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Dont know why i cant get over this...
im 19/f and my boyfriend is 20/m
we have been dating for nearly 4 months now, but to us it feels much much longer then that. We knew each other for 4 or so months before we even started dating, and back then, i fell for him the moment we met.
Our relationship has been nothing short of some sort of beautiful dream, no fights, no problems, just love. He is my first boyfriend and serious relationship, however i am not his. I also lost my virginity to him and don't regret it one bit.
my boyfriend has a lot of friends that are girls, most of which i met or knew about before we were dating. The thing is, even before we started dating, i knew that he liked me.. but what hurt me was that whilst he liked me...he was sleeping with his girl bestfriend. It kinda hurt, she fell in love with him, he told her it was only a friends with benefits sorta thing, and that there were no feelings on his end. His best friend even knew back when they were sleeping together that he liked me. I guess my own insecurities are why i cant let it go. She's so so so skinny and tiny compared to me, infact all of my boyfriends ex's and friends with benefits have been. and then theres just me. It hurts when im with my boyfriend and his bestfriend texts him or something just cause i know they used to sleep together.
The other night i also found out at a party we were at together about another girl he slept with that i didnt know about, again before we were dating. finding this out killed me, especially when i already dont like her. but apperantly "every guy has to sleep with her because shes amazing in bed and knows all the moves". That part greatly upset me.
I have always been self concious about how i perform in bed, especially cause hes had so much experience and well, he's my first. I told him how i felt about everything, and he got upset at me and himself. Things still arent the same, hes not being intimate with me anymore, not even cuddling me in bed like he used to always do...
He even admitted to me that night that im not as good as his previous sexual partners, yet im the only person he wants to have sex with cause he loves me. but it hurts, it really does. its hard seeing the other girls, especially when i know that he used to be intimate with them too, and knowing that they're better in bed and skinnier then me. i just dont know how i can get over this.
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Look you and boy friend got some stuff to talk about. Number one something that jump out at me is a boy duos not tell his girl(you lost virginity to him!!)that he's had sex with an other girl and she's batter at(you know what)then you are and think that's it ok.It's not ok!!! Got that? It's never ok to tell a girl that he had batter sex with an other girl.Number Two he had sex with so any girl that it's not ok any more.You just don't go and have sex with this girl than go and have sex with your girl friend!
If he said Sorry and said he will stop have sex with other girl's when he is still with you. then it's up to you to go on with him. It ok if you don't. But know this if you go on you will never "get over it" it's like he cheated on you!
Good Girl!
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I'm going to be honest here: You'll likely never get over it, especially considering your boyfriend is doing nothing to ease your worries. He still socializes personally with girls he had intimate relationships with, and even has the gall to say you're "not as good as them" in bed. No wonder you're self conscious.
It just seems like he's not respecting your feelings at all. He's not being intimate with you now because you were honest about feelings that I think are well-warranted. It just doesn't seem like he respects you.
Call me controlling, but there is no conceivable way I'd allow my husband to socialize with women he was intimate with.
If you want to make things work with him, I guess you can find solace in the fact that even though he has been intimate with these women, he still chose to date you over them.
Good luck!
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