Member Since: September 3, 2011
Answers: 4
Last Update: September 4, 2011
Visitors: 658
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Hello again,
Alrighty, I understand why you lied, but you have to understand that you are the only one who has been writing about this situation for months, so it is EXTREMEMLY obvious it is you.
There is NO need to lie about it.
As for what you said... Do you remember me telling you what I have been through?
Somehow I don't think so. I told you how to get through this, and yet you still sit at home thinking about him.
Get out. Every day, if possible. Go someplace. The library, a store, whatever... GET OUT OF THE HOUSE.
You can't meet Mr. Right, when you are sitting at home fantasizing about Mr. Wrong. Doesn't that make sense?
I suggested before that you find a counselor, and I still think that is a good idea, but if you can't for some realistic reason, then you MUST get out of the house.
Sitting around sulking about someone who hates you and used you for the entire relationship ONLY HURTS YOU.
Remember... I have been there. 10 years I was married before I found out from her mother that she never loved me and only used me as a way to get away from where she was living.
I was a fully paid vacation and a change of scenery. Nothing more. She lied to me every single day for a DECADE.
As for being harsh with you, what would you suggest I do? People here have spent OVER A YEAR gently telling you things. Perhaps you didn't realize you have been asking what amounts to the same couple of questions in different forms for OVER A YEAR. In case you think that is wrong, check the date:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=584324
... The point is that if you have decided that you want to waste a year of your time on this guy, that is sad, but it is your right to do so... BUT you don't get to wast everyone else's time also. See what I mean?
If I went back to the dozens of people who have answered you over the last year, and showed them the question you dropped in my inbox yesterday... do you think they might feel like answering your questions was a waste of their time? Of course they would... because you haven't done anything to improve your situation, no matter how much help you have been given.
Now, for the love of all that is Holy... PLEASE don't feel sorry for yourself about this now. You have been doing plenty of that.
I am going to say this, one last time, in the VERY simplest way possible:
Is what you are doing about this relationship making things better in your life?
Have you been doing the same thing over again?
It is working?
Then stop doing the same thing over and over again... PLEASE!?
No matter how many times he tells you things will be different, he is still lying.
You have told me before how smart and wise you think you are... and THAT is probably what is keeping you from seeking counseling. Why would someone smart and wise need counseling right?
Because she keeps doing the EXACT SAME THING over and over again... that is why.
Please get some serious help to overcome this, if you aren't willing to let him go, so you can have a life again.
I thought my life was over when what happened with me first started. And I did just what you are doing... right up until I found out from her mother that she had lied about everything, including her reasons for taking off.
I was instantly done with her at that point. Does it hurt? Yes, it does. Still? Yes.
Does the pain get better over time? Yes, it does.
Does it ever go away? I don't know, as I am not there yet.
I am not sure the pain SHOULD go away. I look at thing much differently now than I did before, and in some ways that is a good thing. The odds of me repeating that mistake are very low.
If you will just get the help you need, you can have your life back.
You have been asking about this same thing on this site for over a year. This means that nobody here is someone you will listen to. With that in mind, I almost deleted this, because I feel like you won't listen anyway, so why bother?
Will you listen? Finally? Just once? After all the thousands of words that have been written here, trying to tell you the plain simple truth?
Just this once, can you honestly tell me this is making a difference, and that all the effort that all these people put into you wasn't a waste of their life's time?
Please? (link)
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I tried my best to show him how i can be his
perfect girl, i was understanding, i wasnt jealous.
I gave him his space and constantly asked him if he needed it, and in the end he was talking about how hes gonna go out on a date with someone else.
Your right, i am wasting my time
and i will get my life back
and i wont go bck to him, ill cut him off completely from everywhere, ill never hear from him again. thanks so much.
:)
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Once again, I did answer your question:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=598194
... which was asked yesterday.
It was posted three times (someone hit the button 3 times instead of once.) And today it was posted from this account twice.
Do you really expect me to answer it five times? Not going to happen.
Please don't do the "my friend has this problem" thing. Have some respect for the people here who have been answering what amounts to the same question for months, as well as me, the guy who spent several hours chatting with you about this, only to find out yesterday it was all for nothing.
If you still say I didn't answer your question, even after I provided a link to one of the three you asked without being logged in yesterday, then we are going to have a problem here.
I am out of patience. (link)
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I lied because i know how much i am of an idiot russel. =/ i let him do this to me again and i couldnt help it because i thought he really did regret it, but him coming back to me then spending some time and later realizing that we just dont "click" anymore and that he didnt love me anymore made me question myself, even though i was such a sweetheart to him. He gave me his word hed never do it again and he did. and i do beleive the relationship is over.. i just cant let him go in my mind because im so attached to him and u have no idea how much i hate it. i wish i wasnt, and i keep thinking ill never let him go. and i know i have to but i dont know how to. and i have nothing to do in my life, all i do is stay home or go out every once in a while (for personal reasons) so he is all i ever think about. Maybe im not wise and im dumb for not realizing it, but i will realize it one day hopefully and look back and i hope ill write you one day telling you i was so stupid and how dumb i sound right now, but im not there yet.
Im just hurt for the second time and confused, i sometimes feel like hes the only reason why i can be happy and i dont know how to stop feeling that way, sometimes i do but when i over think it gets really bad and i dont understand how to stop doing that.
So please dont be so harsh on me, I feel like an idiot enough.
and im sorry to bother.
goodbye.
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I did answer your question, yesterday, which is why I am a little annoyed that you keep asking it.
If you answer my question, I am going to merge this account into your old one.
You will need to log into the original account when I do.
Before I go any further with you, however, I want an answer to the original question, which was why did you create another account?
Thanks,
DN. (link)
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Uh..No you did not answer my question because on THIS account i asked it, and when i go on to my "Your questions" i dont see an answer it says "0" so im not being annoying i was just asking. and because this is actually my friends account, and she wrote this question down and she doesnt know how to deal with the site so im doing it for her :)
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Hi there,
Please tell me why you have two accounts. If you were attempting to change your column name, please tell me which account you wish to keep, so I can remove the other one.
Thank you,
DN. (link)
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I want to keep the other one, but can you answer my question ?
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