A quick note: If I answered a question and you have further questions for me, please include a URL link to your original question(s) so that I can be sure of what we're talking about. Questions that reference something we talked about a week ago that I can't quite remember are kinda hard to answer.
Welcome to my column.
I don't apologize for my answers. I speak to the audience, and in doing so I sometimes tell the audience things they don't want to hear or cant handle.
I believe in stands on principle. I believe that doing right for the sake of doing right is a good way to live. I believe in self awareness and encourage it in others. I offer the most unbiased viewpoint I have. And yes, I am only human.
Im going to tell you what I think you need to hear. You are not supposed to take what I say and follow it. You are supposed to take what I say and _think_about_it_
Oh, and feel free to ask me questions, but netspeak, ebonics, terrible grammar, and your teen angst about a crush will be ignored.
Location: No where you've heard of.
Member Since: July 16, 2007
Answers: 2588
Last Update: April 13, 2014
Visitors: 96901
Main Categories:
Love Life
Random Weirdos
Mental health
View All
|
| |
I am 14 a year ago I flahsed my body on omegle to heaps of guys (very stupid I know) . To be honest I'm not afraid of it being leaked online cause I can tell people it wasn't be it wasn't me but I am worried on the men I flahsed to may be stalking me or trying to find me am I being paranoid ? (link)
|
Yes, all of these things are possible. Leaked online is highly likely.
Get off of Omegle.
|
|
i am so ashamed but where do i start basically im 19 i already have a one year old not with the father because i choose horrible men and he didnt want me anymore just the baby, ive had sex with about 13 people since i was 16 and ive cheated before i feel so ashamed of how my life has become and am looking for some reason to change but i cant find it please would you be able to help me? (link)
|
The simplest answer is that you feel like a slut because your parents failed you. While you bear responsibility for your own choices, I still look at 20 year olds like they're children and you are definitely not an adult yet.
They should have taught you self worth, so you didn't seek validation through sex. They should have raised you with a healthy exposure to sex education so you didn't end up pregnant at 18. They should have taught you that sex is not something to be ashamed of.
You need to speak to a therapist. At your age with a one year old you are not equipped to find your way out of what you are dealing with alone. No one is.
There are no simple words that will turn this around. It is a process. It takes work. Recovery always takes work.
But with time, and effort, you can find yourself again.
If you need a reason, look at your kid. Someday, that child will need you to teach him or her about how to be safe, take care of themselves, and be responsible. How to respect themselves. You need to learn these lessons yourself before you can teach them to others.
|
|
I am 13, female. Lately, my mom has started to think any disorder that even slightly matches my perssonality is something I have. Last week, it was Asperger's Syndrome, and now she thinks I am a sociopth. I am callous, unfeeling, bookish, a nerd, and socially awkward. I like routine. I have odd beliefs, such as everyone being insane. I tell my parents very little without being provoked. I don't understand normal people, or why anyone would want to be normal. I have few friends and avoid social situations. I overthink things, mainly because I never stop thinking, except while sleeping. I enjoy the comfort of routine and the logic of science, and daedal, descriptive use of words. I obsess over a concept for a month at most, and, extinguishing my resources move on. Conversatin, with me, is often one-sided or nonexistant. I often spout random facts, mistaking what I am nterested in as normal behavior and conversation. I am an atheist, but I often ask myself how the universe was created and what created the source of creation. You can point out my mistakes, what I did wrong, but I am never wrong. Learning is fun for me, but joy, sadness, fear, embarassment are all lost to me, both in understanding and possession. What I ask is, what do you believe is wrong with me? (link)
|
I like this question.
Bottom line, you're more intelligent than a significant percentage of the people around you (possibly including your parents) but you're 13 and thus don't have the experience or knowledge to really do a whole lot with it yet.
The "everyone is insane" belief will probably change. People move according to their motivations, and while many of those motivations are objectively idiotic, at their heart they are usually emotional drives which you can identify with yourself at some point.
Callous and unfeeling are very likely a direct result of social awkwardness. The thing about being smarter than other people is that even if the things they do make sense to you the things you do might well not make sense to them. Without understanding to some degree on both sides, it's hard to have a social life and have fun together.
