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He says he doesn't have feelings for me?
Last year I met a guy at college. He was really cool and we got along great as friends. He had a very serious long term girlfriend, who also went to our school and who I had met through him a few times. I liked her and them and I thought we were just friends. Then when we went home for the summer we started talking more and he admitted that he had feelings for me and wanted to break up with his girlfriend because of it, and because he thought they'd been over for a long time. He ended it.
We started talking and after a month I went to visit him and all we did was kiss. It got really serious after that really quickly. We saw each other about three more times over the summer, talked nonstop, and 3 weeks before coming back to school we had sex. He always said if I was worried about something I should talk to him and so I always would and at that point we had spent almost 3 months just talking. At that point I gave myself to him completely because I really, really trusted him. We found out we had so much in common and I have never felt that close to someone that quickly.
When we came back to school I was so excited to be together. For two weeks, I thought it was great. He came over all the time and we had a class together and it was just really easy. The entire summer and at school we never fought or got mad at each other. I just felt like he was my best friend.
Then one day he says he needs to talk to me and basically tells me that he doesn't think he has feelings for me anymore. He said he can't imagine losing me as a friend or anything but he doesn't feel like he really likes me that way or something. I was devastated and so confused because everyone said we were awesome together. He would often tell people it was going great. I know that he was SO into me over the summer. It felt intense and amazing. I don't understand how all of a sudden he doesn't feel that way about me. I keep thinking how he'd say things like "I can't get close enough to you" and how much he missed me this summer, how great it was. I feel cheap and used.
We didn't talk much for a few days, but now it's been about 10 days and we're back to talking A LOT. We don't really see each other outside of class but he texts me all the time just talking about random stuff we used to talk about. I know we're going to remain friends, but I don't understand what he's doing. It seems like the only thing missing is the intimate part. I'm starting to feel like he was confused and decided to break up with me because he didn't want to be in a relationship again after his ex. But I feel like he'd want to be with me again if I decided to cut off all communication. It's almost like, he wants to have his cake and eat it too, so to speak. I'm really confused and I don't know how I feel or what I want. I know I'd take him back if he asked. Should I talk to him and see what he's feeling? Should I stop talking to him? I don't think I could lose my best friend, but I feel like it's hurting me to talk to him when I still have feelings. Do you think he has feelings for me still? Please help me.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I think you should absolutely talk to him, and tell him everything you've just told us. Explain your feelings, even the fact that you feel cheap and used. Tell him how he used to say those nice things and ask him how he could suddenly not like you anymore.
Ask him to be honest, and ask him if it's because he needs some time after his previous break up.
Good luck!
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