Hey y'all. I started this whole advice thing cuz i absolutely luv people and giving advice. I'll try to help the best I can with whatever problem you have. I've been through a little of everything so ask away and don't be shy!
E-mail: e.sherhart@comcast.net
Gender: Female
Location: TEXAS!!!
Occupation: Violinist
Age: 16
AIM: rikatree2375
Member Since: July 29, 2005
Answers: 255
Last Update: September 12, 2006
Visitors: 16326
Main Categories:
Friendship
Love Life
Spirituality
View All
Favorite Columnists
cookierat123
DeeSireDiOr
|
| |
okay, where to start. well i was going out with this boy named Alex. and i liked him alot and everything but he liked me like a thousand times more. well like every night this boy Lane would call me tryin to get with me, but i never thought anything of it. well about two months passed and me and Alex had already broken up. Then Lane was going out with my friend Addair who can't keep a boyfriend at all. Well she was grounded and me and Lane and all my other friends were all friends so we were goin out together and Lane started liking me that night again. me and Lane have kind of like always had a thing for eachother. well the next Addair brok up with Lane cause like i said, she doesn't like keeping a boyfriend. then Lane asked me out. so i said yes. i have never had a boyfriend like Lane before. it was so much fun with him, like we experienced so many new things together. we went out for 3 1/2 months and then at this fair thing we have in my town, his friends from his school were there [we go to different schools] and he started acting like a COMPLETE JERK. like it was so weird, he was never that bad. so then i couldnt take it and i broke up with him. then i found out he acted like that so i would break up with him. that hurt. i was sitting there crying so hard and all he could say to me was stop shaking. so then we went a caouple days without talking, and then i called him. i was like, Lane, what happened? and he basically told me he was just tired of having a girlfriend and he wanted to be single. i never wanted to break up with him. so then the first weekend after we broke up we were hanging out at the mall with all our friends and he was acting like we were like, "together" you know. and it made me so mad. but i couldnt help but like it cause i like him. then the next day me him, my best friend Taylor, and her boyfriend which is Lane's bestfriend, Kyle all went to the movies. well Lane likes kind of "simple" girls in a way. and well, i dress kind of not simple sometimes. i like acessories and style and stuff. well at the movies that night he decided that he wasnt gonna hang out with us because of what i was wearing. i mean how frickin low is that. i was so mad. cause then i was stuck with Taylor and her boyfriend and oh my gosh that was like hell. well then i had people over at my house the next monday and he was one of them. we flirted like crazy and like, i can tell there's chemistry there. but i just don't know how much. well then last night we went to the movies again, me Taylor, Kyle, and Lane. well me and Lane used to always go to the movies together when we went out, alot of stuff happened at the movies. so it was hard. cause you don't know how bad i just wanted to start making out with him. well then he started trying to kiss me and he held my hand and i resisted for a while but uhhh i just cant resist that boy. so then we were like all together and it was just so confusing and he was like i still like you and i shouldn't have ever broken up with you. my friend Taylor doesn't think i should go back out with him anytime soon. my friend Caela thinks i deff. should. my friend Addair is in the middle. so i am so completely confused. i dont know what he wants, i dont know what i want, i dont know what my friends want. so can you help, please? sorry its so long, lol.
thankss
(link)
| |
Wow this sounds complicated lol. Well this guy sounds like a pretty nice guy, but think back on how he acted when he was being a jerk at the fair. I know that hurt you, but only you yourself know to what extent you got hurt. So think back on that for a second. I don't want to point out all the negative times y'all have had but if he hurt you, you need to take a step back. If I were you, I would sit him down and ask why one minute, he turned all shallow on you and then the next he wants you back. Be honest and I'm sure he'll respect that. It doesn't hurt to ask him and then atleast you'll get to understand him a little more and why he did what he did. And another piece of advice. I know you want the input of your close friends, but don't go on what they say. In a way, I'm glad they disagree because this is your choice. You need to really ask yourself if you can let go of the past when he didnt treat you right and give him another shot. This is really your call. I don't feel like I'm helping but that's all I can really do. Just talk to him. It can't hurt. And take it one step at a time! Hope that helped somewhat.
|
|
I'm a 15 year old girl and I've been "going out" with this guy for about a month. Problem is, I don't him anymore. I like someone else, and I think he may like me, but I'm not sure. What's the best way to dump a guy without being rude? (link)
|
Well, i guess the best way is to be honest. The guy deserves it. Just tell him you'll always be friends but that you think you've found somebody else. It's going to hurt him but don't you think it'd be worse if he found you cheating on him? So just let him know and take things slow. You're young so you don't have to rush things. Take life as it comes.