You mistake things because you haven't found a reason to pay attention. I used to be alot like you, but I always paid attention. I had a reason, people interested me. Got me into psychology as I got older, I enjoy figuring out what makes people tick. Paying attention eventually paid off. I started figuring out what other people thought was normal, meshed it in with what I thought was normal, tried to compromise a little bit and I guess you could say I lived half in their world and half in mine.
I will give you a fair warning. Watch out for arrogance. I caught a fairly strong blast of it with "but I am never wrong."
You will be right alot. Being intelligent makes that happen. But the corresponding downside is that when you are wrong, you're going to be _really_ wrong. That puts the responsibility on you to make sure you're right. It also puts you in a tricky position because in order to be right as much as possible you are going to have to admit that your perspective is limited.
Some people can't. I'm 28 and in the middle of a divorce because my ex wife refused to admit that she was ever wrong, because she couldn't accept that people as smart as her who saw different things in the world than her could be right and she could be wrong. She couldn't accept that even people without her intellect could be right and she could be wrong.
Value experience. Experience is data. Every single person in the world has their own personal experience. That's not alot of data. The most worldly person in the world won't see it all in their lifetime, experience every role in society it's possible for a person to play.
It takes other people's experience as well as your own to find objective truths.
You said everyone sees things differently. That's true. Two people can see the same thing and see different things. Sometimes, only one is right. Sometimes both are right or both are wrong.
If you want to be right, you should seek other's perspectives because sometimes you'll be wrong, sometimes they will, and sometimes no one is. But if all you have is your own way of seeing things, you'll never understand those times when other people are right, whether you are or not. Even when you're right you won't see the whole truth alone.
You can be the most brilliant person in the world but analysis of the wrong data will end up with a result that is wrong every time.
Anyway, enough with the lectures. You're 13, you've got alot to figure out about the world.
My advice to you is don't throw people away. I'm sure you have a hard time finding people to relate to, I'm sure you have a hard time believing that others can add to your life in ways that you could and would grow to need.
The investment is worth it. Took me years to find my friends. A core group of people I could love like brothers and sisters. They've made all the difference.
I've lived twice the life you have and then a little bit. Take it from me, intellect can be a gift, or a curse. And if you let it, like many things in life, being one doesn't preclude it from being the other at the same time.
|
|
I'm 13, female. I feel nothing. For about a year, I haven't been happy, sad, embarrassed, or anything. I know why. Long story short, my dad sucks, and I hate him. Other than anger and frustration, I'm empty inside. Accordinng to my research online, it's probably some sort of defense mechanism. I don't take antidepressants anymore. No one believes me. I go to a therapist, and she thinks I'm ignoring it, supressing it. I'm not, I'm not. I don't even want to tell my parents. They'll say the same thing. Question is, what's wrong with me? (link)
|
Take with a grain of salt, I am not a trained professional, but you're showing pretty standard signs of depression. It's pretty common to withdraw emotionally from the world when things hurt and to have the only things that really move you be anger related.
Keep seeing your therapist. Suppressing is exactly what you are doing. It doesn't have to be a conscious decision, a defense mechanism is usually subconscious or unconscious, behaviors that come into play without you having to think about them because once it hits your conscious mind it hurts.
In simplest terms what's wrong with you is that you've both had too much negative in your life recently and you've focused too much on the negative. Bad things make you feel bad and eventually you get sick of feeling bad and end up feeling nothing at all.
How do you fix it? Inject some fun into your life somehow. Start out alone maybe, where you don't feel the pressure to put on a facade for others or fake anything. Do something that should be fun and try to enjoy it. If it doesn't work, do something else. Reading, video games, bike riding, a sport, a craft, it doesn't really matter what so long as it occupies you enough that you don't have a ton of time to think.
Pick something. If it doesn't work, pick something else. The first step to feeling happy again is going out and doing something that should make you happy.
|
|
17)F. i lost my virginity to a guy id known a couple weeks when i was 14, he was 19. we had sex just that once. i had a relationship with an 18yr old when i was 15 sex was a big part in the relationship. also 15, i got intimate with a 30yr old married guy with kids :( we did not have sex. }6yrs old 20yr old bf, sex almost 3+ times a day, we lived together. i went clubbing at 16 and went home with a guy i met. found out after sex he was 30 TT'. i had a 17yr old bf this year, we had sex once. and now i have (link)
|
First off, don't use the word slut anymore. It's a sexist label meant to shame women for their natural sexual desires.
