I give my friends a lot of advice on a variety of different things and while I'm at work, I tend to be quite bored and don't have much to do so I was surfing the net and found this site and thought it might be interesting. I've been through a lot...so I think I can help some people out...
...hablo espanol
...je parle francais
Gender: Female
Location: Currently South FL (also have lived in CA, NJ and Spain)
Occupation: Paralegal
Age: 26
AIM: brookestraw9
Member Since: October 28, 2004
Answers: 69
Last Update: September 14, 2005
Visitors: 5933
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How can you hint to a guy, that you like him? (link)
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Guys are slow at catching onto these things...I'd suggest just outright telling him. Over the years I've learned being upfront is the best way to deal with it. Not only do you save yourself the stress of wondering day and night if you might have a chance with him...but you get immediate gratification from a response from him. If it's bad, well you'll be upset, but then you can move on knowing you never missed your chance. You can flirt to your heart's content and maybe he's one of the sharper ones and he'll catch on. You can always take the more abrupt, but still not revealing your feelings approach, ask him to something that would involve just the two of you but wouldn't seem too suspicious. It also depends on how much you speak to him. If he barely knows you're there you have to make him start noticing you...not buy dressing differently, but if he's in your class or something (For example) try to initiate a conversation. Even glancing at him and making a face in response to a comment someone makes in class is usually the easiest way to initiate interaction. Just some ideas. But do keep in mind, they are actually quite simple minded and prefer to be told things straight out, whether they'll admit that or not. Good luck and i hope you get him and that he deserves you.
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Hoe do I break up with a guy with out hurting him too much? Especially if he's kinda sensitive, because I don't wanna deal with the emotional roller-coaster that I've been riding lately, and I don't think either of us are really mature enough for a relationship at this point, but how do I tell him all this without bruising his ego or breaking his heart or something? (link)
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Breaking it off kindly is not always the easiest thing to do. If you're too nice, the guy will hang around you and still have hopes that you two will get back together. Then again I can understand you not wanting to hurt his feelings. I have several times tried to take the nice way out and say you need time to think about the relationship...I would advise against that. Just tell him that you're not ready for a relationship, you have too many other things in your life at the moment. If you don't want to bruise his ego, bruise your own. Place the blame all on yourself and say he was perfect but you have some things that you need to work out. Assure him there is no one else on your mind (even if there is) and tell him that you just need time to yourself. Do not leave him with any false hopes of the two of you getting back together. Breaking up is a pain and I wish for once a guy would do me the favor first...I try so hard to make them first but I never luck out. Good luck. I'm still trying to get out a measley 4 month relationship...he's a bit crazy...one thing in my favor is he's from Brazil and he goes back there tomorrow since he was only here for me. Take care
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Hi,
I am over a week late on my period but I don't know yet if I am pregnant. My bf and I use condoms all the time now and the couple times we haven't I have had a period since then. I know that condoms aren't one hundred percent effective always and I have been having some symptoms of pregnancy but would I have them this early? If I am pregnant then I am only about a month then I guess...or less than that..Lately I have had this feeling of nausea in my throat but I don't get sick (vomit). And it's not really bad all day or anything. And the passed couple of days the smells of some foods have made me nauseous. It was simple foods too. The smell of a salad dressing, a taco, and fish. Things I normally like but at the time I couldn't stand the smell of:S Is there any other reason that I might have these symptoms besides being pregnant? I am only going to wait about another week or so and then go to the DR because if I am not pregnant I need to know what is wrong with me because I am usually pretty normal with my periods.
If anyone who has been pregnant has any input I would really appreciate it. I'll rate you.
Thanks (link)
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If you are usually pretty regular and are already a week or more late, I would recommend taking a pregnancy test, you can just pick one up at the store if you don't want to schedule a dr's appt. They're reasonably accurate and it'll at least calm your nerves. The problem is you can contribute most of the symptoms of pregnancy to your pending period or possibly stress, which could be caused by your concern. Unfortunately since you are sexually active and NO NO NO condoms are not 100% effective, nor is birth control...it is a possibility, so I would definitely get checked out to be on the safe side. If you have any other questions, or need some other advice, please do not hesitate to ask.
