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It's gross, especially when it's overt and/or persistant. I thought a relationship was meant to be between 2 people? Why do some couples try to get other people's attention? I noticed yesterday at the mall. There was this interracial couple all over each other, as we stood in line at this food place, and i'd focus on other things but they'd sometimes look back with this look on their face line they want their relationship to interest people, incite anger or jealousy, etc. it was awkward for me, directly behind them, and others in line. I have no problem with any couple, interracial, gay, lesbian, transgender, one young and one old, etc. I'm happy others can find love and be in relationships. I'm not jealous either, it's just uncomfortable to essentially be viewing foreplay without consent. There were children in line, too. Some people seem to get a sexual thrill out of people seeing their pda and that just seems sick and self centered. It makes me understand why there are countries that ban it.

Maybe you should speak up in protest next time, maybe even go as far as to wear blinders of some sort so you aren't offended or disturbed. Maybe you should carry blind folds and ear plugs everywhere you venture and pass them out to people the way people passed out fancy cigars in old time parties, or how some people passout religious pamphlets?

Haha, no I'm not being serious. Doesn't that sound a little ridiculous? Of course it does!
But in all honesty I can understand that it can be awkward, but if you are really bothered by something you have two choices, stay quiet and idle stand by or speak up.

We can't control anyone except ourselves, and even then humans lack power over self control in times of distress. So maybe you should see what exactly makes you uncomfortable and what you can do for yourself when a time such as that presents itself.

As for worrying about "the children." With today's media, the internet and gossip at school; I think two people sucking face in public is the most tame sexual exposure they'll have honestly.

You can worry about other children such as many people do, you can most certainly worry about your own, but even then you can't 100% control their development and or their surroundings.

So That's all I can really say, I hope I haven't upset you or offended you in anyway; not my intentions, but no use getting upset about the weather when we can't control it right?

Be well.

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i liked this girl i started dating who i thought was an innocent girl. in fact i didn't even try to kiss her until the third date because of how innocent i thought she was. well the thing is after i kissed her and don't ask me why we started talking about sexual experiences ( i thought she had practically none so what did i have to fear). well i found out she is what is known as a virgin slut or virgin whore, a girl who is still a virgin but has kissed around 40 guys and had blown off 4 guys just because she was horny and returning the favor after they had sucked her off.
i feel a little disgusted with the horny attitude with random guys in the past and don't know what i should think.
anyway, she is leaving the country for a year so we broke up but still talk as friends. we only kissed so i didn't even get blown off myself but she is going to do some religion studies outside the country, meaning no more sex life for at least that year (no kissing, no nothing). the thing is she went to Aruba as her last opportunity to party and i hate the feeling i get when i think about the certainty of she kissing at least a couple of guys a night (which really doesn't bother me that much)and the possibility of she sucking a guy off just because she is horny (that one does bother me).
i know this inst exactly a question but i need counsel from someone.
thanks in advance.

Alright well first off, the words slut and whore are terribly misogynistic term. Now what I will say from here on you might not like but, here goes.

First off her "romantic/sexual" experiences are hers and hers alone. Such as yours. Kissing is not sex. Kissing many people whether it be flirty, romantic, platonic and or sexual all it really is, is just kissing. If she has kissed over 40 people then that is her business and she has her reasons for doing so, as "wrong" or "gross" as they may seem. The same goes for her giving head to those 4 men.

The past is the past, there is nothing you can do about it. She had those experiences and that is that. Such as you have had yours. This is not to say that you shouldn't feel jealous or grossed out, everyone is different. And to some giving head to 4 men and kissing 40 people might be no big deal and to others it might be disgusting and wrong.

I think the real key point to your conflicting emotions and thoughts is the fact that you thought she was this innocent, naive, prude, inexperienced virgin. And when you uncovered how strong her sexdrive is and she revealed her experiences it might have distorted your perceptions of her. I wouldn't be surprised if your ego was slightly hurt as well, many guys (not all,) but quite a few; especially young ones have this "thing" about virgins. They tend to fetishize virgins because they want to be the first to taste that which has been untouched. The same goes for women! People in general at one point or another I think experience this lust.

