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Q: growing up not having my dad around really messed me up. he never told me he loved me and as a result to that I have been on a search for love ever since. Ive been with all kinds of guys who abused me mentally physically and emotionally. I have been heart broken so many timetimes... How do I get over the whole "i neef love" phase ?
18F

I have been through exactly what you have been through. My father abandoned my mother and I when I was ten, cheated on her, and started a whole new other family. He didn't care about us, and he still doesn't. He has four other kids that he never ever pays child support for, including me and my sister...but that's not something that is relevant to your situation... so...

Anyway, since I have been abandoned, I have always had this longing for love just as you have. I've been with too many jerks, and it has caused me to become insecure and paranoid and afraid of being hurt. I have a hard time coping with such feelings. But because I am like this, I tend to get attached easily....

I'm sure we are similar.

I would suggest seeing a counselor or a close friend for your phase. But honest, I'm sure you'll find someone that will be patient and loving to you even if you are needy and have been hurt badly in the past to where it effects you presently. If you need any help, inbox me.

xoxo
romeoandrebecca

Q: 17/f 21/m

I dated this guy when I was 15 and got pregnant. I broke up with him when I was 4 months pregnant because he was very controlling, manipulative, emotionally abusive, intimidating...etc. He never hit me but he has left bruises on me because he grabbed my arms too hard. He got married, and I knew his wife before they started dating. He came to see the baby for 3 months, dipped for 8 months, came back, and now he hasnt seen her in a month or 2 'because of work'. He doesnt pay child support but I dont want to pursue it because I dont want him to get any kjnd of custody.

This week, he was arrested and I found out that he has been physically violent towards his wife the whole time. She sent me a picture of her black eye. She got a restraining order on him and she suggested I do the same. Now im terrified of him because he has anger towards me and I now know what hes capable of. I have a few questions:

-i really dont want him apart of my or my childs life because hes unstable and dangerous. Hes not on the birth certificate either. Is it wrong for me to cut off all contact from him and not let him see the baby?

-hes from peru and was not a citizen, but his wife is. Did that automatically make him a citizen? Or did he still have to apply? Because she wants to try to get him deported. (he already has a pretty large record)

Any other advice is welcome, thank you !

No, it is not. He obviously is a danger to not only you, but other people too! I think it is the right thing to keep him away from your child, although he still might have to pay child support even if his name isn't on the certificate. I would advise you talk to court.

I'm not sure about deportation and such, though.

Good luck. Any questions, just inbox me!

Q: Should I be worried by my loss of the "good" emotions as they are. Empathy, love, symnpathy all those are lessening each day some I don't even feel at all anymore. Should I be worried though I don't seem to care much at all about them?

I used to feel that way. Up and down. Happy, sad, happy, sad. It was a constant battle. I felt so emotionless, so depressed. I started spending so much time alone. But then I just decided to pick myself up and rediscover who I am. I started getting back into my old hobbies and going to counseling and spending time for myself.

Try talking to a counselor or a doctor. Suggest antidepressents. I'm good on them. Also, find yourself again. Find the person you were before all these feelings were lost. Spend a day or two outside, for a walk or something. Go to a coffee shop and spend some time to think. Or simply relax and listen to mellow music. It worked for me. I am so renewed and happy with myself. I hope you will regain your emotions.

Any more help, just message me! I hope I helped!

Q: ok so my mom is always yelling or telling me im a b**** or a little f*** and i'm getting so upset and tired of it. she tells me and my sister to shut up and go the f*** away whenever we try to talk to her about anything cuz she is always on stupid facebook on her phone whenever she isnt screaming at a member of my family. and i hate wen she yells so much because she yells much louder than my neighbors who were actually in the military (no lie). and sometimes she squeezes my face and screams in my face for some dumb reason (she has done this many times in the past but not too recently.) and other times, she says "i brought u into this world and i can take you out" and she says that she will kick me to the ground, help me up then kick me down again. and she says that she will smash me and my sister's heads 2gether. anyway, is this normal and ok for her to do? oh and fyi, she has never beat me before. she has just grabbed me with her nails and they went into my skin a little bit a few times and she has grabbed my face but nothing horrible. . .

My mom freaks out like that too. She's rather intimidating and violent and brings me down like your mom does. In my opinion, it is not okay. Children shouldn't be treated like that. But I'm just following my morals. She's your mother, and she obviously needs adjustment.
My advice: grow from it. Learn from it. Although it's hurtful to see your mother as such, you really can't do much because she's an adult and she is older. Accept that fact firstly. Don't try to fight it. All you can do is learn to adjust to it, or try your best to act better and avoid it. I'm not sure the cause of the way your mother acts, but try suggesting counseling or talking to a school counselor. Talking always helps. My mom and I used to go to counseling and it helped get out awkward feelings and past pain. Also, try talking to your mom. Tell her it hurts when she calls you negative names. Tell her you want to be friends and not have so much yelling and drama. Try to spend some quality time with her to lighten weights off your shoulders, like going out to eat or getting pedicures... I hope I helped!

bio

Hi! I'm Selina!

I've been through so much in my life, and these experiences have made me stronger... I love music, sunshine, and videogames.

I'm a pretty friendly, loving person and I'm here for anyone when they need it. I'm honest and I'm always open, so just inbox me!

Happiness is what I aim for.