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September 4, 2011Answers:
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Hey guys :)My name is Megan, I'm 22 years old, and I live in Brownwood, Texas! I am engaged to a wonderful man who just takes my breath away. ;) I'm an EKG Tech and I LOVE my job. I had a column here YEARS ago, but simply cannot remember the log in :)
I really enjoy inspiring others and provoking change. I find solace in providing others with a happier disposition. A single word of praise or a simple well-wish can seriously change how people see themselves. I love it!
advice
If a girl who is 13 hugs her boyfriend goodbye that is slightly taller than her and then kisses him on the neck is that slutty? It depends on the kiss, right?
What do you guys think?
If he is your boyfriend, it's not slutty. If you said goodbye to every guy that way, it would be. I would say, however, that you're much too young in my opinion to display affection in that manner.
Hi TuscanSun,
Well here is the update between my wife and I.
Things where very strange when I got home.
I bit my lip and changed the way I approached my life. We have had many talks and many hard days.
But you know what it worked.
So your advice realy helped our marriage.
Our love for each other is stronger than ever.
We are now both very happy and hopefully will be for a long time. Now we must keep the spark going and never let it die again. Once again thanks a lot for your help.
Ray
This made me so happy to read! I am so glad that you and your wife worked things out! I have been thinking about you both lately and was wondering, but obviously it wasn't my place to ask. I have recently become engaged, so it warms my heart to read about things like this. God bless you both, and best of luck to you!
First lets talk about real life. I have a boyfriend that we used to fight all the time but we recently stopped. I've been together with him for a year and a month and i can hardly see him because of his parents. He had trust issues which is why we fight and he also gets jealousy easily but he said hes gonna change and he has been chowing, so far, really good results. and also to add, i normally get these "feelings" about things and they always come true. we never really discussed about these "feelings". Now for the dream: In the beginning, me and my boyfriend are fighting because he is fed up with these "feelings", he hates that they are always true but he never believes them at first. We just keep on fighting about it. Then one day, a guy that i dont know and never met, comes to my house. I am alone in my house. His name is Chase. As soon as i open the door, we just stare at each other and its very quiet. After about a minute of staring, we just kiss out of no where. I forget that i even have a boyfriend. And with that one kiss, i learn almost every single thing about him. He says it is cause he has the same "power" as me except his is stronger and he can control it. I end up falling in love with him. After about a week later, I break up with my boyfriend to officially go out with Chase. Not even a day later, we are like we been together forever. We don't live together, but we showered together and it was the best feeling i have ever had. Chase watched out for me. There are many people who wanted me dead because they knew about my power. And every time they tried to kill me, Chase was there to stop them.... I told my boyfriend about this dream and he is really sad, i feel very guilty cause i would never ever cheat on him. I love him too much, but part of me really wishes this Chase guy is real.
I think your dream is extremely symbolic, and I will break it up as best I can to describe what I PERSONALLY think it means.
1)In the beginning of the dream, you and your boyfriend are fighting about your 'feelings'. You then go on to meet some random guy who also has 'feelings'.
----- This could mean that you're aware of your constant bickering with your boyfriend, who doesn't seem to understand you. The random guy could symbolize you craving for someone who understands you. Someone who gets you. Someone who believes you.
2) You say that in your dream, people were trying to kill you because of your power.
------- Again, I feel that this could mean you're self conscious about people not understanding you, and all you want is someone to get it.
I think your subconscious is telling you that your current boyfriend isn't working out for you, and you're yearning for something more.
AGAIN - This is just my PERSONAL opinion based on the slight information I have. I am by NO means a professional, nor to I have any history analyzing dreams. I am simply making a guess based on my intuition.
Good luck.
im in LOVE with my ex but hes always angry and hes as out of control as it gets. i waznt dat great of a person myself its wasnt all r fault tho we live in a very bad area and have pretty messed up lives but over the last couple of years ive become more mature and hes just become worst. the more im away from him the more better of a person i become and from what ive heard he just gets worst and im still extremely lonely and i know hes the only 1 dat can fix dat. mybe if we lived in a better world without abuse, drugs, and babies we could b happy 2gether again. till then what do i do? can i really keep living without my soulmate?
So....... in you're previous questions you're asking about some guy you like, and how you want him to ask you out, and you do all these things to make his current girl angry - yet you're still in love with your ex?