Anyways, If she has left the country or is going to leave, for religious studies a year..I would honestly suggest not waiting for her. The fact you are complaining about not getting head from her before she left, is a bit silly. She must have not been in the "mood."

You say you like her but you see her and speak of her with terrible slurs. If you are as disgusted with her as you claim to be and it bothers you a lot to think of her with other guys, just move on.

Plenty of fish in the sea as they say. Even if she isn't kissing or giving head to other guys, the fact is you will be racking your brain, driving yourself insane thinking about her doing so. So just let go I think is the best; if you don't love her. Which I am assuming you don't because you never mentioned you did.

Think about it this way, you are broken up. You are not together, she might kiss/give head or even sleep with someone and you won't even know it. She will be miles away. Most importantly once again. YOU ARE JUST FRIENDS. This means she is free to kiss or do other things with whoever she wants and not have any consequences. The same way you can kiss/sleep with whoever, whenever and she can't say a word about it because you two are not together.

That is all I can say on the matter hope that helped

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I am so confused. I dont know what to do anymore. I am depressed all the time. To the point where all I want to do is cry and at times it takes all I have not to. I feel so alone. I have been married for 8 years but we never talk and lately he and I have been sleeping in separate rooms. We dont even argue we just dont talk. I know I am not happy anymore and I havent been for a long time. But we have children together and this is the only serious relationship I have ever had. To top it all he is controlling so I have never had a job and I dont know if I can support myself or my kids without him. I dont want to be miserable forever but I am terrified of life without him. I dont know how to survive without him. And I have absolutly no friends not a single one because my high school friends and I have drifted apart and I am not allowed out to have any. And I have no family I grew up in foster homes. So without him I am completely alone. I have no one to turn to. No one to stay with til I get on my feet. Am I being selfish by wanting a life of my own. What do I do? Where do I go from here?

Hi, well alright this is a lot you have going on. So to answer your questions:

1. Am I being selfish by wanting a life of my own. What do I do? From your perspective no you aren't. You have your reasons for feeling the way that you do and thinking the things that you are, but as for your kids; it might be a bit selfish for you to "want a life of your own" if that includes taking your kids along without talking it over first.

2. Where do I go from here?

Well that all depends, on a lot of things. First and foremost you need to clear your thoughts as best you can from all the negativity you are feeling and the anxieties you might be going through. 8 years is a very long, not to mention how many other years in the relationship you've spent together before marriage; your circumstances at the moment are quite rough.

You don't mention why exactly you feel this way, aside from him being controlling; it could be a number if reasons. Now as you stated you have been unhappy/depressed for quite awhile and you and your spouse don't communicate/talk and that alone is a massive issue in any and all relationships.

If you have tried to talk things out, have tried expressing how you are feeling and he isn't taking interest in trying to recover your marriage and salvage your relationship then he must have his reasons for that; despite them being selfish, irrational or flawed.

There isn't much you can do to make things "better" if you don't have your spouse agreeing and cooperating.

You mentioned you have no friends and given the fact you grew up in foster homes you have no permanent family to lean on for support, the only thing I can really suggest is talking to someone over the phone or via e-mail and setting an appointment with a psychologist or any other type of guidance counselor to help with your depression. If you've suggested marriage counseling before and he denied it then talk things over with a private psychologist and tell them your current problems, financial, marriag wise and emotional/mental state.

It's important that you seek help, for venting and they also help guide you in the right direction for resolving your issues. There are a few low budget and even some free counselors you just need to search online for one in your area.

I'm sorry you are going through this, I wish you luck and hope things get better for you dear.

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I am a female aged 21 and have recently started going out with a guy who regularly calls me a slut, whore, worthless and tells me how he doesn't trust me around any males but yet he tells me he has never loved anyone the way he loves me and he wants to marry me.

Long story short I went out with a guy for 2 years and he broke it off with me as he had been seeing another girl. A month later I had sex with one of my older friends (he knew my ex). A month after that I got back with my boyfriend.

We lasted for a year until I ended it with him for reasons of no trust etc due to what he had done before. About a month later I had sex with the same friend again.

I told my current boyfriend about my past history and he finds it very hard to deal with. He constantly tells me how he can't trust me around anyone. He asks me to send him photos of where I am every half an hour so he knows I'm not lying about my whereabouts.

