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I think that I need some advice on whether or not I should stay with my boyfriend. I have been dating him for about a year and two months. (We broke up briefly in the beginning of August, but we decided to get back together, and are still together as of now. ) I'm very confused about my feelings for him. He is a really great guy and there are qualities about him that I don't see in anyone else that I know. That is part of the reason that I have stayed with him for so long; I don't know anyone else that I believe will treat me like he does, or be there for me like he is. He definitely gets me. He's funny, affectionate, and he is very loyal and kind. He gets along with my family and friends, which is very important to me. We both share a lot of morals, too. That was part of the reason that we started dating - we were friends first, but noticed qualities in each other that we couldn't see in any of our mutual friends and it progressed from there. We have been together for such a long time, and that is why it was very difficult to go from being so close to completely broken up. We broke up for a week, and whenever I saw him I wanted to cry. The reason we broke up is complicated. I'd been feeling like breaking up with him for a while now, but there was always some big event that the two of us were looking forward to that stopped me. (For example: I couldn't break up with him before senior prom, etc.) Then he told me he loved me on our one-year, and I just didn't feel right saying it back. It's incredibly difficult for me to think about breaking up with him again, but I know that deep down I shouldn't be with someone that I don't feel like I 100% love. I don't want to hurt him, and I know that he was really hurt when we broke up before. I was too. When we broke up, I felt so alone, and I felt like it was the wrong decision. I feel better now that we are together; I feel content. Whenever we hang out, I have a pretty good time. But there's still a part of me that wants to be free, and wants to search for a guy who is an even better match for me, and be able to do whatever I want in the mean time. I have no idea what I should do. I'm torn between staying with him and breaking up with him. Just the thought of us breaking up makes me cringe. What do you think I should do? Thank you. (link)
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I think you know what you should do.You don't feel like you love him in that way anymore and it isn't fair to lead him on.You're gonna feel alone at first because you are so used to him being there for you.After every break up no matter who does it both people normally feel alone.If the only reason you're staying with him is because you are afraid of being alone then that's not a good reason to stay with him.
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About a month ago me and my boyfriend broke up (I broke up with him due to something that had happened between us, nothing too serious) He begged for me back, and eventually we got back together. Last week we spoke about that happening, and he said he thinks that for the best we should break up.
We have spoke since and he was undecided whether to try again. He's already been thinking about it for a week, and told me he doesn't want to give it another chance. After speaking to him again he changed his mind and said he wasn't sure because he didn't want to keep breaking up and getting back together. I know this won't happen again, not on my part any way. He said he loves me and he still wants to be with me, just the circumstances of the "breaking up and getting back together"
I spoke to him and he said he's re-thinking everyting. He said it was hurting him a lot too. If it hurts for him then why can't he give it another chance if he's sure that he wants me back? Do you think that means he doesn't want me back? He told my friend that he hopes we can work on it, but I don't know if he's saying that just to sound the nice guy. (link)
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I am going through the exact same thing you are.The truth that we both need to realize is it won't work out.If he cares about you as much as he says he does then this shouldn't be a hard choice.He should want to be with you and want to work it out, but he has to think about it.He might think the only reason it's hard is because he feels alone without you.I feel alone without my boyfriend and I know I want to feel loved again and I want to have someone to care about and to care about me too.I want someone to always be there to talk to, but the more I think about it the more I realize that's what I want.Maybe you guys are the same you guys want that so much you're settling for each other.I know it hurts, but maybe it's for the best.Try being friends for a little bit and if in a couple weeks you guys still like each other then try it out.Chances are the more you think about it the more you'll realize you guys should be friends.Hope this helps.
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I don't know what to do with him! I found out from my bff that my bf made a facebook group thing about our relationshp. I went and red a few things on it and it is personal and nothing anybody should know but us so I told him I knew he had a secret he was keeping from me but not what it was so he would tell me or something but he didn't. i kinda thought that he posted stuff and didn't think it was bad and I wanted to give him chances to say so but he just said he didnt have no secrets so i went back to read the rest and he had made it private only so now it is hidden from me.
