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Okay so i really dont know what i am asking so i'll just lay it all out then you can respond.
This whole thing is about cutting. when i was younger like 14-16 i was addicted to it. I'm 18 now and in a completely different place in my life, however i've recently been getting the urge to do it again. i dont know why. i'm known as extremely happy and bubbly and am not depressed in the slightest. i have the average stresses as a senior who is trying to get into college but thats mainly it. but when i get urges and want to do it i hate myself for it, i feel crazy, stupid and disgusted with myself because thats not who i am and its weird to want to physically hurt myself and i dont feel like myself.i cant tell anyone because i'm too ashamed to speak about it, even to my best friend who knows first hand about it. after 2 years of not doing it, i dont know why its randomly coming back. So i guess i want to know how to deal with this.
thanks for the help!!
I'm in basically the same situation. The first time I self-harmed I was 12 and I got really addicted to it in high school. Now I'm 19 and haven't done it in...6 months? Something like that.
For me, the urges come and go, and it isn't necessarily connected to mood. It's like with any addiction. Even if you break out of the actual cutting, the urges will randomly come back no matter how long it's been since you last acted on your desires. They're probably imprinted into your brain somewhere. There is nothing you can do to make them go away completely.
But even though you can't get rid of the impulses, you can decide what to do with them. At this point, the urges are weak enough to resist. If you do start cutting again, you will almost certainly become addicted again. So the most important thing here is not to give in.
There are things you can do to make it easier to resist. Like a recovered alcoholic, you should avoid the source of your addiction whenever possible. Do not keep convenient items for cutting, like pocket knives or naked razor blades. Don't go looking for them, and get rid of them if you have them. Obviously you can't avoid all sharp objects, but by making it harder to get to them you will help yourself resist.
Also, distract yourself when you feel yourself wanting to cut. If you are sitting alone with your thoughts and no distractions, you're more likely to act on them. So go running, try reading a book, even color pages in a coloring book. You could even keep a box full of distractions handy for when you feel the urge. One thing I particularly like is painting on myself. I got some washable kid's tempura paint, and when I feel like cutting I paint words on my arms. It lets me express what I am thinking and feeling in a way that washes off when I'm done. If you decide to try this, I suggest you avoid red paint; I find red paint to be really triggering.
Also, if you think your friend will understand you should let him/her know that you are struggling. Your friend can help you, even if all they do is offer to hang out with you when you're afraid to be alone. There is no shame in asking for help.
If you want more information on self-injury and ways of coping with/resisting it, here are two good websites to visit:
http://www.recoveryourlife.com/
http://www.palace.net/llama/psych/injury.html
Good luck with this. It can be really, really hard to resist, and a lot of people don't understand how much of an addiction cutting really is. But we are all stronger than we give ourselves credit for. You can do this, I know you can. Sometimes you might slip, and that's ok; no one is perfect. But you have already gone two years without it, and that is something to be extremely proud of! I have never gone such a long time without cutting since I started. You are an amazing person, and you are much stronger than you realize. So keep moving forward. Keep resisting. And don't let yourself give up.
I'm 13 and I'm going through a really tough time right now. Sometimes i think about cutting myself, but every time i go to cut myself I get scared and stop. I will take a super sharp pencil and dig it into my wrist but the marks don't stay long enough to make me feel better, so my question is, what do I do to either get over my fear of cutting or get rid of the thought altogether?
You need to quit while you still have that fear, as soon as possible.
I used to cut. I had an on-and-off addiction for years and I'm sure it will come back in the future. I have permanent, ugly scars. I can no longer wear certain articles of clothing (like shorts) because then people will see the scarring, and when they see those scars they will judge me. The relief I got from cutting myself will never be worth it, and I wish I'd never started in the first place. But at this point, I've done it so often that it's usually not a choice anymore. You need to stop before you get there.