Are you fucking with us?
this guy likes me, i would say yes but he has a flaw dat i really have a prob with i dont know why it just bothers me its dat he has a big birth mark on his chin and its the red kind. i know he cant fix it but i just wanna ask him in a nice way 2 like put concealer on it or something i cant think of a nice way 2 say it tho it just sounds mean but i dont think its 2 unreasonable
It's extremely unreasonable. If a guy told you that you had small tits, would you run off and get them bigger for him? If he told you he thought your hair was ugly, would you change it? You're SUPPOSED to like someone for who they are - asking a guy to change his appearance to suit you is incredibly wrong.
Though, if you must, here is a nice way of telling someone something that bothers you about them: Hey, it probably doesn't mean a lot to you, but I personally get really annoyed when I see people spell horribly and use terrible grammar. It irks me when people use words like 'dat' instead of 'that'. I just think it makes you look childish and uneducated, and I'm only telling you this because I bet you're a really sweet person, and I'm sure you don't want people to think you're uneducated.
Or, for your situation: Hey! Can I ask you a personal question? Do you ever get self conscious about your birth mark? I know of a really cool way that you can make it less noticeable if you want. I break out sometimes on my face, and it makes me really self conscious, so I use this really awesome concealer. Do you want to try it?
So I'm 21 and my boyfriend is 18. We've been together for 2 months now.
Next weekend I'm going to meet his whole family for the first time, at a dinner. I guess his mom asks how we are doing and everything, and I've briefly met her once. The thing I'm worried about when meeting his whole family is our age difference.
Everyone always makes a big deal that I'm 3 years older than him. But really, we're perfect for each other. People don't make fun of me, but they just joke around saying things like "Ha ha you cradle robber!" Things like that. I'm worried what his whole family is going to say. I know there is going to be a joke or few and I never know how to handle it! I'm a pretty shy girl so I just kind of laugh it off. Or the question from families are always "Why would you wanna be with him!" Like joking around but I never know how to respond.
Any advice on how to handle comments like these?! I obviously want to make a good impression on his family.
Be classy. If someone makes a rude comment about the age difference, just brush if off and say something like "Even though Tom is 18, I really feel like he's at my maturity level. I don't even realize he's 18 until someone makes some comment about it."
Hai friends, iam a girl bron in a wrong family. I have a mom, dad, elder sister. My sister age is 27 nd 3 years yonger. Parents are seeing only jathagam nd the persons. From the begining they are treating me very badly. Thats i should do what they say,even it make me die also, i should not go out, i should not take to any one even to my friends also. Few years before i meat a guy nd fall. Ne cares for me lot still now. Looking me as a kid, making me all comforts. When i cry he always be with me. He made me happy, safe, sequire. Now we want to marry. His parents also loves me a lot. But my parents treating them as some thing else. They r not leave me alone any where, including bathroom. Bcoz they dont want my happines. With my marriage they r searching a slave to work for them, nd make them confort. I this case what shall i do pls tell me. I dont to miss him. He is a gem.
Marry him anyways and get the hell away from your family?
I'm sorry if I didn't quite understand this all... it was a bit of a hard read. O.o
why do men fall in and out out of love so easily, while women fall in and out of love so hard? guys, i appreciate honest answers. do you ever find yourself completely in love with a girl and after a while it goes away....why
If you're talking about a span of less than a year, it wasn't love.
If you're talking about a span of 10+ years: Some people (both men AND women) can "fall out of love" simply because they're not being stimulated emotionally the way the used to, and they crave it. They get bored, tired of the "same ole" and like to move on.
It's natural.
Last year I met a guy at college. He was really cool and we got along great as friends. He had a very serious long term girlfriend, who also went to our school and who I had met through him a few times. I liked her and them and I thought we were just friends. Then when we went home for the summer we started talking more and he admitted that he had feelings for me and wanted to break up with his girlfriend because of it, and because he thought they'd been over for a long time. He ended it.
We started talking and after a month I went to visit him and all we did was kiss. It got really serious after that really quickly. We saw each other about three more times over the summer, talked nonstop, and 3 weeks before coming back to school we had sex. He always said if I was worried about something I should talk to him and so I always would and at that point we had spent almost 3 months just talking. At that point I gave myself to him completely because I really, really trusted him. We found out we had so much in common and I have never felt that close to someone that quickly.
When we came back to school I was so excited to be together. For two weeks, I thought it was great. He came over all the time and we had a class together and it was just really easy. The entire summer and at school we never fought or got mad at each other. I just felt like he was my best friend.
