cupcake_baby's advice column | cupcake_baby's Advice About Love Life

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Q: 'fingering girl, may have precum on finger, but girl took ipill after the incident....will she be pregnant?

I don't believe she will,but I'm not 100% sure.

Q: I'm 20 and I broke up with my first love a year ago. I loved him with every fibre in my being and did literally everything for him, even if it went against my morals. I spent all the money I had on getting him expensive gifts and I stuck with him, even when he couldn't care less about me. When we broke up because of the fact that he didn't wanna deal with commitment, at this stage in his life, he wasn't upset, not even for a day. It's been over a year and I've been the only one carrying all this pain and I've been holding so much hope that we could get back together, someday. We still see each other and he kisses me and that's what gave me hope that he still likes me. But last night, he told me that he'd never even think of marrying someone like me and that he needs a submissive kind of girl who doesn't pick up on the wrong things he does, like I did.I always picked up on all his lies and everything he hid from me. It hit me all at once, last night that he's been using me this past year and using my vulnerability. I cried in front of him for two hours straight and he kept saying the same things like "You're not my first love so I can't hold that much love for you" and "I told you I didn't want a relationship" "My first made me lose all my emotions" . I don't know why I'm so attached to him or why I'm even this devastated over a jerk like him. I just need someone to talk some sense into me. I worry, that I'll never be good enough for someone. What else can I do for someone to make them appreciate me? I allowed him to cross so many limits of mine and went above and beyond for him, and I get this, in return. How will I expect the next guy in my life to appreciate what I'll do for him and not break my heart again?

First of all,I'm so sorry about everything. And I totally understand how you feel,because I was in almost the same situation before. I've dated a lot of jerks.

But don't for a second think that you'll never be good enough for someone. He didn't realize what he had when he had you. But I can promise you that someone will come along and appreciate you. Someone out there is looking for someone like you,and they'll find you one day.

And I know that right now you're heart broken,and in the worse place possible. And when your heart is broken,it feels like every other piece of you is broken and hurting as well. But you can't let that stop you. Getting your heartbroken by someone is definitely going to hurt like hell,and is worse than any physical pain you can experience. But it's also going to help you. It's going to help you realize what you want in your next relationship and what you don't want.

Q: So I'm 15 and yes I know that I have not experienced real love yet with a boyfriend. When I'm in a relationship I never say I love you first because frankly I don't know how to tell if I even love them, so when they say I love you I just say it back. Which I know isn't right and I should be upfront about my feelings, I just rather not break someone's heart. When do you finally realize what love is and how do you know if you truly actually love someone ? Any advice is welcomed, thank you for anyone who answers my question.

Personally,I think there is no one definition of love.Love is different for everyone.It's also something that can't be described. But trust me,you'll know love when it happens.

Q: How can i make my girlfriend make sex with me

That's just the thing,you can't make her. She has to when she's ready,and you should respect that.

Q: Eyyy. 14/F. So me and my bf have been togheter for a month and a few weeks. I love him a lot. But I also love my friend. He is kind and he plan to kiss me ( my friend) me and my bf havend kiSsed yet!.....* I need help..* what should I do?

Well,I think that you should give yourself time away from the both of them to think it over.Ask yourself such questions as : Which one do I like more?Which one do I love?Why do I love him? Could I see myself in the future with him?If not,why not?

Q: So i like a guy who is a year younger than me. Im going into highschool while he remains in middle school for another year. We're bothsuper mature for our age. We've kissed and madeout several times and im just afriad of next year. I dontwant to leave him. Today he actually came to my house which i live quite a bit out of town where he lives and he just eanted to hangout for a bit. So how will i saw goodbye after when summer ends? i think i might love him:$ ive liked him for a year and a f fewmonths now.

The thing is,if you love him,your not saying goodbye,your just saying see you later.If your both mature for you age,then I think he will understand this.But when you get to highschool,don't forget him.Please don't let another guy get in your head.If you both remember how much you love eachother,then you can make it through.

Q: Ok so I like a freshman. I know it

There's nothing wrong with that.My ex bf is a junior and i'm a freshan.But now there's a senior who likes me and I'm a freshman.
My grandmother always say you can't help who you fall in love with.

Q: I have been dating my boyfriend for a year now and we live together. He is best friends with his ex girlfriend, which whom he talks to every day. They text at all hours of the night and have a very odd friendship. one time I was going through his messages and he had a message from her at 3 am telling him to come over and "cuddle". We have gotten into arguements over this girl many times and I don't know what to do anymore. He cheated on me during the beginning of our relationship so I am of course paranoid. He swears to me they are just friends but my gut tells me other wise. How do I approach him with this or should I let it go?

He dated her 2 years ago and lived with her. I have told him that I don't want him to cut ties with a close friend but I there is nothing I want then for him to cut her off.

Well,I can understand your situation,because I'm also in one similar to yours.
My boyfriend dated his bestfriend,because he felt I was taking to long to decide if I wanted to date him.They did break up,and now we're together.
Then,he almost kissed her,because he claimed she looks like me,but she looks completely different than I do.
But that's not the point.The point is,is that if it's making you feel like this,then I feel you should confront him about the situation,and explain to him how it's making you feel.

Q: What do i do if my boyfriend is four years older than me what do i do?

Well,first of all,age shouldn't matter if you love eachother.
There's nothing you can do about,if your attracted to him.
Sure,he could go to jail but only if your parents have him sent to jail.
Other than that,keep loving eachother.
Check out Rebel Love SOng by Black Veil Brides,or Seventeen Forever by Metro Station,they apply to your situation.

Q: Okay so the other day my boyfriend sent me the song 1,2,3,4 by the Plain White T's. If you've never heard it its like" there's only one thing two say, three words, for you: i love you." Ya you get the point. So anyways, im trying to find a cute song to send him. It needs to be sung by a girl and i prefer fast songs or country. Any suggestions? Thanks:)

Some of my favorites are:
The only exception by Paramore
Breathe by Blacklisted Me
A thousand years by Christina Perri

Q: I'm a 15 year old girl
How do you get over someone?

Coming from someone your age,the best way to get over someone,is time.

It might seem like that's what everybody says,but it's true.As Miss Piggy says "Only time can heal your broken heart,just as time can heal his broken arms and legs."

Music also helps.Some of my favorite artists when it comes to love are : Automatic Loveletter,Hey Monday,Paramore,Taylor Swift,and Maria Mena.

Hope it helps.

Q: So me and my boyfriend have been going out for 3 years. We've had our off and on moments and a lot of it had to do with drug abuse on his side. I really care about him a lot and would leave when he began doing that but would come back when he had been clean for a while and began talking to me again. He finally seeked help and has been doing good for about 4 months. He got into what he wants to do for his profession and I think its helping him stay clean cause he doesnt feel like a loser. We've been long distance for about 2 years now and live about 5 hours away. We are both 22.

Well he came to visit me this week and it was really good for most of it. I felt bad cause I had to work some nights and since we were gonna ride back home together (we are long distance cause im in college) he didn't have a car. Without a car he was stuck at home. But what he wants to do for a career is on the computer anyways and he said he didn't mind and was just glad to see me. The last day is when we started the horrible argument. Something changed with the stocks (what he wants to do) and he was really antsy to get home and kept asking to leave the day early. I realize now that I should have just said okay, but when he first brought it up...it didn't seem like it really mattered. So I reminded him that we made plans with a friend up there for that night. We ended up fighting the ENTIRE day about it. We would argue, one of us would leave the room and then he would come back and hug me and say he loves me. It was like a cycle. But we ended up really getting angry angry and at one point I said wow we must really hate each other or something. I was in no mood to drive that long in the condition i was in.

Anyways, he ended up breaking up with me and said things like long distance is too hard, there's more bad than good, we have too much baggage, and we are bad for each other. I could not stop crying, and I'm extremely embarrassed to say but it seemed like I kept talking him into staying with me. This went on for like an hour. He said after that that he wanted to give it another try. We slept together that night and this morning. He just kept telling me not to think about it and that he loved me. I tried talking to him about it and saying if he didn't want to stay he shouldn't feel like he has to. But he kept saying he wanted to stay and I just take too much reassurance. Then he texted me tonight saying he loved me but stopped responding when I mentioned how sorry I was.

I just really care about him and my prides a little hurt. I wanted another opinion because I don't want to be bad for him at all. But I also don't want to break up and get back together again. It's too much heartache. So my question is really just your opinions on all of this. Thank you so much for any kind of input :/ I hate feeling this way.

Your in a really complicated situation. I know it's hard when relationships are on and off because of ecisions on one side or on both.

But think what's making you stay is that you love him.Or it could be that you just don't want to live without him.And either one of those is understandable.

I'm going through the same thing you are and I'm only 15.But whenever he leaves,I feel like a piece of me and my happiness is gone.

I know right now that it's hard, but you have to make the right decision for YOU.If you feel that it's best to leave,then leave.But my grandad always says "That if you feel something is worth working it out,then by all means do so."

You should really try sitting down with him,and just the two of you talking your whole relationship through.

(Also music helps. This song reminds me of my relationship,and you might relate to it also. Just hold me by Maria Mena.)

Hope it helps.

Q: We've been dating for 10 months and I feel like I don't treat him as good as he treats me. We're in the 8th grade, how can I be an awesome girlfriend?

Your being an awesome girlfriend,because if you weren't,he would probably let you know.Your only in eigth grade so you don't have to worry about being an "awesome" girlfriend.
Just continue loving him,and being there for him,and your being an awesome girlfriend.

Q: I started talking to this guy about a year ago around thanksgiving. We talked for 2 months &i really thought it was going to go somewhere. We texted all day long and hung out when we could. Then out of nowhere when things were going great he just told me he was "busy" and stopped talking to me. I for some reason am infatuated with him. But the thing is he annoys me, gives me anxiety and is boring. Doesn't make sense huh? Haha. Well we randomly text each other but it never is a conversation it's just 2 texts back and forth. I texted him on thanksgiving &it had been awhile and I was starting to move on. We started talking like we had before &it lasted for a week. We would flirt and he would be so nice &then randomly he stopped texting me. I feel completely broken hearted again. I want to move on more than anything but I feel like it's so impossible. I only want him. Part of the reason I can't move on is because I can't not know the reason he stopped talking to me last year was for. &now he did it again. It eats me up inside but I'm too afraid to ask. I don't think that will be the last time we talk I just love him so much. I've had 2 past relationships and the guys were amazing but I can see now I only want this guy. We are both 21 &go to the same college. Any advice on this situation/how to move on? Thank you so much in advance!

(:

I know it's hard to move on in a situation like this.It ruly does take some time to get over it.
But you do need to move on.I've been in a similar situation.I was also scared to ask why he suddenly would stop talking to me.But I wish I would have asked.I found out that he had a girlfriend,so he stopped talking to me all together.If I would have asked him up front I probably wouldn't have been so hurt.
But that happened three years ago,and Ive moved on,but still think about it and feel sad.
But the point of that was to show you that sometimes you have to just be daring and take that chance,to ask.
Whatever the reason for him doing it, it's wrong,and he should not do it.
You should ask him why he is doing it then tell him you can't speak to him anymore.No matter what,on't let him get the satisfaction of knowing you still like him.

Hope it helps.

Q: 19/f
My ex-boyfriend use to make me feel very secure. Always held me and took care of me when I needed it or was stressed. We also had a very romantic relationship and went out all the time. My new boyfriend isn't exactly the same. When i'm with him I love him I sware I do. Our personalities click and everything but I feel like it's at a plateau. He doesn't like spending money and is very cheap. Normally when we hang out were just at my house or his house. I just feel this empty space sometimes and miss my ex. Not to be with my ex, I just miss what we had if that makes sense? I just don't know if what i'm feeling is normal or if it's a sign to move on.

I can understand how your feeling.
Honestly,it might be a sign saying you should move on.It seems like your comparing your current boyfriend to your ex boyfriend,which is possibly causing these feelings.If your comparing the two it might also be a sign that you miss your ex boyfriend.
You should give yourself some time free from the both of them,then see who you like better.It might seem stupid but ry making a pro and con list for the both of them.
You might just miss the things you and your ex boyfriend did.But you also have to remember that their two different guys.Your current boyfriend might not like going out,he might be more comfortable just chilling at home.And if that's true,then you have to respect these feeling.

Hope it helps.