There are a few common methods that people use to stop. One is putting a rubber band on your wrist and snapping it until the urge to cut goes away. Another is to do something to distract yourself, like color in a picture, draw, or watch one of your favorite childhood movies. You can also go running; after a while you can get a runner's high much like the one you get through cutting, but you don't hurt your body so much. But be careful: you can run too much, just like you can eat too much or drink too much water.
You may not be able to get rid of the thoughts, but don't work to get rid of the fear. That fear is healthy. We're afraid to hurt ourselves because it discourages us from doing risky things, and getting rid of it literally damages your self-preservation instincts. Seriously, I can't stress enough: do not work to get rid of it.
If you want to read about people who are having the same problem or general advice on getting rid of the urges, here are two good websites:
http://www.palace.net/llama/psych/injury.html
http://www.recoveryourlife.com/
Good luck with this. The first time I cut I was 13. It wasn't bad at all, but it gradually got worse from there. I promise you, in the long run, self-harm is not worth it. And if distracting yourself and getting help through the Internet isn't enough, don't be afraid to talk to a therapist. Some of them don't know what they're doing, but a lot of them are lifesavers.
So, I used to be a rather social child, even with strangers (not safe, I know), but I had tons of friends and I was a bit of a wild child. For some reason, at the beginning of this year, I suddenly don't like people. I mean, I don't mind watching people, but it's being around them. Like, if I go to the mall, I get super nervous and I've almost hyperventilated once. My mom says I'm just being a dramatic teenager, but I don't think so. I just get afraid that people are watching me or that something bad is gonna happen and it twists up in my gut and everything. And I always go with my gut instincts because a couple years ago, I got a bad feeling in my stomach the day someone jumped me at school (for hanging out with someone else). Do I have a phobia of public places and people in general? I'm just curious, because I really don't mind being alone. In fact, my best days are when I'm completely alone in my room with the computer... I'm sure that's unhealthy, though.
From the info you gave, it seems like you could have social anxiety. When you are around a lot of people, do you feel like people are watching you and judging you? There are many symptoms of social anxiety, and it shows itself differently from person to person. For example, some people panic at the thought of making a phone call but don't mind grocery shopping, while others are the opposite. Anyway, if going to the mall affects you this strongly, you might want to talk to a therapist or psychiatrist. Both talk therapy and medicine have been shown to help.
Even if it only seems like a mild problem now, it could become more of a problem later. In high school, you can get your family to set up doctor's appointments or make phone calls to the school for you. But when you live on your own, suddenly you have to handle all of that (and more) on your own. If possible, you should start dealing with this now, when it mainly affects your ability to date/go to the mall/go to parties, rather than later when it could keep you from finding a job or going grocery shopping. If your mom isn't taking you seriously, try talking to your school counselor. He/she is probably your best bet for showing your mother that this is more than just teenage drama.
Also, be aware that all of us on Advicenators are just random people on the internet. I can't tell you for sure that you have social anxiety; only a doctor can tell you that. But I have social anxiety myself and your case seems similar. If you feel like this is interfering with your life, you should definitely talk to a doctor about it.
Here is a website with some general info on social anxiety: http://www.socialphobia.org/
There is information about what it feels like as well as statistics and info on treatment. I hope this helps. :)
I have just been feeling disconnected, alone, frustrated, and hopeless lately. I feel like I can not do anything right. I feel like no one cares about me. When I talk to my friends and they say that I am just being too emotional or too dramatic. I just feel that way and I feel like no one understands. I just want to disappear most days. I have also been thinking about cutting again. It just makes me feel less bad. I just do not know what to do. What should I do?
That sounds like depression to me, and dismissing it as being 'too emotional or too dramatic' is not right and not fair of your friends. Depression is a serious and very real illness, and the longer you leave it untreated, the worse it could get. Unfortunately, most people don't realize that, or don't believe it. But I've had depression on and off for at least six years now, and getting help was one of the smartest things I ever did.
