_fLyAwAYy_'s advice column | _fLyAwAYy_'s Advice About Love Life

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Q: I love my boyfriend dearly and everthing and I mean everything is going great and I am as happy as ever. But somehow I just feel like something or someone is gonna break us up...Like somethings gonna keep us apart... It makes me feel depressed...Maybe I feel this way because whenever I was in a relationship a guy, he never took it seriously...could this be why? and if it isn't then why do i feel this way?
Thanks in advanced :)

well, yea, insecurity happens a lot when past relationships or jobs down work out. in skool i wus learning about edgar allen poe and all of the women in his life kept dying, from his mother, to his adopted mother, to his wife and so on. also his jobs wouldn't work out. so then he went to interview at the whitehouse for a high position job and he ended up selling magazines there because he sort of had this sub concious thought that he could not be happy or succeed at anything. well the best way to deal with that kind of thing is to just know that there is nothing threatening your relationship. if u keep remembering that then you just have to tell yourself that its only you then maybe it'll put urself at ease. good luck!!
})i({ stefy

Q: okay well there is this guy that i like s0o0o0o much and i dont know what to do bc he likes this othere gurl...i see him everyday and he just makes me soo happy...i ahve liked him for a really long time now but i dont know how to tell him bc i dont wanthim to feel different around me..uhg please help me!!

thats a classic situation. i hav a friend who (for a while) felt da same way but its about her good friend. i think dat u shouldn't tell him. confrontation iz not always da best way cuz, like u said, he may act weird around u cuz he knows dat u like him. that wud scare him off if he's sorta unsure about his feelings 4 u (especially if he likes another gurl!). hang around him, do stuff wit him and maybe he'll change his mind and hav a crush on u. see how he acts around u. watch out 2 see if he's flirting ;) but its probably not da best idea 2 make da first move (unless ur pretty sure dat u both feel the same way). good luck!
)}i{( stefy

Q: alright...there are 4 guys you need to know about in this story: Nathan, TJ, Michael, and David.

1.Nathan is my boyfriend of about 2 months. i liked him for almost a year before we started going out.

2.TJ is one of my best friends. I love him so much, and he really likes me (that way). He left our school on thursday though. Now he's homeschooled. i cried for 2 days. (he's coming back next semester, i just found out!!)

3.Michael is a friend that i liked, and he used to like me. Now he has a girlfriend, but we've both said that if we both have problems with our relationships, we'd probably go out.

4.David is also one of my best friends. He also likes me, and we're always hugging. so many people think we go out and it's annoying.

ok...now here's the thing: i might like the last 3. i don't know what to do...i've been thinking about breaking up with nathan, but i might change my mind after i do! I can't really go out with TJ, even though i think i really want to...because i'm friends with his ex (they went out for 6 months), and she still likes him, knows he likes me, and hates it. I can't go out with David, because my best (girl) friend really likes him. And michael's taken...for now.

so now that i have thoroughly confused you, take a moment to make some sense of all this, and then tell me what you think!

please! i'm so confused!

i think (for da time being) stay wit nathan. i no dat ur probably thinkin "wut! but there r three other options!", but, according 2 u, those wud just b dead ends. stay wit nathan until thins change. if u liked him 4 a whole year b4 goin out wit him, it won't be horrible to hang on for a lil longer. ur friend will stop liking david, or michael will break up wit his gf. maybe TJ's ex will go out wit sum1 else and stop liking him. but there's nothing u can do but wait, unfortunately. until sumthin changes den just sit bak and hang out wit ur friends and do stuff wit nathan. good luck! :)
)}i{( stefy

Q: ok this might be long but plz help...ok well this guy asked if i wanted to go to the movies with him and i said yes, but i thought we were goin as friends..then the next day my friend sent me a message and said congrats u goin out with *** i said what! were just gonna go to the movies...so then i texted ***** and i said u know were not goiun out,,@@@ said that we were, what diod u tell her, and he replied well she thought right i like u and i was gonna tell u when we got to the movies no matter what u were gonn a say, and he asked if i wanted to go out, i told hgim i dont really want a bf right now, sry, and then he got mad now he wont return my calls are answer my messages what do i do

if he can't except dat u don't like him the way he likes u or dat u don't wanna go out wit ANY1 den dont sweat it. he's just being bery immature and not being cool about ur feelings. sry 2 make him sound so bad, but u probably shud just 4get about it. its not rilli ur problem dat he's bein dat way. but if u still feel guilty, give him a few days 2 vent. let him cool down and then tlk 2 him. explain how ur feeling 2 him and hope dat he'll understand. tell him dat u guys don't hav 2 be dating 2 hav fun 2gether and invite him 2 go do sumthin. hopefully he'll be OK wit it. (not 2 be mean but...)if he's not ok then i guess he's just not such a good friend :( i hope that thins go well!
)}i{( stefy