4Him, Disciple
|
|
If you were asked to sign a prenup, would you sill want to get married to that person? I always thought that if you go into marriage with the thought of divorce then it will happen. Signing a prenup is kind of like saying "hey, if this doesn't go well then we can just get a divorce and all my money will still be okay." (link)
|
Personally, i wouldn't marry that person. If you have to go to such lengths as to get that kind of agreement and you arent already married, that's like expecting it to happen!!! And not all marriages should end in divorce. You should marry somebody you absolutely love and can never imagine getting a divorce. It's not being unrealistic at all. My parents have been happily married for 22 years. So not everybody divorces. Really try to decide if you love this person. But if you don't, reconsider. I hope i helped some. Good luck!!!
4Him, Disciple
|
does he like me?
i like this kid who is in my group of friends that ij ust started really talking to at the end of the summer. he is soo good-looking with a nice body and everything and a ton of the girls like him. most of them barely talk to him and just like him because of his appearance but other do talk to him too and know he's a nice guy.
i really really really like him. my best friend (who's a guy) is good friends with him and he is going to ask him who he likes..but i want to know what you guys think.
-in gym class we had to do this thing where you had to sit on the lap of the person behind you..he was going to have to sit ona guy so he asked me to move behind him. hahaha.
-he comes over to talk to me a lot in gym
-he's walked to study with me both times that i've gone the same way as him (i usually go a different way and don't see him)
-in that same activity in gym i had to wrap my arms around his waist so i wouldnt fall (alright, alright..cause i wanted to) and he told my best friend about it later.
-in study i was sharing a seat with my friend who sits next to him so i was between them so i was sitting pretty close to him and i was trying to read his french (i take spanish) and he was laughing and turning red when i talked to him.
-when my friends and i went out to lunch he asked "is maggie..or anyone else coming?" (my name is maggie)
-when my best friend was talking about bio class he started talking about how he did bio homework with me in study. it was completely random..had nothing to do with what my friend was talking about except it had to do with biology..and the story had no point whatsoever.
-he smiles and says hi to me whenever he sees me in the hall
-after study he always walks out with me and walks with my until we have to go different ways.
that's all i can think of right now. please tell me what you think. i think he might but i don't know if he is just being friendly cause we haven't really talked a lot before. (link)
|
Well girl, i think he likes ya. Of course you mentioned all the great stuff that you remember about him so that kind of gives the impression he does. But if a guy acts like that and blushes and talkes about you all the time, well then he's interested. Guys dont do that to just every single girl they meet. Well, that's my opinion. Good luck gurl!!!
4Him, Disciple
|
Hey advicenators! =P
What do you think should be the curfew for a 15 year old girl? I'm asking this because I'm going to the movies with my guy friend and my parents want me home at 10pm. I'm a very trustworthy person and I WON'T have sex with him, that's for sure. He's only a friend. I'm kinda pissed about this because I want to stay out later, but they're strict & say only 10pm. I know I'm lucky because some kids can't even go out with friends yet. But, what do you guys think? Thanks. (link)
|
I think 10 is a pretty good time. Maybe 11 but for now, be thankful you can go at all. They might make it later if you prove over time that you can be trusted. But personally, 10 isn't all that bad!!!
4Him, Disciple
|
|
James told me he likes me. but to me, he seems like more of the best friend type. sometimes i find myself thinking i REALLY like him and sometimes i feel like i just want him to leave me alone. Like when i know he likes me, i dont really care about it, its just like whatever. but then when he doesnt call me or acts like he doesnt like me, i get really worried and start to think i like him. whats going on? i`m so confused with my feelings right now. please help me figure out what it sounds like i`m feeling (link)
|
I can't tell you what you're going through exactly, but i'll sure give you my opinion. I think you're scared of the whole relationship thing honestly. You're afraid of hooking up with this guy when you KNOW for a fact he's interested in ya. You also said you dont know what you're feeling. That's probably because you're trying to decide if you actually like this guy or not. If he seems like a friend type, then keep it at that level. Tell him nicely that you're not interested in that way. I'm sure he'll understand. But if you dont know for sure, dont lead the guy on because that'll end up with both of y'all being hurt. So i think you're basically afraid of what could happen. Stop stressing girl because you'll be fine!!! Maybe even talk to him about what you're feeling. Being honest never hurt. Well, i hoped some of that made sense. Good luck!!!
