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Change your life.
Hello again,
Alrighty, I understand why you lied, but you have to understand that you are the only one who has been writing about this situation for months, so it is EXTREMEMLY obvious it is you.
There is NO need to lie about it.
As for what you said... Do you remember me telling you what I have been through?
Somehow I don't think so. I told you how to get through this, and yet you still sit at home thinking about him.
Get out. Every day, if possible. Go someplace. The library, a store, whatever... GET OUT OF THE HOUSE.
You can't meet Mr. Right, when you are sitting at home fantasizing about Mr. Wrong. Doesn't that make sense?
I suggested before that you find a counselor, and I still think that is a good idea, but if you can't for some realistic reason, then you MUST get out of the house.
Sitting around sulking about someone who hates you and used you for the entire relationship ONLY HURTS YOU.
Remember... I have been there. 10 years I was married before I found out from her mother that she never loved me and only used me as a way to get away from where she was living.
I was a fully paid vacation and a change of scenery. Nothing more. She lied to me every single day for a DECADE.
As for being harsh with you, what would you suggest I do? People here have spent OVER A YEAR gently telling you things. Perhaps you didn't realize you have been asking what amounts to the same couple of questions in different forms for OVER A YEAR. In case you think that is wrong, check the date:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
... The point is that if you have decided that you want to waste a year of your time on this guy, that is sad, but it is your right to do so... BUT you don't get to wast everyone else's time also. See what I mean?
If I went back to the dozens of people who have answered you over the last year, and showed them the question you dropped in my inbox yesterday... do you think they might feel like answering your questions was a waste of their time? Of course they would... because you haven't done anything to improve your situation, no matter how much help you have been given.
Now, for the love of all that is Holy... PLEASE don't feel sorry for yourself about this now. You have been doing plenty of that.
I am going to say this, one last time, in the VERY simplest way possible:
Is what you are doing about this relationship making things better in your life?
Have you been doing the same thing over again?
It is working?
Then stop doing the same thing over and over again... PLEASE!?
No matter how many times he tells you things will be different, he is still lying.
You have told me before how smart and wise you think you are... and THAT is probably what is keeping you from seeking counseling. Why would someone smart and wise need counseling right?
Because she keeps doing the EXACT SAME THING over and over again... that is why.
Please get some serious help to overcome this, if you aren't willing to let him go, so you can have a life again.
I thought my life was over when what happened with me first started. And I did just what you are doing... right up until I found out from her mother that she had lied about everything, including her reasons for taking off.
I was instantly done with her at that point. Does it hurt? Yes, it does. Still? Yes.
Does the pain get better over time? Yes, it does.
Does it ever go away? I don't know, as I am not there yet.
I am not sure the pain SHOULD go away. I look at thing much differently now than I did before, and in some ways that is a good thing. The odds of me repeating that mistake are very low.
If you will just get the help you need, you can have your life back.
You have been asking about this same thing on this site for over a year. This means that nobody here is someone you will listen to. With that in mind, I almost deleted this, because I feel like you won't listen anyway, so why bother?
Will you listen? Finally? Just once? After all the thousands of words that have been written here, trying to tell you the plain simple truth?
Just this once, can you honestly tell me this is making a difference, and that all the effort that all these people put into you wasn't a waste of their life's time?
Please?
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I tried my best to show him how i can be his
perfect girl, i was understanding, i wasnt jealous.
I gave him his space and constantly asked him if he needed it, and in the end he was talking about how hes gonna go out on a date with someone else.
Your right, i am wasting my time
and i will get my life back
and i wont go bck to him, ill cut him off completely from everywhere, ill never hear from him again. thanks so much.
:)
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