I guess what I am asking is if he didn't think this was wrong why did he hide it when i found out? He still denies everything and now i got no proof because i cant see it anymore!!! i have been crying about this and i feel betrayed like he has a secret life on facebook or something! should i stay with him if he isn't going to be honest and still hides things?
Sorry if this is too long! (link)
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This answer is probably going to be long...I have a lot to say!I'm going to apologize for that before I even answer the question.
First off he shouldn't be creating a group on facebook about your relationship. What happens between you guys should only be your business. IF he tells anyone it should only be a close friend, definitely not everyone. Facebook is so public that nothing even kinda personal should be posted on it. He wouldn't want you going around telling everyone he knows his deepest secrets. You don't have anything to hide, but it takes away the special intimate feeling that you get when you are with someone. Of course there are some things people can know, but not everything, because then there is nothing left to be special for you guys.
Relationships are about trust. Even if he did make the group wouldn't you rather know about it?He probably is scared to tell you, because he is afraid what your reaction will be, but he should still admit to it. It was a good idea to give him the chance to tell you. That was fair of you. You didn't get mad, instead you gave him the opportunity to be honest. What he did with that opportunity was his choice. Now you have every right to be upset. He did keep something from you and that wasn't right of him at all. He should have told you the truth as soon as you brought it up. I'm not saying break up with him though. Everyone deserves second chances. If you feel like you can forgive him and move on with your relationship then don't break up with him. If you feel like this is something you can't get over then you need to end it. Before you decide to end it or to move on talk about it with him. Just tell him you know he made the group and your upset about it. Maybe ask him why he made the group or why he didn't tell you about it. Try working things out before you make your decision. It's the only way you will know for sure why he hid it from you, why he made it, and if you wanna be with him or not.
Once again I'm so sorry this was so long! I hope this helps and good luck!:)
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You can love in a lot of ways. you can be with someone so amazing and say you love them; the next, and scariest step, if youre serious enough, can be saying youre in love with them.
(lets make sure we know the difference between loving someone & being in love with someone. i always believed you can only be in love so many times.)
For example, my story.. i met this guy in the beginning of sophomore year. we began to talk but we didnt get close until early 2010. we were best friends for months & then he admitted to liking me. I began to like him back and weve been together officially for nearly two months.
when someone's your best friend, is it faster to fall in love? how do you know? what's the differnece between loving someone & being in love with them?
i know they say youll know when you know. but maybe there are some little factors that everybody catches on.
thank you!
(link)
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For me being in love with someone is when you can't picture your life without them and they complete you. You want them to be happy even if that means hurting you. Loving someone is wanting the best for them and caring about them. Friendship is a good base to build a relationship off of. I'm in love with my boyfriend and we only knew each other for two days before we started dating. You just know when you're in love. For me it's when I think about him i get butterflies in my stomach and my heart races. He can make me smile just by walking in the room and make me cry, because I'm so happy to be with him. I think about him constantly and don't want to be with anyone, but him.That's how I knew I was in love with him, but it's different for everyone. You're the only person who knows if you're in love with him or not, but friendship probably helps just a little bit make someone fall in love faster.
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This guy told me he likes me because i'm naive? what did he mean? (link)
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naive is a bit offensieve. He probably just meant innocent which isnt a bad thing.
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how did you meet? i'm just curious to see what's out there. (link)
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I met my boyfriend of 3 years through a friend. She had always talked about him and I got curious so I added him as a friend on facebook and chatted him. He later asked for my number and we talked all the time. We met in person and really hit it off.
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Hey. Okay. I am a fifteen year old girl... when I was fourteen I liked a boy who told me he liked me too until we had a conversation one day about sex and I told him I believed in waiting for marriage and he told me he didn't like me anymore... My first boyfriend after that I thought I loved. Yeah, I know, I was young and stupid haha. But he could have told me the sky was green and I'd believe him. I believed everything he said. He talked me into giving him head and broke up with me immediatly after. He told me he didn't like me anymore, but he wanted that before we split... It hurt so bad to know that he had only said he loved me to use me... Later on he told me that for the last three months of our seven month relationship, he was only in it for the physical stuff. A few months after that I went on a date with a guy who attempted to rape me. He heard rumors that I "put out" and wanted to see how lucky he could get. I just don't understand... I feel so horrible right now. I feel like the only thing I have to offer anyone is my body. Am I really such a sucky person that that's the only reason any guy will stick around?? So many guys have "professed their love" (guys I've never even talked to!!) to me but they just want something... I feel useless. Like that sexual stuff is the only thing I'm good for. I know I'm not ugly but I'm starting to doubt if any guy can love me for the inside stuff. Or if I'm even worth the time for them to try to see what's there. (link)
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you are definitely NOT a sucky person. Boys at this age just try to "get some" it's not you it's the boys. I'm so sorry this had to happen to you. Eventually a boy will come around that cares about the real you not the physical stuff. You aren't useless either. I bet you have an amazing personality and these boys are just too stupid to see it. Don't look down on yourself!!Just be careful with the boys you trust your heart with.
