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babydrmgurlMember Since:
April 7, 2005Answers:
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August 26, 2005Visitors:
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Hey, I'm 16 and cute and give excellent advice. I rate pretty high and Have been through almost anything you can throw my way. Just ask it and I'll answer the best way I can and I will always tell you straight up how it is. If you don't believe then just ask. P.S. It doesn't hurt to have me as your favorite columnist- that way I can share my wisdom with you when you ask me directly instead of chancing that I'll come across it. :-)
advice
is having sex before marriage a sin
Depends on your religion. Lots of people do have sex before they are married but that doesn't make it right. If you are really religious and your religion says it is then you may believe that it is a sin, while at the same time you may not think so if you go to church but also believe that some things are sins while other sins aren't that serious. I think you should decide whether or not to have premarital sex based on whether or not you are ready. If you are ready for it and you know all the risks you are taking then you can have the sex, unless it's a rule by your parents. And thats the other thing, some kids aren't really religious while their parents are. So some kids have premarital sex and don't inform their parents but also be ready to explain and tell them if you happen to end up pregnant or with some illness or STD.
I love my boyfriend but lately he has been acting so possessive! He doesn't want me to hang out with my friends (though it fine for him to hang out with his). He doesn't even want me talk to them on the phone when I happen to be around him. He is starting to give me the creeps. Any advice?
If he creeps you out that bad then you should talk to him about it. I mean first you should let someone know that you are going to see him before you do if you're afraid he might hurt you when you bring up the topic. And if it's just the possessive thing then maybe you should tell him that you would like him to relax, if he's overboard jealous then maybe you should ask him to back off for a while.
i cant understand why i cant attract any boys.Alot of my guy friends think im hot but they just think im not the girl a boy will go for as a girlfriend.i dont know whats wrong with me.if im friendly they think im desperate for friends if im not im a snob.i just cant seems to do it right.my girl friends who is less preetier seems to attract more boys.i just want to feel special sometimes.i think ill never will.
I have the same problem as you and the problem is that we are losing our confidence when it comes to boys. You are trying to attract boys so that you feel special and then you start to want a boy to look your way so that you know isn't your looks and even after you see them stare you notice that none come up to you. I've been through this and still do. The problem is that when a boy looks at you like he may be interested or thinking about approaching you what do you do? If you put your head down and sort of hide then they may think you havr no confidence and/or think you are trying to hide from them and dont' wanna talk to them. If you don't hide but come straight up to them or just talk to them if they approach you then you may be coming on too strong. I found that the best thing to do is to stay true to yourself. Don't act any different then you would with a friend of yours or even someone you just met. Don't think that if you say something wrong then you'll lose their attention because that will only make you seem like you are scared and you aren't being fair to yourself. So give it time and don't worry, as you get older you'll realize that some guys are better as friends and when you are friends with guys they cna introduce you to their friends and maybe one of them will be it. So even if you don't make them your bf you can make them your good friend.
Hi all i had a misscarriage april last year and ever since we have been trying for a baby but no luck it is a year later now.. i am due my period but am 5 days late i had few cramps that been coming and going and have very sore boobs more then normal but i dont know wat to do i took a test 2 days after i missed but was negative please help me i would like sum advice thankyou..
clairesie. x
You should tae another test, about a week from now. Because when you took the test right after you missed your period the pregnancy hormone may not have been pregnant. Give it time and then try again. You could also go to a doctor have them do one of their tests. Hope this helps!
Me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost two years, and he has a three year old boy named Matty. I don't really have a problem with this, because I love the both of them so much. Matty's mom is the one who has the problem. Alex (boyfriend) doesn't EVER see Matty's mom. EVER. But he does sometimes let Matty see his mom. The only thing is that Matty doesn't seem to like his mother at all. He likes me more, so to speak. Alex hates Matty's mom for trying to take custady of Matty, but she lost the case, so he legaly belongs to Alex, but the problem is that she is telling people that I am ripping her baby away from her. I'm not. Alex was 20 when he had Matty, and he's a really great father to the kid, and Matty's mom is threatening to go to court again but this time with me. I don't want this, I'm not saying I like this girl, but I sometimes feel sorry for her. It must be hard never getting to see your kid and even harder when he doesn't like you. I'm tired of coming home and crying on Alex's shoulder. How do I tell this girl and Matty that there are better ways to solve this?
Thnx.