Craving sex is normal, especially for teenagers. Puberty is a difficult time for most people, their urges sometimes exceed their capacity for adult self control.
As to the rest, honestly your question is just a list of experiences with no emotional or mental context. If you'd like to talk in more detail drop me a question and answer a few questions in the process.
- Describe the relationships with boyfriends, how you interacted with each other and what a day with the two of you was usually like
- Describe the night you went home with the married guy. How did that happen? What was the interaction like
- Describe the process that leads you to decide to have sex with someone. Do you think about it alot? Do you just go with your desires and not think at all?
- Explain why you think guys just want to sleep with you. What about their actions makes you think that? How do guys behave around you? How do they treat you?
- Tell me what you want, what you think you'd like to have so far as relationships or sex go. What is your ideal situation? Why is it ideal?
If you don't want to answer all that, you don't have to, but as it stands your question doesn't have nearly enough information for me to feel like I could offer advice of any kind, I don't know a thing about what's going on in your head. If you do send me a question, give me all the detail you can, the more I know the better my answer.
|
20/f
Okay so I have a boyfriend, we've been together for a while and I love him very deeply. We plan on getting married once I'm finished with college. My problem is, I think I may be addicted to porn. I am so horny every day, and feel the urge to masturbate. This has been going on since I was 13. I go through phases where I won't look at it for months, but ever since this past September, I look at it almost every day. My boyfriend and I have an amazing sex life, and have sex often. But I STILL feel the constant urge to watch porn. I know it can't physically harm me, but is this healthy? Or normal? (link)
|
Yeah, it's pretty normal. Consensus among mature and secure relationships is that if it doesn't affect the sex life, have at it. Sometimes you have a fantasy your significant other isn't into, sometimes your sex drive outstrips them by a wide margin, sometimes you just like porn and masturbation. If your boyfriend doesn't have a problem with it you shouldn't either. And if he does it should be because you prefer porn to him. When it's just an addition to a healthy sex life no one should care.
In this case no one means you.
|
|
So, I dated this guy for a few months but I've known him basically all my life. To put it simply, he's a horrible person. He loves to fight- I mean LOVES it. We didn't live in the same town so when he would go to parties on weekends without me (I had to work), he or his friends would call me saying I need to calm him down because he got into a fight literally EVERY WEEKEND. He would always instigate it, and he'd always win. He also was easily angered by me, and would call me a slut or accuse me of things I didn't do. So here's my problem: Although I broke up with him several months ago, I've noticed I have a horrible temper now. I think because I was always having to defend myself, or pretend I didn't care, or act like I was strong when I wasn't.. now I don't let anybody in. I don't know how to start caring more about the people around me. I used to think it was a good thing that I didn't take crap from people anymore, but now I'm starting to realize I've become cold and when somebody does something I don't like, I tell them. And when little things happen, I get way more heated than I should. How do I learn to calm down? And how do I learn to have better relationships with people? (link)
|
See a therapist.
The mind does funny things. In your case, it developed practically an entirely separate you to deal with the shit your ex could throw your way. New coping mechanisms and reactions to things that probably wouldn't have set you off before, new approaches to confrontation you don't like (defensiveness, anger, etc).
Working that out is a long process. I'd say a professional would be far more able to help with that than anyone here. In the meantime, work on that self awareness so you can catch yourself. And apologize when you fuck up or get heated, admitting you're out of line to yourself and others gives you some incentive for greater control.
|
|
my daughter is 10 and she wants to work at mackedonals so i was just asking plz she rilly wants to earn money to get her blackberry plz can she work there xx (link)
|
No, you cannot work at McDonalds. There are laws against it. And your mother would not have posted a question that says "Plz can she work there?xx" like she's a 10 year old asking for permission.
You can live life without a blackberry. A 10 year old has no real use for one, you don't have a life you need to organize and be in touch with.
|
I’m writing to you out of desperation after months in a sad, cloudy haze. I’m a 29-year-old woman who has struggled with depression since childhood, but my condition has seriously declined since a series of troubling events. I have lost interest in my friends, my old interests
and even in planning for my future. I know the signs of depression, but this feels different, somehow. My sadness is like a physical veil
that hangs over me. It makes me feel ugly and shrouded and hidden. I haven’t smiled in ages, and I think people are starting to like me less for it. Please help!