Q: How can I meet a guy just out of the blue? I do not want to make it look like it was planned or anything cause that doesn't really work...i've tried
But anyways all my friends are telling me "you can have any guy you want...your so pretty...da da da da da....
And it gets me annoyed cuz that is so not true. It feels like I never have an opportunity to go out with someone. So I am going to take a chance.
How do I just meet a guy?

well, its kinda hard 2 just "meet a guy" but u cud do it :) anyways tlk 2 guys at ur skool. maybe become friends wit some. guys usually won't just come up 2 u and say "hey wanna go out" and u'll be like "uhh, who r u?" :P so get 2 no a guy u think is nice and cud maybe like u too. hang out in a lotta public places where u cud get 2 no ppl. good luck!!
)}i{( stefy

Q: i like this girl. but she has a bf. i think she likes me. but im not sure., she told me im hot. i think she was kiding. so what sould i do.

thanks.... p.s. peace

well, maybe she duz like u? or like u said maybe she wus kidding? hang around her and see if she flirts or not. but don't make any moves while she's dating cuz dats not cool. if she and her bf evry split then u cud do sumthin if ur gettin a good feel frum her. but first (if ur not already) become good friends wit her. good luck :)
})i({ stefy

Q: aight there's this guy i've liked ever since summer. we were going out but then we stopped talking for a long time.. like 2 months? so i figured he forgot about me and didn't care, and i moved on. but then i found out why we hadn't talked, he had to go away for an emergency, and he wants to be still together with me, but i dunno if thats a good idea because we'll never get to see each other and we go to different schools. any advice?

well, first off it wusn't ur fault dat u moved on, cuz u didn't no where he wus. maybe now ur interested in another dude cuz u were lookin while he wus gone. it all depends on the other guys that there mite be. if at ur skool, there r sum possible guys dat u mite wanna be wit den maybe goin out wit sum1 who goes 2 a diff skool izn't such a good idea. also (not sayin dat this guy iz this way) he cud see girls at his skool dat he may like better and flirt cuz "u'll never no". look at other guys b4 makin ur choice. maybe u cud go out wit him 4 a while and if thins just rn't workin out den end it :)
)}i{( stefy

Q: hey, well, about a year ago, this random guy IMed me, and he and I have become good friends after that. Well, his name is Will. And when we first started talking, he had a g/f.I started to like him a lot, and his g/f absolutely hated me. She kept thinking that I would take Will away from her.Ever since she started thinking that, I tried to stay away.(getting new s/n and never talking to them again)Well, he ended up finding my new sn, and I just let it go, and we started talking again. His g/f finally asked me my # so we could three way. So, I let in and gave it to her.We started talking all the time after that. And just recently they broke up. While they were going out, I had a b/f. And then he dumped me after about 3 months.(that was the 2 time we went out)Well,Will called me about a week ago, and told me that he was so happy that he and his g/f broke up.and then he told me that he really liked me.Well...i got anothe b/f, let's call him "JC", and he's my friends ex-b/f. now she's all pissed at me. one day i was talking to Will's friend. and now Will's friend keeps saying to dump JC and go out with him.so now, Will and his friend are mad at each other, and i feel like it's my fault. So, Will called me last night and said " what if i figured out your address?" and i got kinda scared. cause, i know how dangerous it could be.What am i supposed to do?! Will and his friend are mad at each other, and my friend is pissed at me,and Will has my address. Please help. And sorry it's so long.
-jena

