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Teenage Years : (
My friends dont know me anymore. I've changed so much and I don't know what to do. I'm always the "good girl" that would never do anything bad or wrong. I've been labeled that for the past 2 years and I hate it. Everyone know's me as the "always happy, preppy, good girl". But I'm not like that anymore. I love doing crazy things that are shocking. I want a tattoo and my belly button pierced. I want to drink & try new things (haha not drugs though!) I wanna have fun.
See this all started happening when I became close to this one girl. Her name is Erica. She is a senoir and i'm a freshmen. She's really cool and laid back. She's one of my best friends. We hang out all weekend and talk almost everyday on the week days. She is the complete opposite of me though. I'm way preppy and always smile and laugh. She's dresses down and doesn't care about what she looks like. I guess she's a good influence in some way, because she made me learn not to care so much about what other people think (but i still do!!).
My whole life I always knew I was being someone I wasn't. I wasn't this always happy good girl barbie that I was labeled and been labeled. Towards the end of last school year and this school year, I got more into the "f*ck life and have fun" attitude. I wanted to do pot and drink. I wanted to always do something that was crazy and unexpected of me. I fell in love with the old rock classics (60s-70s)and if people hear me listening to that music... they're like "eww chelsey.. you're becoming a druggy?!". (since when did the music you listen to label you as a druggy or non-user?).
But ANYWAY... I've finally opened my eyes and notcied that erica is a bad influence in my life. She's the one who introduced me to all of this. Smoking, drinking, pot, music, & my attitude. I don't know if this is who I've always been and it was just covered up with hollister clothes and california hair or what, but i'm so confused now. I don't know how to say this, but I like this new person way better then the old. I'm so much more opened and dareing (?).
Now the hard part is, my friends refuse to believe this. If I even curse, there like "OMG! chels you cutie, thats mega bad... when did you start using those words!?!!". AHHH im like stfu. And then I think to myself, what if they knew i wanted to drink or try pot... they would like sign me up for therapy. I don't know what to do?!?! I want people to realize that I've changed, and accept that fact that people change, and wanna do different things. Whats your adivce? What should I do about my life? I don't even know where to begin with all my feelings. Thank-you for answering HONESTLY... I really respect your opinion.
One more thing... I kinda started seeing this kid this year and me and him really hit it off. He's mr. popular and stuff so when he first started talking to me I was soo excited! But now that were haning out more often we almost created like a relationship. A couple nights ago, I found out that he drinks and gets high often. When me and him went over to our one friends house (they were having a party). He took me back in their yard to the bon-fire. A couple of my best friends were down there so I started talking to them, but then they went up and i followed them half way and then went back to the bon-fire. When I came down they were smoking and getting high. Now it just wasn't the kid i liked... it was some of my other guy friends too. They offered it to me.. and I reacted quickly by taking the blunt and throwing it in the fire. (hahaha i know right). So now is it that my friends can smoke but i cant? and i get yelled at if i even curse? WTF?!
Please, I need advice soo badly! : ( Thank-you
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People change. It's something everyone, including your friends are going to have to accept. You'll meet new people and find new interests. It's all a part of growing up and accepting life. I know what it's like to be labeled as the good girl. Because that's what i've always been labeled. I never get in trouble, i'm always happy and preppy and I never stop smiling. That's what people have come to expect from me over the years, and it gets old after a while. I have my belly button pierced. I didn't do it to be shocking or daring. Far from it actually. I did because it was a fashion statement. I thought it suited my style, not my personality. Please don't think that changing yourself on the outside is going to change who you are on the inside. It doesn't work that way. I noticed you said you want to drink and try new things. That's all fine and good, except you also said you didn't want to try drugs. But as I was reading the question, I noticed you said you DID want to try pot. Clarification would be well appreciated. Marijuana is not fun. Neither is drinking. If you want help, you have to first help yourself. I want you to do me a favor. There are 2 books that I feel would do you a world of good to read. Smashed [story of a drunken girlhood] by Koren Zailckas and Go Ask Alice. These are both wonderful books I feel you will enjoy reading and I think it will make you rethink wanting to drink and do drugs.
