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Why would God give someone who wants a family an appearance no one...
would want to marry?
Title says it, really. Why would God, who knows all about us before He gives us life, let someone who will inevitably, truly, with all their heart want to raise a family be so ugly that no man would want them?
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Want to answer more questions in the Miscellaneous category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Spirituality?
You must find your self worth. You find your self worth once you realise that you've been holding onto your unworthiness! You find your self worth once you realise the truth that you are totally one with the divine spirit 'which is absolutely everything and everyone. It's simple, my friend. Fully accept yourself and love yourself unconditionally. Your appearance matters not.
Complete acceptance of yourself allows a complete transcendence of yourself. You are so incredibly worthy of love, especially your very own. In fact, you are loved more than you can possibly imagine'¦ Here's a beautiful excerpt from a book entitled Love Without Conditions by Paul Ferrini.
"You have learned conditional love from people whose love for you was compromised by their own guilt and fear. These have been your role models. You need not be ashamed of this. You need only be aware of it as a fact.
From the time you were an infant, you were conditioned to value yourself only when people responded positively to you. You learned that your self worth was established externally. That was the fundamental error, which has perpetuated itself throughout your life.
Your parents' experience was no different from yours, nor was your childrenâs' experience. All of you need to heal from the same wounds. All trespasses/violations must be made conscious and the emotions attached to them must be released. This is the way that all wounded beings move from the experience of conditional love to the experience of love without conditions.
In the process of healing, you learn to give yourself the unconditional love you never received from your biological parents. And in this process you are 'born again, and reparented, not by other authority figures, but by the Source of Love inside yourself.
Learning to give love to the wounded person within begins to reverse your belief that your self worth must be based on how others respond to you. Slowly you retrain yourself to value yourself as you are, here and now, without conditions. No one else can do this for you. People can assist and encourage, but no one can teach you how to love yourself. That is the work of each individual soul.
Each soul comes into physical experience intent to grapple with these issues of self-worth. However, very early on in the soul's sojourn here conditions are placed on its natural ability to love and include others in its experience.
Reversing these conditions is essential. If the soul leaves the physical world believing that it is the victim of its experience here, it will be drawn back again to unlearn that belief. However, if the soul awakens to the truth that its worth is not dependent on anything or anyone outside its mind or experience, it will establish itself in the Source of Love and awaken from the dream of abuse.
Awakening from abuse means rejecting the illusion that you are not lovable as you are. You demonstrate love by giving it unconditionally to yourself. And, as you do, you attract others into your life who are able to love you without conditions.
Your attempt to find love outside yourself always fails, because you cannot receive from another something you haven't given to yourself. When you withhold love from yourself, you attract others into your life who are doing the same thing.
The experience of unconditional love begins in your heart, not in someone else's. Don't make your ability to love yourself conditional on someone else's ability to love you. Don't place your faith in the conditions that surround love or in the form in which it presents itself. For these are impermanent and subject to the vicissitudes of every day life.
Real love does not change. It exists independently of the form through which it expresses. The Source of this eternal, omnipresent, formless Love is within you. This is where your faith must be placed, for this Love is as certain as anything you will ever know. And once It is firmly established in your heart, you will never need to look for happiness outside of yourself.
People will come and go in your life. Some people will treat you well. Others will treat you unkindly. You will accept the love that is there and see lack of love for what it is, a cry for help from one who is hurting. You will encourage others to find the Source of love within as you did, knowing fully that you cannot fix their problems. The tragedy of their lives can only be addressed by their willingness to look within their own hearts and minds.
One who loves without conditions places no limits on his freedom nor on anyone else's. He does not try to keep love, for to try to keep it is to lose it. Love is a gift that must constantly be given as it is asked for in each situation. And the giver always knows when and to whom the gift is to be given.
There is nothing complicated about the act of love. It only become complicated when one starts to withhold love, and then it ceases to be love that one offers.
One who loves himself is not afraid to be alone. For being alone is an opportunity to love and accept himself ever more deeply. If his lover rejects him, does he feel unworthy? Does he pity himself and withdraw from the world, or bury himself in the search for a replacement? No. He simply continues breathing and extending his love at each step in his experience.
One who loves himself unconditionally does not love in degrees or with strings attached. He does not search for someone special to love. He loves everyone who stands before him. One person is no more worthy or unworthy of his love than another. This is kind of love that is being born in you now, my brother and sister. This is the kind of love that I offer you and that I ask you to extend to others.
