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Um...angsty teenager?Age:
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BittersweetRain4Member Since:
August 21, 2004Answers:
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Hey everyone! My name is Jessi and I'm 15/f/IL. I've always been excellent at giving advice...or so I've been told by my friends. So you can ask me anything and everything...although I have a rather special talent for makeup emergencies (considering my mom sells it) and for dealing with affairs of the heart. (Some of my friends automatically come to me for boy problems.)And, without further ado...my advice column!
advice
okay well you see, my boyfriend told me that his parents are getting divorced because his best friends mom was hitting on his dad all the time and it was ticking my boyfriends mom off so she said she wanted a divorce. i promised him i would tell anyone and then one night when two of my best friends slept over they figured something was up so they asked me & i told them. some how now one of my best friend's sisters and all her friends know and i'm afraid because my boyfriend's best friend doens't know anything about their parents and stuff and i promised not to tell and now i'm afirad that some how he is gonna find out that almost everyone knows and he is gonna think it was me who ktold & ididn't and he's broken up with me a couple times before for stupid reasons and this is big and i'm scared he is gonna do it again and he is gonna gget in trouble with his parents for telling me. and i have know clue what to do or say or what. i just don't want to make the situation worse.please help me out here :'(
First of all, you said "he is gona think it was me who told and I didn't." The fact of the matter is you DID tell some people about. (Unless I read the explanation wrong.)
Secondly, it is true that you shouldn't have told your friends. If you wanted to talk about the situation some more, you probably should have talked to your boyfriend about it, or at least not given your friends too many details. Just for future reference.
However, you did tell them, and the word is out. Now what do you do? You may not like this answer, but...you just have to own up to it. You have to be the bigger person and confess and apologize. Your boyfriend will probably be pretty angry with you and not trust you. I couldn't really blame him, some things are just kind of confidential and don't need to be repeated. You'll just have to make it up to him by apologizing and show him that he really can trust you...this was a huge step backwards in the relationship, and it'll take some time to gain a full level of trust back.
Though I also do not think if he is a good guy that he would break up with you for doing this...it was a mistake, but I believe everything can be forgiven. Which brings me to another point: if he has broken up with you so many times for "stupid reasons" then perhaps you should re-evaluate the relationship altogether. It might not be working out.
That was long, and I hope it helped a little. Sorry I was a little unsupportive, but I'm very very big on trust. If you want more help or want to talk things out (I promise I'll be more compassionate, lol) you can IM me sometime at BittersweetRain4.
Good luck!
im 18 and my sister is 24. me and my sister dont get along much. once in awhile, were fine, but other than that, shes always screaming at me. a lot of my friends dont like her, nor does my guy. as the years gone by, ive learned to adapt to the way she treats me, but lately, it has gotten too out of hand and it makes me cry a lot. i told her plenty of times before that she hurts my feelings and shed apologize, but the next day, she still treats me like shit. i know that sisters are supposed to be there for each other through thick and thin, but its more like i have her back and she just brings me down, because basically, she does. she makes my parents go against me, which causes me more pain. what should i do? ive tried talking to her numerous times, but that doesnt ever seem to work? help.. because its literally killing me inside..
I know exactly what you mean. I have two older sisters, and sometimes I think that they just plain don't like me or want me around. But then there are little things they do that make me feel like, even if they don't show it, they love me.
You talk about how your sister treats you so horrible all the time. Aren't there SOME times that she has also done something nice for you? It may be hard to see at first, but try to think of just some little things that she has done. There are some. There are always some.
And I think I'd have to know what you mean by treating you like "shit." I think my older sisters do too, but my mom explained it as being a big sister thing. They want to boss me around because they feel they have to protect me. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense until after you've thought about it for a while.
You should just tell your sister that being around her makes you feel really sad and you are in pain from how she treats you. Tell her you love her so much, but you feel somtimes like maybe she doesn't love you back. Add how much you want to be friends with her, and that maybe you both should make a pact not to fight with each other. And if one of you starts to get snappy, the other one just leaves the room for a minute so you both can get yourselves under control.