wow, dats rilli dangerous. he got ur adress?? and u've tlked 2 him on da phone? sry but hav u ever met him? anyways, if ur friend iz pissed at u about u datin her ex den tlk 2 her and tell her dat u didn't no dat he wus still off limits and u thought that she wus cool about breakin up wit him. so it wusn't technically ur fault. about will and his friend fighting, get them on a three way call and tlk thins out wit dem. tell will's friend dat ur confuzed and u don't no if dumping "JC" is such a good idea cuz u don't rilli no Will or Will's friend in person. About the adress thin, i dunno wut u can do...its not like u can say 2 ur parents "Uhhh, i met sum1 online and now they no my adress so we gotta move, ok?". maybe it wud be best not 2 tlk 2 will anymor, even though that sounds sad. but if he no's ur adress, he cud come after u or sumthin. i hope all ur problems get solved!!
)}i{( stefy
p.s. write mi wit anymor info that u mite hav cuz i'm not sure if i got all da info straight :)

Q: A couple of weeks ago I met a guy at my best friends party. Lets call hym "a" Hes so hot and so nice but he kept checking me out. Since we were in a limo everyone was giving lap dances to regeaton music. I gave one to a guy and then "a" wanted one from me. But then I found out he has a girlfriend AND I know who she is. So I didn't give him one because it didn't seem like the right thing to do and I would have felt guilty...so he was like darn. But now I find myself liking him. He has broken upp with his gf and i know I have the opportunity but he just seems like a real player to me and I don't want a guy like that. After all he wanted a lap dance from a girl when he has a gf! And he was like well she doesn't have to know...wouldn't you be hurt if you were his gf? And please don't give me advice "well thats the way guys are" or "alot of guys will do that" because that is sooo not true. I just don't know what to do...He doesn't know I like him and I'm not sure if I want him to because...idk..I just can't resist...I want to like him..I just don't wanna get hurt..but I wanna be happy too..
xo0x confused x0ox

i think dat u shud look at other dudes. a lotta guys rn't dat way. don't go 4 da playa types cuz u'll just end up gettin hurt if he duz thins like dat (askin 4 a lap dance iz proof). maybe he likes u. maybe he just wanted a lap dance. who knows? anyways, i tink dat if u go wit him thins will just end up turnin bad. maybe he'll cheat on u? maybe he'll check out another gurl? i no if it were mi and i found out dat my bf wus doin thins lyk dat, i wud b majorly hurt. look at other guys!! there r a lotta guys out there dat r nice and want 2 be wit U and no1 else :)
)}i{( stefy

Q: theres this guy named zack and hez 1 yr olda than me so my parents hav no probs wit him. Ne wayz, we went out once but we both agreed to break up because we had just met eachotha the day he asked me out. Well, now i like him A LOT again but he already has another gf. But i still realli like him and i think that if he knew he might tell me he likes me too, but im too afraid to tell him cuz he'z a jock and if he dont like me he'll tell everyone and ill feel stupid. What should i do?? ThnKs in return.. xo' Jess

well, first ov all, don't make any big moves while he has a gf. dats just not cool. but thins lyk becomin betta friends wit him and hangin out as friends iz cool. its actually a good idea 2 do dat. maybe then he'll start 2 lyk u mor than the gurl he's datin now. don't tell him about how u feel if ur not gettin good vibes frum him about u. its also easy 2 think he's into u if thats wut u want 2 happen. but u gotta rilli try and b honest wit urself. but don't tell him dat u lyk him while he's in a relationship. if they break up and he's cool wit it and not hurt then u cud tell him. don't b afraid dat he'll tell ppl, cuz if he duz then u cud say thins lyk "i did like him but now dat he's makin it such a big deal, he's not so hot anymor" and don't let it get 2 u. i hope thins work out!!
)}i{( stefy

Q: i've just made my bestfriend hella mad any general advice to make everything better?

well, first off u need 2 give mor info cuz i dunno wut da situation iz. but i'll try anyways. give her a couple ov days 2 vent. if after a while she duzn't cool off, try tlkin it out wit her and explain y u did/ said the things u said 2 make her mad. hopefully dat will help thins out. try and do damage control in anyway u can.
)}i{( stefy
p.s. write mi wit mor info and i cud give u a better answer :)