It is very clear. You cannot misunderstand what I am saying to you. Love can only exist between equals. Love can only exist between beings who have learned to love and value themselves internally.
Love takes no hostages. It makes no bargains. It is not compromised by fear. Indeed, where love is present, fear with all its myriad conditions cannot be.
I encourage you to be honest, my friend. What you know of love is not the kind of love I am describing. The kind of love I am describing is absolutely terrifying to you!
Why is this? Because the experience of Real Love ends your experience of the conditional world. When you experience It, you no longer feel separate from others. You lose every aspect of your identity that pushes others away. You open to a larger reality that you create with others through mutual trust. Judgment falls away and acceptance rules.
'I'm not afraid of that,' you say. But consider it please. Be honest with yourself and with me. You ARE afraid of that, because it ends this dream and the only way your ego knows to end the dream is to die. So please recognize your fear of love, your fear of death, your fear of annihilation.
I have said 'lest you die and be born again you shall not enter the kingdom of heaven.' When I said this I was not talking about reincarnation. I was talking about the death of the ego, the death of all beliefs that separate you from others. I was talking about the end of judgment.
What dies is not you. What dies is everything that you thought you were. Every judgment you ever made about yourself or anyone else. That is what dies. And what is born again is full of light and clarity. It is the Christ that has eternal life, in you and in me.
I tell you, my brother and sister, your resurrection is at hand. And you are afraid of it! You cannot fool me. I see you trembling, on your knees, looking up at the cross where you will soon be lifted up to pay for your sinful thoughts and acts. Do not deny your fear or I will not be able to help you.
What dies on the cross is not you. You are not the body. You are not your fearful thoughts. All this can and will die. If not now, it will happen later. You cannot avoid the death of the ego. You cannot avoid the death of the body. But these are not necessarily the same. Do not make the mistake of believing that your ego dies when your body does, or that your body dies when your ego does.
Your ego dies when you no longer have use for it. Until then, it will not be taken from you. You can hold onto you ego almost forever, but you will not do this. For this is hell forever. There will come a time when the pain will be overwhelming. There will come a time when you will call out to me 'Jesus. Please help me. I am ready to let go.' That time comes for every being, I assure you.
[Let us be clear that Jesus has no exclusive place, or position in the Christ Mind. Krishna, Buddha, Moses, Mohammed, Lao Tzu, and many others are consciously joined with him there, or perhaps I should more accurately say 'here.' If you feel more comfortable addressing yourself to Buddha, or Krishna, please do so. Jesus will not be offended. Indeed, he will be pleased, because you are following his teaching of non-separation.]
Until then, all you can do is walk through your fears. Acknowledge every fear you have and turn each one over to me. 'Jesus, I am afraid to die 'Jesus, I am afraid that God will abandon me.' Let your fears come up and turn them over. That will quicken your awakening. That will take you directly to your core issues, to the fear beyond all your fears. Rest assured, when you come to that place, I will stand beside you.
Gentle brother and sister, I ask only for your trust. Give it to me and we shall walk together out of this place of shadows. I cannot protect you from facing your fears, but I can take your hand as you do so. Rest easy. The outcome of your journey is guaranteed. Where I am now, you shall also be. And then you will know with absolute certainty that Love is who you are. It has neither been born in you nor has it died in you. It is inseparable from you. It is your only Identity."
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WOW, i can see you are very opinionated. there are differences between you and God.
1. you lust with the flesh, and God doesn't
2. you are created in your own image and so is everyone else
3. God loves everyone and he looks at them as his children...you could take the "ugliest" person in the world and put him in front of God eyes, but God will still say he is beautiful. you know why, because God's works are perfect and until you can learn to accept yourself and his creation, you will never see that...
He loves you too, and he doesn't judge you, so why do you judge others. only he is suppose to judge, and yet he hasn't judged you!!