4Him, Disciple
|
I was having dinner at a friend's house, and some other peole were thare, and we started talking about the dinner before the homecoming dance.
My friend invited a guy to dinner with her, her date, and her friends and family.
Then she suggested that I go as his date, but I said I didn't want to go even though I did. When me and her were talking about this, that guy pretended that he wasn't listening.
Then later on when someone asked him why he wasn't going to dinner with me, he said, "She didn't want to go."
Does that mean that he would have wanted to go with me? And that he likes me? Or was he just saying that?
(by the way, I'm a freshman and he's a junior.)
Thanks. I rate 5's. (link)
|
Personally it sounds like he wanted to go with ya. Usually if a guy doesnt want to go, he'll just say that. But the fact that he said, "She didn't want to go", really sounds like he was sad he couldnt hang out with you. That's my opinion. Good luck girl!!!
4Him, Disciple
|
|
how do u know when your in love or what does love feel like? (link)
|
I think you're in love when you can't get that special someone out of your mind. When you can't go to sleep at nights without thinking of them for awhile. You're in love when you'd rather be with that person then anybody else in the world. It's when you're the happiest. It's when you feel like the whole world is yours and nothing could ever go wrong. I can't tell you exactly what love feels like, but when you experience it, you'll definitely know. It's a feeling that you'll just have to go through. I hope i helped!!!
4Him, Disciple
|
|
Ok so I've known this guy (we'll call him Jay) for about 3-4 months now and I reallllyy like him!! And one of his friends told me the other night that he liked me too and was wondering if I was feeling the same. And Jay asks for hugs from me alot and he really sqeezes me hard and he won't let go for a long time, you know? but I don't know if he's for real or if he's just doing this..and the other thing is his girlfriend from 3 years ago is around him alot..and he dosen't really talk to her but shes REALLy pretty..and he still might like her. maybe not. And today I was really mean to him because I didnt' know how to react to him liking me you know? no hugs, yelled and him, and yea i really regret it now. but i need help on what to do!! i rate 5's!! (link)
|
First of all, i would recommend you going and just apologizing and explaining why you acted that way towards him. I'm sure he'll understand and he'll probably think that you're really sweet so maybe try that. And as for starting a relationship with him, just be patient. Sounds like he'll come to you sooner or later so you dont have to worry. Since you know he likes you, then you dont have to stress about his old girlfriend, even if she is pretty. Just keep flirting as always and he'll come around. I promise. Hope i helped and any more questions, feel free!!!
4Him, Disciple
|
Hey everyone. Well, this topic might come up all too frequently, so my condolences to those of you who are sick of this. Anyway, I'm 14 kinda short for my age, and I have brown hair and blue eyes. There's actually a few people who "feel" for me right now, but 2 of them I think are repulsive, and the other 1 is really only my friend. I've still never kissed anybody...and I'm wondering if maybe I'm just too picky at this point. I have no pride in being prude, if I liked someone who liked me back I'd let them kiss me. And also, the older I get, the worser reactions I get from people when they realized I've never kissed. I know I shouldnt care what they think, but sometimes I do. Also though, most people usually remember their first kiss, and if it's going to be that "big" I dont wanna do it with someone who grosses me out. What should I do?
-There's a lot of smart things people could turn around on this question, so if you want to be "artsy" and have fun being a smartass, you can, but your going to be the only one enjoying your hard work.- (link)
|
First of all 14 is young so you shouldn't feel like you have to rush things anyways. And there's not a bad part to being picky with who you date and kiss. Usually if you're choosy you'll get somebody better anyways. And if people give you a hard time about not kissing, well just totally ignore them. Most likely they kiss whoever and they're sluts so do you really want to end up like that?!?! I wouldn't if i were you. So just think about all that and i dont think you should change anything about who you pick and all. Hope i helped ya!!!
