HEY EVERYONE, I'M KAT!
and i'm here to help :)
i love to give advice, and i've been told that i give some good advice, aswell.
i'm very dedicated once i get involved in someone's problems, and i'll probably make sure you're okay, and that my answer has been sufficent.
i don't 'sugarcoat' my answers, as just about every columnist on this site complains about, but i do present everything in a way that people will be able to handle, and relate to in their situation.
i could honestly care less about ratings, i just wanna help some people out. in my problems, current and past, i seek help through my friends, who i adore.
i'm a huge my chemical romance fan, and i know pretty much everything about them; so if you have a question on them, i'm here. go for it. ;)
i'm unique in my own way, so ask me for something, and i'll give you a fairly different answer.
XOXO
KAT!
Website: MYSPACE
E-mail: ohshnitzelstix@yahoo.com
Gender: Female
Location: PENNSYLVANIA
Occupation: PSYCOLOGY
ICQ: NONE
AIM: kittyhoesays
Yahoo: NONE
MSN: XO_GRAZIANO_OX@HOTMAIL.COM
Member Since: August 8, 2006
Answers: 380
Last Update: June 21, 2009
Visitors: 25519
Main Categories:
Mental health
Friendship
Families
View All
Favorite Columnists
askkatie
|
| |
|
ok i think i have an unhealthy obsession with gerard way from my chemical romance. ok all i think about is him and i mean i am 13 years old and all i think about is him. i mean my desktop is him, my screen saver is him, my aol sn is him, everything is him. i mean when i found out he was engaged i cryed for 4 hours straight (seriously) and im still so upset that he is engaged. i mean yeah i know i will never have a chance with him i just feel better knowing he is single. i just am so upset and i mean i just cant stop thinkin about him. what do i do??? (by the way plz dont say "find another crush" or something like that because it doesnt work) (link)
|
Hey!
Okay, so I understand your obsession; I am just as bad. I mean, I love that band with my life, and I think I probably hate Eliza Cuts as much as you, lol. But this is a fairly unhealthy obsession. Mainly the crying thing, because I got really upset about the engagement, too.
What I did was just to really, really think about it. I mean, he's thirty *tear*, and we're thirteen and fourteen year olds. There's not really any way there'd ever be a relationship, though we'd both love that,l ol.
You don't have to just drop your obsession, but you can look at things seriously. Also, TRY (i'm a hypocrite, because I personally can't) to be happy about the engagement. Maybe then we'll have little Gerard Way kiddies around :P. I guess that he's happy, we should all be happy?
Gah, I'm sorry. I'm just as bad as you, so I'm not much help, lol.
|
|
i got caught with a drug and now all i want to do is put it all behind me. i never want to do it again but its hard because some of my friends still do it. i need distractions or something. how do i keep myself away from drugs? (link)
|
Aw, it's great that you wanna move away from all that.
Make sure you start making other friends. I'm not saying you should completly ditch your friends who do that (though I honestly probably would..) but make sure you're not near them when their using. If they are, just go hang out with some of your other friends.
If there's some reason you can't leave, just have a good time along with them, MINUS THE DRUGS. Eh, I guess you could always just ask them to be polite and wait till you leave, too. If their really your friends, they should just wait..
Hope this has helped at all.
Ksat
|
|
I'm 5'2 and 100 pounds but i really wanna gain some weight. I try eating junk but it doesn't help cause i have a fast metabolism.what should i do as long as it's not danderous to my health? (link)
|
There are many weight gain shakes and drinks out there, actually. Just look in the refridgerated foods section of your grocery store, I know there's a chocolate drink that my aunt drank to gain weight, which gave her great results!!
Sorry this isnt' so specific, though, but I hope this has helped a bit!!
|
|
ok i really dont know know to spell it, so ill just refer to them as shrinks. ok so generelly, when do you think would be a good time to see one, like just give examples E.g. when you cant stand on anythin more than a meter because you're afraid of heights. like that. thanks in advance:) (link)
| |
they'll most likely try to find out what triggered your fear first (by talking to you about past experiances). then, they'll probably work up your courage, step by step, to be able to handle heights.
|
|
To start off, i'm going through a crazy ass time in high school, i'm sucidial, i'm overweight, i'm bi and i'm bi-polar which is all very fucking bad at the same time. now my grades are slipping, my relationships w/ my friends and family are going away, i'm starting getting i w/ drugs and booze, what should i do? (link)
|
I'm really sorry about what it was to trigger this, but really, first off you NEED to stop the drugs and drinking. That will make EVERYTHING worse, and the longer you're doing that, the more you'll get sucked in.
