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How Do You Handle Someone With Anger Issues?
I am at a point in my relationship at which I am either out of options, or not emotionally intelligent enough to know how to handle it. Maybe someone here is....
My boyfriend has anger issues. Not violent or anything, but he definitely has issues. He's told me they stemmed from his childhood and he's always gotten mad or annoyed over small things and I am noticing it now. I, on the other hand, am the complete opposite. I never get angry, and I don't know how to handle it when people do. I try to "fix" the situation and end up emotional because I'm in love with this guy and I hate seeing him upset. Sometimes, he gets mad over things that I do, sometimes, its got nothing to do with me. Still, he becomes silent, acts cold, and stays that way for a long time. I think the fact that I get emotional about it also bothers him a lot, but the thing is I truly cannot help it because I care about him so much. I've looked up ways to deal with people that have anger issues and the typical advice is keep cool, don't give in to it, don't try to fix it etc. But I cannot seem to do that no matter how hard I try. Does anyone have some tips for me that may help me deal with him, or things that I can say to make him realize he's putting a huge strain on our relationship by being the way he is. He's told me before he cant help it but I'm getting to a point where I don't know if I can take it anymore but at the same time do not want to lose him because he is one of the most genuine, sweet, good person I know. I don't know what to do??
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No offense to the person below me, but they have no idea what the hell they're talking about.
My husband is the EXACT same way. Seriously. I read this and had to think for a minute if I'm the one that wrote it, ha!
My husband, when on a regular visit to his doctor, told him that he was having mood swings and would get really angry for minor things. (Spilling a drink, etc.) His doctor prescribed him Lexapro, which apparently is supposed to help relax and calm your moods. He's been on it for 2 years and it really, really helps. It doesn't take it completely away, but his 'anger problems' went from being a several times a day situation, to a few times a week.
Whoever told you not to give in or fix it is absolutely right. Don't egg him on by being angry, yelling at him, or upset. That'll only make situations worse. Try and understand what he's going through.
You may just need to sit down with him and express your honest feelings. If he's not willing to try and fix it, then neither should you.
Good luck!
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i dont mean to put this in a bad way, but you are supposed to love your "love" for who they are... people may change, but you just have to exept him for who he is. most importantally, one of the biggest lesson you will ever realise and have to in life is: nobodys perfect. and if ou dont follow that, YOU might be the real loser... im not saing this in a bad way at all but what i am tring to say is, he might have anger problems, as you said. but no matter whitch way you put it, love is love. and we all love eachother for the inside. not on thier "looks" like for example: you see a really 'nice' boy in the mall, and you start flirting with someone you dont even know, and you end up scoring the date, possibly, but that just tells me, and anyone else who sees what i see, you would only be loving him for his looks, say youve been getting pretty serious with him, and he ends up spending a couple nights (not meaning any sexual activity, just a regaulr 'spending the night over' type thing)
your house for a buissness trip because it was right across the street from your house say. and you realize how stuck up and snotty and obnoxious he was, that just tells us all, that you shouldnt jugde 'love' on thier looks. and so as i was saying, but just give him a chance, maybe its just a 'temporalily' thing, bc you dont wanna end a relationship of2years in love bc of the way he acts... its ok, that you might not have quite understood that, but just give him a chance to see if he goes back to being himself at least 1 week to a mounth.ud be surprised
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