Last summer, I brought up marriage and kids with a man that I loved dearly and shared an apartment with. He did not react well, and I was forced to break off our wonderful relationship. I was devastated that he did not protest the breakup, and still has not changed his mind. In one horrible weekend, I threw away most of my belongings and packed up the rest and moved into a sad, lonely studio apartment.
A few weeks later, a long-time friend decided that he no longer wanted me in his life, since his new girlfriend preferred it that way. I
started to take anti-anxiety pills regularly throughout the day and drink heavily at night. Then, the final straw: I received a long-awaited promotion – one that had been meant to secure my future with a husband and kids – and was forced to part with lots of close co-workers. (I couldn't turn down this new job without jeopardizing my entire career.) I now work long hours in a stressful, high-profile job, and then go home to a dark and lonely apartment. I don’t have time to date or see old friends. The winter has made things worse, and I feel heavier and more isolated and more exhausted by the day.
I am now approaching 30, and I feel robbed of what should have been the best years of my life. I worked so hard throughout my 20s – both
professionally and socially – to overcome my depression, to land this difficult career, and to build a good life for myself. Now I feel like
it has been for nothing, and all because these people that I trusted decided to pull the rug out from under me. I am lonely, but dread dating in my 30s. I work all the time – and for what, if not kids and a happy family? I think obsessively that this was not how things were supposed to end up, and I just can’t seem to get over it.
Please help me. This blanket of depression is so severe that it scares me. I think more and more that it’s not worth living if I can’t find some shred of happiness. Talk therapy has just upset me and I end up “breaking up” with each therapist I see after only a few sessions. What are my other options? (link)
|
Keep trying to find a therapist you can connect with. You can't let yourself run away because something upsets you. You set up a pattern of running away, of avoiding, eventually your life is made up of nothing but things you avoid, you can find enough of them in this world to fill your entire life with time spent in pursuit of this one goal.
I don't know what to say about the career. Spend some time thinking about what you want to happen over the course of the rest of your life. Think about what you want, think about things you think you're supposed to want, think about things you need.
I think the response "If I got where I wanted to go and found out it wasn't where I wanted to be, I'd just keep walking" probably sounds glib, I can't say I have anything like your life accomplishments under me that I've ever had to balance in the choice to walk away from a situation I realize I can't stand.
What does your career mean to you? What does being a mother and having a family? Can they coexist, or not? Can you and this career coexist, or not?
You need to find your own answers. The best advice I've got in that regard is that a therapist can be very helpful in figuring out how to ask yourself the right questions.
|
Preface: My Boyfriend does not murder people, nor has he ever harmed myself or anyone else. Nor does he hurt animals.
I'm dating a guy who has quite freely told me he doesn't "feel emotions". He's even joked that the only emotions he does feel are anger, annoyance and contentedness.
It's one of his quirks, and I don't mind overly.
But it makes it very difficult to move forward with a relationship when your boyfriend responds to "I love you" with "Uh huh. I don't believe in love".
I've noticed there are other people on this site who have asked about being like that...
I want to know, is it possible to have a relationship? Would you, if you feel no emotion be able to maintain a relationship?
How do I support him as he is but also get what I need from our relationship? (link)
|
Zane is incorrect. There are people who feel no emotions. In clinical terms they are called sociopaths, and your boyfriend is not one. A sociopath would never actually admit he has no emotions, more than likely your boyfriend has some degree of extreme emotional repression.
If you want to help him, consider talking to him about therapy. He probably won't listen, you don't sound young enough to be dealing with an adult with a modicum of self awareness. But if he's really the way he tells you he is there's likely something messed up in his head that's causing him to shut down emotionally.
Either that, or he's putting you on and you just aren't ever going to get anything you need from him. Either way, you probably won't. He's either a stupid kid who's just found a way to seem aloof and mysterious or he's suffered a significant trauma which has fucked him up royally. Either way you'll probably never find out for yourself, I don't recommend pinning your hopes on him being able to be what you want or need.
