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advice

Okay this is mostly just for guys,

When you ask a girl to date you, or consider that you and another girl are dating, do you usually see other people too? The guy im "dating" doesnt call us gf/bf, but tells everyone were dating... please help, im so confused as to what i am to him...

When you're boyfriend and girlfriend it usually means that the two of you are pretty exclusive.

When you're dating one is allowed to go and date other people, because it's a way of getting to know people.

Usually after a few dates people decide if they'd like the person they're dating to be their boyfriend/girlfriend. It's just a way of seeing what's out there in this world.

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I'm male, 17, and in high school.

Two of my friends, let's call them Enrique and Polly, went out for about nine months. Enrique is probably my best friend, and during this time, I became good friends with Polly as well. Recently (a few months ago or so), they broke up, and they've both gone through ups and downs, getting back together, breaking up again, dating other people, etc. Finally, it seems that they've really broken it off. I hang out with both of them a lot, but separately, because they feel awkward together. And I'm starting to get the impression that Polly likes me.

Now, the complicated part. I've had a purely physical (f-buddy) relationship with a girl I know, let's call her Edna, for the past month or so. We've made out many times and had sex once, and the tricky part is that we're both emotionally shy, and I'm not sure how she feels about me. She may want something more out of the relationship, and I'm confused as to whether she just wants an open thing going like we already have or if she would care if I dated someone else.

Unfortunately, long story short, Polly and I ended up making out. We got caught up in the moment and a lot of feelings came out, but now I'm in an unusual place. Polly feels that we need to tell Enrique. Enrique is going to be very upset when he hears this. As an added element, I'm worried about what Edna will think, since I'm not sure what she wants out of our relationship. I'm really confused as to what I should do here.

I lost my bestfriend of seven years to an ex girlfriend of mine, because he lacked the balls to actually talk to me about what happened, and I harbored ill feelings towards him for quite a while. Talk to him first. If he doesn't like the idea of you going out with Polly, then don't go out with Polly for his sake, because if you do what kind of friend are you? A bad one, right? Now, that a year has passed since the falling out of the two most important people of my life is over, I'm happy for them, and maybe just maybe Enrique won't care that you like her, and he'll respect that you like her. Either way someone's bound to be labeled as the bad friend someway, somehow.

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simple question, long story behind it, but i want to know, what do girls want in guys?

From a guy to another guy, girls just want someone to take advantage of and someone to walk all over. They only end up caring about themselves, and their needs, and never care about what males care about.

They're all about power, and feeling more superior to guys.

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I'm 17. I've been dating my boyfriend for 4 months now. He's 24, and things couldn't be better. One problem. He's married to another woman. I had NO idea he was married when we got together 4 months ago. Had I known then what I know now, I wouldn't have ever kept up contact with him. So, I know, but he doesn't know I know. And I'm guessing the wife has NO idea about his infedility. I've known this for about two weeks. I taped us "in the act", in case I ever needed proof.



Question is: how should I go about handling this?

Should I bring it up to HIM first?

Should I somehow tell his WIFE? And if you think I should do that, in what form of communication do you think would be best?

Do you think I should just end the relationship suddenly without mentioning it to him, and then stay the hell away, or what?



I would like to know if MY significant other were up to no good. I know it's not so much my business, but I would have trouble living with myself knowing I kept such a drastic secret from a woman who has every right to know. :(

Look at it this way.
Even if he chooses you over his wife for some miraculous reason, he'll probably end up cheating on you, because he cheated on his wife. Once a cheater, always a cheater, and sometimes it takes a while to figure that out.

I'd just tell him off, and tell him if he wants to be an ass about it, and harrass you, that you'd be more than glad to tell his wife about your little escapades.

Hell, maybe you can get some money out of him for the tape.

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okay i was looking under columists and yours was the first on there so i have a question for you... okay i really like this boy and i wanna ask him out but im afraid he'll say no...He used too like me and them i started liking him and a week later he stopped liking me after he found out i liked him!! he RLY flirts with me A LOT and no one else...i was thinking about asking his best friend which is my cousin if he thinks that this boy will say yes and if he says he'll say yes then what would i say to this boy? i really need help here

You know to be honest, just being upfront about asking him out would probably be best. Take a shot. If he says no, it's no biggie, you'll find someone who will be interested in you, eventually. Seriously, when I beat around the bush, and hinted it never helped, and usually people don't like that kind of thing, because then themselves they're not sure if you're into them or not.