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I dont want to make out with my boyfriend but everytime i want to kiss him he trys to stick his tounge in my mouth. it kinda grosses me out. but lately ive been wanting to kiss him. how can i tell him i just want to kiss him but not make out?
CiArA (link)
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If it grosses you out then one of you is doing something seriously wrong...but that should improve with a little practice. You don't necessarily have to tell him what to do (although that would be a quick solution to this...just be upfront and tell him to stop sticking his tongue down your throat until he learns to kiss properly, preferably from you). Show him. If he tries to stick his tongue in your mouth...push it out with your tongue or close your lips tight. You can always pull slightly away. He'll get the hint. But seriously one day you have to take that step though and let him stick his tongue in your mouth and from my personal experience when I was young, if he doesn't knwo how to do it properly...RUN!!!! haha. Just try to show him what you like. You should not be gagging on his tongue!!! Guys are clueless fools and need to be shown everything. He should not just be trying to ram his tongue down your throat anyways, that's no fun. Or as someone suggested before just bite it...haha...it works. He'll react quickly and his tongue will most likely never be in your mouth again.
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Well.. i'm dating this kid named Eric and I really like Eric, hes like a really good friend of mine. We started dating on Tuesday, and now I just don't like him as a boyfriend anymore. Everytime I date a guy I can't seem to like them more then 2 days, Is there something wrong with me?? Is this normal? Should I keep dating Eric.. or do you think I actually don't like him?? * (link)
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I know what you mean. You think you'd like him as a boyfriend and build it up in your mind that that's what you'd like with him and when it comes down to it you realize that maybe you were wrong. I wouldn't advise continuing to date him. If you don't like him like that, what's the point? If you think it might hurt your friendship, well you can try talking to him and explaining it to him. When I was young...like middle school and elementary school I'd keep having these boyfriends and after a couple days I'd decide...no I didn't want that. Now I've grown up and at 22, I've come up with my own solution, date, but don't commit...after two days you should never already know that he's your boyfriend that complicates things. You should actually DATE him before you call him your boyfriend. I know when you're younger it doesn't make much sense to just date and not call him your boyfriend, but that's how its done. You're supposed to test it out before you commit, to prevent situations like the one you're in. I hope things work out and you at least keep your friend. But, try not to date your close friends...its really a bad bad idea, friends are forever...boyfriends certainly are not. :) cheesy but true
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Hey, i was wondering if you guys coulg give me your own opion on this...
what do u think about big age differences between people? like what is the highest age difference you can go out with. Hope i make sence here. you kno like auston ketcher and that peoson hes dating how shes way older then him.
thanks
i rate
(link)
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For me I've always liked a decent age difference between myself and my boyfriends. I just know I'm more mature than most guys my age and I tend to get along better with older guys. My friends are all also older. Age in the end really makes no difference as just a number. What matters is how the person acts. For example, I'm 22 and my best friend is 30, you would never guess she's 30, she looks young and acts young. Her husband though is the shocker, he's 42 and lots of fun and a nice guy. I go over to their house and just hang out and talk. When I was 18 I dated a 24 year old...19 another 24 yr old...20-21 my boyfriend was 26...and now I'm dating a guy who is 27. I dated a couple 22 and 23 year olds in the past couple months, but their priorities were different than mine and honestly they hadn't lived quite as much as I have. Its not like I act old and boring...I party like no one and not many can keep up, but I've traveled a lot and I consider myself to be very well educated and a good conversation is very important to me, I can get sex from any guy...as can all women. Anyways...Enough said...age doesn't matter...well after 18 at least. if you meet a guy/girl twice your age and have a connection...who cares, go for it. Don't stress. Hope I was of some help. take care.