|
|
For decades Doctors and professional Psychological Analysts have been trying to solve the puzzle of this mysterious yet destructive dilemma. It has not been determined if it is a disease which is affecting the human Brain's ability to properly analyze facts and truths presented to them which they find mentally impossible to properly analyze to help them come to a logical solution to the problem trying to be solved. Dr. Shawn Czerwinski is a Political Psychologists at one of the finest universities in Philadelphia. He believes it is due to Genetic Deficiencies Syndrome otherwise known as "GDS" which ultimately affects the ability of the human Brain to function properly. This disease or impairment is due to poor genetics in the political family tree of the persons affected. Dr. Czerwinski and other colleagues have agreed that one of the best remedies for this mental problem of not being able to properly analyze proven facts and statistics to reach a logical conclusion is quite simple. Those with the extreme liberal minded deficiencies should either study more, communicate more with smart and intelligent people, stay away from their extreme liberal minded friends who may carry this uncurable disease or just simply start believing that it's very possible, if not probable, that you're wrong and if you can't properly analyze something that concerns your family, neighbors, friends, community school system, County programs then just shut up and sit down and let more intelligent people be in charge of analyzing and solving our problems in society and elsewhere. So, what other cures or remedies are there to help the mentally impaired over-Liberal minded persons in our society? (link)
| |
Aha. Owned.
|
|
Ok i was thinking and i took my one knife and took it into the bathroom and i tryed as hard as i could to get close to bleeding i knew i wasnt and now my hand feels like its on fire and one mark is still there what schould i do????? (link)
|
First, I agree with every word of Peeps post.
Second, I'm not a doctor and so all I can tell you is go to your parents. If you have to lie and say it was an accident and you were making food or something, do so for now to just make sure you're OK. You NEED to talk to someone adult about it who can get you medical care if you need it.
Third. Cutting is an activity designed to take your mind off your issues by introducing other issues. It's whats called a negative outlet. Think about what might be a positive outlet.
I'm a gamer and a reader. Always have been, always will be. Gaming lets me relax, and focus for a period of time on something that makes me happy. Reading is the same, I can sink into a world not mine and pretend my issues don't exist for a few hours until I'm calm and stable enough to deal with them. Everyone has coping mechanisms. Cutting is a very bad one, but there are plenty out there. You just need something that'll take your mind off what's going on enough to let it drop for a little while.
Find something that introduces more happy into your life instead of replacing sad with different sad.
|
Every single thing for ADD symtpoms is true for me. Im very smart but its just so hard to concentrate and due to my extreme procrastination I am very behind on all of my homework. When I try and tell my parents I think I have ADD they don't really take it seriously or they ask if I'd want to be put on pills but I really dont want to because of the crazy side effects. Also they don't know of my extreme procrastination.. I've had this problem for years but now Im 16 and its even worse cause I get harder and more time consuming work every year.. I cant finish work in "all nighters" anymore. I have so much potential and I dont know why I keep doing this. Im very afraid to tell my parents cause they think Im doing fine but they really dont know that everything is horrible.. Im failing 6 out of 8 classes cause of it, I've stayed home from school 2 times to do work (I still end up procrastinating when I do that), and on Friday I was kicked off the volleyball team for 3 weeks since Im failing. I havent told my parents.. they are going to kill me if I do.. I have to finish my work in a week. I have big dreams but this damn lack of concentration is getting in the way of everything I want to do. I just get a high from doing things online.. even if Im not online I still find ways to procrastinate. Yes its being lazy but its not an occasional thing.. its an everyday thing. I guess it started from grade school when I spent longer than most kids to finish work. It doesnt help that I am also a perfectionist. What can I do to fix everything? I HATE doing this to myself and I have so much potential.. Im smart and can handle the honors and college classes im in but Im just doing stupid things, digging myself in a hole of work that seems impossible to get out of. i still have work from the beginning of the marking period, nearly 7 weeks ago
(link)
|
As a sufferer myself, sounds about right. Feeling like focusing requires herculean efforts to do things your classmates just do by habit, procrastination, last minute cram sessions or doing everything all at once. I used to do homework the class period before it was due on the day it was due.
Not all the drugs have the same side effects. And side effects vary with personal biochemistry. As someone who needs to get back on Adderol (no health insurance at the moment) I will say the difference between medicated and unmediated is night and day.
I want to go to med school. Straight up, I'll never do it without the drugs. I get in my own way too much. It sucks, but that's the way it is.
|
i wnt to stop cutting myself but i dont know how i really need advice any reccomended support groups i dont care what it is as long as it helps me stop cause i dont want to hurt myself anymore
15f (link)
|
I absolutely encourage you to call the hotline posted below at any point in the future when you feel like hurting yourself.
In the mean time, some frames of reference to intellectualize this for you.
Teenage-hood is a time of high emotion and complex stressful situations. You should know, that the high's won't be as high and the lows won't be as low later in life as you develop an adult frame of reference, experience, and are no longer generating hormones at puberty levels. It won't always be as intense as it is now.
Cutting is an action taken to help you cope. Emotions and stress can build you up to a point where you act more by reflex and need than want or thought.
Something that might help is finding a positive or neutral channel. Something that you can actively do to replace cutting which lets you blow off steam and causes no harm.
Video games, losing yourself in a book, bike rides, a brisk jog in the evening (family dogs are great listeners), any of a hundred other things that wouldn't occur to me but would be appealing to you.
I discovered a particular appreciation for music and hot showers (often in conjunction) and when my parents were away I blasted my dad's 2400 watt stereo and steamed up the house.
|
So I was going to finally get help on my depression. I was looking up my doctor's phone number online when a familiar site showed up again. Each doctor has their own page and people post comments and rate their doctor on various things.
There's only one good comment of course and 6 bad ones about him and look at the most recent one:
I found the man arrogant, opinionated and judgmental. I went to him for help with depression over a 2 year period and felt worse about myself than I ever did. It turns out he misdiagnosed me and had me on medication that I was barely able to get through each day. When I said anything he didn't like to hear he had temper tantrums that scared the hell out of me. Calls himself a Christian ... churches are full of people like him .... denial isn't just a river in Egypt!
And I know that I shouldn’t make judgments based on comment on the internet because angry people probably go on searching for places to type these things and the happy people maybe are outside doing other things, but still!
And this comment was posted one month ago in July! And it's true, he does have a temper! I'm not going anywhere near the church stuff because that's a crazy subject to discuss and has nothing to do with medical care as of now. But I always get advice that if my doctor isn't good and isn't helping you, go to another one. Well, I'm not allowed. That’s the first thing he yelled at us for when we went to the walk-in-clinic while he was on vacation and couldn’t wait for him to come back! What do I do? And should I even call him now? (link)
|
Find a new doctor, then go speak to a lawyer.
Misdiagnosis and the treatment you've received break the Hippocratic Oath to Do No Harm. As in every profession there are good and bad doctors. Find a new doctor, and speak to a lawyer about a malpractice suit. You very well could have a case, and if you do you should pursue it.
Your doctor has no control over who you see. Your insurance company does, so you should speak to them about changing physicians. Do this _after_ you speak to an attorney if you choose to do so.
Ninjaneer is correct in that a family doctor has no business diagnosing depression and medicating you for it, he should have referred you to a specialist (like a counselor or psychiatrist) instead of attempting to keep the billing for himself.
I want you to add up in your head the money you've paid him to diagnose and treat this issue. I want you to think about what you've paid for medicine. These are damages. The emotional rigors of having depression and being given the wrong medication for a year are damages. In legal terms, this asshole deserves a lawsuit, because that's the only way you have to try to impact his ability to do something else.
Speak to a lawyer asap. I don't usually advocate stuff like this, but medical malpractice suits exist for a reason, and your situation is a perfect example of that reason.
|
So I've been feeling kind of down for about 4 years. Recently it has gotten worse...I just broke up with my boyfriend because I've been so stressed about everything. I snap at a lot of people it could be anyone...I have so much anger and I've been crying a lot. I've pushed away all my friends and have no determination or drive. I don't know what to possibly do.
Any advice? (link)
|
You're depressed. Possibly some other issue. The answer is therapy.
Fun topic. I know.
A big part of therapy is coping skills. Depression most commonly rises when coping skills do not match life stresses, and you begin to feel overwhelmed. A long enough time period, and you get alot of what you just described in brief.
Therapy is about someone who knows more than you talking to you and helping you shore up your coping, figure out how to handle and move past whatever issues are dragging you down.