One thing you can do is talk to your school counselor. School counselors aren't always mental health experts, but if you explain clearly how you are feeling, they should be able to help you. At the very least, they will be an ally within the school who can help you when things are getting to be too much. Your school counselor is also probably your easiest way to get your parents involved. (Note that school counselors are 'mandatory reporters' so if you tell them you have hurt yourself or plan to hurt yourself, they have to tell your parents. Self-harm isn't something you should struggle with alone, but if you aren't ready for them to know, don't tell your counselor yet.)
Yes, getting the parents involved is horribly awkward and it's probably the last thing you want to do. But, even if you feel like your parents wont understand, this is something you need to share with them. They need to know that you are depressed, at least. My parents didn't know until things got terribly serious, and waiting so long to get them involved only made a much bigger mess when they finally found out.
After you've talked to your school counselor and your parents, you need to make an appointment with a therapist. This is one big reason why your parents need to be involved. They should make the calls, drive you to the office, and pay the cost of the sessions. If you don't like your therapist, don't stay with them! Switch! So many people say they hate therapy and it's useless, but usually it's because the person they're seeing is an idiot. Find someone you feel comfortable with; don't just settle for someone that doesn't feel right. Things will go so much better for you once you are seeing a professional. They are trained to help and they will give you a safe place to unburden yourself when you feel like holding in your thoughts will make you explode. With most therapists, everything you talk about is confidential so long as it does not involve an immediate threat of you harming yourself or others. Not even your parents will know what you discuss, unless you want them to. And it depends on the therapist, but the ones I've seen did not share what I said about self-harm with my parents, so long as I didn't say something like, "I am going to cut myself tonight."
These steps are the ideal course of action for you. So long as all these adults are halfway intelligent and compassionate, you will get the help you need and things will go a lot better for you. I'm not going to lie; sometimes these people fail. (I know my parents sometimes got mad at me and upset me for stupid things, but they still did their best and supported me in so many ways.) Even if one person fails you, there are others who can still help. Don't let one bad egg spoil everything for you. Right now, you seem to be at a crucial point where things aren't unbearable yet, but they're getting worse. Depression can go away over time, but it's also very likely to stick around and make you suffer before it does. And studies have shown that the longer depression goes untreated, the more likely it is to come back.
If you get into therapy and still feel like you aren't getting better, you can try medication. It seems scary and you may be afraid you'll become dependent on them, but medicine isn't something to avoid when you need it. I've tried a lot of different medications, and although some have had some odd side effects, I found one that works for me and it has done miracles. Also, it wont turn you into a zombie or just make you happy all the time. Some people have those side effects with certain medications, but if that happens to you just try something else. I am not happy all the time and I am not a zombie. I feel normal, and it's pretty amazing.
If things ever feel overwhelming, you can always go to IMAlive.org. It's a free online crisis center where you can talk to a trained volunteer about suicidal thoughts, desire to self-harm, or any sort of crisis in your life. I've never used it myself, but the people running the site are compassionate and dedicated to what they do. They can help if you're not sure who to turn to.
As for your thoughts about cutting, try your best not to do it. Even if it seem like a small problem now, it can get out of control before you realize it. Once you get in the habit, it's hard to get out of it. And even if you break the habit, it can stick with you for the rest of your life, threatening to come back whenever you get stressed. But if you do give in and hurt yourself, it's not the end of the world. No one is perfect and quitting self-harm can be very difficult. Do your best, and don't be afraid to ask for help when the urge is strong. Also, this website hasn't been updated in a while, but it has some good basic information about self-harm if you want to know more about why people do it and how to quit:
http://www.palace.net/~llama/selfinjury/
Here is another website for getting help with self-harm:
http://www.recoveryourlife.com/
They have a support forum and some good tips on how to beat the urges.
Also, try making yourself a 'distraction box' for when you feel really upset or want to hurt yourself. Fill it with good things like a movie you like, or a book full of quotes and stickers, or a sketchbook and pencils. When you feel upset, pick a distraction and throw yourself into it. It doesn't always work, but it usually works pretty well.