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okay so
im going to be a senior next year at highschool,
but i went to a club last night with fake ids...and some of my friends knew the bouncers and stuff so like yeah
i was only going to enjoy the night since its summer time!
so i danced with couple of guys and one of them was really cute
he asked for my number so i gave it to him altho i was a bit scared of telling a total stranger my number..
then he texted me and did not seem like a bad guy at all
it really sounded like he wanted to see me later on, eat together youknow, not like a one night stand shit or whatever
i had to lie to him that im 18 and going to college next fall, but im actually 17.
he wants to see me this weekend eat and watch movies or something - (so sweet)
i do want to go, but i've never lied to person this much! my age and that im going to college soon? should i just tell him now that im actually a senior? or tell him after we meet and see if he still wants to see me again...
okay that was kinda long. i need help. ? (link)
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If I were you I would be honest with him before you guys go out, because if you do go out with you're risking that you like him even more than you do now. If you like him more than you won't ever want to tell him the truth and age may matter to him, especially since you wouldn't be a legal adult yet. Be honest with him before going out with him.
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Okay. See here's the thing. I used to be such a stubborn independ, strong willed girl. You couldn't tell me to do anything, I was crazy. But when I started dating this boy. I think I let him change me... And I think I know the night it happened. I was hanging out with him one night and we were kissing, normal stuff. But then it started getting kind of hot, like I started to press into him more (we were laying down on the couch, I was on top) then he pulled me down so he was on top and started to press into me even harder, it almost hurt. He stopped for a second because I was hesitating now. I apologized and reminded him this was the first time I've ever been this physical with a guy, cuz he was my first boyfriend. He said it's okay and kept going. He started putting his hand down my pants and I pulled it out. A few minutes later he put it down again and I pulled it out. He put it in a third time and I knew, I knew it was wrong for him to keep doing this but somehow I also thought it was okay... I can't even explain it. It's like I shut down and just let him. I let him finger me. Then he stopped and I didn't even notice it but I had started crying. I don't know why I couldn't tell him to stop... I wasn't scared I was just like lost... completely zoned out. I don't know. He didn't notice I was crying and we kept going. He then proceeded to put my hand in his pants and I pulled it away. He asked me for a handjob and I said no. He told me it was okay. The next time we hung out he pulled down his pants and put my hand... well you know where. I started giving him a hj. I don't know why I couldnt' say no!! I started to cry though and we stopped and he hugged me, I just told him I didn't want to go so fast and he said okay. Except everytime we hung out he continued to finger me. When we hit six months I knew something was wrong. It was like this kid had sucked all of my strength out of me. I wasn't myself anymore. And when he asked for a bj I said no but like usual the things he said to convice me stopped seeming ilke convincing and started making so much sense even though I knew it was wrong. He told me things like "it's been six months, I finger you and it seems like that aspect of our relationship is completely one-sided. you should be comfortable enough to do this for me." and I did it... I was shocked with myself. I couldn't believe I was fourteen and doing this. I started crying after but he held me and told me it was okay and that he loved me and I believed him. He could tell me anything and I'd believe him. I don't know how our relationship got like this. Anyway, he dumped four days later. Its been two months since the break up and I know I'm stronger now. But I'm scared to trust myself with liking a guy again. I HATED how pathetic and used my ex made me feel. I HATED being his little slave. I don't ever want that again... I don't know if I can't trust boys or if I can't trust myself... I don't know what to do. How can I get back who I was?? (link)
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You can trust other boys. Don't let one boy change how you feel about al boys. If you do go out with someone new then just make how you feel about doing things with him clear at first. I know it's hard to say no when things are happening, because I've been there before too. I was so afraid to disappoint and upset him that I let him do things to me I didn't want to happen. If you make how you feel about going far clear at first and they still pressure you into something you don't want to do then they aren't respecting what you want. If they break up with you because of it then you wouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't respect what you want and how you feel.