Q: well im not sure if i can say i like him.. but i have feelings. His name is Chris and i always see him in school and he usually looks at me when we are passing eachother in the halls. theres just something about him that , i dont know hes just my type. well the other day i took my friends bus and he was on it and when i looked back at him he was looking at me like in the eyes. one of his friends sits in back of me in my study and he sits alone so should i say somethin to him? i was just going to say sumthin to chris but we like dont know eachother.. and i dont know how to talk to him and i dont want to soudns weird.. id take my friends bus and what should i say when i first talk to him, should i sit near him and smile and say hir os tumhin or ask him if hed wanna hangout? i dunno:-/thankss

well, i no wut ur tlkin about cuz i sumtimes feel da same way. sumtimes i see dudes lookin at mi and i hav no idea wuts goin thru they're head :P but anyway, i think u shud say hi to him or ask him 4 a pencil or sumthin in class just to give u an excuse 2 tlk 2 him. then say hi 2 him in da halls. i no a lot ov ppl think dat guys rn't afraid 2 hav da courage 2 tlk 2 sum1. but dats not tru and a lotta guys don't hav it in dem 2 tlk 2 gurls cuz ov the same reason we're afraid 2 tlk 2 guys. so try 2 become his friend and get closer 2 him. den maybe u and ur friends and his friends (make it not a date!!) go 2 the movies or da mall or wutever to get 2 no him even better. i no i say dat 2 a lotta ppl but its a proven fact dat it helps :) also, take ur friends bus and, wen u no him betta, sit next 2 him on da bus. the key 2 sparkin anythin iz (lyk i said) gettin closer 2 him. hopefully that'll give u courage 2 tlk 2 him :)
)}i{( stefy

Q: I sometimes feel the need to have a relationship, like my self-esteem is really low because I believe I need one (like a serious one)... is this normal? what should I do?

i no how u feel...it rilli duz hurt ur self asteem wen ur not in a relationship wit sum1...but u'll get over it and eventually sum1 will be interested in u trust mi. meanwhile concentrate on friends, activities and skool. there's always mor 2 life than bein wit sum1...its just easy 2 4get dat sumtime :)
)}i{( stefy

Q: ok i'm 14 and a female. there is this guy in my alegbra class that sits across from me that i like a lot but he doesn't know it. we are always talking and flirting. everyone in that class tells us that we make the perfect couple and that we should go out. today my friend lori asked him that if he that to chose someone in the classroom to go out with who would it be and he said me!! i really like him and i think he likes me too he said that he liked me like a friend but i don't know. so plz help!!

well, if i get this, it seems dat he rilli duz like u. don't just flirt wit him in class anymor. ask him to go 2 the movies or da mall wit u and ur friends and his friends. its a rilli good way 4 it 2 not b a date and 4 u 2 get 2 no each other EVEN MOR. then read his eyes and body language wen he tlks 2 u. i'm serious! it rilli helps 2 c if he lyks u r not. if after a while he still duzn't make a move, then starts hinting subtly. u cud also go 4 da direct approach and say "dude, do u like mi or not?" but most ppl don't lyk dat 1 :)
)}i{( stefy

Q: hey i just found out that my ex boyfriend has a new gf. they've been going out for a few weeks now i guess. no one told me until the other day. everyone knows how much he meant to me and ever since he dumped me ive been feeling sad. i dont know if i want him back anymore b/c he lied to me and told me we could go out again in second marking period and that he just wanted to be single and thats it for awile. i know that him and this girl wont last long. all of my friends have totally different advice on what to do in this situation. what do i do? please anyone who has any advice IM me anytime on miZZcHeRRyCoKe36 ~13 fm tepy~ thanx so much!

if this guy lied to u, maybe he's not such a good catch. i no u can't shake the feeling of sadness away, but if he lied to u and then got 2gether wit another gurl, then maybe he's not worth it. or to take another side (to give ur ex the benifit of the doubt) maybe he just rilli needed sum tym away frum u to get his head bak 2gether. maybe he got 2gether w/ this girl cuz he wusn't sure if u'd take him bak after he dumped u and he wus tired ov being alone. maybe he wus just tryin 2 try this girl out to c if she wus meaningless and he still liked u (even tho that sounds totally cruel). well, i hope answers come to u soon!
)}i{( stefy

Q: I'm 15 and female and I've never kissed a guy. I go to an all-girls Catholic high school, and I haven't kept up with ANY of my very few guy friends from when I went to co-ed schools.