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I fall for men to quickly and then end up getting hurt. It is usually when you like a guy they don't feel the same way or vice versa. Now, I don't technically like someone right now, but I'd like to find someone I can spend time with and get to know so that I know something will happen. Any adive? I am nice, attractive, open minded, opinionated, spiritual, funny, love sports, love to talk, and just have a good time. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, but there has to be something. People are always telling me how beautiful I am, and then they end up asking me why I don't have a BF, and I ask myself the same questions. Thanks! (link)
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I used to do the same exact thing, but now I'm a cold hearted bitch, but that's for other reasons. I too fall hard for guys, but now I've learned to not believe a word they say to me. I keep them at a distance at first and get to know them before I make up my mind. Rather than sit and think about how perfect of a couple we'd make I think about his faults and how I'd be able to deal with them. If you fall too quickly, next time you meet a guy concentrate more on his flaws than his attributes, it'll keep your mind a little clearer. After you get to know him, if you see those flaws really aren't so big, and also that he sees no major flaws in you, then you might be able to work somethng out. If a guy off the bat makes any critical comments about you...whether it be intelligence, attractiveness...etc. whatever, be cautious. He might not say it outright but he'll give you clues and if that happens it means the odds of the relationship lasting longer are very slim. :) I also like to give guys a speech before we start "dating" sort of a warning. TElling them that if they lie or hurt me in any way they'll be castrated. Its best to keep guys on their toes. I really am a great gf and totally devoted, but he has to know how things work and I can get a bit of his character before I fall for him. I have a serious of mind games I play with them before i decide if I can continue dating them. About getting guys, honestly if you are all those things you say you are, they should come to you. It's difficult to find the right guy, but just give it some time and he'll come along. Slap the next person who asks why you don't have a boyfriend. :) or tell them you like your freedom. I hopee I could help some. Take care and good luck.
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Hi
I'm very confused about my boyfriend as he is causing chaos in my life and I'm not sure what to do. I've been going out with him for 3 years and the first year was great, although we both had partners when we got together. He has a history of cheating on his girlfriends and treating them badly but I was prepared to give him the benefit of the doubt as he treated me so well. He was sweet, funny, attentive but the more I got to know him I realised that he wasn't the same person I thought I knew. He was also an amphetamine addict who eventually gave up and then was diagnosed with depression.
When I moved in with him last year I found him to be lying constantly, playing mind games, criticising me, being moody, shouting and blaming me for things that go wrong in his life. He has called me names, told me lies that are so obvious yet protests he's telling the truth. I also suspected he was having an affair with a woman around the corner from us which all the evidence pointed to. At the same time he was Mr Charming to everyone else as he manipulated people into thinking that he was a victim, and seemed to have this double personality.
I became so miserable and insecure that I moved out and 55 miles away to live with my parents, which he didn't seem to be bothered about. However within a few days he was ringing me, cying that he couldn't live without me, so I agreed to see him at weekends to help him through his depression. I was seeing him every weekend since May this year but he has only visited me 3 time in all that time, making excuses that he has no money (more lies). Then he hires cars for the weekend occasionally out of spite to prove that he indeed has money but still pretends he can't afford it! When I'm there he acts aloof and doesn't appreciate how much effort and money I spend to see him and doesn't make me feel special or loved. Yet when I'm away and refuse to answer his telephone calls he bombards me with phone calls making false promises of moving to be with me. He goes out with his friends drinking but when I visit he never seems to have any money to do anything and constantly complains about how worse off he is. I feel like I'm going mad as he acts like a different person, depending who he is with at the time. He even lies about when he sees his family and withholds conversation from me about their lives so I never know what he really does from one day to the next except what he wants to tell me.
Recently he sold his house at auction and made £60,000 but has nowhere to live and claims that he sold the house for my benefit!! He says he still can't afford to see me. The only thing he is interested in is me buying a house with him, but I don't even feel like he is my boyfriend who loves me. He has a history of bad credit and a CCJ. Should I trust him or is he using me? Why does he play these mind games with me and expect me to see him with promises he never keeps? Should I just dump him?