4Him, Disciple
|
|
ok i like my ex-bf's best friend. i think he likes me too. he always flirts with me and we go out on dates together as friends all the time and we have a blast and he always calls me and comes to all my games. i asked him out and he said he only likes me as a friend. i see him everyday and he flirts with me all the time and always wants to be there me. all my friends and his friends think he likes me too. the thing is that my ex-bf doesn't like me that much. one night me, my ex-bf and his friend(the one i like) and some more people all went out to the movies together. i sat next to the kid i like and next to him was my ex-bf. me and the kid i like were flirtin durin the whole movie. my ex-bf saw us and was wicked mad and he yelled at his friend. i asked the kid out acouple days after that. so i think my ex-bf is telling him not to go out with me. so what should i do? (link)
|
Wow, complicated story but let's see what i can do. First of all, talk to your ex and tell him that he has absolutely no right to tell this guy you like certain things. Since you two aren't going out anymore, he can't take over your life. You have to live it yourself. So be honest but nice, ya know what i mean. And about this guy you like, sounds like he's sending mixed signals. So let me get this straight, he's interested but he said you two are only friends??? How about this, just ask him what he really feels if you know he's mature enough to actually answer. Tell him that you two get along really well but you dont know how far he wants to take y'alls relationship. I think if you can just get him talking about it then i'm sure you'll figure out what's really going on. But personally, i think he likes you so dont give up on him!!! Hope i helped ya!!!
4Him, Disciple
|
Well, I like this guy. He's really nice, we talk/flirt alot and everything's going great. The only problem is, he's a senior (im a freshman). I realize that age is just a number, but still. I also don't know if he likes me back. The reason I want to know is because I don't want to waste my time on someone who shows no interest in me. Plus, there's so many other girls that have a way better chance with him than I do. What can I do to find out if he likes me without being annoying or getting "in his face" or pressuring him about it?
Thanks in advance! (link)
|
You might not want to hear this but even though age is JUST number, people mature alot between freshman and senior year. Think about it like this, say you're a senior and you flirt with this freshman guy alot and he's cute and all. You find out he likes you, what do you do??? You're probably going to tell him you like him as a friend because he's alot younger. Usually guys see girls that younger as like little sisters. At least that's how it comes across for me and i'm a freshman. To me this sounds like a crush. I think it would be better for you if you tried to date guys closer to your grade/age. They'll be able to associate more with what you're going through because they'll probably be experiencing the same stuff. I'm not saying to totally give up on this guy because miracles do happen. :) So keep flirting and talking with the guy and i'm sure he'll catch the hint eventually. And another tip, let the guy make the first move. Specially older ones. Just don't give up and you never know!!! I hope i helped!!!
4Him, Disciple
|
I have a problem, I get feeelings for girls more then i do guys. No body knows because i've never told anyone. I just need to know am i a lesbian?
(link)
|
To me it really sounds like it's your hormones and all. Specially if you're younger and you have alot of close friends who are girls and you dont really have a lot of friends who are guys then yeah, you'll probably get those feelings. Just dont let them bother you. Alot of people, especially girls, go through that for awhile. So don't stress about it and i'm sure you'll be fine. Hope i helped!!!
4Him, Disciple
|
ok i liked this guy in 7th grade... and now i'm in 8th grade and he asked me out... i don't like him anymore and (to tell the truth) he's kinda a geek! i know i shouldn't not go out w/him b/c he's a geek... it's b/c i don't like him... i was talking to my friends and they think that it must've taken a lot of courage to ask me that... and it'll probably break his heart if i turn him down... so would this be a good and easy way to let him down?
-right now i don't think i can handle a boyfriend w/volleyball, orchestra, and school because it'd be too hectic. i like you as my friend and i want to stay friends.. but nothing more-
would that be too harsh? (link)
|
Well first of all, going out with somebody you dont like is going to hurt them more than being honest with them. Why? Because you'll get their hopes up and then you'll HAVE to be honest sooner or later. So just tell him that you're really not interested but of course be sweet about it. And just say your life is hectic and he should get it. Yeah, he'll be disappointed and all, but nothing he cant get over. That's life. Well, hope i helped and good luck with that gurl!!!
4Him, Disciple
You an orch dork too!!!! Yay, so am i!!! Sorry, had to say that. :)
|
|
I'm a really self-conscious person and I admit that I am, and I know that it's bad but it's just how I am and people can't exactly change how they are, you know? My boyfriend jokes around a lot with me. We're friends first, and then we're a couple. I've known him nearly all of my life and I grew up with him. He knows that I care a lot about what people think of me. Sometimes, he tells me that I'm fat, but I know that he's just joking because I'm the furthest thing from "fat" and my body is perfectly fine. But sometimes, I don't like it. Him saying that makes me feel self-conscious and almost makes me want to believe it. He says it so often that it hurts me sometimes and I start to believe that he's telling the truth. It's weird that I feel this way when I know that I'm perfectly fine and..I don't know. I don't like it. I don't want to tell him because I know that he'll take it hard and want to apologize like crazy to me, knowing that it hurt me. I don't want to be the one to tell him..and I don't want him to know. But I don't really know what to do. He says it almost everyday and I just laugh and tell him to shut up or tell him that I hate him, jokingly of course, but he doesn't know how I feel about it. He didn't say it today, so maybe I'm just overreacting, but I feel really down after he says it. I know that this is the most ridiculous thing, but I've been thinking about it. What should I do? (link)
|
First of all, don't start thinking differently about yourself because of what he says. What's important is feeling good about yourself. Okay, now for your question. I know telling him will probably hurt him, but sooner or later he's going to have to know or you'll get more paranoid and start to think you're fat. Just sit him down and try to explain that in a relationship, you can't put each other down even if you're joking. It'll just hurt both of y'all because you dont know when to draw the line. I think he should apologize to you for all this so dont feel bad to think that he'll do that. Sounds like a great guy so just be honest and you cant go wrong. I hope i helped and good luck!!!
