vintagesmiles's advice column | vintagesmiles's Advice About Love Life

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Q: I probably am the only person who thinks this,
but I really would like a boyfriend, and to be in love. I dont see whats wrong with me, I dont think there is anything that cant be accepted.

But I have this thing in the back of my mind, that maybe God doesnt want me to have love, and maybe he says I'm meant NOT to. And it scares me, bceause if thats so, I cant do anything about it..

I dont know if this makes sense,
but help?

God always wants what is best for us, he is always there to lead, guide and direct us. when you're meant/ready to fall in love and it's for a fact God is going to make sure that you do. he has a plan for each and everyone of us and i'm sure there isn't one of us that he doesn't want to be in love and have that feeling. just be patient. he's got something great planned for you, it just takes time. hope i could help. :)

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Q: look i'm really scare of showing my inner self because i am kind fat and you will see me wearing balck shirts and if not a will were black sweaters. my mom tells me that i am very pretty
and that i have beautiful green eyes and that i have some big stuff that i have to let it show but i'm scare people will call me names like fat stuff and fat *ss. And also i like this guy but like i told you .please help me? i want him to like me but i'm scare too. heeeeeelllllppppp. please.

if you're that concerned about your weight do something about it, i know thats easier said then done trust me i know how you feel. join a sport or something. but sometimes personality is stronger then looks, so if you have an amazing personality people aren't going to walk all over you. i know beautiful girls that are heavy and they're even more pretty because their attitudes. so just have good self esteem, don't be so hard on yourself and just enjoy your life. don't hide. :) hope i could help.

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Q: so the cutest guy that i work with has a crush on me or should i say HAD. the deal is taht hes 24 and im only 17 and the other night when he tried to kiss me good night i freaked out and told him that i didnt think i was ready and that mabye we could another time. But then the next time i went to work he wouldnt even give me the time of day! we said hi and everything but he went from loving me to completely ignoring me! i really do like him but how do i let him no that? ps i no its risky cause hes older but idc anymore

i doubt he has lost interest in you, maybe he is just embarassed because you turned him down when he tried to kiss you. you would feel the same way. don't stop talking to him, i would be really sweet to him and then when he's least expecting it kiss him to show that you are interested in him you just weren't ready the first time. since you're going out of your way to show him that you care about him he will understand and things should go back to normal. :) hope i could help!

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Q: ok my boyfriends friend just died. liek i have no idea what to say to him. i feel so bad

aww, i'm sorry. firstly just tell him that you will be there for him no matter what, and you know he's going through a rough time right now but you want to help him get through it and you will be by his side the whole way. try to make him laugh and keep his mind off of his loss. hope i could help. :)

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Q: Ok this question is going to be kind of deep, so here goes. When I was 14 I lose my virginity to my first love. I'm 19 now and married to another man. My first love, Tim, and I have been on and off since I was 14. No matter what we always seem to find a way back to each other. The problem is, I have been married now almost 2 years to this other man. BUT I still find myself thinking (alot) about my first, Tim. I don't know if I am in love with him still, or what. I am so confused. Everytime we bump into one another it's like that spark never left. Please help asap.

it sounds to me like you still love him, and obviously there is something there between the two of you or you wouldn't feel this way. if you really think about him a lot too then i think maybe you and tim are meant to be together but the guy you married is keeping you apart. i believe there is always going to be something between you and your first love, that's natural but i think that you and your first love are truly meant to be together and fates trying to bring you together again. just wait it out and follow your heart. :) hope i could help!

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Q: okay, first off i am 15. the guy i like is 19. we really get along greatly, we talk on the phone for hours and never run out of things to say. we even finish each other's sentences sometimes. a lot of people have been saying he just "wants some" but, mostly everyone knows i'm not that way, including him. i really like him but i dont want to be called a whore for dating him considering everyone says college boys only want one thing. another thing i worry about is my parents. what they would think if i told them. what should i do about people talking about me? please help me. :(

first off, it's only 4 years difference. that's practically like a freshman dating a senior which is normal. it doesn't matter what people say about you, your true friends will stick by your side and be there for you all the way through no matter what choice you make. plus, this sounds like a great match so don't loose hope. :) hope i helped!