Then one day he says he needs to talk to me and basically tells me that he doesn't think he has feelings for me anymore. He said he can't imagine losing me as a friend or anything but he doesn't feel like he really likes me that way or something. I was devastated and so confused because everyone said we were awesome together. He would often tell people it was going great. I know that he was SO into me over the summer. It felt intense and amazing. I don't understand how all of a sudden he doesn't feel that way about me. I keep thinking how he'd say things like "I can't get close enough to you" and how much he missed me this summer, how great it was. I feel cheap and used.
We didn't talk much for a few days, but now it's been about 10 days and we're back to talking A LOT. We don't really see each other outside of class but he texts me all the time just talking about random stuff we used to talk about. I know we're going to remain friends, but I don't understand what he's doing. It seems like the only thing missing is the intimate part. I'm starting to feel like he was confused and decided to break up with me because he didn't want to be in a relationship again after his ex. But I feel like he'd want to be with me again if I decided to cut off all communication. It's almost like, he wants to have his cake and eat it too, so to speak. I'm really confused and I don't know how I feel or what I want. I know I'd take him back if he asked. Should I talk to him and see what he's feeling? Should I stop talking to him? I don't think I could lose my best friend, but I feel like it's hurting me to talk to him when I still have feelings. Do you think he has feelings for me still? Please help me.
I think you should absolutely talk to him, and tell him everything you've just told us. Explain your feelings, even the fact that you feel cheap and used. Tell him how he used to say those nice things and ask him how he could suddenly not like you anymore.
Ask him to be honest, and ask him if it's because he needs some time after his previous break up.
Good luck!
So I was on this website where you kinda find dates. Yes I am of the age. But they usually ask if I'm talking to anyone else. Which I always deny. I am currently "talking" to around 5 guys. Is it wrong to keep my options open or should I just choose one and ditch the others. The problem with that is that I'm not sure exactly who I want to stick with and if it'll be worth it. Because what if i change my mind and then it will be too late to take things back. :/ help..
No, it's NOT wrong for you to keep your options open! Next time someone asks you if you're talking to other guys, be honest! Say "Yeah, I'm just keeping my options open... see what's out there." If a potential boyfriend can't accept that, move on to the next one :)
Good luck :)
TuscanSun,
Hi again.
I will be going home tomorrow and will see my family and my wife and we will have a talk.
The hard part is that it is our 8th Anniversary on the 20th Sept. I believe that I still need to show that it menas something.. I am goig to buy a present and give it to her with 1 rose and a letter:
Dear Mily, Anniversary 20 September 2011.
In good times life is easy.
In hard times life is difficult.
A marriage that lasts over time
Is dependent on loving
It is not always about being ‘in love”
Successful relationships you will fall “in and out of love” many times.
With the same person
When you love someone it is about respect, care and compassion all the time
It is in the willingness to forgive and repair misdeeds.
To be open and honest and true to each other’s heart
If we can’t do so it will tear us apart
This is not end but could be a new beginning
May God bless our family so we can pull through.
This is a gift from me to you.
That shows my love for all of you
I have taken our marriage for granted that has been blessed upon me
I should have appreciated our marriage and not just let it be.
I have found a new passion inside of me
And wish to share this with our family
For eternity
If we work together our hearts will mend and this will bring us together again
Your loving Husband and Father
Ray
I will leave the present and hand written letter for her, I am sure I should not be around when she receives it. She will need to be alone on reading the letter
I need to be strong when I arrive home
I believe this is the correct path to go
I am so scared about going home
Ray
That is a beautiful letter. I think your wife will just love it! Don't be afraid about going home - be excited to repair your marriage! I hope it all works out for you, Ray!
-Megan
im 19/f and my boyfriend is 20/m
we have been dating for nearly 4 months now, but to us it feels much much longer then that. We knew each other for 4 or so months before we even started dating, and back then, i fell for him the moment we met.
Our relationship has been nothing short of some sort of beautiful dream, no fights, no problems, just love. He is my first boyfriend and serious relationship, however i am not his. I also lost my virginity to him and don't regret it one bit.
my boyfriend has a lot of friends that are girls, most of which i met or knew about before we were dating. The thing is, even before we started dating, i knew that he liked me.. but what hurt me was that whilst he liked me...he was sleeping with his girl bestfriend. It kinda hurt, she fell in love with him, he told her it was only a friends with benefits sorta thing, and that there were no feelings on his end. His best friend even knew back when they were sleeping together that he liked me. I guess my own insecurities are why i cant let it go. She's so so so skinny and tiny compared to me, infact all of my boyfriends ex's and friends with benefits have been. and then theres just me. It hurts when im with my boyfriend and his bestfriend texts him or something just cause i know they used to sleep together.