Being suicidal, I'm sure you've probably heard of some ways to not think about that. Keep yourself extremly busy. Be with the best friends you've got, as often as possible. Also, if you haven't heard of it (if you're cutting) try wearing a rubber band on your wrist, and snap it when you've got a problem. It sounds dumb, and even if you've tried it before, try it again. You don't even have to lie to your friends about it, because if they see you flicking yourself, they will know you need to talk to someone. But if you don't want to tell them anything, you could always say that it's there for convenience.
But if nothing like that works, just concentrate on how much you death/injuries would hurt the ones who love you. If you need to, think about every time you hurt yourself, or even think about hurting yourself, you're doing the EXACT same thing to them. Just listen to me when I say there are more people out there than you know who care about you.
About being overweight, there are so many options. Just try not to turn to anything that would hurt you. It sounds dumb, and corney, and difficult, but stay dedicated to a healthy diet. Try to write down everything you write during the day, and think about if you would be proud of writing that down at the end of the day (what you ate).
About being bi.. if it makes you happy to have your options open and everything, then it dosen't concern anyone else. It's your life, and make sure they know that if you have to make it clear. I know people probably think it's odd of you to be bisexual, but really, it's only YOUR happiness that matters.
And with your relationships.. just make sure you try to talk with your friends and family. Be there for them when they're in need of help, and let them be there for you. Don't push them away when you're going through something, becuase they only want you to be healthy and happy. Also, if they're making new friends and seem to be forgetting you or something, don't try to even the score by pushing them away, just make sure they still know you are good friends with them, and you dont want to lose them.
I hope I've helped, and if you need to talk, email me at xo_graziano_ox@hotmail.com
Kat
|
My friends dont know me anymore. I've changed so much and I don't know what to do. I'm always the "good girl" that would never do anything bad or wrong. I've been labeled that for the past 2 years and I hate it. Everyone know's me as the "always happy, preppy, good girl". But I'm not like that anymore. I love doing crazy things that are shocking. I want a tattoo and my belly button pierced. I want to drink & try new things (haha not drugs though!) I wanna have fun.
See this all started happening when I became close to this one girl. Her name is Erica. She is a senoir and i'm a freshmen. She's really cool and laid back. She's one of my best friends. We hang out all weekend and talk almost everyday on the week days. She is the complete opposite of me though. I'm way preppy and always smile and laugh. She's dresses down and doesn't care about what she looks like. I guess she's a good influence in some way, because she made me learn not to care so much about what other people think (but i still do!!).
My whole life I always knew I was being someone I wasn't. I wasn't this always happy good girl barbie that I was labeled and been labeled. Towards the end of last school year and this school year, I got more into the "f*ck life and have fun" attitude. I wanted to do pot and drink. I wanted to always do something that was crazy and unexpected of me. I fell in love with the old rock classics (60s-70s)and if people hear me listening to that music... they're like "eww chelsey.. you're becoming a druggy?!". (since when did the music you listen to label you as a druggy or non-user?).
But ANYWAY... I've finally opened my eyes and notcied that erica is a bad influence in my life. She's the one who introduced me to all of this. Smoking, drinking, pot, music, & my attitude. I don't know if this is who I've always been and it was just covered up with hollister clothes and california hair or what, but i'm so confused now. I don't know how to say this, but I like this new person way better then the old. I'm so much more opened and dareing (?).
Now the hard part is, my friends refuse to believe this. If I even curse, there like "OMG! chels you cutie, thats mega bad... when did you start using those words!?!!". AHHH im like stfu. And then I think to myself, what if they knew i wanted to drink or try pot... they would like sign me up for therapy. I don't know what to do?!?! I want people to realize that I've changed, and accept that fact that people change, and wanna do different things. Whats your adivce? What should I do about my life? I don't even know where to begin with all my feelings. Thank-you for answering HONESTLY... I really respect your opinion.