Thanks
Nicky (link)
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Hi Nicky,
I'm sorry to hear about your current situation. Personally, I wouldn't trust the guy. His past record doesn't speak to highly of him. I'm sorry, but yes it does seem like he's using you. You seem like an intelligent and extremely nice person and deserve far better than him. You don't deserve to be treated like this. The smartest decision you made was moving out in the first place. Don't go back on that. Definitely do not buy a house with him. He seems very unstable and you never want to get involved with a liar either, especially when money is also coming into play. For me at least, trust is the most important thing, if you break that, its over. People can change a little, but not much and once a liar always a liar. All his talk about money just makes me nervous and telling you he sold his house for you??? I'm sorry but it seems to me like this guy only does things for himself. His little mind games should not be tolerated. You do't deserve to be treated like that. There are plenty of nice guys out there. So dump the jerk and move on with your life. Most importantly, if you do decide to break up with him, cut off contact with him. If need be change your number. Otherwise he's going to continue and I, from personal experience, know that its REALLY easy to fall hard on old habits. If he tries to make you feel guilty for anything, remember that you are only responsible for yourself and if he's depressed, let him deal with it. I know its hard because I imagine you care for him a great deal, but he's no good for you. Move on with your life and leave him to do whatever he's going to do, just don't let him bring you down with him. I hope I was of some help. Take care.
~Brooke
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I just turned 25, i am single and have a 2 year old daughter. Alot of people find me attractive, but I am completly insecure of myself. I am addicted to attention from males. I fall for a guy very fast and are always too nice. I just cant ever tell if the guy really likes me or is just playng around so I dont stop looking for the right man. I am seeing someone right now and like hom very much but he can be so distant and hard to read. He's very nice and we see eachother often, but why doesnt he show more interst in being with me. He tells me iam hot and we have been intamate but I cant tell how he feels about me, does he want to be exclusive or doesnt he can i ask without freaking him out? either way i would still see him I just dont know what to do. (link)
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I wouldn't know anything about having a child and still trying to date, I can imagine how difficult that must be. Your addiction to attention from males is something you should probably work on, if its getting in the way of caring for your daughter, but from what I can tell, that's not even an issue. About this guy, I would talk to him about it. I personally don't like being the situation of not knowing where the relationship is going. I actually went through this last weekend (unfortunatley now, I know this routine too well). I have been dating a guy on and off now for about a month, we've been intimate and he tells me how crazy he is about me and talks about things in the future with us, which is always a good thing for him to do. Still I wasn't sure what we were, if I should still be dating other guys. SO, I have problems talking face to face and am much better at expressing myself in writing. I emailed him all the issues and outlined everything that was going on in my mind. We talked about it this week and by being honest and upfront with him he gave me an honest and upfront response. We're working on things and what happens happens. If you get the feeling that he's really not into you like he should be, or if your relationship is strictly just intimate and there's not much of anything else then maybe he's just not into you. I wouldn't buy into all that crap, like that new book He's Just Not Into you, or whatever it's called, all guys are different...but there are some out there who are just looking for an easy piece of ass and you have to make sure that that's not what you are to him. I hope I was of some help. Good luck with everything. And if all else fails, take your daughter out somewhere fun and cheer yourself up.
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Ok, do all guys wait for GIRLS to make the first move? I mean, i kno this guy likes me but he wont make a move. what should i do with him? (link)
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No, not all guys wait for girls to make the first move. As they get older you'll notice that they take the liberty of making the first move ALL the time whether you like it or not. If the guy really is so shy and immature that he won't do it, then by all means go for it. I've had to do it before. Just place yourselves in a situation where it is completely unavoidable. I was going out with this guy and by the 3rd date he still hadn't made a move, even though it was obvious we had this amazing connection and attraction (lust is a bad bad thing though)...so the next time I made our plans and made him meet me for dinner and then for a walk at the beach (Thank god for nice weather and beaches in SoFl I can use this one any time of year). Moonlit beach, unavoidable hook up. From then on he loosened right up. :) Sometimes you have to be dominant and make him do what you want. Some guys like that for some reason. BUT you should not always be the one making the move...if a guy wants you, he needs to work for it and make the effort. All you have to let him know is that you're ready and waiting. :) Hope I was of some sort of help. Take care.