As for this Erica girl, I know completely where you are coming from. My problems all started when I met a particular girl. She turned my world upside down and I swear that girl made me do things I wouldn't dare do in a million years. I did bad things I don't feel like getting into. I thought these things defined me and made me cool. I was wrong, doing these things only made things worse in the end. The best advice I can give you is not to hang out with her. So many people warned me about her, but I didn't listen. She's such a sweet girl, and even though I will always love her, I should have stayed away from those things.
You are right about one thing. The music you listen to in NO WAY should influence whether you do drugs or not. That's just something that media has brainwashed us into thinking. Make sure you tell your friends that. It's ok to be open and daring, just don't take it to far. You can be spontaneous and still know how far is too far. Just always keep that in mind.
And if these so called friends are really your friends, they wouldn't be so hypocritical. But that's an entirely different topic. I'm sure you can work this one out on your own. If you need any further assistance or advice, feel free to contact me however you wish.
If you don't take any of my advice, take this:
All teenagers go through a rebellious stage, i've already went through mine and still from time to time I want to get out there, and do bad things. But I stay level-headed. You are a teenager and you are going to experiment with sex, drugs, drinking, and anything else you can think of that parents pass off as life stages. Just keep it under control.
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By best advice is just to be yourself. If you want to be a certain way, then just do it. If your friends don't support it, then they aren't really your friends. You should find a group of people that like you for who you are. Also, just on my part, I think drugs are the stupidest things ever, they are too expensive and serve no cause, so please (I couldn't tell whether or not you used them) be smart and don't use them. It'll ruin your life.
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You choose what person you want to be. There are ways of showing people your a good girl but willing to have fun to. You should know that doing drugs and stuff isn't the answer. Maybe just become more open have a good time while out. Don't lower yourself just so you can fit in. Why not get your belly button pierced, it isn't really bad but it will show them in a healthy way that your not the same person. People do change but you should be the person that makes you feel comfortable. You could have easily smoked and got high but you chose not to. Its not that you can't its just you chose not to. Think about what you really want and decide on that. Maybe change your wardrobe a little or maybe even get your nose pierced or belly button or something. You should know that tattoos hurt really bad. lol. Belly buttons and tongue rings hurt to but nose rings don't hurt at all.
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hey i think i can really help you out with this... leave your sn as a question in my inbox & i'll im you. <3
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Honey, so many teenagers go through this. I used to be good, and my first time even getting high was 3 weeks ago. But I love it.
Anyways, I used to be the good girl too. I was doing right things, helping people out [not that I still don't. I help people out from time to time], and my grades were high as hell. But I got sick of being good, and being called names. So I changed.
I stopped hanging out with the kids who cared about everything. I found people who were careless, they had more fun. I live my life day by day. My motto: Whatever happens, happens.
Don't worry so much about what your friends think. Drinking, smoking & doing drugs are your decisions. Not their's. They might not accept it, or like it, but that's life. You're always gonna do something that someone doesn't like it. And that's their problem, not your's. Every teenager has a time when they try new things.
Just tell them that if they don't like it, then they can just go to hell.
♥TiNA
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Aww, I'm sorry for breaking this to you, but so many teenagers have this problem. Image, according to others usually is something huge, but that shouldn't stop you from dressing how you want to dress along with acting how you want to act. I'm definately not reccomending drinking or anything, but you dont need to have your friends approval to be you. Just remember that. Just remember that it only matters what YOU think about yourself, and it wouldn't matter if you dressed completly goth and were the most innocent little kid in the world, people are still going to see you as how you dress, but really only you and the ones you are really close to will see the real person you are.
If your other friends don't realize who you are now, though, maybe try dressing down? ONly if you want to, though.
Also, just remember how horrible smoking is. I dont know if you'd want to do it for the new image or to be daring or anything, but in my opinion it's just dumb. lol. But I guess the sad thing is that your friends still probably see you as the innocent kid. They're just going to probably get used to it eventually.
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