhold love from yourself, you attract others into your life who are doing the same thing.
The experience of unconditional love begins in your heart, not in someone else's. Don't make your ability to love yourself conditional on someone else's ability to love you. Don't place your faith in the conditions that surround love or in the form in which it presents itself. For these are impermanent and subject to the vicissitudes of every day life.
Real love does not change. It exists independently of the form through which it expresses. The Source of this eternal, omnipresent, formless Love is within you. This is where your faith must be placed, for this Love is as certain as anything you will ever know. And once It is firmly established in your heart, you will never need to look for happiness outside of yourself.
People will come and go in your life. Some people will treat you well. Others will treat you unkindly. You will accept the love that is there and see lack of love for what it is, a cry for help from one who is hurting. You will encourage others to find the Source of love within as you did, knowing fully that you cannot fix their problems. The tragedy of their lives can only be addressed by their willingness to look within their own hearts and minds.
One who loves without conditions places no limits on his freedom nor on anyone else's. He does not try to keep love, for to try to keep it is to lose it. Love is a gift that must constantly be given as it is asked for in each situation. And the giver always knows when and to whom the gift is to be given.
There is nothing complicated about the act of love. It only become complicated when one starts to withhold love, and then it ceases to be love that one offers.
One who loves himself is not afraid to be alone. For being alone is an opportunity to love and accept himself ever more deeply. If his lover rejects him, does he feel unworthy? Does he pity himself and withdraw from the world, or bury himself in the search for a replacement? No. He simply continues breathing and extending his love at each step in his experience.
One who loves himself unconditionally does not love in degrees or with strings attached. He does not search for someone special to love. He loves everyone who stands before him. One person is no more worthy or unworthy of his love than another. This is kind of love that is being born in you now, my brother and sister. This is the kind of love that I offer you and that I ask you to extend to others.
It is very clear. You cannot misunderstand what I am saying to you. Love can only exist between equals. Love can only exist between beings who have learned to love and value themselves internally.
Love takes no hostages. It makes no bargains. It is not compromised by fear. Indeed, where love is present, fear with all its myriad conditions cannot be.
I encourage you to be honest, my friend. What you know of love is not the kind of love I am describing. The kind of love I am describing is absolutely terrifying to you!
Why is this? Because the experience of Real Love ends your experience of the conditional world. When you experience It, you no longer feel separate from others. You lose every aspect of your identity that pushes others away. You open to a larger reality that you create with others through mutual trust. Judgment falls away and acceptance rules.
'I'm not afraid of that,' you say. But consider it please. Be honest with yourself and with me. You ARE afraid of that, because it ends this dream and the only way your ego knows to end the dream is to die. So please recognize your fear of love, your fear of death, your fear of annihilation.
I have said 'lest you die and be born again you shall not enter the kingdom of heaven.' When I said this I was not talking about reincarnation. I was talking about the death of the ego, the death of all beliefs that separate you from others. I was talking about the end of judgment.
What dies is not you. What dies is everything that you thought you were. Every judgment you ever made about yourself or anyone else. That is what dies. And what is born again is full of light and clarity. It is the Christ that has eternal life, in you and in me.
I tell you, my brother and sister, your resurrection is at hand. And you are afraid of it! You cannot fool me. I see you trembling, on your knees, looking up at the cross where you will soon be lifted up to pay for your sinful thoughts and acts. Do not deny your fear or I will not be able to help you.
What dies on the cross is not you. You are not the body. You are not your fearful thoughts. All this can and will die. If not now, it will happen later. You cannot avoid the death of the ego. You cannot avoid the death of the body. But these are not necessarily the same. Do not make the mistake of believing that your ego dies when your body does, or that your body dies when your ego does.
Your ego dies when you no longer have use for it. Until then, it will not be taken from you. You can hold onto you ego almost forever, but you will not do this. For this is hell forever. There will come a time when the pain will be overwhelming. There will come a time when you will call out to me 'Jesus. Please help me. I am ready to let go.' That time comes for every being, I assure you.
[Let us be clear that Jesus has no exclusive place, or position in the Christ Mind. Krishna, Buddha, Moses, Mohammed, Lao Tzu, and many others are consciously joined with him there, or perhaps I should more accurately say 'here.' If you feel more comfortable addressing yourself to Buddha, or Krishna, please do so. Jesus will not be offended. Indeed, he will be pleased, because you are following his teaching of non-separation.]
Until then, all you can do is walk through your fears. Acknowledge every fear you have and turn each one over to me. 'Jesus, I am afraid to die 'Jesus, I am afraid that God will abandon me.' Let your fears come up and turn them over. That will quicken your awakening. That will take you directly to your core issues, to the fear beyond all your fears. Rest assured, when you come to that place, I will stand beside you.
Gentle brother and sister, I ask only for your trust. Give it to me and we shall walk together out of this place of shadows. I cannot protect you from facing your fears, but I can take your hand as you do so. Rest easy. The outcome of your journey is guaranteed. Where I am now, you shall also be. And then you will know with absolute certainty that Love is who you are. It has neither been born in you nor has it died in you. It is inseparable from you. It is your only Identity."
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Lately I have begun to lose faith in my religion and it's starting to bother me because I feel less protected, less comfortable. Kind of alone? What do you do when you lose faith in your religion? Any tips?
(I won't say my religion because I don't particularly think it matters... I'm sure a lot of people from a lot of different religions lose faith after a bit, but come back to it.) (link)
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Perhaps if you are losing faith in your religion then your current religion isn't really for you. I think it would be wise to simple look into spirituality and to focus only on happiness, peace and love. Just like the Buddha said, don’t believe anything unless it resonates with you within your heart and soul. Never take anything for face value. Dive deep within yourself and discover your own Truth and see what resonates with the deepest part of you. That way you won’t be fooling yourself or struggling to believe.
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