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I'm kind of in between liking this guy and knowing nothing will ever happen. Any ideas to either stop thinking about it or convince myself that i could make it work?
thank you so much to whoever answers
(link)
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I've been in your position many times and am still in the same position. It makes it worse though because my guy also happens to be my best friend. For me, the only way I've ever been able to get over liking a guy, since it takes a lot for me to be crazy about a guy, is to find another guy to get my mind off of the other one. So now I'm dating two, well three I guess, guys. You might have to go through a few before you find the one that will completely get your mind off of the other one, but in the meantime find a new guy and even if you don't like him as much...keep reminding yourself of all the faults the other guy had, he's human he had some!!! Take care.
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I have a new boyfriend at university, but I find myself keeping this news from my friends at home because I don't want it to get back to my ex-boyfriend, becase he is in a very fragile place at the moment and it would really hurt him to find out that I've moved on to somebody else. What I'm trying to do is protect my ex-boyfriend, because I still care about him and don't want to hurt him any more than is necessary, but I feel bad for misleading him and my other friends. Would it be better to just come clean, even if it hurts him in the short term, or should I wait until he's in a better place until I break the news? (link)
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If you don't tell your friends and ex now they might feel betrayed by you later for keeping a secret from them. However, its not really their business. If they ask don't lie, but you don't need to go out of your way to tell them. Let them mention it first if that's easier.
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Well, to start it off I'm 17/f.. and i'm gay, recently out of denial lol... But since then there's been this girl who you can easily tell by the way she is (short hair, built, style) that she is definitely gay and I'm so incredibly interested in her. But she's a freshman in college and I'm a senior in high school and never see her. We talk here and there onlnie but it's never really personal enough to get into details about her and evertyhing and the convos are 9 times out of 10 cut really short... But to cut to teh chase, I don't think seh knows that I'm gay and I'm not the type of person to just come out and say it, since it's pretty new to me. Do you have any suggestions on how I can get the hint across?
P.S. I plan on going to the college she's at (not b/c she's there but b/c I really liked it and I actually only got to know her better from seeing her there b/c I only knew her from 1 sball game against her) So if you think I should just wait until next year to actually pursue it, that's fine. I just want to know what you think.. (link)
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Be honest. Tell her that you are gay and see her reaction. If you can't tell her face to face, then tell her online. If it freaks you out, send the message and then minimize the conversation until you are ready to deal with it. To keep it from sounding like just a random revelation, someone mentioned that you ask about clubs at the college, that's a great thing to do. Trying to come up with subtle ways of getting the message across will just be more complicated. Everyone appreciates honesty and someone who is upfront. Take care and good luck!!!
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ok ladies i need your help haha,
ok every girl has worn lipstick at least once in their life, but what if youre about to have a makeout session with your boyfriend while wearing lipstick, doesnt it get all over his face or something, and make a big mess? well, please help quickly! i kinda need help NOW!
thanks! (link)
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That's part of the fun!!! Make a mess. Actually unless you put it on right before you see him and you use a lot, then most likely it won't make much of a difference. Just a little smudge and that's no big deal. Lip gloss is always a nice alternative to lipstick anyways, especially for kissing, little mess and much softer lips. Revlon has this new lip gloss...I forget the name exactly and I left mine at home, but I highly recommend it, its a little rectangular tube and its great. the first night i wore it tons of guys commented on what beautiful lips I have...and i have tiny lips.
On a side note...a little lipstick on his face is not as bad as it could be. This past weekend I met up with my guy for a quickie and he happened to have his face painted red and I forgot about how messy it is...and ended up with a bright red face. I looked like an idiot, but hey it was worth it. Its hard to embarass me anyways.