I hope my advice is useful to you, and I wish you the best of luck! Just remember that even if things seem hopeless and it seems like nobody in the world cares, it's not true. Depression affects the way you think and it can hide the good things and magnify the bad. There's always someone out there who wants to help you, even if you haven't met them yet, and people care about you even if they don't show it all the time. You are important, you are loved, and you can rise above this. It will take some work and there may be times when you feel like you've hit rock bottom, but things will get better.
I really want to die please can you help me find a fast painless way to do so I have been thinking about this for 2months and I am very sure.
First off, I want to tell you that you are not alone in how you feel. A lot of people feel suicidal at some point. Some of them kill themselves, but the majority of them survive. I've been there, and I'm still alive: partly out of luck, but also because a few people showed me that I was important, even when I felt like I was a waste of air.
Even if you feel sure now, consider that you may not be seeing the whole picture. Depression, anger, stress, alcohol, self-hate: all of these things and more can twist your vision of reality. It may be impossible for you to think clearly and you might not even realize it. My vision of reality was twisted for years and it took other people to make me realize it. I thought I wanted to die, but my reasons were based on false information and mistaken beliefs.
Please, try talking to someone. You can talk to a trained counselor online here:
https://www.imalive.org/
You don't have to talk face-to-face or even pick up a phone. It's free and anonymous. You have nothing to lose.
Also, here is a book (available free online) that will help you make a more informed decision about ending your life: http://www.qprinstitute.com/Foreverweb.html
I've read it while suicidal, and it helped me. Hopefully it will help you, too.
No matter what is happening in your life, I guarantee you that there is still a reason to live, somewhere. There are people who care about you, even if you haven't met them yet. There are things you haven't done yet, even if right now, you feel like you wouldn't enjoy them. Things can change for the better, even if it seems impossible now. Nothing in anyone's life is permanent other than death.
Please think about this longer. This is the biggest decision any person can make and the worst place to make a mistake. I wouldn't get a tattoo without waiting a year to make sure I wanted the design. I wouldn't get married unless I had loved my boyfriend for at least two years. Suicide is a much bigger decision than body modification or marriage, so why would you take less time to choose?
Sometimes I don't know who I am anymore. For the most part ive become a really sophisticated, goody good with really STRONG morals. I always do homework and go to church. I never -- cheat, steal, drink, cuss, smoke, do drugs, ditch school, party, sneak out, have sex, listen to rap, etc. But sometimes i get sick of being like that. Sometimes i just want to bust out my old dirty, rap collection and live life a little. But then later the goody/serious side of me DESPISES rap because its so degrading and disgusting. The thing is.. it's not about rap music. (That was just an example of how im like two different people within hours or days.) I really dont think i have a split personality or anything to that extreme. I just dont know who I am anymore. One part of me wants to stay moral, and the other part of me wants to break free and live. How do I find out who i truely am when both of these WAY DIFFERENT personalities keep showing?
Not all rap is degrading, even though most mainstream stuff is. 'When I'm Gone' by Eminem is a really good example of a non-degrading rap song. Watch it on Youtube here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wYNFfgrXTI
It's about his daughter and how guilty he feels for not spending more time with her. It makes me cry.
My point is, you can have your cake and eat it too, if you look hard enough. Research rap music on the internet and find some that sounds good but also agrees with your conscience.
On a similar note, staying true to your morals and really "breaking free" and living don't have to be separate things. The things you listed make you feel alive because they're forbidden, so it gets your blood pumping to think about them. But there are other ways to get that rush, too! I feel alive when I sing out loud, explore places I haven't been before (I like to drive around until I find somewhere interesting), when I run...I could write a book on the things that make me feel alive. It's different from person to person, so start looking for those things that give you a rush and are acceptable (even encouraged) by society. I get a rush when I help someone (which is one reason why I give advice). Pretty much everyone agrees that helping others is a good thing. :) So go out and scream at the top of your lungs, do something nice for a stranger or a friend, dance to a song you love, start a garden, watch a beautiful sunrise, visit a national park...There are so many things in life to enjoy!