He sends me messages such as (sorry for the vulgarity in some of these messages):
I bet you looked at his nice hard c*ck and loved it
You f*cked a guy who knew your ex
You wanted him to f*ck you
I find it funny that you aspire to be a mother one day
You really are a dirty sl*t
You used to deserve to get treated better but now you don't
You ruined yourself by f*cking him
Stop saying you're not a sl*t and face up to what you are
You f*cked up and you have to face the consequences
You are a disgraceful human
You are a f*cking whore
You just wanted his c*ck inside you

Do I deserve to get messages like this? I have only had sex or done any sexual activities with my ex, my friend and now my current boyfriend so I always thought I was a very good person.

He also has issues with the amount of guys that I have kissed which is 12. He hates that I have kissed three guys that I met on nights out (separate nights). One I dated for a while but the other two I never spoke to again.

I don't know whether I just hung around with people with no morals but I thought up until now that I was well behaved.

Do I deserve to get treated like this?

Hi, I agree with the adviser before me! These are all signs of verbal, emotional and psychological abuse! And they will and are affecting you; just seeing as how you are now thinking you might be a "bad person" or a "slut," is enough proof of the damage inflicted from his affect on you.

I would follow Annie's advice and break it off with him, putting your sexual/romantic history aside; you don't deserve to be humiliated or shamed. No one does. This is what he is doing, if you love someone you would not put them down the way he puts you down, you would never call someone you loved a terrible slur the way he is doing to you.

You deserve better than that, clearly he has his own issues to work out with his insecurities, but don't be his punching bag for his passive-aggressive behaviour.

I hope this helped, stay strong and realize just how valuable you are as a person! Wish you the best, cheers (:

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Okay so I have been with my boyfriend for almost three months and, in my mind, things have seemed to be going okay. I'm 16 he's 15 and this is the first relationship for both of us, we're also both quite shy people so the relationship is moving quite slowly. We see each other most days at school and we've met up a few times at weekends and we don't text an awful lot. People say that we can't really class ourselves as being in a relationship and that we're being pathetic. I can kind of see what they're saying seeing as we don't make any physical contact with each other - we've awkwardly hugged once but that's as far as we've got.

I wouldn't mind moving things on a bit faster and being in contact with him more but I'm not really sure how to go about it. I have social anxiety so I am constantly scared of saying something wrong or annoying him by texting him too much.

Also, my best friend told me the other day that she and this other boy basically forced my boyfriend into asking me out. I had no idea about this now I'm worried that maybe he didn't have any intention of asking me out and he only did it to stop people bothering him.

On the other hand, he has bought me really nice presents for Christmas, Valentines Day and my birthday and always responds very quickly and positively whenever I suggest we meet up. He spends time with me at school rather than his friends and always seems to be happy spending time with me.

Basically I'm confused - I want a relationship that people don't class as pathetic but I don't know if that's what he wants.

Alright let me begin to dissect your question and address it as best as I can.

First off from what I am seeing here in your text, you are being pushed into seeing and viewing your relationship as \"pathetic\" by other people, your \"friends.\"

You yourself stated that you are both relatively shy people and you have social anxiety and I\'m sure he has his own insecurities as well, just because things are moving a bit slow does not mean your relationship is pathetic. If others view it like that then that\'s their opinion.

Honestly you two are very young still, so why not take it slow? You didn\'t mention that you\'re \"in love,\" or that you feel that you \"love\" him yet. So I\'m going with this is your typical teenage modern relationship; where two people like each other for one reason or another and they decide to officially \"go out.\"

Most of what I am seeing here is \"my friends tell me my relationship should be like this (blahblah) but it\'s not so now I feel insecure and I don\'t know if I\'m doing it right.\"

Just look, the relationship is YOU and YOUR BOYFRIEND. It\'s not a polyamorous relatioship, no it\'s between only TWO people. So everyone else\'s OPINIONS ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP DON\'T MATTER. Your friends are not dating your boyfriend, his friends aren\'t dating you, your friends aren\'t dating you and his friend\'s aren\'t dating you. Therefore they don\'t know crapola about how you two get a long and how YOUR relationship WORKS BEST.