Sammy
It is this girls problem that her son doesn't "like" her, and there had to be a reason that she didn't get custody of Matty, so don't take her seriously. I don't think she has any legal right to take you to court since she isn't Matty's legal guaridian. She only gets the time she gets with him so she can't choose who her son does and doesn't get to see. And maybe to solve this problem you could sit down and have a talk (the 3 of you) and let her know that you have no intent to take her child away from her. It is Matty's idea of his mother that is making him not wanna be around, whether he thinks she is a stranger, or he just doesn't have any good memories of her. And don' let it bother you so much, she is just upset and maybe her feelings go deeper then her son's wellfare, maybe she still wants Alex. Good Luck! and remember that this isnt't your fault.
i really need help im going out wid some1 but dont feel ne thing 4 him ne more just like him as a friend and really like another lad plz help i no he will cry wen i dump him but i fink its 4 the best wat bout u?
emmaxx
If you don't like him anymore then you should break up with him. But when you do, let him know that you just dont like him as a boyfriend anymore but more as a friend. Maybe that will reduce the amount of tears and then go for the guy you like now. Never stay with someone for their sake, it's better to do what's best for you then to worry about the guy. Good Luck!
im 14 and a male. im incredibbly shy when it comes to girls. i will say the bare mininimum when they talk to me and will never start a converstaion with one mysyself. this is getting in the way because i have never had a gf. im not ugly coz girls have told me that . im just sooo shy. any tips on making it eiseir to talk to girls?
If you are too shy to talk to girls then try asking other guys. Ask them what they do and talk with. And when the girls come to talk to you, talk back. Even if you're just saying yes and no (shaking your head is irritating sometimes). And when they ask you something or try to talk to you about something get involved, say what your thinking. Try to be funny, share what's in your head. Being shy is cute but other times it's annoying when a girl is trying to make you fit in and trying to talk to you and you don't say anything. Find that girl you especially wanna impress and then start by trying to talk to her. I hope this helps!
I'm 14 yrs, and I am clueless to what I should do. I have had a crush on this one girl for maybe, a year now, and it's been hard for me to tell her. I just had the guts to tell her, and since then she's been uncomfortable around me. She has a boyrfriend now, and I feel like a big dope. I try to support her, but I still have feelings for her. DO you think I have a chance with her? And if I do, what do I do about it?
If you and this girl were friends before you told her how you felt then you should just pretend like your crush is over. Tell her your sorry you came on to her and that you don't know what you were thinking then ask if you can still be friends. Then you think about which you would prefer, her to be happy with this guy and you never be a thought to her and you'd never get to enjoy her happiness or you pretending to be all for her happiness and then when her and this guy part ways you are here for her making her think of how great you were and her potentially liking you afterwards. I hope this helps
16/f
I'm extremely shy, and I've never had a boyfriend, or a kiss. I want a boyfriend.. should I continue to be shy, do guys think it's cute? Or should I push myself to be more outgoing.. but idk how? I try to be myself, but I get so insecure, I always think people are judging me. I've had a few boys ask me out and everything.. but they were all losers, not to be mean or anything. So it's not like i've never had a chance of having a boyfriend. How do I get a decent guy to notice me?
To get a decent guy to notice you, you need to notice them. Start a conversation with them, notice things about him and then when you see them alone or in a line or something start a little conversation. If you really want a good guy then you need to flirt a little too. Just get eye contact, but don't look so hard he'll think your creepy, and never stare until he loks, just glance over and then when you're both looking at each other you smile a little smile (not a big smile with all your teeth just a half smile) and look away. Then you change the way your standing( if you're in a group of friends or you're on the dance floor) and you turn so you're facing the guy and look like you're having a great time. I hope you get your guy.
ok well i have this friend aaron and we're really close he's always there for me and he's always watching out for me. Well my boyfriend and me just broke up 3 days ago and we got backtogether the day after we broke up because he told me he would change blah blah blah...and like aaron was gonna call me at 2:30 in the morning just to wae me up and make me mad and i didnt think he would so i put up an away message on AIM and said "trying to stay up till 2:30 to see if fag will call me" well my boyfriend saw it and called me at 3 wanting to know who it was and i told him and he sounded cool well then he called me at 4 and goes you like aaron and i was like no and he goes wel since u can stay up and talk to him and not me im gonna go and hung up
but i feel really bad about what happend...
can anybody give me any advice..
sry for the length
ill rate all 5 to anything thats not mean!
THANKS!
seems like Arron is your best friend and like a big brother to you. You should let your bf know that and explain that you didn't plan on having a conversation with arron he was just going to call to make you mad. But whatever you do, don't let arron go because if you and this guy broke up before then it could happen again. Good Luck!