Those two "different personalities" aren't really different or separate at all: they're both you and there's nothing that says they have to oppose each other. Every person in the world feels like this at some point and it's totally natural. Find a way to unite those parts of yourself and I guarantee that you will be a much happier, well-rounded person. I think that you've gotten so caught up in being a good person that you've forgotten that there are ways to enjoy yourself without going against your moral code. Don't do things because they are the "right" thing to do; do it because it feels right to you! Obviously drinking, smoking, and things like this don't feel right to you. At the same time, I bet you've never thought of watching a sunrise as the right thing to do. But doesn't it feel natural and right to enjoy something like a sunrise?
Follow your heart and find those things that make you feel alive. A lot of teens look to drugs and alcohol for that, but they're missing so many amazing things right under their noses. Playing in the snow, stomping on fallen leaves in autumn, listening to an orchestra play a beautiful song... Look for these things and hold on to them when you find them. Once you do, I bet your feeling of being torn in two will vanish completely. I hope this helps you and I wish you good luck in your search to feel alive. :)
I know this sounds completely messed up, and might gross u out. but i need help. sometimes when im bored, ill just start scratching my head to the point where it bleeds and forms scabs (very little ones!) and now i cant help but pick at them and scratch them. theres no reason i do it, its just a realllllllly weird habit. i dont know whats wrong with me?! any tips on how i can make it stop?
I do that, too. :( It's a nasty habit that I wish I could get rid of...but it's more common than you think. A lot of people pick their scalp, the skin around their nails, scabs, or their lips. Usually it's a nervous thing like biting your nails.
I've found a good site with lots of information on skin picking (officially called dermatillomania. Find it at http://www.skinpick.com/dermatillomania-information
As for getting rid of the habit, try finding something else to do with your hands. Wear a rubber band on your arm and twist it around your fingers in weird shapes when you feel like scratching your scalp. Really concentrate on that and you'll forget about your need to scratch. Also, clip your nails as short as you can, if you haven't already.
I hope this helps you. :)
i'm 15 and i've struggled with bulimia for like 2 years. i was just wondering if people ever truely overcome them and don't do it anymore?
i mean i am not nearly as bad anymore because summer wasn't very stressful, i didn't over eat because i was at my friends house all summer so it was good. now i'm back home, back in school, and stress is back. family problems are also getting worse, so to deal i use bulimia. it may sound weird but it feels like a release. i don't want to let go of it.
also i just always have my mind set in it. like even if i'm not throwing up as much i still think about the calories, when someone says diet i think that means i shouldn't eat, and when i'm walking i think about the calories being burned. it always invites itself into my mind.
so do people ever really get over this? i have a feeling i will be this way the rest of my life.
That's a tough one. In the end I'd say it depends on the person.
My health teacher from last year had an eating disorder in high school where she became obsessed with exercise and eating healthy to the point where she was starving herself. She 'got over' starving herself and living unhealthily, but she's still really calorie and health conscious and she says she doesn't think she'll ever get over that.
So someday you might get over it completely, but it's more likely that you will always have a few of the feelings leftover. The feelings will just weak enough to resist. C:
There is something wrong with my mind. I'm positive that there is.
I'm 5'5 and about 165lbs. When I look in the mirror, I feel physically sick. I can't STAND looking at my body. I feel like a gross obese girl. I'm a dancer. My teacher is always telling me to suck it in, and I just can't anymore. I tried anorexia, but my parents force me to eat. I've tried bulemia, but I can't make myself throw up. I would love to get down to maybe 140lbs.
I feel the need to get very skinny very quickly. I've become ADDICTED to americas next top model. I just love looking at how skinny most of them are. I just want more than anything to be skinny. I will do whatever it takes.
I'm obsessed with nutrition. I count calories like it's my job. My passion is shopping. I just can't bear going into a fitting room and trying on size 12-14 jeans.
I'm very self aware. I realize that I have an unhealthy obsession, but there is truely nothing I can do about it.
Please, don't tell me to focus on a healthy diet an excersize. I'm SO sick and tired of carrots, salads, and tiny portions of meat. I try to excersize, but I never have any motivation.