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Well my boyfriend is acting really strange...well he always act like he doesnt want to do anything with me i always have to make the plans...he doesnt call me....he doesnt ask to meet me places accept for at times that is really not a good time...and i call him all the and he doesnt pick up unless i send a text message saying PICK UP YOUR PHONE...and i think that is very unacceptable i dont want to take up tooo muck of your time but please help HELP (link)
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We are not meant to chase after guys like that. I have had so many guys pull that with me. He usually is the one who started the relationship and so in the beginning he calls all the time and eventually I start calling occasionally...then he gets used to it and its always my responsibility to call. As things go on, he stops picking up his phone and makes up random ass excuses why he didn't pick up. I get pissed and just end it...and they wonder why. I have a list of guys calling and there is no reason why I should run after one fool because he likes to be chased. Don't call him. If he's your boyfriend he should be more considerate. Threaten him and tell him that if he doesn't change its over. If he refuses to change, move on. Now some guys are just like that by nature...but they're not going to improve...so if it already annoys you now...think about it a long time from now. I can't deal with irresponsibility...so those guys are immediately crossed off my list. Be confident always and know that things should either be equal (with regards to calling and making plans) or if anything he should be chasing after you. That's the ways its always been and how it always should be. A bit old fashioned, but its the truth.
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ok, i had been liking this guy, and i told him that i liked him in a note, but now i havent a clue what to say to him. i feel like such an idiot..im not very good at this sort of thing. i dont know what to do. should i just let it go and hope he brings it up sometime, or do I bring it up, since i am the one who wrote the darn thing. please help me!! im stuck in the middle..i talk to him, but just about everyday stuff and its driving me crazy. thanks guys, y'all are awesome! (link)
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The ball is in his court. If he likes you let him do something. If he doesn't like you back then he won't do anything, so just move on and find another hottie. :) No sense in wasting your time, there are plenty of other guys out there.
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i didnt know where to put this but when you get your braces off, how do they do it and does it hurt? thanks :) (link)
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Getting your braces off doesn't hurt at all. It feels funny. They basically take pliers and pull them off. It just feels like a tug each time they do it. Afterwards your teeth will feel all funny and slimey. But its great. No big deal. Ahhh the rubber bands...I had to wear those for a while. I hated them. Each person is different with how long they have to wear them. Its to realign your jaw, like ifyou have an over/underbite...so if your jaw moves quickly then you don't have to wear them as long. I hated braces and had them for a little over a year...went through a lot of pain and suffering, but the day they came off it was nothing. No worries, it all pays off in the end. Just make sure you wear your retainer when they're off, you wouldn't want to have to go through the process again. :)
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Should i ask out a girl everyone hates in school? (link)
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Find out why everyone hates her first, ask the intelligent people though. There might be something about her that you wouldn't want to get mixed up in. If its just childish stuff, then go for it. Do what makes you happy and screw the rest of the school. :)
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I like this guy named Matt and we just recently started talking but ive known him for about 2 mounths in 5th period we always talk to eachother over the internet ( the class is keyboarding) and he always says stuff like I love you and Will U marry me and stuff like that Im trying to figure out what this means
Also in 1st and 3rd he sits accross the room and he stares at me alot PLEASE dont delete this I am really confused! (link)
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Does he ever talk to you besides on the internet??? I love you and will you marry me??? Ahh...one of two things, either the boy is seriously twisted in the head and actually believes these things...or he is just messing with you. Pay no attention to him. If he writes anything again on the Internet, tell him if that's true then he can say it to your face and otherwise ignore him. Boys are idiots, no matter what age. :)
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i meen i really want a boyfriend but i guess im can be picky about who i like , some of my friends will go out with sum 1 that they have very little feelings for but i want to go out with some i really lik e but i dont liek anyone in my shcool and theres jsut no one thats i liek yet i jsut wish i would find him is this ok should i look harder be less picky or will i find him (link)
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Be picky!!! IT'll be well worth your wait!!! If you have high standards it means you are intelligent and by no means should you settle for someone below par. :) Eventually you'll realize that people aren't perfect and you do have to put some things aside, but until you figure out what is insignificant don't change your standards. If you're still in High school or below...no worries...life changes after high school and those guys before, won't even matter. I didn't date in high school because my standards were high and I knew I had no intentions of staying local afterwards, so I lived up the time with my friends. It was a lot less stressful and I was able to concentrate on school. When I got to college I went wild though and have been enjoying it ever since and dating guys up to my standards. They exist, trust me. Good luck
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