Good luck!
My mom actually needs help with this one, but I'll explain.
Last night my neighbors who are around my age (I'm 14) came over. My mom rented 3 movies (even though we really couldn't afford it) but being the whiners they are, they didn't want to see any of them, so we let them bring their own movie over, for my and my 11-year old bro to watch with them. They chose Scary Movie and I have no idea why their mom let me! It was really inappropriate for my brother, who's going in to sixth grade. I mean, people were giving each other bjs and hjs, a girl got stuck to the ceiling by cum, etc. It was really digusting. The worst part is that they thought it was hilarious, Nick (older one, around my age) in particular kept going, "Noelle, come here" (my mom's name) at the grossest parts. Their mom is normally a pretty good mom but I just don't understand how on earth she could think it was appropriate for my brother. Obviously her boys were too immature for it too. My mom is going to call their Mom, Denise, whom we've been friends with for many years. Denise can get offended and mad very easily, so what should my mom say? And what should she say next time the boys want to bring over a movie?
Sorry about the long question. I rate!
Your mom should probably just say, "I think the movie the kids watched last time was a little inappropriate for my youngest son (I didn't catch your little brother's name). Did you know they brought Scary Movie over? It has a lot of sexual content," and see what Denise says. Maybe she didn't even know how gross it was. And if she did, and she gets offended, your mom should just tell her that she doesn't want her kids to be watching stuff like that at this young because it could be a little misleading about sex. Sex should be a beautiful, loving act, between two mature adults who love each other, not between teenagers for raunchy fun. Maybe then Denise will agree, if your mom presents her case politely and gently.
Good luck!
A little less then two months ago I found out my cousin was raped and i've been having some trouble dealing with it.I'm really close to this cousin , she's liek my best friend.when i first found out i just started crying , i couldnt even look at anyone for a copuple days.That i had to cry myself to sleep.i used to live in a house with her in when i was younger,i lived on the bottom and she lived on the top.Whenever i think about her and her baby i cant help but cry and its so hard for me to look at her without crying.I cant help but think maybe if i hadnt moved away i would have been with her and i could have stopped the jerk who did this to her.I seem to be the only person in my family who thinks she can finish high school and still take care of her baby.i mean its her family thier supose to be supportive of her.She was raped when she was 14 and had her baby when she was 15.She was born about 3weeks ago.I still cant help but worry about her and feel like i could have done something and i should tell my parents to be more supportive of her and stop thinking so negative.I couldnt even talk to my best friend about this w/o feeling stupid so if anyone has any advice for me, please send it.
I can understand that you would have a hard time dealing with something this big. It is really huge when someone so close to you that you love so much is hurt so badly like this. I'm not going to lie about how it isn't so bad, because, to be blunt, yeah, it sucks. Big time.
But really, you have to ask yourself this: could you really have stopped the "jerk" who raped your cousin if you had still been living with her? To be honest...probably not. You might have been at a friend's house that night, out of town, etc, etc.
I don't always like to bring God into this, because a lot of people get offended when religion is mentioned. But I am going to offer my views from a religious point of view, to see if they help you at all.
I have always believe that everything is predestined, that God knows what is going to happen. And this does not affect free choice; God just already knows what decisions you will be making. I also have always believed that God favors each and every one of us by giving us each different gifts to further His kingdom.
I do not want to call your cousin's rape a gift. But maybe the baby is a gift. Maybe raising this child will change her life, for the better. Maybe it will open up things to her she has never known, like a love so big it cannot be broken. And she can use this knowledge to further God's kingdom.
Also, remember that you are not the only one who cares for her. I am sure that your parents love her very much, and that she is getting a lot of support right now. But maybe high school just really isn't a good idea, what with her new baby. Going to school, dealing with social problems, homework, pressure from teachers...add having a baby to the mix, and it is just way too much. You're right that she could probably finish out high school, but it might be too much stress on her. Taking time off might be a good thing.
As always, remember that everything will be okay, as long as you do what's right by you.