What I'm looking for now is just some advice. If anyone feels that they can break through my unstable mindset with some personal stories or other bits of advice, please, I just need help.
Thank you for your time.
You definitely have some sort of eating disorder. The best thing I can tell you to do is talk to a school counselor (or a therapist) about how you feel. Your counselor or therapist can help you deal with your self-image issues and work with you so that you no longer feel such a strong desire to lose weight. If you have a friend that you know will support you and can be trusted, talk to her/him about this, too. Friends are around you more often than counselors, and we tend to listen to them more. A supportive friend could be a huge help to you.
This is quite common, especially among teens. I have a health teacher who struggled with the same kind of problem in high school. She was a cross-country runner and spent most of her spare time planning meals to be as calorie-free and healthy as possible. I have a friend who struggles with weight issues and sometimes experiments with starving herself no matter how much all her friends plead with her to stop. And I have seen three people around my school who are obviously suffering from an eating disorder.
I really encourage you to talk to your school counselor, maybe even your parents. You may not be able to do anything about your obsession, but other people can. Good luck with this.
I am extremely preppy. Like sweater vests, oxfords, Top-Siders, the whole nine yards. And not just clothes. The issue is, I get very upset when I see magazine articles where it says how preppy is a new trend everywhere, and has come back, etc. Preppy has never left. It has followed me around rural New England my entire life. It's not a trend. It's a lifestyle that's been around forever. I get extremely miffed, and just want to scream and stomp and rip up the article, but that would be unladylike, of course. How can I deal with this? I have tried counting to ten and things like such, but they do not help because I still know how wrong these articles are and that I can't do anything about it. It's more than just that, I get angry over a lot of things, and it just gets all held up, since it isn't entirely proper to throw a fit. What should I do? I have OCD and split personality, but I don't have ADD or bipolar, I mean I'm not a retard.
Don't let it get to you. Just tell yourself that it really doesn't matter. Clothing is not that important in real life; people are pretty much the same under all their clothes, whether they be preppy or whatever else. But if you really identify with the style then just remember that the writers don't know everything and are probably only writing what they want to be true.
I would try writing. You could go on a rant about how amazing the style is, or rant about what idiots those people are. Or tear up the magazines and burn them (but be careful burning around other flammable things...). It's not unladylike unless you do it where other people can see. It's good to get rid of your anger.
By the way, ADD and bipolar disorder have nothing to do with mental retardation. The four mental disorders that you mention don't affect intelligence any if they do at all, so I don't think anyone would mistake you for a retard unless they're an idiot.
I've been acting really weird lately. Like there's my boyfriend.. and we're going through a rough time... and like a keep freaking out when he tells me he's gonna call on the weekends and he ends up calling like and hour later... and then he'll tell me he's going out and I'll flip out... but like that just gets me going crazy and I totally freak out. But then I also get upset with other stuff too... like stuff that's happened to me is I cry all the time, for no reason what so ever... i feel like i don't belong here at all and like I feel like I don't want to live (sounds horrible I know)... I get angry really easily...I feel like I don't want to do anything anymore... I sleep really weird.. like I'll sleep and then wake up from a horrible dream or just keep waking up... or it takes me a really long time to go to sleep... and like sometimes when I fall asleep while waiting for my boyfriend to call I'll wake up and then just freak out and jump up and get my phone and start calling him a million times.. and i can't concentrate that well.. and like this is on a DAILY bases... I have no idea what's wrong with me.. but please give me some advice
You most likely have some sort of mental illness like depression. This could explain all your weird pains and feeling sick, as well as your mood. The best thing I can tell you to do is go to an adult that you trust or think you can trust and explain your problem. If your school has good counselors, try talking to them. If you don't know how much you can trust them, maybe test them with smaller problems before talking about cutting and taking pills. But this is really affecting you, so you need treatment as soon as possible. Therapy could help, and so could the right medication. And if nothing else, it will help to get these troubles off your chest by telling someone.