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Q: ok lets say my best friends who are also best friends with my crush tell me that my crush (who says he likes me) never actually liked me or maybe that he was only using me to get some, what's a good answer to that? (not to my crush, but what do i tell me friends that will sounds cool and not too hurt and stuff, and something not too mean so i dont have to worry about them telling him about it) what do you think?

it sounds like your friends may be jealous that he likes you, and they know you like him back so they will say anything to keep you from dating him. and by them saying "he just wants some" they are referring to you as a slut so obviously they aren't being the best of friends. if they said that to you i personally would be like "you're just jealous because he wants some from me and not you" then say "just kidding, but you all as my friends should know me better then that." hope i helped doll! :)

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Q: ok well i really like this guy named tacquin and i just found out he has a girlfriend and he has had one for three weeks now and last weekend i had sex with him and i just realized that he had a girlfriend and i dont know what to think is it a bad think please help me:'(

don't blame yourself, it isn't your fault. you didn't know he had a girlfriend and he didn't tell you so obviously he was just thinking of himself. although you aren't dating this guy and you probably shouldn't have done that with him anyhow everyone makes mistakes and i'm not here to judge you. i don't think you should feel guilty because he was being self centered. don't dwell on it, or it will only make it worse. i hope i could help! :)

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Q: Ok, well I'm kinda basically in love with my best friend. And he knows that. He said he liked me too, but chose someone else over me. So now he has a girlfriend. He's still my best friend but he confuses me a lot. I know that he loves his girlfriend and would never want to leave her. But like, since he's had his girlfriend, he's kissed me, held my hand, and the other night me, him and my other friend were just kinda hangin out in my room. We were all sitting on the bed & me & him were just like lying down. & he put his arm around me. He always tells me he loves me. But that's because he really does, but just as a friend, I think. This confuses me alot. I don't know if he really does like me, but less than his girlfriend. Or if he's trying to just be nice to me cuz he knows I like him. Can someone please help me understand this? Like what should i do? And what do you think is going on?

i think your friend has feelings for you, he is just confused as to what to do right now. maybe he is afraid that if you date and break up it will ruin the friendship you have which sounds amazing. i would rather have a friend forever then a boyfriend for a while, because most relationships as a teen do not last forever. maybe you should talk to him about the way you feel, tell him you cannot keep going on the way you have been (as far as kissing, etc) because its only hurting you girl. hope i could help! :)

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Q:

so yeah there is this guy at my school. and i'm pretty sure he liked me a lot! he looked at me like he's in love. everytime his friends saw me they winked at eachother. and he smiled at me a lot 2. i admit i always ignored him cause thats just the way i am but I think THATS what made me interesting or whatever on the last day of school he smiled AGAIN.
but now since half term is over he kinda ignores me. his friends don't say anything anymore. they just pass me. but last monday there was this soccergame at ma school and he came. his teacher was standing next 2 me and he wanted 2 talk 2 him so he sorta came between me and his teacher and sorted it out. after that went right behind me and yelled weird things like how much they suck in playing and stuff like that l o l so yeah he was kinda showing of but after a wile he went back 2 his friends. did that mean anything or was he just standing there because of his teacher? i'm just wondering cause he's really confusing me

help?

oh yeah and yesterday when i entered the school he was standing right at the door with his friend but just ignored me. then i randomly turned around and i saw him looking at me???!!!!

sometimes we all seem to think that if we show interest in a guy that it will make us seem less challenging therefore we don't mean as much to them, but in some rare cases the guys like us to show that we like them or they will feel as though they are wasting their time. maybe you should flirt with him and show him that you are interested but don't come on too strong just yet. hope i could help! :)

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Q: well theres a guy. i feel comfortable talking to him online (like myspace,email,IM, etc...) but in person it's like i freeze up or something and i can't think of anything to talk about. what are some good ways to get over this?

try talking to him about things you both enjoy, something you could both do together. you will be having so much fun if it's something you like you won't be worried about how nervous or uncomfortable you are. eventually you will start feeling more of the ability to be yourself around him and things will be better between the two of you. if you cant be yourself around him it makes it harder for him to be himself. hope i could help. :)

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Q: 17/f Ok so there was this dude and he was practically perfect in every single way, we were kinda dating for a little over a month, we werent ever official but still. Anyway one day hes like 'err Im too busy to make a commitment, keep in touch?' and obviously i was a bit gutted but it was ok really. However, its now a month later and i still think about him all the time and really wish we were together. How can I get over him?

if he doesn't have time for you then you shouldn't be expected to make time for him as he told you to when he asked you to keep in touch. the best way to get over him is to look for other guys, one to date. don't use him to get over this other guy but maybe you'll find that you will like him better. the other guy will probably get jealous and feel guilty for what he did to you but don't forget the other guy if this happens, it will only show the boy you cared about the first time that he can have you whenever he wants you so all in all you won't be a challenge to him which makes you seem less valuable. don't let guys walk all over you girl. :) hope i could help!

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bio

i love jesus.

my family and friends are amazing.

smiling is my favorite.

i'm usually a pretty happy person.

i'm kind of shy, not stuck up.

i'm addicted to texting.

the 70's and 80's own me.

we will probably get along. (: