|
| |
|
I am a single girl in her twenties and joined a ToastMasters Club back in September. I joined the club to help with my speaking skills and self esteem, and also to meet some nice single guys. Well to my disapointment I didnt meet any nice single guys, but I did meet two really nice married ones. They are both the nicest guys, and treat me with respect. The one has 3 boys, and the other guys as far as I know doesnt have any kids. I find myself going to these meetings sometimes just to see these two men. I don't want to have an affair with either of them, or replace their wifes. I just like going because of the way they make me feel. I've had problems with men in the past. My question is am i commititting a sin by liking these guys? I would also like to add that I don't fantasize or lust about them, I just wish that I could be there friends. (link)
| |
You dont have to wish that they would be your friends. By the sounds of things they already are. Like you, many people have had a bad past with men. It's okay to want to have a healthy relationship with someone for once. You dont have to feel like your persuing these married men, adoring their qualities and abilities to respect women is just fine. There is life outside your toastmasters club you know. Maybe men dont ring at your doorbell and say hey I'm a great guy but there are a lot of men out there, like these ones who are taken, that are more than willing to treat a woman right in return for same affection. good luck and keep up the search
|
Just wondering what you other girls may think.
In a guy, is it more attrative if he is shy and sweet. Or if hes confident and secure.
I think I find it more appealing if a guy is sweet and shy. Its adorable in my eyes, what do you think?
-Sara. (link)
| |
Well Sara, my name is Sara too but with an h. I think that guys that it is great that a guy be shy and sweet and confident and secure. The personality flaw comes in when you add the word too next to it. Too shy. If your too shy then your not able to communicate and make relationships. If your too sweet you can be made out to be a pushover. If your too confident then it comes off as cocky. And if your too secure you can be unaware of dangerous things. So there you have it an adorable guy just needs a little bit of balance, too much is too much.
|
sorry this is long...
I love my boyfriend, i really do and we have a great relationship but im still very good friends with my ex. me and my ex have been together 4 other times and whenever we are together we flirt like crazy and he always tries
to put hims arms around me, or find a way to be close to me. I feel guilty because i love my boyfriend so much, but i feel like i have little "feelings" for my ex. I wouldnt leave my boyfriend for my ex, because my boyfriend and i have to much and hes an amazing guy, but i have dreams about my ex and think about him alot. whats my problem? i also always wanna just kiss him and have him hold me and be with me. i feel soo bad! what am i sopose to do. i tried to talk to my boyfriend, but that doesnt go well AT ALL. what should i do?!?!? thanks in advance (link)
| |
Do you spend a lot of time with your ex? Usually the thing you do the most (or the person you spend the most time with) is the topic of your thinking. If you spend more time with your boyfriend you will probably be thinking about him as aposed to your ex. Even if you still find yourself thinking about your ex it's okay as long as you dont act on your fantacies. Remember the saying "You always want what you can't have" well my lady. I'm sure you could have him if you wanted but not without losing or cheating on your boyfriend. It's not my place to tell you whether you love him or not but for his sake (his heart, his pride) don't do anything with your ex. As a matter a fact I think it's best you don't hang out with him too too much. You will either develope feelings for him again or simply make your boyfriend suspicious or jealous. Just ask yourself, why did you and your ex breakup? Do you really want to go there again? That's it. Sure you'll do the right thing.
|
|
ok...i am dating this guy ...have been dating for ...7 months now and i like him....i am really young and so is he...i am 14 and he is 16..... he dont live in my town but he comes to see me and my dad and my brother every weekend..... he gets very mad and upset when he cant c me when he wants ... hold me or touch me ..... well i like him ...and i really dont want to hurt him and i dont want to lose him.......but he is wanting to run away and try to make it on our own........ hes family is very welthy so he has the money to run away .... and he is saving up ..... i dont want to run away .... i want to finish school and make a something of myself... not having to lean on him for everything...i want him to finish school and to make something of hiself 2!..... but i dont want to hurt him by saying i dont want to run off with him... what can i tell him ? ........... ps..... plz dont tell me that i am to young to b dating or anything like that ..cuz that isnt really helping me at all!!! (link)
|
You have 3 choices:
1) "run" away with him
2) dont run away see his reaction
3) break-up with him
If you choose number one that doesn't mean you can't finish school. If he's really willing to pay for your way and your not worried about being away from family.
If you choose number two you might have to tell him why not (what you told me would be perfect) or be forced to choose
Number three.
Those are your options, pick one (not number one but one of the three)
Good Luck Darling, persue your dreams.
|
|
So we went out with people and the guy that i like was going too. Me and my freind showed up eairly than the other girls and the guy i likelove was there too, so we were hanging out n stuff and he was being sooo cute to me. Then he saw that the other girl showed up and completly left me, and he liked her the whole time he led me on. and now im like dying and its sooo hard. Any ideas to get over it. (link)
| |
Well yes, he was leading you on. He'd prefer to call it flirting which is a kind of confidence boost. So there it is. You rule he drools. Find someone more like you who doesnt want to use you to make them selves feel better. Find a guy who is generally comfortable with himself and you will be the one reeping the benefits. If he doesnt treat you good then he isnt worth it. Isn't that what a boyfriend is for???
|
What age do you think is the best for having a first boyfriend? :)
(link)
| |
Each person matures at a different age/stage. It all depends on the person. However, you don't want to be introduced to intamacy at too young of an age not only will be you exiting childhood way too early but once your 'innoscence' is gone you can't get it back. You have to be an independant individual before you can take on any other roles in society. Personally I think that fourteen is ideal for having a boyfriend. Statistically, adolescents begin have boyfriends anywhere from ages 8-17, wide variety. Usually the ones who have boyfriends earlier (8-13) tend not to be really serious, just curious. BYE!
|
|
No i havent jumped into anything and we have no plans of a relationship or anything. We just talk a lot cuz we can talk anytime plus online but its just weird for me. sometimes i fall easily but not like this. it seems like i fell pretty hard already and it kinda sucks. ive never felt this way about someone i havent seen or talked to in so long cuz its like havin a crush on someone i dont know and i have no idea how to react to it. =/ (link)
| |
Well you know what. I used to fall hard and fast. When I first got into the dating game I always went too fast and ended up tripping countless numbers of times. Its okay though because as you mature you begin to understand the expression learning from your mistakes. Thats all it is really. I was under the immpression that you were planning on 'seeing' this bloke. That's what happens when your answering a question with, in speculation, little detail. Ok, you do like him though I presume from talking on the phone, msn w/e. Its okay to have a crush on someone you dont really know because its only a crush. Those come and go over time and maybe now how your feeling is a way that you haven't felt before. You have to keep in mind as well that different people send different vibes so of course its not going to feel the same. Just don't get sucked under.
|
|
ever since i started walking to school there have been these 2 girls who always say hi to me and i never really thought anything about it until one of them asked me out and at first i wanted to go out with her but then somthing inside me told me she's bad news and i dont know if it's because im neverous i dont know if it's because ive seen her smoke a few times i dont know what it is but could someone please help me i dont know what to do. (link)
| |
Obviously your problem is that she smoke's. It's the only thing you mentioned. Is it really inside of you? Is it like a vibe because sometimes they are bogus because we are thrown of by media images. Maybe you don't think smoking is healthy and you wouldnt't take it up. Thats her choice however, if it really bugs you that she smokes you can either chose not to see her or explain your consern in a mannerly way as not to discriminate and request she doesnt smoke in your presence or in the a confined space. Props.
|
|
There is a guy that I was friends with 8 years ago when i was little and i moved and since then i hadnt talked to him or seen him... up until a week and a half ago. i dont know why but i seem to have feelings for him already even though its been so long. We've talked every day in the past week and a half and hes a really nice and sweet guy and he told me he sorta likes me too... hes supposed to come to visit so i can see him again soon. i dont know how to act and even if we did really hit it off he doesnt think it would work since hes lives 5 hours away by car.. it really sucks and im supposed to be going down to my grammas(that lives 2 minutes away form him) this summer for 3 weeks and were planning on spending time together and other times between now and then but i have no idea what to say or how to act when i see him again for the first time and im really nervous. help please (link)
| |
Too much too fast is asking for disaster. Don't go out of your way to see him too often. You knew each other 8 years ago, that's a real long time. People change a whole lot in that amount of time. You don't have to be nervous he's just like any other guy, just one you haven't seen for a long time. Picture him as your cousin from Ohio, or something. Your not jumping into a relationship right away, are you? I hope not. The best way to go when your not really sure what to do, or how to act is to have something planned. Like a movie, dinner, swimming w/e That way you have your time planned together not just hanging out. Maybe you wont have much to talk about but you'll have something to do rather than having nothing to do and nothing to talk about. Have fun.
|
14/f
i like this guy, i'm pretty sure he likes me too. but today i wa son myspace and this other girl was super flirting with him. he was also talking to her like he talks to me. i was really hurt by that because it feels like he's playing both of us. but i want to win him over and get him to stop thinking about this other girl. how can i make him like me way more than her? what are some things i could do? (link)
| |
Sounds like Jealousy to me. Don't try to overdo it. You might come off deseperate or slutty. Just act normal. Find things you have in common and get him interested. Also approach him with witt and humour. Guys love it. Dont try to make him look dumb and dont say things about the other girl because you will look immature. It can hurt sometimes when guys flirt, exspecially the ones you like. Truth is guys like to feel sexy or wanted so they flirt to get girls to say hot things to them. Try to compliment him in a sophisticated way. Good Luck.
|
|
okay well i met this guy like .. 2 months ago .. well i had been VERY hurt before & to b perfectly honest.. i didnt have much interest in this kid i was mad & wanted to leev my house so i told em to come get me liddle did i kno wat was happening.. well we ended up hittin it off we were perfect for eachother.. weird eh? .. well we ended up kissing & it just all felt right.. well still i was worried of my image at school cuz it was liek a complete random hook up & wat not.. well we ended up gettin together.. & all was GREAT i loved being with him & he always said the right things & wat not well one night to much liquior & sweet talkin led to sex.. i was SO SO SO scared to open up like i HAD A HUGE TALK with him the night before & hes liek u gota trust me babe im different i promise.. & i bought it all well next day.. we broke up i culdnt figure it out he swore he stillw anted to b with me he juss needed to think i culdnt figure out wat i did that was oh so wrong but i dont kno.. well he invited me over that night nothin reallty changed we still kissed & stuff.. school eh okay i guess kinda embaressed but okay i guess well we spent the next month off & on till i got so fed up with i ignored him more & more then one random night he came back & told me he wanted to b together & he was really sorry bout it here we go again all up hill.. he called em everynight & called me baby & there i was fallen again.. & i was so ready to be his.. well i went to his house a few days later.. & he told me he was in love with me i didnt say anything i thought he was jokin but i juss sat there so he walked off then no lie 5 minutes later & he told em he didnt like me at all.. so there i was cryin hurt cunfused & it didnt get much better a few calls & kisses still back to the start,, well then it got good again sorta.. we were supposed to hang out & i was so totally happy all day a HUGE smile ! well then he text me & said dotn ever talk to me again... & supposevly one of my guy friends said i promised i wuldnt talkt o him & now he wont talk to me & he said "i want nothin between us juss friends i cant deal with you" so i spent the entire night cryin i didnt go to school i culdnt face him i cant let go im stuck i have no idea wat im doing so wrong && i love him alot .. i really do it sounds dumb but i do & he was juss in a long relationship & the girl broke his heart so i feel terrible liek i cant amount to her i wana juss show him i love him & i wana b okay.. but i cant.. & i kno he'll coem back but i cant do it again & he leaves at the end of the year .. so im screwed i just wish i never met him.. im sorry this is long but i need someone out there to help me.. & sayin "get ocver it" wont work ive tried so so so hard.. i love him i need something better.. thanx....... (link)
| |
This guy seems to be confused, which is leading you to be confused. Woah. That's a lot of off and on. It can't be healthy, your going to get sick. He keeps jerking you around. I know you've heard it so many times before, "get over it" and you're right, it's not that easy. You should talk to him and ask him why he keeps pushing you aside and then changes his mind, over and over. Let him know that it is hurting you and how mind boggling it is. He will either want you back, turn you away or feel bad and just want to be your friend. You're going to have to be prepared for all of them. Love is a silly thing but you know what if he really loved you he wouldn't do what he's been doing. Try not to dwell on it too long if things stay sour, theres nothing worse than a broken heart. Good luck.
|
|
I'm in 8th grade and in november I dated this kid in 7th grade. It was cool, it lasted for a month. But than he dumped me for like no reason. Then the night after that he called me back, begging for me to take him back, and I didn't. Now its been about 2 monthes, and he likes me again. HOw am I am going to deal with this? (link)
| |
How are you going to deal with it? Well you either like him or you don't. I take it you must have before otherwise you wouldn't have gone out with him in the first place. If you blow him off and he still likes you then dont let it bother you because it feels good to be wanted. Don't treat him badly though because that's a major turnoff. If you still like him then why not go for it again, its not like your going to get married. Make sure he treats you good. If you dumps you again for no apparent reason then do waste any further time on this ammature. Good luck.
|
Hi,
I have a dilemna. I have been dating someone for 9 months now.. he is in the UK and Im in Canada. Things are great between us. We get our usual squabbles now and then, but wat couple doesn't. Neways recently I had called him up at his work and asked for him. I got his father on the phone and he repeatedly told me to stay away from him becuase of so called caste differences. I am Hindu Punjabi and he is Hindu gujrati. I have mentioned this talk to my bf. and he told me not to worry about it and that he will sort things out.. but wat I don't get is why does everyone I get involved have this same attitude about caste and or religion. It is really frustrating.. Why can't parents just accept it and be happy for him/her. Any thoughts on that? and..how can I just egnore his father's words like that.. It hurts me alot.. for him to think like that.. I have never seen him in person nor does he know my personality.. I just don't get it (link)
| |
Not everyone is open minded. Even more so parents when it comes to their offspring. Parents want to be in control, exspecially ones that arn't open minded and don't realize that their offspring are seperate beings with seperate morals and values. Like you said, his father doesn't know you all, all he knows is that you're different from him and he can't accept that, which is his problem, not yours. Do you care that your boyfriend is Hindu gujrati? I don't think he cares either, side's you're not dating his dad. Just ignore the ignorant.
|
|
two years ago i started going out with this boy he was 15 i was like 16 i didnt really like him that much we had sh together in school and he would always sit behind me and pass me these pieces of paper that said things like your hott and whats your phone number i just thought he was a funny guy. well that summer we got closer and started dating. after a month i broke up with him bc i didnt think i liked him anymore, but things didnt end alltogether we became friends w benefits. then he started dating this other girl who im now best friends with. they recently broke up and now she has a diff bf. fri the 13th he asked me over and we had sex again. its been like 13 days and i havent heard from him and we havent talking in school either. what should i do or say to him? (link)
| |
Personally, friends with benefits is not the way to go. Second off he just broke up with someone, be it your best friend or not, he's just looking for some rebound action. I don't see you going anywhere with this guy who isn't frankly worth your time. So you had sex, egh? Wow that's deep. Unfortunatly, I don't think he feels the same. Don't allow him to think that he can just have you when he wants you, either make him work for it or just up a quit.
|
|