For getting your old self back, it'll take a little more time. The past is the past and by feeling bad about it you're just going to make yourself feel bad. Eventually you'll become yourself again. Talk to a close friend about it and maybe that will help you feel like yourself again. You're putting yourself down, which is why you aren't as independent as you were before. Once you feel good about yourself again, the old you will come back.
Hope this helps!
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ok so my bf and i r going out and i went to his house yesterday we started making out and one thing lead to another and he took off my shirt and bra.we continued making out but i eventually put my clothes back on after like 3 minutes. I'm only 14 and a female and i feel like I'm a slut because we've only been going out for 3 weeks. he said that he loved me and he always talks about the future in like years but i don't know what to think. am i slut? (link)
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No honey your not a slut. If he's your boyfriend you're expected to do things with him. It may be too fast and if you're uncomfortable with how fast things are going then talk to him about it. He might even agree with you.
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Ok so I have never like reall kissed a guy before and I don know how to. And please don't say you will figure it out it comes naturaly or something please!? Thanks alot! :)
~Kaiya (link)
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It really will just come naturally. I was just as nervous for my first kiss, but when it happened I figured it out pretty quickly. You'll get better at it too.
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Hello I am a 13 year old girl I like this boy and his brother told me that he likes me and I want to go out with him, should I give a hint, or ask him myself or wait and see if he would ask me? (link)
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Tell him how you feel!!Live life with no regrets and go for it. You'll never know unless you try. Definitely give him hints and if he still hasn't asked then just go for it and tell him.
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I'm a thirteen-year-old rising female freshman.
Back in September, I got my first boyfriend. Let's say his name was Tyler. Tyler verbally, mentally, and emotionally abused me for almost six months before I finally broke it off. The thing is - I know I was wrong to give in to this - I lost my virginity to Tyler. I thought I loved him, and adults around me believed we were in love too, so I don't know, I just felt like I could trust him. I know I was stupid, losing my virginity at thirteen to someone I no longer care about, but I've learned from my mistakes and won't do this for many years.
Now I've got a new boyfriend. Let's say his name is Aaron. I've known Aaron for almost two years now; we've always been close. I'm Aaron's first girlfriend. I love him a lot, and he's the person I trust most in this world. Recently, I accidentally let loose the fact that I have a deep dark secret (that I'm no longer a virgin). He got curious and asked what exactly my secret was, so I told him I trusted him enough that I would tell him by the end of the summer.
I have no regrets about saying I'd reveal my secret to him. I know he'd never tell anyone. What I am scared of, however, is what he'll think of me afterwards. What if he calls me a whore or something? I know that means he doesn't deserve me, that he isn't worth it. But unlike a lot of other people, his opinion means so much to me. I guess I kind of need some reassurance in my decision to tell him. D: (link)
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If he truly cares about you then he'll accept you for who you are. He should be able to accept you mistakes and all. If he does change how he thinks about you then he's not who you thought he was.