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what if your boyfriend does not know your kissing his best friend and me and his friend act wierd around him

I've been on the receiving end of this.

It'll ruin his life.
Seriously, having the two closest people in his life turning their back on him?
Wow.

He'd probably be crushed.
Just knock it off, and not do it again.
Forget it ever happened.

If you can't, then tell him that you'd rather be mackin' on his friend, and let him hate the both of you.

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I was at temple (weird place ofr this) and this girl was like flirting with all the boys. Shes so outgoing and I cold see it in the boys eyes that they liked what she was doing. She would like go up to them and say "How many girls want you?" things like that. I would never act like that and I was wondering why guys ONLY like girls who play with them? I wish boys would just flirt with me, then I would feel confident flirting back. So, BOYS out there...do you only like flirtacious girls??

Pretty much. For me.
I don't wanna go up to a girl, and try and flirt with her, and realize she wants nothing to do with me.

I suppose it goes the same for you, huh?

It's just an endless cycle.

Maybe if you drop a few one liners here and there, and show some interest to boys they'll come and flirt with you. Trust me.

Even the most hideous boys and girls get someone.

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ok the other day i was a t home (i live with my freind and her fiance temporarily) and we werw all at home when a friend of her fiance's came over. and later that night he tried to kiss me when we were alone (my freind had went upstairs to get soem cards and her fiance went to the bathroom) and he tried to kiss me. now mind you i have a boyfreind alreay, and what the guy did made me really uncomfortable. now mind you he didnt ACTUALLY kiss me, but he tried. i was able to "get away" if you will before he atually kissed me. but my question is, should i tell my boyfriend and if so how? i mean i know he is gonna wanna kill the guy for laying his hands on me, adn then he is gonna be upset b/c he wasnt there to protect me. how should i handle this i dont know what to do. i mean i dont want to tell him b/c i dont want to get him upset. and i dont want to not tell him, becuase omissions are betrayals. help me please!!!

You didn't betray your boyfriend in any matter.
You handled yourself very well, and personally, I wouldn't speak of it.

If you really feel the urge to tell him inform him of what you informed us.

State that you got away, and nothing happened. You won't be around him alone again.

Your boyfriend should understand. He should be proud that you can handle your own.

I mean, if he feels that he must protect you at all times he must have a problem with the validity of his manhood.

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Is it true if you ignore a guy, chances are he'll want you more?
It sounds strange, LOL.

Guys, they never seize amazing me.

I'm a guy, and if I were ignored, I'd quit.
My brother would quit. My best friend said he'd quit.

Guys are lazy.

I'm sure there are some exceptions to the rules, but I believe those are far and few between.

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I have a VERY personal question that i find embarrassing to ask friends. When a girl is giving you head, are you supposed to tell her when you're going to ( you know ) To me this is what you should do, but is it normal to do that. How do girls feel about this?

PLEASEE HELP

Most girls like to know so they don't have to...consume semen.

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I had dinner with a friend of mine and at the end of the meal I applied a fresh coat of lipgloss. I looked up at him while doing this and he was gazing deeply into my eyes. The gaze lasted for about 10 seconds and he looked like he was getting turned on. Then I started sucking on a sucker that the restaurant gave us and he told me I had a sucker fetish.
Does this mean he thinks of me as more than a friend? Because it sure felt that way to me.

Dinner with a friend? Haha, no offense.

Guys are only friends with girls AFTER girls make it clear that a boy cannot get with them.

If you haven't come out and said "Hey we're only friends" he still thinks there's a chance of fooling around with you.

Trust me. All of my friends would agree with me.

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ok, heres the thing, i have a gf, but people tell me she dont really lik me, then other people tell me shes crazy bout me. i kno im crazy bout her, i love her. wut do i do? who do i listen 2? then people r tellin me she likes this other guy also. wtf do i do?

Ask her.
Then make your best judgement.
People talk a lot, and hardly any of it is true.
Just go straight to the horses mouth.

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do guys suck each other at sleep overs as dares? my boyfriend did and i dont think its normal?

Yeah, we do it all the time.
Just kidding. Finish reading, please.

Yes, guys spend the night at each others houses.
Yes, I guarantee you older more mature guys would suck another guy for a million dollars.

I presume he was kidding.
Maybe you should confront him about it and see if he's telling the truth, and if he is hell bent on that, I suggest you seek another boyfriend that is more dedicated to you.