Word of warning. Talk to more than one. Like doctors, there are good and bad therapists. Some will do nothing and take your money, some will listen, take an interest, and fix you. If your first session doesn't come with a ton of questions and them trying to get to know you, consider looking for a new therapist.
|
|
I am a victim of long term sexual abuse. I won't go into details but I experience flashbacks on a daily basis I need help. I have gone to women aide but it was not helpful. Does anyone know of a counselor in the Plymouth Mass area who can help me cope and stop the flashbacks? Thank you in advance. (link)
|
http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ppc/state/MA/Plymouth.html
There's 12 to get you started. Psychologytoday is a good general resource for you, but it lets you contact your potential therapist directly. You need a serious therapist, there are as in any line of work great and terrible therapists. If you get offered proscriptions and ignored, move on to someone else, try to find someone you can talk to who listens. If you are in college you can go to your campus student medical office and they might well have some help, if you're in high school consider a school counselor as a leg up to finding someone serious to talk to.
|
There's this certain advicenators columnist that I'm obsessed with. I constantly read pages and pages (and there's ALOT) of his answers and sometimes I'll even make up a question to ask him just so I can be the cause of his beautiful words of wisdom. So, getting to the question, how serious are you and your wife?
(link)
| |
I adore her, sorry. I do appreciate the compliment though.
|
i think im addicted to weed.
i always need it, crave it want it but yet its not an actual addictive drug....
i love smoking in the morning at like 6 am before school.
and smoking thorugh the day.
and before i go to sleep
i just really love it
the down part is i eat SO MUCHHHHHHH from it
and i waste so much money.
how do i quit? its so hard for me?
and is it such a bad habbit to have? (link)
|
Ok. First, ignore anything anyone said about the physically harmful aspects. Though I know it's not your question anyway, I hate misinformation.
There are ZERO proven links between Chronic Marijuana use and any permanent effects on the body. Mild to significant effects to short term memory while high and for a short (24-48 hour) period of affected mental state after is about the only effect proven other than getting high and various medicinal benefits.
That said. While weed is not chemically addictive, as a recreational substance it has the same potential for habitual addiction as any other activity from WoW to Skydiving. People have destroyed their lives with WoW, with Weed, even with work addiction. There are people who lose families because they are successful at something and get so addicted to succeeding that everything else goes by the wayside.
For a random example, go watch Iron Man. Tony Stark is detailed as a guy who will let everything else go while inventing. His character is addicted to the emotional boost that comes from pride in his own intellectual achievements, to a degree that is unhealthy.
Sadly, smoking weed won't invent a suit of flying armor or make you a millionaire, so it's a bit more required that you manage your particular habit.
The first step is self realization. You are not addicted to the weed, you are addicted to the role that weed fills in your life. Weed is NOT the only thing that could potentially fill this hole, and so without self awareness you could easily even quit weed only to be addicted to some other activity.
The second step is rules and self control. Setting your own boundaries for no other reason than controlling yourself is more important to you than having fun. Cut out some of your smoking time. I won't pretend you'll go cold turkey, but say you wake and bake and then do not smoke until you're at home and everything you need to do is done.
Do whatever you have to to achieve this. Put reminders and signs around your smoking stuff telling you to do your homework first. Get a day planner. Set alarms on your cell phone that you must wait for to smoke if you have to.
Provide yourself structure, and follow it.
As to munchies, there was another question above probably also posted by you that I answered about working on that.
Managing your habits is important. But so is self recognition. You've recognized a problem, so the next step is to exercise control over it, and if you have can't to extend your control over it.
You asked if it's a bad habit to have. Any habit which controls you instead of vice versa is a bad habit.
|
Lately my spiritual family and I have been rocked to the core do to betrayal, and seeing how the people who have betrayed us has been verbally hurting the ones I love and I snapped and I had hacked into their site to send everyone a message explaining what we had to say since they have given us no opportunities. I have been fighting with these traitors and at night some times i even find myself so upset that I am vomiting and having nosebleeds. I have been eating more than usual.
Now It is like I can only feel anger or disgust. Ive hidden this from the other social aspects of my life simply because I do not want people who have no knowledge of the basics of what i do, yet those who assume my religious practices are evil.
but it is getting so bad that It is like I had lost base and I have lost what i worked for the ability to forgive or to be calm. No one but my spiritual family knows of these events. I dont know if i would say I was traumatized or what...
I just get these real violent urges, as if I have not became spiritualy sound yet.
17/male (link)
|
You're 17. No offense, but you're not really old enough to completely control it yet. You'll mellow out between 20 and 25, everyone does a bit.
You're a high pressure system. You're trying to hold it in, what you need is a safe release. Get a punching bag, and take your frustrations out on something that can't hurt you and you can't hurt. You need to be able to release the pressure you're letting build up. Play a violent video game, beat up your pillow, get into paintballing, play sports. Etc etc.
|
|