It\'s your first relationship right, so enjoy it. Don\'t rush into making out or making babies, besides this sounds more like you\'re still getting to known one another and comfortable with one another. Don\'t ruin it by rushing things, good things take time; a good healthy \"happy\" relationship is what the two of you make of it. For a relationship to work there has to be TRUST, with your anxiety and you feeling that you\'ll be a nuisance just by texting him that shows that you aren\'t secure and might have a bit of trust issues. Why? Because you don\'t want to annoy him, this means you might not known him too well to know that that\'s not the case, or that your anxiety is overshadowing you into thinking false things.

Your relationship to me seems like it\'s barely a rosebud. That with a bit of time and nurturing will bloom into something beautiful. But you can\'t rush nature, it happens on it\'s own at it\'s precise time. Right? If you over water it it will rot.

As for your best friend telling you that her and some other guy convinced your now boyfriend to date you, and you now feel as if he doesn\'t really like you; well if he didn\'t like you he wouldn\'t want to hangout, wouldn\'t buy you nice presents and many other things that I\'m sure he does and you might not notice how significant you are to him.

If two people are shy things will be a bit slow till those barriers come down, so relax!

\" Basically I\'m confused - I want a relationship that people don\'t class as pathetic but I don\'t know if that\'s what he wants.\"

Once again, why be in a relationship just for show?

A relationship isn\'t a fancy name brand purse to be flaunt around, it\'s not for \"social status.\" At least it shouldn\'t be.

You seem to want this because you are being told that it\'s what you should want and expect from a relationship.

So really think about this, do you want to be in this relationship because you don\'t want to be single and you want to be cool? Or because your boyfriend is a nice guy, you really like him, you are attracted to him on many levels and you guys just click? Which one is more appealing, which one do you think is best..

You two are people, not show dogs. You\'re not supposed to do things for show and make other people go OOOUH AAAAHH.

As for what he wants, you won\'t know unless you try to communicate and ask what he wants, what he feels and what he needs.

Keep spending time with him and when people start pointing out that your relationship isn\'t \"classified\" as a real relationship, tell them to shut up.

1. Just because you\'re not humping one another in public or maybe participating in PDA, does not mean your relationship isn\'t a real one

2. It\'s your first relationship for both, they shouldn\'t be so interested in your relationship anyways; tell them to worry about their own (and if they aren\'t in one, then that\'s a key right there to ignore them because lol)

And lastly,

3. The best relationships are the ones that feel like you\'re not even in one, by this I mean you\'re dating someone who feels like your other half, or someone who just gets you; someone whom when you\'re with them kinda just makes you forget that everyone else is around, and even if they don\'t like this person that you\'re with that doesn\'t matter because you do; you like them so much that you love them!

Yepyepyep, so there you sorry for my lengthy reply but I hope it helps, feel free to talk to me whenever you need advice (:

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K so a few months ago, there was this thing between me and this guy at school. He lead me on and and I initiated some as well. So when he made further plans if we could go on a date and stuff, i of course said yes. But then
when it came closer to the date, a few days before it he cancelled and bailed on me and said that he just couldn't go through with it at the moment cause he still had feelings for this girl that he never went out with. So of course I felt hurt and disappointed , but eventually I moved on and didnt give a crap about him. But then today, he came up to me after weeks of not talking to each other and asked if we could talk. He said that he did a lot of thinking and that he wanted to give us a try again and said that he was really sorry of what happened.
So then he asked if we could go on a date, and of course me not wanting to say no and disappoint him I said yes... It was a spur of the moment kind of thing . So now here after a few hours of thinking I just don't have a good feeling about it.. Like now I just keep doubting that I may not have that same strong feelings for him as before ... Help !
P.s that girl never liked him back in the first place and he supposedly told me that that girl now has a boyfriend and that he and her are now on good terms and are friends

Dates can only help you further you relationship, hangout and have fun. Get to know one another and in no time at all your heart will help you understand just how exactly you feel about him. Over thinking and analyzing can kill the "romance" when you start playing the "what if game," and create different scenarios that will confuse you and give you a reason to push away. If he's ready and willing to give it a go, then what's the harm. Take it slow, no rush. The fact that the other girl is on good terms with him, is just another reason for you to go ahead; She's not interested, it's free game.