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alright sunshine, turn that frown upside down.
so you're not a supermodel. Great, neither am I. once you learn to deal with your self-image, you'll do fine. go hang out with people in your church group or whatever social activity that you invest, let people know you for who you are, not what you look like. when you're confident, people pick up on that, and I promise that there's some dude out there in your general vicinity thats looking for a cool chick to share his life with, and his thought pattern is something along the lines of- "hot chicks are hot, but why the fuck would I want to wake up next to somebody every morning for the rest of my life, and have that somebody be completely incapable of carrying on good breakfast conversation!?"
sure, the hot chick may be able to cook an awesome omlet, but ten years down the road, all that boils down to is that I'm going to force myself to choke to death on an awesome omlet in an attempt to escape some awful, halting, annoying, valley-girl 'like' laced monstrosity of a declarative statement.
you'll find a nice boy, quit worrying.
-Gunner
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There are ways to enhance ones appearance although I do not believe in altering ones appearance unless medically necessary. There is a saying beauty is only skin deep. This is very true, outer beauty is only skin deep. It is the inner person that is beautiful and from just the little you have written I can tell you are a very beautiful person.
People with outer beauty have no problem finding people to mate with; the problems come up after the lust wears off and they find there is no one behind the outer beauty; or the person behind the outer beauty is so vain that they can't be lived with.
You can enhance what you have through diet, exercise, make up and hair style. Join groups that interest you so that you can meet people with similar interests who can get to know the inner you, the beautiful you.
If you sit at home and allow yourself to get fat you will not find a mate. You will find a mate if you go out in the world and enjoy yourself by finding groups and going to places that interest you. Facial beauty is not the end all of end all's. Keep your body and mind fit and enjoy life and don't be surprised if some hunk doesn't come up and ask you to dance.
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Have you not noticed? Ugly people find each other and breed. Even people with severe appearance deficits get laid. After all, look at your mother OH MY GOD I JUST WENT THERE. High five? Don't leave me hanging.
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With all these kinds of "why would god" questions (e.g. why would god let a child suffer, why would god let injustice prevail, why would god let people die of painful diseases, etc) there are 3 options:
1. He does not want to do anything about it
2. He is unable to do anything about it
3. He does not exist
If it is 1, then he his no good god. If it is 2, then he is no omnipotent god. If it is 3... well, then everything pretty much happens by chance and/or nature's trial and error.
So, to answer your question, I challenge your original premise - the fact that you assume there is a god that knows us and gives us life. There is absolutely nothing to back that assumption (unfortunately).
As with everything, we are dealt the hand we are dealt. Some good people are born handicapped, some have mental deficiencies, some have horrible diseases, etc. Meanwhile some bad people have it all. Its terribly random and terribly unfortunate. Its life.
That being said, there is often more to things than just looks. I dont know how old you are, or what you have been through, but the possibility of finding someone is only limited, not precluded, by "bad" looks. There is a lot that can make up for it in terms of personality, attitude, energy, etc. and some guys (particularly later in life) will see through that.
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If ugly people didn't have sex and make babies, where are all the new ugly people coming from?
I'm only partially kidding.
No one can answer your questions about God. Some people will try, but it's unlikely their answers will satisfy you. God isn't in the habit of justifying the random unpleasantness and injustices of life to human beings. (If God was, I'd hope he might explain why he allows millions of children to starve to death each year, or why create a bug that consumes people's eyes?).
People will tell you some shit about 'You don't get more than you can handle' (tell that to the person who couldn't 'handle' their drug overdose?) or that 'it will make you stronger' (because being strong is more important than being happy?) and that's all nice and good, but the truth is this:
Often, things suck.
Often, situations we are in can make us miserable. Often, we have very little power over our situations.
You can't make things NEVER suck.
You can ALWAYS make things suck less.
How do you make feeling lousy about your appearance suck less? Well, you shower regularly, go to gym, watch what you eat. Also, you smile a lot, you cultivate a generous spirit that others appreciate, a kind sense of humor and an easy laugh.
You don't become a bitter, resentful soul who is a pain to be around. You don't let feeling ugly be your excuse for ugly behavoir.
You change the things you can change: Your attitude, your mind and the way you treat others, and become a person worth being around.
The truth is that even if you DON'T work on yourself and work on being the best person you are capable of being, you will still probably find someone who will sleep with you eventually. Most people do. But you still wont be very happy, and it's unlikely the person you are with will be a very happy person either. You'll pass your unhappiness and belief about your own unworthiness down to your children, and the whole miserable cycle will continue...
If you can't find something to be positive about in the person you are today, then change and make something to be positive about because if you don't, you'll never have anything to be positive about. Neither will anyone else in your life. That is it's own punishment.
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