You also seem really dependent on your boyfriend. Is it like your life revolves around him and without him you would die, or be really really miserable? Calling him all the time, and staying up waiting for him to call... it's not healthy to rely on someone so much and this could also be hurting your emotions and self-esteem. I can't give you much advice on this because I have the same problem, but a counselor could definitely help you. Asking for help online is the first step, now you need to tell your problems to someone in real life that can directly help you.
I sincerely wish you luck in getting yourself out of this situation. Taking pills and cutting are not good ways to cope, and you could end up accidentally overdosing from taking Motrin. It's important that you get some help ASAP. If you do have depression and you don't treat it, it will only get worse. But with treatment, the worst that can happen is that nothing with improve. But if there is a good chance that it will solve everything, why not take the chance?
is it normal to feel depressed sometimes, without any reason...you just feel depressed, and sometimes, you cry but you don't know why, you just feel like crying sometimes, and you get very depressed...
It depends on how depressed you get and how often it happens. It's normal for people to get upset if something bad or stressful happens. However, if you are getting depressed for no reason at all, and this is happening often (as in once a week or more), you should talk to your doctor. Your doctor can help you decide what to do to make these moments stop coming as often.
Most of all, if you personally don't think anything is happening to you right now to make you feel this way, it's probably depression. At least talk to someone about it now, because it will just get worse with time.
i've been molested, as a child. it happened often and i've tried so hard to block it out but now i feel like it defines me. nobody knows, i can't say anything nobody will believe me. everybody will hate me. he ruined me. i picture how my life would be if it never happened, the way i am now is horrible. i make so many mistakes just trying to make myself feel better but nothing works. i dont know what to do, i cant talk to anybody. im 16, this happened the summer going into 5th grade then into the year.
nothing makes it go away i don't know what to do i want to die so badly.
First off, this is NOT YOUR FAULT and you should never even begin to think that. You did not choose this and if you could go back in time you would do anything to keep this from happening, so why should anyone blame you? Also, you are not alone. There and thousands, maybe millions of others just like you who suffer in silence because they are afraid to speak up. Speaking up is more than hard; it probably seems impossible! But you can do this. Stay strong and life will eventually get better for you.
The thing you need to do is talk to someone you trust. It may be a good friend, a parent, or even a teacher. It doesn't matter. Just tell them. If you talk about this, you wont have to feel the burden of keeping the secret alone any more. Also, talking to someone will be the first step in making this guy face what he's done. He has probably done this to others in the past, and he might still be hurting other people, and you could help stop him by bringing HIS little secret out into the open. If anyone is to blame, it is him.
People can be truly evil, disgusting creatures a lot of the time. It may be hard to imagine dealing with them for a lifetime, and it is definitely hard to live with something like this hanging over your head. But whenever you feel like death would be better, just think of all the things you would miss if you gave up. People are capable of horrible things, but we can do amazing things, too. You've seem the worst that humans can do, but if you keep fighting for your place in this world, you will get to see some of the best things that humans can do. If you give up, you may never know what you could have accomplished in life.
its almost impossible for me to be open, so its hard to post this. I have been suffering from depression and anxiety for about five years id say. i NEED help. i dont know what to say to my mom, who has blown me off in the past, about this. i have a sever anxiety disorder and need treatment. i dont know how to go about getting this.
17/f
please help. thanks
If you see a doctor for a physical checkup once yearly, you can talk to your doctor about it and he or she should help. Even though you don't like to open up to people, explain to your doctor how you have been feeling and maybe ask them to talk to your mom.
If you don't go to a doctor for checkups or you don't want to wait that long, talk to another adult or authority figure in your life that you trust not to blow you off. Maybe there is a teacher, another relative, an older sibling, or some other person. Explain your situation and get them to talk to your mom. She may listen to an adult when she would not listen to you.
You really need to get your mom to understand before you can get treatment. If you're 17, she's still paying the bills, so she needs to understand that treatment is necessary. Get her to understand that this is a real problem and not some teenage phase.