The other night i also found out at a party we were at together about another girl he slept with that i didnt know about, again before we were dating. finding this out killed me, especially when i already dont like her. but apperantly "every guy has to sleep with her because shes amazing in bed and knows all the moves". That part greatly upset me.
I have always been self concious about how i perform in bed, especially cause hes had so much experience and well, he's my first. I told him how i felt about everything, and he got upset at me and himself. Things still arent the same, hes not being intimate with me anymore, not even cuddling me in bed like he used to always do...
He even admitted to me that night that im not as good as his previous sexual partners, yet im the only person he wants to have sex with cause he loves me. but it hurts, it really does. its hard seeing the other girls, especially when i know that he used to be intimate with them too, and knowing that they're better in bed and skinnier then me. i just dont know how i can get over this.
I'm going to be honest here: You'll likely never get over it, especially considering your boyfriend is doing nothing to ease your worries. He still socializes personally with girls he had intimate relationships with, and even has the gall to say you're "not as good as them" in bed. No wonder you're self conscious.
It just seems like he's not respecting your feelings at all. He's not being intimate with you now because you were honest about feelings that I think are well-warranted. It just doesn't seem like he respects you.
Call me controlling, but there is no conceivable way I'd allow my husband to socialize with women he was intimate with.
If you want to make things work with him, I guess you can find solace in the fact that even though he has been intimate with these women, he still chose to date you over them.
Good luck!
What is a cute nickname for my boyfriend named Daniel?
Danny
Dan
Danny Boy
Dano
Dayday.
I have no idea, lol.
I am at a point in my relationship at which I am either out of options, or not emotionally intelligent enough to know how to handle it. Maybe someone here is....
My boyfriend has anger issues. Not violent or anything, but he definitely has issues. He's told me they stemmed from his childhood and he's always gotten mad or annoyed over small things and I am noticing it now. I, on the other hand, am the complete opposite. I never get angry, and I don't know how to handle it when people do. I try to "fix" the situation and end up emotional because I'm in love with this guy and I hate seeing him upset. Sometimes, he gets mad over things that I do, sometimes, its got nothing to do with me. Still, he becomes silent, acts cold, and stays that way for a long time. I think the fact that I get emotional about it also bothers him a lot, but the thing is I truly cannot help it because I care about him so much. I've looked up ways to deal with people that have anger issues and the typical advice is keep cool, don't give in to it, don't try to fix it etc. But I cannot seem to do that no matter how hard I try. Does anyone have some tips for me that may help me deal with him, or things that I can say to make him realize he's putting a huge strain on our relationship by being the way he is. He's told me before he cant help it but I'm getting to a point where I don't know if I can take it anymore but at the same time do not want to lose him because he is one of the most genuine, sweet, good person I know. I don't know what to do??
No offense to the person below me, but they have no idea what the hell they're talking about.
My husband is the EXACT same way. Seriously. I read this and had to think for a minute if I'm the one that wrote it, ha!
My husband, when on a regular visit to his doctor, told him that he was having mood swings and would get really angry for minor things. (Spilling a drink, etc.) His doctor prescribed him Lexapro, which apparently is supposed to help relax and calm your moods. He's been on it for 2 years and it really, really helps. It doesn't take it completely away, but his 'anger problems' went from being a several times a day situation, to a few times a week.
Whoever told you not to give in or fix it is absolutely right. Don't egg him on by being angry, yelling at him, or upset. That'll only make situations worse. Try and understand what he's going through.
You may just need to sit down with him and express your honest feelings. If he's not willing to try and fix it, then neither should you.
Good luck!
Im not like ready to make out or have someone i want to and im not in a relationship or anything im just very curious cause i want to be ready when i want or ready too..so step by step would be very helpfull and for the first time and if you want you can put what happened for your first time cause i would like to hear some other peoples storys:)
Step 1 - Meet guy/girl willing to make out with you.
Step 2 - Ensure your breath is minty fresh.
Step 3 - Know the signs that a kiss is coming. Awkward silences, random closeness, butterflies in your tummy.