*reads question, cringes at own stupidity*

So . . . how can I meet new people? I have a lot of really great friends, but it would be nice to meet some new people, and possibly get a boyfriend.

Any ideas?

i think that u shud do things lyk hanging out at the mall, or going to a club or join a youth group...i happen 2 be catholic even tho i go 2 regular skool. doing things that involve a lot ov ppl give u a high chance of meeting sum1! xox
)}i{( stefy

Q: Okay..well i really like this one guy. online he says he really likes me and he would probably go out with me. a long time ago online..he was talkin to me and he said he only goes out with gurls he REALLY likes and i think it was the next day, he asked a girl out and they have been going out for a while. that got me kind of mad cuz he said he likes me and only goes out with pple he likes a lot and it takes a long time for him to like someone. well anyways him and his gf.. it seems like they are never apart. i think they really like each other..but he kinda flirts with me while hes going out with her..hes nice and when i call him hes always like whats up? and hes nice to me and at school he looks at me a lot and like hits me as a joke when he walks by and stuff...and idk if he really likes me. he could just be lying or kidding..but i really like him a lot. and idk what to do. him and his gf have been going out for like 4 months i think.. idk im confused and i really like him..idk if he really likes me tho. Sorry so Long!! any help would be appreciated :) thanks.. 13/f

well, if he's going out wit sum1 he's sorta off limits. tlk 2 him a lot and see wut kinda vibes ur getting frum him. but there's rilli noting u cud do cuz u can't start seeing him while he's dating sum1. u cud always try the direct approach and just ASK him if he lyks u...but remember he is seeing someone else so maybe dats not da best choice! keep ur eyes out 4 other guys and don't put all ur money on him. but if he ever gets open again then u can make ur move!
gud luck!
)}i{( stefy

Q: ok well theres this guy i have been liking for a while, lets call him b*. well he started talking to me like 3 weeks ago and we've been cool ever since. he's been giving me hugs, saying hi to me around school n stuff. he's always asking me for gum lol cause im the "gum lady." he seems to be a real sweetheart. well this last week, we were partners in class and he was like touching all up on me and he told me he likes me n stuff. he was asking me all these questions and just being very "friendly." he asked me if i like him and i said yes, and he seemed very happy about that. he gave me his number and told me to call him, so i did and it didn't seem like he wanted to talk to me. and now around school he doesn't give me hugs anymore.. when i talk to him it seems like he doesn't care or whatever. i went to the homecoming football game and i talked to him and he just like didn't listen to anything i said and he was a real jerk to the guy friend that i brought. do you think he still likes me, and why might he be acting all weird?

thanks
xoxo

well, guys say that girls are emotional. but the truth is that a lot of guys have weird mood swings that they think they're too tuff to show. (no offense dudes!!) well, it seems that this guy does like u if he said dat he lyked u, but maybe he has pressure from friends or he's shy cuz he duzn't no how 2 act around u anymor now dat ur mor than just "friends". tlk 2 him and ask him wut his deal iz...that shud give u sum mor answers. read his eyes to tell u if he's lying about thins or not...it works!

Q: hi, i'm in a long distance relationship with a guy cuz he moved away and i rilli do like him a lot...but there's this guy at my skool who is rilli cute and funny and nice and i think i'm startin 2 hav a crush on him...should i keep my relationship with the guy who lives here or with the one who's far away?

well hunni ur in a tuf position. it all comes down to u...the guy who lives by u maybe much easier to hav a relationship wit cuz he's rite by u. but da ques iz do u lyk him mor dan da guy who moved? hang around da guy who lives by u and c if he's into u da way ur into him...den make ur choice :)
)}i{( stefy

bio

heYy yALl, mah name iz stephanie .:stefy or stef 4 short:. umm, i luv 2 give advice and i'm pretti good at it, so ask mi any ques u want! I luv to dance! .:hip hop n jazz:., sing, act .:plays:., horsebak ride!!.:english or western but i like english betta:., sports .:soccer, tennis, volleyball, swimming, etc:. and hang out wit mah friends .:u guys noe who u r!!:. so i hope dat gives u a lil info on mi! xox :)
})i{( stefy