One more thing... I kinda started seeing this kid this year and me and him really hit it off. He's mr. popular and stuff so when he first started talking to me I was soo excited! But now that were haning out more often we almost created like a relationship. A couple nights ago, I found out that he drinks and gets high often. When me and him went over to our one friends house (they were having a party). He took me back in their yard to the bon-fire. A couple of my best friends were down there so I started talking to them, but then they went up and i followed them half way and then went back to the bon-fire. When I came down they were smoking and getting high. Now it just wasn't the kid i liked... it was some of my other guy friends too. They offered it to me.. and I reacted quickly by taking the blunt and throwing it in the fire. (hahaha i know right). So now is it that my friends can smoke but i cant? and i get yelled at if i even curse? WTF?!
Please, I need advice soo badly! : ( Thank-you (link)
|
Aww, I'm sorry for breaking this to you, but so many teenagers have this problem. Image, according to others usually is something huge, but that shouldn't stop you from dressing how you want to dress along with acting how you want to act. I'm definately not reccomending drinking or anything, but you dont need to have your friends approval to be you. Just remember that. Just remember that it only matters what YOU think about yourself, and it wouldn't matter if you dressed completly goth and were the most innocent little kid in the world, people are still going to see you as how you dress, but really only you and the ones you are really close to will see the real person you are.
If your other friends don't realize who you are now, though, maybe try dressing down? ONly if you want to, though.
Also, just remember how horrible smoking is. I dont know if you'd want to do it for the new image or to be daring or anything, but in my opinion it's just dumb. lol. But I guess the sad thing is that your friends still probably see you as the innocent kid. They're just going to probably get used to it eventually.
|
|
I'm a columnist on here and have been for about a year or so. I've noticed hundreds of questions dealing with depression. While I understand that it seems to be more common in teenagers now, why is it that it is mostly girls? Is it the way they are raised? Is it imprinted in DNA? I'm interested in the psychological aspect of it and hope to major in it someday, but I've looked it up everywhere online and can't find a reliable source. Anyone know the causes of this or where to find it? Thanks. (link)
|
Well, it could be the hormones, but guys have that, too. Girls are more open about that kind of thing, too.
Over all, I think it's because of all the things girls have to worry about today, looks, whether people like them, drama, ect. It's really stressful, and can definately bring on depression.
|
|
ok lately all this stuff has been going on in my life wich sux cuz my life finally got normal again i was always good at dealing with stress but this time i think it has gotten to me i cry like alot and i wanna cut my wrists and i go through mood swings alot and i am lways tired and i am even pushing away my best freind sm seriously depressed do i need to get help or am i normal for my age 13/f and if i need help how do i get it cuz like i said my family is all going through alot i dont want to stress them out even more (link)
|
Well, it could be because of hormones, they really kick in at this age, as you probably have heard.
Just, please, please, please, don't hurt yourself. It helps with nothing, and it may seem like it does at the time, because it relives stress, but then the stress just comes right back, because cutting is not a permenant, but temporary stress reliever. Then, cutting causes even more issues with friends and family.
If you feel the need to do this, just snap your wrist with a rubberband, draw on your wrist with a marker, or exercise ((you'll feel the burn and it relieves stress))
The best way to not stress your family//friends out, is to not do anything to stres them out. Don't concentrate on the sad thoughts, because that will just make youf eel sorry for yourself. Concentrate on being happy, and let your friend be there fory ou, it will make youf eel alott better!!
Good luck, and write//email me if you need something!
xo_graziano_ox@hotmail.com
|
|
well, i use to be a very not shy, friendly, talkative girl. i really didn't have lack of confidence or anything like that. then, i had this situation which tore my confidence. it was just a situation that someone REALLY REALLY hurt me and it was about two years ago. but, sometimes, when i remember i just go to a corner and start crying. ever since, i've been kind of scared and timid and i even developed a little bit of anxiety. i didn't have fun at all these places i loved to go. i spent about two years like this. this year, i feel like i'm getting out there more. i've been talking to people, making new friends, joining more clubs, starting clubs, basically just being more active and not being so shy. but, then when i go talk to people, it all comes back to me. all the stuff that he said to me. and then i think that i'm annoying. i shouldn't talk so much. i shouldn't try to be so friendly around people. i dunno. then it starts to get to me again. one of the things he said was that i was annoying. but, that's not all he said. he said a whole bunch of bad things that i'm not even going to write here. but that's how it started off, by saying that i was annoying. i feel so confused. i don't know what to be. if i am too quiet, i don't feel happy. if i'm outgoing, like the person that i use to be, i think i'm annoying. but, i want to be that person again, be that way before i thought i was annoying. can someone please give me some advice? (link)
|
Put that in your past. Make new friends. Forget about whatever it was that he said to make you feel this way.