Sorry I was late on replying
- Eli

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Hi Sophie,
I received your wonderful email and I replied but I have not heard from you!
Did you receive my email?
Jordan
jordan2011@mail.com

Please reply to my email
Jordan

Yes I did I will reply to you, later tonight!! Please be patient! (:

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Im an 18 year old female and a nympho. The other day I was really horny and my boyfriend was at work so I decided for some reason to look up lesbian porn and old men and young women porn to masturbate to. I'm not attracted to either,girls or older men. Later that night he asked to use my phone and let him,which was probably a mistake. He went to google and it showed the list of things I looked up such as lesbian porn and old men porn. I knew he saw it because it wasnt the last thing i looked up and when he saw it in the google window he clicked on it and left it on that site.The rest of the night it was awkward and then he started talking to me like nothing happened but I knew he saw it so I couldn't help but be quiet. Lastnight he texted me and asked why I was so quiet and I said because of what you saw..obviously. I don't know what to say or why I did it. I feel fucked up in the head for doing it and more the old men porn. Now he wants a few days for space to think. I'm fine with that but I feel like he just found out the biggest secret about me and I don't want him weirded out. Idk what to do or what to think. I love my boyfriend 100% and I don't want this ruin anything. I'm not a lesbian,never will be,I'm not attracted to older men..I just don't know why I looked up what I did..? Answers on all of this please

It's normal for people to be attracted to things that are "out of the ordinary," especially with such taboo topics like porn. It's a very perfectly healthy and normal thing to look up. Curiosity is responsible for such things, it's ok too. Don't feel abnormal or mentally unbalanced just because you found the thrill out of watching some girl on girl action or some oldermen getting into it. When it becomes an obsession, then that's when things should be looked after. Your best bet would be to allow the space your boyfriend wants and then after you when you're ready and comfortable you can try to explain things for him. Evenso, you shouldn't have to be guilty or forced to explain. But if you don't quite know what to say you can just tell him, it was a one time thing you were just curious. Then you can try to be more discreet about it and clean your history as well disable the Google auto fill/ recent search tool.

Well hope I helped.

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Need advice
I just turned 22 years old very devoted Muslim girl. I am married with a wonderful husband. He works in IT and I am a stay at home mom who is on the internet much too often. I am pregnant now :) I was raised in Jordan. We went to a very good school and Quran school. I learned to memorize most of the Quran at a young age. This is the first time I am opening up about this and REALLY need your advice/
My parents sent me to this Quran boarding school for girls for 3 months out of the year every year since I was very little (I was the only one accepted out of my family. my brothers and sisters leaned from the Mosque). I learned a lot. You see I lost my father when I was young (12 years) and the man who headed and taught the school and his wife where very helpful in helping me heal in ways no one ever did!! I loved my father, he was the greatest man I ever knew. I have 2 brothersand 1 sister all younger than me.
But Abu, the school mater, that trained me—he and I were very close, even sexually in that school. It sounds strange but we kept it secret. He was a very kind man who really knew how to teach well –whatever. His wife was the one who gave me birth control pills to save my family and myself the shame. She said she did it for other girls to. I am very grateful to her for being a mentor and confidant. We kept our sexual relationship till until my family moved to the UK. But this is a shameful thing in my past I don’t talk to people about it but now I have to because it is killing me inside. If my parents found out I would be dead DEAD. I learned ALOT about my body and sex and i am grateful to have learned these things from Abu. it was an amazing sexual experiuence over all. When I got married I lied to my husband like many of the girls I know to say I was a virgin. Otherwise I would never get married. The strange thing is that it has not bothered me or haunted me like I hear on Oprah and others who had these experiences. I do not have ill feelings toward this man and his wife. They are people I still respect because of how ethical and kind they have treated my family through out the years. They paid for all my education and my brothers and sisters as well. They provided meals for us when my mother did not have enough, etc. When we see them as a family we just pretend this stuff never happened. I never bring it up and he or his wife never do. . I asked around if anyone else had my experience and no one would talk about it. It is a very shameful thing for a Muslim Arab girl to talk about these things!! But my aunt, who is about my age, opened up to me and told me she had similar experiences with this man. She is also married now with three children and wants to leave the past in the past. She begged me not to tell anyone about him and to just leave things as they are since we both went through it and we turned out “OK”.
Her daughter, Cameron, my niece she is now in Jordan with my family and they are sending her to the same school to learn the Quran. Abu is still teaching there. My sister said it is best to not talk about it and let her experiernece life and sex and everything else like we did. My friends tell me to expose this man. It would be devastating to our family to bring this news out about what he did with me and the other girls because of the shame factor. I would never bring that kind of shame on him, my family or my religion. I respect him. Am I weird and crazy?? But I don’t know what to do because now Cameron is there and my family did not think twice about sending her to that school because it has such a good reputation. My American friends tell me to make my sister take Cameron out of that school as soon as yestersay. I feel so mistrable because of what they tell me I am wicked. But my experience was good over all at that school. But they make me feel horrible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am depressed about this. I really want Cameron to learn from this very good school and Abu, but I don’t know what to do!! Please help me from going crazy…I don’t know what to do..i need help to think about this.
PLEASE respond to jjordan2011@mail.com