4Him, Disciple
|
Ok,Theres this guy I like and his name is John. Ok one of my not so close friends went and told him that I liked him right in front of me!!! I was soo hurt and imbarassed. But I did find out that John has a Girlfriend. I don't even look at him anymore! She did this to me like 3 times!! I can't make her stop! Everytime she sees him she goes " HEY John! This girl right here wants to go out with you!" And Im like Oh shit! What can I do. I didn't mean for thingz to happen like this and I can't even look at him without knowin he knows i like him.
Please Help! I will rate all 5's for really good answers! (link)
|
Wow, that's really mean of her. If i were you, i'd sit her down and tell her to stop. Tell her she has no right to tell him personal stuff like that. If you tell her that it's really pissing you off, then she should stop. If she doesn't, dont let it bother you and she'll eventually get tired of it and leave you alone. For the meantime, just ignore her. She's probably doing it just to annoy you so show her it's not working. I really hope i helped and good luck with that!!!
4Him, Disciple
|
How can I get a boyfriend? I'm really shy and don't make friends easily, but I am ready to date and would like to get closer to some guys. I'm going to be 16 in about a month, and I hadnt dated because it hadnt really interested me. Now I am getting more interested and want to find out how I can at least get some sort of relationship with a guy!
Thanks in advance for any help! (link)
|
I know how you feel so don't worry. I think it's great though that you've waited until a later age to start dating. Personally you'll get a better guy but anyways, about your question. Start thinking of all the guys you kinda know and think about their personality, character, and so on. If you think you might be interested, then just start to talk to them. Or if you don't know them very well at all, smile at them and they'll get the hint. For a conversation, just start talking about something you or him might be interested in, doesn't have to be something really big or important, just enough to get him talking. Being shy is hard, but you gotta try to overcome that. Put yourself out there a little. And don't be shy to flirt because guys see that as encouragement to keep talking. So just go out there and meet some guys and i doubt you'll be disappointed.
4Him, Disciple
Sometimes the longer you wait, the better guy you'll get. :)
|
everytime i get a bf i tend to push him away like after a day or two i dont like him anymore
then when i lose him i want him back
why do i always do this why does this always happen (link)
|
Personally, it sounds like either you're not ready for that kind of commitment or you just dont truly like the guy. Maybe get to know these guys a little better before you decide to date them. Find out if you really care about them in that kind of way. You might just need them more as friends then bf's. Take things slower with them and i'm sure they'll understand. Hope i helped ya!!!
4Him, Disciple
|
Alright. I like this guy. Today he told me that he wanted a gf. we are pretty good friends. I wanna tell him how i feel about him. Any suggestions on how i should approach him?
~*Michele~* (link)
|
Usually the best way is to just open up and be honest. Depends if you know for sure if the guy is mature enough but it sounds like it since he wants a gf. If i were you, i'd try dropping major hints and if he doesnt get it, just tell him. Later he'll probably thank you for letting him know lol. You could also just let him make the first move. Takes patience, i know, but that can work really well too. Just take it step by step and it'll work out all in time. Hope i helped!!!
4Him, Disciple
|
|
my bf just broke up wiht me, and i am throwing up cuz of it, and i also can't breath wen im crying. what can i do to help? (link)
|
I'm so sorry first of all. Let me say though, throwing up isn't going to help and it's just gonna make you feel worse. Have you talked to your close friends about this? I know they could help a lot. But remember, there are soo many guys out there. I know it's super hard being dumped but you just gotta get back up and get going again. I'm sure a ton of guys would be lucky to have you. Just remember that and know that he's not the last one!!! Feel better!!!
4Him, Disciple
|
|