OK, well there is this guy who i really really like and he has a gf. I really like him and i want him and his recent gf to break up really bad. Should i tell him i like him or just wait to see what happens?
Wait to see what happens. This boy probably still has feelings for his gf since well they still go together but later along the line he may not want her anymore and then you make your move. This way it saves you the drama of the gf finding out you like her man and it still leaves that chance that when they break up you have a shot. Good Luck!
okay, my first love, diego, and i were in love for about a year and a half. we always were together, but we never went farther than kissing.
we have both moved on now, and we havent really thought of eachother as more than best friends for about 6 months..
im now with a new guy named sam. sam and i are really close, but everytime i tell him i love him, diegos face comes to my mind, but i dont know why. diego and i were talking last night, and we were flirting a lot.
now, looking back, i feel REALLY bad, and i dont know if i should tell sam or not. i know its not like i went off and did stuff with diego, but im still not sure if its concidered cheating or not...is it?!
what do you think i should do!?
14/f
I think you should let this pass as one of those weird moments. If you love Diego and Sam then you just need to figure out which one you wanna be with. If you and Diego aren't together it's probably best that you stay apart, but sometimes getting back together works. You're 14 you shouldn't be worried about loving 2 guys and give it time. Good Luck!
im in a band and im worried that if i get a gf that the band will get in the way. i would invite her to practice but she would make the other guys in the band nervous. id constantly be saying "nah sorry i cant come see u at the weekend i have practice" also if i did invite her to practice she would just be sitting around and getting bored. i have another problem too. if i bring a gf home my dad and sis will make fun sooooooooo much and i wil just get embaressed.plz help with both probs!!
You need to make time for both things. If you want a gf then you should have one but she would need to be able to accept that you are in a band, while at the same time you and your band need to agree that playing can't take up all of your time. As far as your as dad adn sister, they wouldn't make fun of you. I mean they may joke and have fun with it little bit but I'm sure they would most likely stop if you let them know it upsets you. I hope this helps, Gook Luck!
I kno Im to yung, but I had sex wit my bf like 3 months aftr we went out and I didnt wanna do it but he prssurd me into it, so we did it. Now I unno wat to do but I like him a lot and I dun wanna break up wit him but he keeps makin me do it! Wat shud i do?
Look, you need to look out or yourself, not him. It's fine to like him a lot but letting a guy pressure you into something you aren't ready for isn't good and what's worse is if you keep havin unhealthy sex like this then later in life yo won't find it as enjoyable probably. Look out for yaself besfore you go and do anything you don't wanna do. Seriously, tell him NO, and not a little whisper, you tell him you weren't ready and still aren't. And threaten to let somebody else know what's happening if he doesn't take the no and keeps trying to persue you. B/c it sounds like he wants sex nad not much more. I hope you get help or stand up to him b/c letting him use you like that isn't good for you. Good Luck
so i have this boyfriend. almost 3 months. but we have only held hands and hugged. he is going sooo slow. every one is like .. make the first move. but im really shy. like.. really shy. but just around the boy im going out with. are there anyway i can sortof give him hints.. but not make the firt move? 13/f
You are too young to be doing more anyway. Do you really wanna remember your first time as you rushed into it when you were 13 and now you wish this guy hadn't givin in. Plus you must remember that guys are tyring to wait until they are ready too. If he's not ready you should respect that. But if you need to know then you should bring it up in t conversation. Oh and by the way, if you get too shy to even try and make the first move with this guy then do you really think you're going to be comfy kissing him or having sex with him? Let it run it's course, maybe you two just need to take a look at what you want out of it. Are you wanting sex or just a kiss? he may think kissing is a big deal.Talk to him, if anyone knows why he's going so slow it would be him. he could be scared, guys get insecure just like females. Good Luck!
i need advice on what to do .. i went out withmy best friend and we went out for like 2 months then i dumped him and went out with his best friend and i like him a lot and like i still kinda love my ex i mean me and him are still best friends and all but he still loves me and hes asked me for like 20 chances and i just turned him down and hes hurt himself over it he still loves me with all his heart and i just went out with his best friend and i really like who im going out with right now but im very confused the guy im going out with now has a really good personality and im comfortable with him and stuff yea but my ex i mean hes knows sooo much about me and stuff and i gave everything to him like my virigity .. yea but im just really confused should i stay with the guy im with or go back to my ex??help!!have any advice on what to do next??