Well, I can't really give much advice on what you should do. Since that's up to you, personally I think life will take it's coarse on it's own. So if you calling Abu out about what he has done, will make you feel just as terrible and depressed as you already say you are, then I don't see the point in adding a feeling of disgrace as well. Here in America, and most other countries I'm aware of (central/south america, I'm hispanic.) Will see Abu's action as rape, because he is a adult having sexual relations with "children." But if many girls have gone through this and not spoken up, including you then I'm not sure what to say. I would simply advice you to form a good relationship with your niece and constantly remind her that, "if there is anything at all she wants/needs to talk about or is confused/having problems with, that she can talk to you." That way you can atleast have a chance of knowing if the same happens to your niece. If it does and she tells you, what ever you decide to do is up to you.


I will tell you personally, if something a person does has hurt me or caused me any bit of stress/depression/problem, even if it was from years ago. I have noticed I always tell them about it, later on. And when I do, I feel better about it simply because I get to hear why they did it in the first place. I'm not telling you to go and talk to Abu, because it seems it would be awkward and maybe even rude/out of line? I'm not sure. But I am telling you that, the most important thing in my point of view is, making sure you're as happy and stress free as you can be. So if you decide not to tell anyone else about this and it continues to bother you than I suggest writing about it. Just to get out the feelings that pester you. That's what I do when I can't bring myself to talk about something with people.

With that all said, I hope this was remotely helpful in anyway. So luck to you.

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there's these two guys, and i like them both. Just about equal. One of them is really sweet and innocent (he hasnt even gone through puberty and doesnt have a dirty mind at all) and the other is kind of naughty but hes still really nice.. i love them both and they both asked me out and i dont know what to do. I always go back to the naughty one but i dont know what i should do now.. give the nice one a chance or do what i've been doing the whole time. By the way the cute one is in my grade but different school and the naughty one is the same school but a year older..

You sound young and the fact that the "nice one" hasn't hit "puberty" yet, I'll go with you're probably 13. So if the "naughty one" is perverted and such and you keep going back to him. Give the nice one a chance, the older one is most likely using you for play.

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i'm 18 years old and I haven't had feelings for a guy for about 5 months. I watch all these romantic movies and shows and I want a relationship. I've had a couple chances but once I went on a date with them I had no feelings for them. I liked the chase and once they had feelings for me I wanted nothing to do with them. The last boy I liked I had butterflies in my stomach whenever I thought about him or whenever I talked to him. I tried talking to my best friend, telling him that I didn't have any feelings for any boys but that I wanted a relationship. He thought I was trying to tell him I'm a lesbian or bi. I know I'm not a lesbian because I like guys, but I'm not sure if I'm completely straight, even though I've never had feelings for a girl. I was wondering if the reason I haven't liked a boy is because I also like girls, but I don't know if I like girls because I've never had any feelings for them. PLEASE HELP ME!

