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Unstable Mindset
There is something wrong with my mind. I'm positive that there is.
I'm 5'5 and about 165lbs. When I look in the mirror, I feel physically sick. I can't STAND looking at my body. I feel like a gross obese girl. I'm a dancer. My teacher is always telling me to suck it in, and I just can't anymore. I tried anorexia, but my parents force me to eat. I've tried bulemia, but I can't make myself throw up. I would love to get down to maybe 140lbs.
I feel the need to get very skinny very quickly. I've become ADDICTED to americas next top model. I just love looking at how skinny most of them are. I just want more than anything to be skinny. I will do whatever it takes.
I'm obsessed with nutrition. I count calories like it's my job. My passion is shopping. I just can't bear going into a fitting room and trying on size 12-14 jeans.
I'm very self aware. I realize that I have an unhealthy obsession, but there is truely nothing I can do about it.
Please, don't tell me to focus on a healthy diet an excersize. I'm SO sick and tired of carrots, salads, and tiny portions of meat. I try to excersize, but I never have any motivation.
What I'm looking for now is just some advice. If anyone feels that they can break through my unstable mindset with some personal stories or other bits of advice, please, I just need help.
Thank you for your time.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
ask your mom to buy more heathy food. This is what i do, eat a low calorie breakfast-(cheerios or a fruit) lunch- meat, veggie, and whole wheat bread sandwich dinner 1 and 12 servings
SNACKS: FRUIT AND VEGGIES ONLY!
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I love how you say you're not motivated to exercise after you just listed two eating disorders as strategies to lose weight.
In conclusion, you're lazy. You MUST exercise to lose weight, there is no way around that. If you don't want to exercise, then you don't want to lose weight. You don't have a choice.
Oh, and see a therapist.
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You definitely have some sort of eating disorder. The best thing I can tell you to do is talk to a school counselor (or a therapist) about how you feel. Your counselor or therapist can help you deal with your self-image issues and work with you so that you no longer feel such a strong desire to lose weight. If you have a friend that you know will support you and can be trusted, talk to her/him about this, too. Friends are around you more often than counselors, and we tend to listen to them more. A supportive friend could be a huge help to you.
This is quite common, especially among teens. I have a health teacher who struggled with the same kind of problem in high school. She was a cross-country runner and spent most of her spare time planning meals to be as calorie-free and healthy as possible. I have a friend who struggles with weight issues and sometimes experiments with starving herself no matter how much all her friends plead with her to stop. And I have seen three people around my school who are obviously suffering from an eating disorder.
I really encourage you to talk to your school counselor, maybe even your parents. You may not be able to do anything about your obsession, but other people can. Good luck with this.
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