Sounds like you have 2 huys hot for you and don't know which to choose?I'm confused, but lets make it simple, it's not about wh loves you more, or who knows you better, it's about who you love and who you want. When you brake it down to that there should only really be one guy you want. Don't go with anyone because you feel they are in love and it is crushing them, it would only make it worse, plus if you and your ex broke up there h to be a reason for it so think is it worth giving another try or do you want the guy your with? In the end you have the final say, unless you make them wait too long then they could not want you any more. Good Luck!
This guy I know has told me he liked me a few weeks ago. I STARTED to like him BEFORE he told me. When he told me and continued to confess his love for me, he just got less and less attractive. He got clingy, and obsessive. He calls me 3 or 4 times a day and can't go a day without tlaking to me on the phone, as if we are in a relationship! I suggested we hang out during spring break so I can get to know him, but then I got too busy. Then he made me promise I'd go out with him during the summer when I'm not too busy! OMG! I have tried not talking to him on the phone and avoiding his calls, but nothings working. I don't want to hurt his feelings, but I DID tell him I wasn't into a boyfriend right now. Any advice?
The best way to deal with boys like this is to let them down easy. Tell him that you are not interested in him and that it's not really him rather you are kinda busy right now and don't have time to be on the phone every day and sometimes when you do have some you time you don't wanna be on the phone, or promising things. And then let him know that it's not right to either of you to have to pencil in time and to be tied down. Tell him you both are young and can be friends but nothing else. Good Luck!
I'm 14 and I've never had a boyfriend. Usually it doesn't really bother me but I've seen so many couples who are younger than me and it makes me feel so sad and worthless. I'm ugly and shy and boring so I suppose no boy will ever want to go out with me, and even if a miracle happened and I did get one, I wouldn't really know what to do or what to say =\ People think I'm weird because I've never kissed a boy or even been out with one, I feel so different and frigid =[ I guess I was made to be single but I just want to know what it feels like to be loved.. How am I ever gonna get a boyfriend when I look like I do and I'm as shy as I am? I like this boy at school but he doesn't really like my friends because they're so immature, so he most likely thinks I'm like them and hates me too - I'm not as immature as them though.. Please help? Thanks xx
Here's the thing, your 14 I was actually that age when I had my first kiss and I wasn't too concerned with age when it happened. Any guy is going to probably judge you by the way your friends act unless you show otherwise. If he see's you doing the exact same immature thing they are then he'll think you're like them or if he see's you just sitting there letting it happen he'll think you're not for him. Speak up and let him know and honestly being one of the ones to get kissed or do more eariler makes people think of you as a little easy anyway. I know that most girls wanna be loved but it helps to know that there are other girls out there that are feeling the same way as you are. Don't feel different feel honored that you are waiting for the perfect boy for you to give you your first kiss, or other firsts (b/c trust me you don't want any of your first with some a** who thinks he is being a player and feels the need to be a jerk and tell people or treat yu like crap after) Feel honored not different. Good Luck!
basically to cut a long story short....
i really i mean really like this boy who has gone to the army before i got a chance to tell him how i feel because i only realised after he left.
its been 9 months since i have seen him and ive been trying to get over him but i cant.
he'll never come back.
then i met a boy on msn through my best mate a month ago. since then we've become really close. he has got deep feelings for another girl and he dosent know how i feel.
i'm just so confused right now.
any help would be so helpfull
xx
I think you need to take some time and just think. If you can't think of a good reason that either of them is right for you then you need to get over them both and the best way to do that is to spend as much time with friends as possible. But in your case one of them is in the army and you may never see him again so that's not the worst part. Now as far as the other guy goes if he has deep feelings for someone else then you need to think about how much you really like him. If you don't think he is into you that much then stay close friends. You never know it could someday form into more. Good Luck!
I'm 15 Okay well my good guy friend and I want to date, but his mother hates my guts. Once his mother said something about me and he was sticking up for me and she said "Don't you start that again or I'll pull you out of school." And believe me she would do it too. So my friends are like just date and dont tell his mother, but his ex girlfriend is one of my good friends and her mother is still really good friends with his mother. So there is no way that we could keep it from her. What do you think I shud do?
Here's the thing, his mother may have good reasons in her mind for not liking you, so you need to figure out what they are or maybe try talking to her. And it may just be that momma thinks her son and your best friend should be together instead of you and her son. You could just leave it strictly friends or you could date and not tell your best friend or if you tell her ask her to not tell her mother. I know it's tough when a guy you like's parents don't like you but you have to be creative and think of ways to prove that you are worthy of her son. And don't go doing anything crazy that may get back to her because that won't make it any better. Good Luck!