It's hard, but it can be done. =D
BELIEVE ME, people really like others who are convivial, and nice. Try to talk to friends more, hang out with them, and act like you want to, even if it seems embarassing =D
Maybe practice things in the mirror, or act REALLY outgoing with a friend.
With the annoying thing, your friends wouldn't hang out with you if you were annoying, and even if you were, which I doubt you are, they still accept you for who you are, unlike the mean person who said all those mean things!!
Good luck!!
|
|
what is wrist banging? (link)
|
'wrist banging', the term, is basically the literal meaning of what it's called. It is when someone bangs their wrists on an object, usually hard enough to cause bruising or cuts.
It is obviously a form of self injury, and can sometimes cut off blood flow, and since the veins on your wrists are very imporant, this could cause serious damage .
If you know anyone doing, this, make sure you give them a serious talk.
|
|
Alright i am a 15 year old girl. im pregnant. i have a great boyfriend. i dont get along with my dad or little brother. my mom and dad are getting a divorce. i choice to move with my mom. and my little brother choice to live with my dad. just recently i started cutting again. i no its not good and i talked to my boyfriend about it and ive been trying so hard to stop but there is so much drama. i just cry and i want to do it so bad. but i can i promised my boyfriend i wouldnt. my mom and i are moving out the end of the mnth. so i wont have to put up with my brother or my dad any more. but thats to long i cry everyday! and i want to cut everytime i cry or get angry. i need help!! and im crying out for help. i dont want to go talk to someone. i have a fear of talking to someone i dont know! so hopefully you guys can help me! (link)
|
Cutting dosen't help. It relives stress temporarly, but the stress just keeps coming back. I'm sure you know this, but really.. what happens one day if you go too far? What happens to the peole who care for and love you?
Sorry if that sounds a little harsh, but I really, desperatly want to help you in this situation. Just look forward to the fact that you wont need to deal with your brother//dad, adn if you ever do need them, theres always the chance to visit, and theres' the phone.
Crying's very natural, too. Don't worry about that. Cry as much as you need to, anything to prevent you from hurting yourself, and those around you in the process.
I've found many sites, but some of the best things I've learned to help people stop cutting are things that either distract, or simulate cutting.
If you ever feel the need, snap your wrist with a rubber band, draw on your wrist with marker where you would want to hurt yourself, or most of all, call your boyfriend, he sounds reallly helpful.
Try to do this for your baby,too.
Please, write me if you need ANYTHING at all..xo_graziano_ox@hotmail.com
Really, I'm not saying that out of kindness or anything, I want to see this resolved, and you and your baby healthy and happy.
|
|
I get jelous way easily. I'm always jelous of my friends if I'm not hangin out with them or if I'm not being invited to hang out with them. I go into the slight depression stage and get all moody when I'm jelous. I HATE THIS. How can I become more uhh .. not jelous ? (link)
|
I know this feeling.
There's no stopping jealousy, it's always there deep down, since it's an emotion, but there are ways to prevent it.
Just make sure you don't push your friends away or try to make them jealous. It causes a whole chain of events, and sometimes ends up in the friends growing apart.
Make sure you're always there for your friends, and try to be as kind and fun to be around as possible.
The occasional hang out dosent' hurt too much either. =D
|
hey well im going through a very hard time right now... my dad has cancer and i have a feeling that my sister is going to move out... yea and well i cut myself kinda alot too.... but like i dont know what to do ... all my friends are worried about me(at leaset the 1s that know i do it) but like im split in half.... one siode is telling my im stupid for doing it and telling me never to do it again... and the other half is happy that i do it and it makes me wanna do it more..and i dont know what side to belive... none of my friends really understand what im going through and i scare myself when i do it...i just dont knwo what to do ... and going to a counsiler is out of the question because my family is almost broke from my dad and his cancer.. i just need some help and i really dont knwo what to do...
Thank you all so much in advance!! (link)
|
Cutting may seem like it helps, but it dosen't. REally, it hurts. Obviously you, but also all of those aound you who care about you so much. If not for yourself, do this for your dad and stop, because it's doing no good.
Also, there are free help lines, and therapists you can go to, so there's always someone.
I'm sorry about your dad, really. =[
Just, please, try to keep yourself happy for him, and make his time left the best possible. You wouldn't want him to have to worry, would you?
Write me if you need any tips on how to stop cutting. Good luck with everything going on!!
|
|