Well, you should next time add on to your past question instead of asking again. But anyway, with this additional information. Like I said, maybe you haven't met the right guy to make you feel like that again. If you've never liked a girl but you might think you like them, then you could be bi-curious. It's not necessary to label yourself as straight, bi, gay, lesbian, asexual or pansexual. Just be comfortable with who you are as person. As for wanting to feel those things, start going on dates. Until you fall for someone. Never lead a person on, it's not nice. " I liked the chase and once they had feelings for me I wanted nothing to do with them."

Good luck.

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what should i do if my mum calls me stupid should i run away from home?

Your mum calls you stupid so you're going to run away from home, that's quite intelligent. Why would your mum ever call you stupid?

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where can i et the operatio to have myhymen removed done at?

You need to first make an appointment with your doctor or gynecologist once they take a look and you tell them what has been happening, they'll then certify you to a proper surgeon.

Good luck (:

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Okay, we have a kinda long distance relationship. We’ve been together for about 3 months now. We go to the same school, but I live about an hour away. We’ve only been able to hang out 3 times this summer. Wednesday was the last time we hung out. We went to a park and had an amazing time, honestly it was one of the best days ever. Thursday we talked and said what a great day Wednesday was, along with out normal conversation, blah blah everything was fine. Friday I didn’t hear from him. (I don’t text him first because he lost his phone a while ago so he uses his brother’s phone sometimes and I’m never sure if he or his bro has his phone) So Saturday I still didn’t hear from him. He was online on Fb Saturday night so I said hey. It took him forever to respond, but he finally did. We did the short “whats up” intro conversation as always, but he seemed a little off. I asked him, “Are you okay?” and then he signed off for a while, then signed back on later and still never replied. I decided I would just wait and let him contact me now. However, just about an hour he made a Facebook status that said “**** this I give up!!” Now I don’t know if it’s even about me, I overthink everything and always jump to conclusions, but I’m really worried right now. What do you think is going on? I still haven’t heard from him and it’s driving me crazy. Advice? I’m just really scared, I don’t want to lose him. We normally talk every day.

What ever is happening, it's really being tough on him. He clearly wants his space, so give it to him. When he's ready he'll talk to you about it, then you can both work it out what ever it is. It might involve you or might not. Keep yourself occupied till then and be ready for what ever it is. Good luck.

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Let me start off by saying that I have been with this guy for just over 3 years.
I really do love him.
I trust him more than I ever have many close people in my life. He is definately one of my best friends. I hate the thought of ending our relationship, but the thought has crept into my mind over this summer.
The problem is, he is pushing our physical relationship more and more. I think he feels left behind because his friends that have been in relationships about the length of ours have all had sex. I was raised in a Christian home..and I've always wanted to wait till marriage. It didn't ever cross my mind to not think that till this past winter. All the sudden I understood his urges..And Its AWFUL to control. Over the summer we went to far. There was touching...and he did some oral stuff with his mouth...and i did the same for him. I actually hated it..I cried for a long time after that.. I tried to explain I wasn't ready..and for most of July I was hateing myself for what I let happen. I couldn't decide..and last weekend I gave in again...and I feel worse than ever because..Even though I want to believe He is the ONE...I'm only 18. I know I dont want to get married this early in my life..but I still have the problems that come with being a teen.
My question is really...what do I do now? I would break my own heart to loose him..but I don't know how to make it clear (for both of us) that we went to far. We tried talking..and he doesn't understand my reasoning for believing we went too far. I dont like the feelings I've got right now...but I want to work this out. I have a really great relationship.. depending on me to make this right. I really do love him...I just need some help..HELP?

So I take it you're very religious. I understand the mental anxiety of feeling guilty about doing something that was taught to you be seen as a sin, you can't keep beating yourself up about it. It's never to late to stop apologize and go on, what you need to do is first, stop thinking about what you did. The past is the past, you don't get do overs and you just have to face the fact that it happened. Move on, you focusing on one single thing you did "wrong" will not only destroy your relationship with your partner but with yourself as well. Your both feeling stressed out about it, since sex is basically everywhere you look. On t.v, in books, in advertisement and radio. If you feel moral strong about waiting till marriage let him know, he might not understand since he might have not been brought up the same way you were. The way you expect him to respect you and your beliefs you should respect his. If he loves you it will be hard on him but he will understand. You're both very young, however I won't tell you that sex before marriage is ok or not, what you need to do is do what you feel comfortable with. And stop looking at everything with a all or nothing view, tell him how you feel and what you're thinking, how you can both make things work together and if things get a little frantic. Leave it be. Don't let one little slip up be the end of your world and his, because we aren't perfect. Why do you think there are so many different cultures and religions, they're all suited to work best for every other individual. Good luck to you.