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Alriiiight. So I'm fifteen and my ex is sixteen but I was fourteen while I dated him. Since we broke up (he dumped me) I've left him alone, been a good girl, ya know, didn't cause drama. But he's telling everyone I gave him a BJ, which... yeah I did. I really regret it cause Jesus I was fourteen, but while we were dating I let him walk all over me... I was definitely whipped. He made me feel so guilty saying I should do it if I loved him and stuff like that... I know I know, please don't tell me it was a mistake because you'll only be telling me what I already know. And you wouldn't understand how it felt unless you were in my place... and I got dumped four days later in a text message so I think I got my punishment. Anyway it was my understanding that something like that is supposed to stay inbetween you and your boy (thats what he promised me at least...) but yeah he told the entire baseball team, who told the football team, who told the basketball team... I don't know why only guys are hearing this... Well anyway my ex ALSO started telling people that we had sex which ISN'T true. He's saying digusting things too. Like "When I was on top I was scared I was gonna break her cause she's so tiny." and "She let me do whatever I wanted, I bet I coulda stuck it up the a$$ if I wanted to." And now all the guys think it's real funny to come up to me and put their finger up my butt. Ha-ha, right? It's been two months and these rumors HAVEN'T faded... I even went away for camp for a week and when I came back WORSE things were being said. I don't know what to do. Our school is so small... and my repuatation before this has been "goody goody two shoes" now people are looking at me differently and guys have been saying all these gross things to me... I told my ex that I don't deserve any of this because I never did anything to hurt him... Everytime I tell him about this he says he's telling people he was lying... but he's not. He just doesn't care he's being an ass... he doesn't care but I do. How can I just make this all go away? I have super supportive friends but I can't handle this anymore. (link)
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I know what it's like to have rumors spread about them, but eventually it'll slow down. They'll never go away completely, but other things will happen and it'll become old news. When people question you about having sex with him just tell them that you haven;t had sex with him, but they can think what they want, because you and him both know the truth. Don't make a big deal out of it. That's what your ex wants. He wants to see your reaction so just hold your head up high and don't give him what he wants. You're not a slut sweetie.
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there are a lot of ppl involved so here's a list:
Jake: (boy; 16) my ex-boyfriend
Brit: (girl; 15) Jakes ex-girlfrind, not my friend
Matt: (boy; 16) the guy I think I like now
John: (boy; 16) My BFF basically, used to be Jakes bestfriend till we broke up but they kinda still hang.
Tess: (girl; 15) my good friend
Ben: (boy; 16) some kid I kind of had a thing with
Phew. And I am a fifteen year old girl. Okay so Jake and I dated for seven months, but he was abusive, verbally and sometimes physically as well. We broke up and he started telling people we did all these things we didn't do, like had sex and stuff. Well he and John used to be super close till he found out all the horrible things Jake did. Alright so this boy Ben, he's kind of a player. He dated Britt for a while, who is Jake's ex-girlfriend. So when Ben asked me out on a date I said no because I didn't wanna take another one of this girl's Britt's left over guys haha ya know? So yeah... he's kind of out of the picture but I still kinda like him :/ ...
Anyway the main guy I like right now is Matt. He's super sweet and nice but I feel like I want myself to like him more than I actually do. Also, Matt and Jake HATE eachother. Jake almost started a fight with him a few weeks ago when he saw me with Matt even though we aren't dating anymore... I wanna be with Matt but at the same time I don't want himr or Jake to fight and someone get hurt. And there is one more complication here...
John. He and my friend Tess kind of like eachother. Except that Tess is talking to a bunch of other guys and she recently told hiim she doesn't think she likes him, they still ya know, kinda talk. John and I are super close. We hug and cuddle and I hold his hand and sit on his lap but I've always seen it as just us being good friends. Like we did it while I was dating Jake too, we're just super good friends. He knows everything about me. I don't know if I have feelings for him...
We were hanging out at the park the other day and I was sitting on his lap on a swing and I was making fun of him cause we joke around that he's liked all of my close friends. All three of them have hurt him though. Like, they say they like him and then they tell them they don't. We were joking around like "hey I'm the only one left!" and he suddenly got kind of serious and said "Ya know I should just try going after you. You'd never hurt me." ... I don't know if he was serious. I feel like our relationship has always tetered on the edge of liking eachother but I just don't think we'd ever work as a couple. We'd be so dysfunctional. Plus he's still kind of good friends with Jake...
Soooo my life is a mess. And I really neeed to know what to do about Jake, Matt, Ben, and John... Please don't judge me. I don't know what to do, I just want to figure this all out and I don't want to hurt anyone... :( (link)
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well I think that if you had true feelings for John you wouldn't need to ask yourself if you like him or not. You should ask yourself why you think you like him. Is it because in a way maybe as a joke maybe as the truth he's told you he has feelings for you or do you honestly have feelings for him? If he hadn't have said anything would you still consider liking him? Don't forget to not hurt yourself, because the way you feel and your feelings are just as important as your friends' feelings.
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