Step 4 - If he/she kisses you first, follow their lead. If they're kissing you gently and softly, don't open your mouth. If they're being more forceful and passionate, gently part your lips and allow him/her to push their tongue into your mouth. Reciprocate by putting your tongue in their mouth. Gently lick their bottom/top lip, and play around with their tongue with yours.
Step 5 - For the love of God, don't choke them. Put your tongue in their mouth.. maybe 1-2 inches, and see how that goes.
My first time, I was 12 and it was sloppy and I didn't care much for it.
okay, my friend is fourteen and the guy she is with is 17 they are only holding hands and kissin can they still date? or will he get into truoble?
If they're not having ANY SORT of sex, then no, he cannot get into trouble. However, I wouldn't recommend him dating her because if he makes her angry or whatever, she COULD claim he did something to her that didn't want - then he'd be in a slew of legal trouble.
What is a cute nickname for a boy that matches tink?
I don't know if you should really plan a nickname. I think it should just.. I don't know? Come to you?
I call my husband Bean. I have no idea where I got it - I just started calling him it.
Bean, Dinkle, Love, Binkie.. all sorts of lame things. Ha.
Sorry I couldn't be of much help, but good luck!
me: 18/f ben: 21/m
Basically, Ben is an old friend that I reconnected with after not hanging out with him for 3 years. We hit it off instantly once again. Hes funny, goofy, responsible, talented, respectful, sexy.. lol.
The thing is, due to past relationships, we agreed to just hang out and not get into anything serious to quickly.. and Im totally fine with this. Weve already made out one night drunk at his show, and we talk at least once a day on the phone and text.
I want to keep things interesting/sexy/exciting without him thinking that Im trying to jump into anything. What can i do to achieve this and keep him interested? Thanks :)
Be flirty with other guys, too. Dress flirty. If you see him chatting it up with another girl, don't get jealous. Just pretend it doesn't bother you. If you keep it casual like he wants, he'll love you all the more for it.
He's already interested in you, so it's not like you have to win him over. Keep him interested by keeping an open mind. If another guy wants to buy you a drink, let him. If another guy wants to dance, dance. I think he'll appreciate the fact that you're open to whatever, and it might make him like you more to see how outgoing and fun you are.
Good luck!
Me and my boyfriend of 2 years broke up, reasons dont matter but i have a question
i blocked him off my sisters facebooks, and i deactivated mine because i didnt want to look childish and delete him or block him, im moving on with my life and im feeling happier, i still love him but im trying to get over that because i dont think its ever gonna workout, my question is.. now hes adding all these girls on facebook and slightly flirting, and i feel like the only way i will ever get over him if it hurts to see stuff on facebook, what do you guys think? maybe im wrong because im curious to wanna go on his stuff.. will it just hurt me more? the curiousty is killing me.. so what should i do? thanks.
The only way to truly get over someone is to have a clean break. That means no contact, no snooping, and try to dodge the curiosity. Jealousy or curiosity on what he is doing is so normal, though. I dated a guy for 3 years, am married to another guy now, and often wonder if my ex has 'moved on' so to speak. I'd be a little miffed to hear if he had a new girlfriend, to be honest.
You're only going to torture yourself if you continue to read his FB and see his communication with other girls. Deactivating your FB was a good move - stay off the social networking sites and go out and have fun!
17/F
My boyfriend and I just aren't working out. We share interests and stuff, but he hardly talks to me and then he apologizes for messaging me too much, when he hardly does at all. I tried to tell him it was fine and I wanted him to talk to me, but he said he just doesn't know what to say. I'm pretty sure he does like me, but he doesn't know how to act. I'm his first girlfriend, I'm assuming.
There's no passion in this at all and I feel like we're strangers whenever we meet. Problem is, I just don't know how to break up with him and ask to still be friends. I've never been good at breaks up and I always waited for the other guy to go first, but I don't think he's going to break up with me any time soon... How can I break up with him and still be friends?
There is no sure fire way to break up with someone without hurting them.
The problems you're having seem pretty superficial. As in, they don't seem very profound or extensive to possibly require a break up.
If you WANT to try and mend the relationship, you could simply get together and tell him you don't feel connected, and you'd like to attempt to change that. Tell him you're feeling neglected, and see what he says.
If you don't want to mend the relationship, BE HONEST. Honesty is always the best option. Always. Tell him you don't feel connected in the boyfriend/girlfriend sense, but you still feel like you could be really good friends.
Good luck :)
Megan