Q: hey guys so my bf n i recently got n in a long distance rela recently and in that time he made some new friends (3 months of friendship only) and in the time i have seen his pics of fb ... there is always this girl that he hangs out with all the tme ... he said thta he is a gud friend of hers ... so i cant even create a big issue out of it ... yesterday he told me he ll be doing a project which he has to run every night .. that means no more talking to him .. during the week days .. n it was already hard to digest that but i was like this is for his career but then today he told me that his 3rd partner is the girl who he hangs out with a lot .. the only prob that i have is that is that he ll be spending more time with that girl .. than with me ... i know tlking on skype can be boring but i am willing to give him that much amoutn of time of my lfe than y cant he ... the pics of him with that girl r like she kissing him on his cheeks or she is leaning on his shoulder ... anyhow ... i dont know what should do i do .. talk to him bout it .. he is surely be like wth its my work ... i cant be selfish but how do i control my feelings? pls help thx

Trust me,I know how it feels.My boyfriend is always hanging with his friend who is a girl but I hate her.She talks more to him than I do and I see him everyday.
I'm not a relationship expert,but I can offer some advice.You should talk to him about her.See if they had any history in the past: if they used to date or like each other.If so,then that's a problem.
Call him up one day and tell him you two need to have a serious and honest conversation.Then bring her up and ask about those two.
I get that it is for his job,and you don't want to be selfish,but in a situation like this,you might have to be.You should tell him about thee situation,expressing your complete feelings on it,then you can possibly tell him to pick you or his job.
It might seem selfish,but it might be what you have to do.And if he picks his job over you,he wasn't worth it in the first place.

Hope it helps.

Q: So my boyfriend is dealing with Depression. he's had trouble finding work for quite awhile now. He had a job for awhile but had to quit it due to the awful commute. He recently got a part time job but with the gas and parking permit he has to have, he doesn't even feel like it's worth it.

We've been together for about 2 years and 8 months now and still don't live together because he lives with his friends and hasn't been able to get a place of his own because of his work problems and I can't help atm because I'm a full time student.

I understand why he's depressed, I just dunno how to help him. It hurts me to see him like this, I wish I could help more but we're in different phases in our lives, a lot of his issues I don't know how to help him much or pull him out of.

Any ideas would be much helpful..

oh and please no one suggest him getting therapy...it doesn't do much good when you can't afford it. Thanks!

In this situation all you can do is be there for him.I suffer depression also and hate when people try to help me get better.But what does help is trying to just be there for him and give him ashoulder to cry on.
When your depressed nothing seems worth it not even life.So he needs someone like you to show him sometimes things re worth it.

Try finding out what caused him to become depressed.

Hope it helps.

Q: 15 year old male i am gay and i have a boyfriend of 4 months we are happy togther and i haven't told anyone that i'm gay especially my parents i'm worried how they will react they are christians i'm not sure how my friends will react we think we should keep quiet for awhile what do you think? i've known for sometime that i like guys i love my boyfriend that is normal isn't it?

Yes.It's totally normal to love your boyfriend.And honestly,I think that you guys should follow your hearts.I'm not really sure if you should tell your parents,but you should tell your friends.And I feel that if they can't accept that,then they aren't truly your friends.And if you do tell your parents,they should also accept you for you.Hope it goes good.Let me know how things turn out please =).

Q: This is some of the things my bf does:

1) When I'm texting/calling someone when I'm with him he asks me who I'm texting/on the phone with.

2) He reads my texts over my shoulder.

3) If I talk to another guy he gets very jealous and upset. We were at a party the other day and I was talking to a guy there off and on and he told me he got very jealous and felt I was ignoring him.

4) He's very jealous of my gay (guy) best friend because we hang out a lot and I've known him for years.

4) If I text him back at a slow pace he gets very angry with me, but if he takes long to text back I'm not supposed to be mad at him..

5) He always wants to do what HE wants to do.

6) We live about an hour from eachother and he always makes me go out there to see him bc he doesnt feel like driving here.

7) If I go out with friends he always, in a mean tone, asks me what I did and for details, etc.

8)If I leave his house and we don't talk for about an hour (through texting) he'll text me to see what I'm doing.

There's more but that's the majority of it....

Heck yea he's controlling.Especially if he gets jelous of your gay guy friend.

Q: Well i am a virgen and My boy friend is one too and he always talks about how he wants to lose it well I said soon and he said how soon and i said whenever (Dumb answer) And he wants to do it in about 4 days Help!!Idont no what to do So plz leave a comment telling me what i should do !!