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Hi, I am a 17 yr old male who has a problem. My g/f head over heels in love with me. She claims, that if she could, she would marry me and have my children. The only thing is that I don't love her. I just like her a lot, but nowhere near to love. I used to say that I love her though I didn't mean it. Over the summer I admitted to her the truth sbout my feelings for her. Thinking this would driver her away, it only brough her closer. She is glad that I am able to tell her the truth on how I feel because she feels it brings us closer. We are curently intimate in the act of sex. I have always wondered if I am in it because of sex. My question is should I stay with her, and if I do, is it right for us to be having sex?

Dude, take it from another guy, having sex with a girl is not gonna get her away from you.

Psychotic girls like that feed off of the intimacy.
Tell her she's a stepping stone so you know what you want when you're old enough to make a mature decision as to what kind of girl you'd like when you want something serious.

Think about it.
If you cut out the sex would you still be with her?
If yes stay with it.
If no jump ship.

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My boyfriend of eight months nearly always wants sex. I've got a strong libido too but it bugs me that he will try to initiate sex every time I enter my bedroom. Sometimes we have guests over, or it’s the middle of the afternoon and I have other things to be doing. Sometimes he'll start tugging my clothes off while the door is still open! We can't even sit through a whole movie without him trying to undress me.

I'm sick of feeling guilty when I shut him down. And He always acts so hurt by it! But I have other things to do with my life besides sex. Does anyone have any ideas how I can make him see that this just isn’t appropriate? I know he loves me and isn’t just in it for the sex, but it’s really pissing me off.

There isn't really anything to do except slap his hand, and be stern.

I'm a guy, and I've done that many of times. It's just ... nature. Men were put here to plant their seed.

Just lay out the ground rules for him.
Tell him if he's as persistent as he is now, he'll lose what he already gets.

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hey this is kinda embarassing but im 18 and im a virgin! most girls my age have lost there virginitys at age 14! i feel so lonley and left out! so i lie and say im not! its not that i cant find someone its just that im so picky! i want it to be special and want to be in love! wat should i do? should i lose it with some guy i dont know? or wait for the special one? and is this wiered? i really need some advice! i lie to so many ppl and i feel bad! i want to be honest with my friends but im to embarassed!
-HELP
babyll873

All those people that say wait til marriage are lame...OVER half of marriages now days end in divorce. If you wind up getting one is your husband really that special? Seriously? Then you're going to play the field, maybe get married again, and then what? Your virginity's gone. You can't offer it to this new man you want to spend the rest of your life with.

I say find some guy and do it. Virginities overrated. It's just something to make yourself feel good about not having sex. Lots of people use it to make themselves seem holier than thou, when they're not.

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is it ok to make out with a retainer will it be any differnt do you think the guy will notice?

Hell, I used to make out with my retainer and it was no biggy. I mean just take proper care of it and you won't have any problems. You can't feel it.

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If a guy is trying to avoid me should I still try to talk to him?

I'd say he doesn't wanna talk to you, and doesn't want to talk to you, he probably doesn't even care about space, or else he'd say "I'd like some time alone."

Of course, this is ... coming from a guy who avoids a lot of girls.

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I am 15 my bf is 16. I know he doesn't have a lot of money and I was wondering, do you think it is OK if I offer to pay sometimes? I don't want to hurt his feelings or make him mad. Should I ask him about it?

Heck, offer to pay all the time. He'll enjoy it.

I appreciate that.

I mean if he paid all the time, that'd make him the dominant one in the relationship, and you wouldn't want that would you?

So just make it a level playing ground ya know?

Guys know girls like to pay sometimes so it shouldn't be a biggie.

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ok, i think this is going to sound really dumb, but i may as well ask it anyway. im 14/f.
well, im going out with this guy, we've been going out for nearly a month now, and he's my first proper boyfriend, and i know im the most serious he's had.
anyway, we're going to watch a movie in a couple of days, and some of my mates and some of his are coming too. the thing is, when we've been out before, we've been out in town, in the park, ive been to his house and things like that, so its not really the most romantic of settings, and i havent kissed him properly yet. i mean, we're fairly comfortable with each other and stuff, thre just hasnt been the right time to kiss him. and ive never kissed a guy before. so, any tips on how to handle the back row of the cinema? any advice would be appreciated. thanks

From personal experience...people aren't going to be looking, they'll be watching a movie...

Just make eye contact with him, subtly make a move in...let him follow up...and voila...you'll be kissing...

Honestly, you'd be surprised what people do in theaters...

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