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What does it mean for my boyfriend to say I am too emotionally immature for sex? I don't act immature at all. I'm more mature than he is around people. Why'd he say that

He might just think you're not ready, especially if you and your boyfriend are at a very young age. Maybe your relationship isn't ready to move to that level. He might just be teasing you as well. If he's telling you to wait, ask why. You'll never fully know if you don't ask.

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Hey, 23/f here. The guy in question is my age.

I hate myself for even letting this be an issue, but it is. My ex, who I had to leave about a year ago because he physically abused me, was a better kisser. Like, he kissed me the way I always dreamed my "prince charming" would, and it was heaven, and I hate him for it. I used to feel like I could do nothing but kiss him forever and I'd be happy. For some reason, kissing has always been a huge, huge thing for me, and I can't get past it.
This new guy (who I've been seeing for a month or so (but we have a history; he's an old friend from high school)) is incredible - he's sweet, he's funny, he's understanding, he's not jealous, he's gentle, he's intelligent...he's just not as good a kisser.
I've never been in a position where I had to improve a guy's technique, so to speak...and if I ever was, it used to be a dealbreaker for me. I kind of feel like I'm never going to have the feelings that I had with my ex again as far as the kissing goes, but I feel like this guy could at least be a little better...Maybe it's selfish of me, but I want to enjoy kissing this guy more. I can't even quite put my finger on what it is that bothers me...Lips aren't too stiff, he doesn't use too much tongue...nothing like that.
Part of it is probably that he has some facial hair, which pokes me a little...but he does winter sports and that helps keep his face warm, lol, so I don't want to ask him to get rid of it...besides, it's cute on him.

How do I improve his kissing technique without directly teaching him? Without insulting him, or anything?

Any tips, I imagine, could be helpful. Thanks! :)

I don't even think your ex is an issue. What the problem really is, is you're not getting a feeling of satisfaction from your partner. Telling him you don't like the way he kisses you will hurt his ego, so you should use your flirtatious girl power and trick him into slowly learning what you like. For example when you're cuddling together kiss him but very softly and gently on the corner of his mouth, then pull away and smile. He should initially follow and you can start this sort of kissing game, let him know what you like with subtle moans. And if he does something wrong punish him, like a light smack. It's like foreplay! (;

Good luck

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Do it make your sex partner feel better if u moan alot

You should never fake anything during sex, otherwise you'll never let your partner know what you really like. But to answer you question, yes it will probably make him feel like he's satisfying you, even if he's not.

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19/m

So, I just started college and there are a ton of cute guys that I want to talk to, my only problem is that I am too freaked out! There are two or three guys that I would like to try talking to, but I am too afraid to approach them. How do I just walk up to a guy and start talking to him? What should I say? I know for sure that one of them is guy, the others I am almost certain that they are gay. I just don't know how to walk up to them and talk to them. I am not a shy person, I just don't know how to meet people or intrdouce myself. I am so afraid that I will come across as immature or stupid. Any advice?

Easy as one, two, three.
Hi, hey, what's up?

Don't think too much, just go with it. You're only holding yourself back by over thinking it all.

You can't start a friendship/relationship, if you never say one single word to the person.

Good luck.

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My name is Mercedes and I am 19 year old female. When I have sex with my boyfriend, I tend to bleed heavily even after we are finished working in the bed. Am I ok or is this very serious?

If it 'causes you intense pain than no you are not ok. Either way, pain or not, excessive bleeding is never good. It could be you hymen isn't broken all the way, some girls hymen are thicker and others so it might be open just a bit, not broken all the way, so you're bleeding from being penetrated and broken all the way. Sometimes you need to have it surgically removed, but you won't really know if you don't go to your doctor or gynecologist. Good luck.

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